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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>I'm Pretty Sure This Isn't True....
youretooloud 10:07 AM 08-15-2011
But, I had a new mom come today, and she tried my door. I had locked it, since they were very late, and I assumed she was a no show.

I always keep the door unlocked during drop off and pick up. But, after 9:00, I lock it.

She tried to tell me "I have been working with licensing for years, and open door means you leave the door open at all times". I actually laughed at her.

I told her "open door" means you can come over and see your child when ever you like, but I'll open the door FOR you. It doesn't mean I leave my door unlocked at all times.

She was extremely rude to me in front of the kids, so I termed her on the spot, and they left.

I bet she was one of those moms who wants to stay home, and now she can go home and say to her husband "I tried, but the lady is crazy and wouldn't even let me in! So, I'm just going to be a stay at home mom".

She didn't even seem like she was remotely serious when she was arguing with me... it was like she wanted to pick any fight she could so I'd tell her to leave.
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Cat Herder 10:10 AM 08-15-2011
Are you ready for a visit?
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Michelle 10:22 AM 08-15-2011
Originally Posted by Catherder:
Are you ready for a visit?
Exactly what I was thinking.... these kind of moms are very vindictive
The way I deal with this kind of situation is, I just tell the mom, Yes, I always keep the door locked for the protection of the kids and myself.
Hopefully she will just go home and chill out and not call.
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Meeko 10:30 AM 08-15-2011
You are right. Open door policy means parents can come visit any time they wish. But you do NOT have to have your doors unlocked.

I would call your licensing dept. and tell them what happened and that you termed her.

That way...when she calls them to tell them you bit her child four times, hit him with a belt and hung him up by his toes from a tree in the back yard and threw rocks at him.......they will know the truth. My licensor told me she has heard some real doozies of stories over the years. She told me that only a handful of the complaints they receive are legit..... sadly, about 90% of the complaint calls are not truthful and they are made because the parent has been termed over non-payment, behavior etc.
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youretooloud 10:41 AM 08-15-2011
Originally Posted by Catherder:
Are you ready for a visit?
I'm not licensed and it's not illegal. So, she can send anyone she wants, but they can't do anything.
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AnneCordelia 10:46 AM 08-15-2011
My policy is the same as yours....come anytime your child is in care and I'll be happy to open the door for you. I always explain this in full at the interview.

She sounds like a particularly fun case of crazy...how did she get by the screening? LOL!
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AnythingsPossible 11:06 AM 08-15-2011
In my state open door policy requires that doors remain unlocked at all times. Fire code requires this as well. I don't like it, but it is the way our rules read.
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sharlan 11:07 AM 08-15-2011
I have never heard that you have to have your door unlocked, not here anyways.

Once less crazy parent to deal with.
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Cat Herder 11:07 AM 08-15-2011
Originally Posted by youretooloud:
I'm not licensed and it's not illegal. So, she can send anyone she wants, but they can't do anything.
I agree you are WELL within your rights.....

Remember, I keep my doors locked, have a driveway alarm and one way glass....

I am just saying..."Be ready.."

These types of women are vindictive.
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CheekyChick 11:11 AM 08-15-2011
Originally Posted by AnythingsPossible:
In my state open door policy requires that doors remain unlocked at all times. Fire code requires this as well. I don't like it, but it is the way our rules read.
It's the same in Oregon. I have to have one door unlocked at all times. They say it's a matter of allowing emergency personnel (fire/police) access to the house if needed. I don't keep the front or side door open (I have crafty two year olds), but I leave the back door open.
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sharlan 11:15 AM 08-15-2011
Originally Posted by CheekyChick:
It's the same in Oregon. I have to have one door unlocked at all times. They say it's a matter of allowing emergency personnel (fire/police) access to the house if needed. I don't keep the front or side door open (I have crafty two year olds), but I leave the back door open.
IMHO, that's silly BECAUSE, in a true emergency, they aren't going to hunt for an unlocked door, they're going to bust in through the first one they come to.
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CheekyChick 11:20 AM 08-15-2011
Originally Posted by sharlan:
IMHO, that's silly BECAUSE, in a true emergency, they aren't going to hunt for an unlocked door, they're going to bust in through the first one they come to.
I totally agree. I think that's a silly rule. PLUS, I live on a busy street and had to convince my licensor to allow me to keep the back door unlocked, instead of the front door. There is NO way I would feel safe having my front door unlocked with 2 and 3 year olds.
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Cat Herder 11:33 AM 08-15-2011
Originally Posted by sharlan:
IMHO, that's silly BECAUSE, in a true emergency, they aren't going to hunt for an unlocked door, they're going to bust in through the first one they come to.
True.... I have seen me do it.
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youretooloud 11:34 AM 08-15-2011
The dad just called and said "She was there at 7:30 and you wouldn't let her in".

I said "the door was unlocked at 7:30, and I had a whole group coming in between 7:15 and 8:00....so, she wasn't here until after 9:30".

He claims she's done this before, apologized to me, and said "we'll just leave things the way they are, I'm sorry it didn't work out".

Like I was going to say "Oh, sure, let's try this again". LOL.
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youretooloud 11:38 AM 08-15-2011
WOW! Apparently, this same woman just called my best friend who does childcare in my neighborhood. SHe asked what she charges, and if she had any openings, and told her she just had a bad experience with a lady in the neighborhood.

Of course I'd already told my friend all about it, so she wasn't falling for it.

Too bad too, she has two openings, and this boy would fit into the group if mom wasn't kinda psycho.
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Christian Mother 03:13 PM 08-15-2011
I am with you tooloud...the door is locked as soon as the last child is dropped off. My littles comes from 6:30 to 8am. The parents are really good about drop offs. But, if a child is 15min late from when there normally supposed to be dropped of...I do the calling. I want to know whats going on bc I am always doing things with the kido's and it's distracting if they come late. I also am gated from the house bc my door is on the side of the house. So the parents ashually have to use there personal key to get in. I leave my door unlocked in the mornings for them to come right in as I am making breakfast or getting my children ready for school but after 8am door gets locked. I've never had anyone ashually comment about it though. I mean it isn't like you didn't unlock it for her. But I think it has to do do with w/her attitude... I'd be upset. Some people ashually have the decency to say they where sorry for being late and explain why. Sorry this happened to you.
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justgettingstarted 03:58 PM 08-15-2011
Originally Posted by sharlan:
IMHO, that's silly BECAUSE, in a true emergency, they aren't going to hunt for an unlocked door, they're going to bust in through the first one they come to.
Where I live emergency services cannot break into your house even if you call in the emergency unless they can physically see you injured or unconcious on the floor through a window. This may be why some places require you to have a door unlocked...crazy but true! We just went over this in my CPR class.
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Cat Herder 04:28 PM 08-15-2011
Originally Posted by thinkinboutstarting:
Where I live emergency services cannot break into your house even if you call in the emergency unless they can physically see you injured or unconscious on the floor through a window. This may be why some places require you to have a door unlocked...crazy but true! We just went over this in my CPR class.
We just have to act with "Due Regard" when faced with a "high level of suspicion"...

Here is an example of typical protocol:

E. Forced Entries
1. Officers responding to 911 silent/disconnect calls or panic/duress
alarms which may require a forced entry will:
a. Attempt to get a response at the location.
b. If no response, request a computer generated history from Dispatch
of runs at the location to determine if other 911 silent/disconnect
calls or panic/duress alarms have occurred at the location.
c. Evaluate the current situation
1) Are there any neighbors who may have a key to the
premises (landlord, etc.)?
2) Have Dispatch check for further information from the alarm
company or monitoring station.
d. If unable to determine the cause of the 911 silent/disconnect call
or panic/duress alarm, request a supervisor respond to the
scene.
1) If an on-scene officer believes an emergency situation
exists, with supervisory approval, a forced entry may be
made prior to the supervisor's arrival.

2. Any other situation requiring a forcible entry will necessitate prior
approval of a supervisor.
F. Supervisor Responsibilities
1. If a forced entry is necessary, the supervisor will:
a. Announce at the door a forced entry will be made if no one
answers.
1) The Fire Department has entry devices and can gain
access to upper floors when a forced entry is necessary.
b. Ensure the entrance is secured before leaving the scene.
c. Process a Forcible Entry Form through channels to the Police Chief
explaining the circumstances of the forced entry. Complete a
Form ***, Report, if any damage was done to property during the forced entry.
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SandeeAR 04:40 PM 08-15-2011
My door is locked at ALL times. I have drop off from 7:30-8:30, I lock it between each parent! I live on a VERY busy main street in my town. I lock the screen behind each parent as they come in and sign in/sign out.
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Zoe 04:42 PM 08-15-2011
Me too. I'm paranoid about people coming into my house unannounced so it's locked the SECOND each parent leaves.
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wdmmom 04:50 PM 08-15-2011
My open door policy is a bit different. I allow parents to come see their child anytime (except for naptime) however, I only do one admission and one departure per day so if a parent comes to check on their child, he/she must take them with them.

And, I keep my front door locked except from 715am - 830am (admission time) and 345pm - 530pm (departure time). I might on occasion keep my front door open during departures and I'll lock the screen door. The rest of the time of the day, the door is locked. I have a garage door that is unlocked and provides an exit and a back door that is kept unlocked as well.
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cheerfuldom 04:58 PM 08-15-2011
I don't have any problems currently with parents coming and going willy-nilly. I do keep my door locked after drop offs too.
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Hunni Bee 05:49 PM 08-15-2011
Well...we had a hostage situation going on across the street all day. Officers with guns running around...not fun.

We are located in a relatively unsafe area on an extremely busy street...literally crazies from off the street would be able to walk right in if we did not keep the door locked.

After today, we are purchasing an intercom system so we can see who's at the door without opening or even going to it.

Everybody in the neighborhood knows we are a bunch of women with a whole lot of little children to keep safe...prime targets for robbery, a place to barricade up in, etc...I would not feel safe at my job if the doors were unlocked for anyone to enter freely.
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grandmom 07:24 PM 08-15-2011
My state law, must remain unlocked. ugh.
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mom2many 07:50 PM 08-15-2011
We live in a relatively "safe" neighborhood, but I do not feel okay leaving my doors unlocked, so that anyone could just walk in! I just cannot imagine how anyone would be annoyed showing up and having the door locked for safety issues!

That mom is definitely a crazy one! I think you were so smart terming her on the spot! She most certainly would have caused more issues on who knows what later!
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Meeko 07:07 AM 08-16-2011
Originally Posted by Hunni Bee:
Well...we had a hostage situation going on across the street all day. Officers with guns running around...not fun.

We are located in a relatively unsafe area on an extremely busy street...literally crazies from off the street would be able to walk right in if we did not keep the door locked.

After today, we are purchasing an intercom system so we can see who's at the door without opening or even going to it.

Everybody in the neighborhood knows we are a bunch of women with a whole lot of little children to keep safe...prime targets for robbery, a place to barricade up in, etc...I would not feel safe at my job if the doors were unlocked for anyone to enter freely.
We had a situation here many years back. We heard someone trying to get into our house one evening...shaking the door handle and yelling. We looked through the window and a guy was running down our driveway and ran into a house just down the street. A few minutes later, the police arrived and brought the guy out in handcuffs. Evidently, he thought his girlfriend was hiding in the neighborhood and he was crazy with rage/drugs. The house he entered had an unlocked door and he ran in and started throwing things around and yelling and got in a fist fight with the owner after hitting his wife. It could have been so much worse.

He had tried OUR door first! We were so close to a nasty encounter with a maniac. I was so glad we have a habit of keeping our doors locked at all times.

You are so right about being vunerable when alone and tending children. Our training instructor told us they have heard about day care providers being targeted and stalked because it's known they are alone in the house with children, which makes them easy targets. Scary thought.

I think it's weird how different states have different rules. We are advised TO lock our doors, were as other states don't allow it.
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Country Kids 07:38 AM 08-16-2011
We have to have our doors unlocked at all times. Here is the ironic thing though-our state has had a in home attack and we still have to have them unlocked. About 14 years ago a in home childcare about 2 hours north of mine had a man come into the childcare, attack the provider (I think it was pretty serious, can't remember fully) and take one of the children. The child was older 5 or 6 possibly and the kidnapper came south on the freeway. Our area had a sharpshooter who they set up and he ended up shooting him I believe after the kidnapper flipped the car and wouldn't let her go.

This was a random attack-he had no ties to the childcare at all from what I can remember. Please remember though, we need to keep our doors unlocked.
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CheekyChick 07:48 AM 08-16-2011
Originally Posted by Hunni Bee:
Well...we had a hostage situation going on across the street all day. Officers with guns running around...not fun.

We are located in a relatively unsafe area on an extremely busy street...literally crazies from off the street would be able to walk right in if we did not keep the door locked.

After today, we are purchasing an intercom system so we can see who's at the door without opening or even going to it.

Everybody in the neighborhood knows we are a bunch of women with a whole lot of little children to keep safe...prime targets for robbery, a place to barricade up in, etc...I would not feel safe at my job if the doors were unlocked for anyone to enter freely.
Bless your heart... It must be so scary to live in that environment. Keep safe.
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CheekyChick 07:49 AM 08-16-2011
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
We have to have our doors unlocked at all times. Here is the ironic thing though-our state has had a in home attack and we still have to have them unlocked. About 14 years ago a in home childcare about 2 hours north of mine had a man come into the childcare, attack the provider (I think it was pretty serious, can't remember fully) and take one of the children. The child was older 5 or 6 possibly and the kidnapper came south on the freeway. Our area had a sharpshooter who they set up and he ended up shooting him I believe after the kidnapper flipped the car and wouldn't let her go.

This was a random attack-he had no ties to the childcare at all from what I can remember. Please remember though, we need to keep our doors unlocked.
Oh my goodness!!! That is SOOOOOOOO scary. I hope the child was okay.
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CheekyChick 07:51 AM 08-16-2011
Originally Posted by Meeko60:
We had a situation here many years back. We heard someone trying to get into our house one evening...shaking the door handle and yelling. We looked through the window and a guy was running down our driveway and ran into a house just down the street. A few minutes later, the police arrived and brought the guy out in handcuffs. Evidently, he thought his girlfriend was hiding in the neighborhood and he was crazy with rage/drugs. The house he entered had an unlocked door and he ran in and started throwing things around and yelling and got in a fist fight with the owner after hitting his wife. It could have been so much worse.

He had tried OUR door first! We were so close to a nasty encounter with a maniac. I was so glad we have a habit of keeping our doors locked at all times.

You are so right about being vunerable when alone and tending children. Our training instructor told us they have heard about day care providers being targeted and stalked because it's known they are alone in the house with children, which makes them easy targets. Scary thought.

I think it's weird how different states have different rules. We are advised TO lock our doors, were as other states don't allow it.
Thank the Lord you had your doors locked!!! That is so scary!!! Reading all of this makes me want to keep ALL of my doors locked.
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MarinaVanessa 07:58 AM 08-16-2011
Originally Posted by youretooloud:
WOW! Apparently, this same woman just called my best friend who does childcare in my neighborhood. SHe asked what she charges, and if she had any openings, and told her she just had a bad experience with a lady in the neighborhood.

Of course I'd already told my friend all about it, so she wasn't falling for it.

Too bad too, she has two openings, and this boy would fit into the group if mom wasn't kinda psycho.
So DCD called huh? Sounds like she's been through this before and didn't learn her lesson, that's too bad.

I feel bad for the next provider. The good thing is that it won't be your friend that has to deal with her next so that's good that you warned her.
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Tags:parent - unrealistic expectations, terminate - now, termination - behavioral
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