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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Rocking???
caligirl 03:14 PM 10-17-2011
Do any of you rock your DC infants to sleep???

I started a new infant a few weeks ago. He's 7 months..... Very clingy during the day unless I'm sitting with him on the floor or holding him...... Not uncommon for the first few weeks at his age........... problem is, he won't nap longer than 10 min cat naps......so by afternoon he is in a 'mood'......

So I gave her a sheet to fill out 'info on child' with a few simple questions about routines, likes, dislikes......... and on there she puts that he is rocked to sleep and that he sleeps with parents, not in a crib......

Well, that explains it!!! Unfortunately, I'm not going to have him nap on me for 2 hours, and I don't rock them to sleep, especially at 7 months old.... I haven't done that since my first son was a baby (26 yrs ago), and I learned the hard way that wasn't a good way to teach a baby to sleep....so I wised up by the time my second one was born......

He was in a center based childcare before coming to me.........I'm wondering what they did for nap time??

And what, if anything would you say to the mom? She is just the sweetest thing......so I don't want to make her feel bad, but this poor little guy is not napping because I'm not doing what mommy does.
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KBCsMommy 03:53 PM 10-17-2011
I have no idea why parents set their children up for this.
They rock them to sleep and sleep with them. Then the babies dont know how to fall asleep.
And expect them to sleep at daycare. It makes no sense.

All I can suggest is putting him in the pnp rub his back and he will eventually fall asleep. You could do cio too. It takes time a few weeks for them to get it. But its an uphill battle if mom rocks baby and he sleeps with her.
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Cat Herder 04:08 PM 10-17-2011
Yeah, not exactly team players, huh? Perfect recipe for setting a kid up for failure in group care.

I go over those things in the interview and would have passed on them, myself.

Now I'd recomend the standard old "Lay him down awake and allow him to fall asleep naturally on his back."

It will take time, you will want to pull your hair out from time to time.

Only you will know how long you will be willing to work with this.

Good luck, hun. It can be done, I promise.
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Ariana 04:17 PM 10-17-2011
Yikes what the heck did he do at a centre? When I worked at a centre it took us 2 weeks to "break" the sleeping on mom habit and the kid was 18 months!!! We had to sit with him every single day and just say "it's ok....your safe...time to rest" or a variation of that. It got to the point where he'd fall asleep sitting up and just plop over and wake himself up again over and over.

I agree that these parents are not doing what's best for the kid and setting him up for a miserable time My sister did the exact same thing with my niece after I told her she needed to teach her to sleep on her own before she went to DC. Luckily they found an understanding provider who actually got into te PNP with her until she fell asleep!! Obviously not everyone is 90lbs and can do that I would suggest rubbing his back in the PNP until he falls asleep and just being as patient as possible. Good luck!
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youretooloud 06:23 PM 10-17-2011
I don't mind rocking them. In fact, I'd love a reason to sit down.

But, I hope they realize that you aren't napping with him too.
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MNMum 08:53 PM 10-17-2011
I have co-slept with all my children. And they have all been horrible to get to sleep if I am the one putting them down. But are easy as pie for anyone else. My youngest spent some time in a center on a drop in basis. Started when he was 9 mos. They always said he slept fine. I'm assuming they just put him in a crib and let him cry. There are many benefits to co sleeping, especially if you are nursing a baby.
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dave4him 09:10 PM 10-17-2011
Hard not to rock a little baby... they just look at you with those sweet warm eyes and melt your whole world away
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Oneluckymom 10:14 PM 10-17-2011
Ok guys....I had my first little 4mo girl today.... I'm such a softy. I loooooved holding her and putting her to sleep in my arms. Warn me now, should I NOT soak up all that baby goodness when she's ready to sleep?
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Mandy_Jane 10:40 PM 10-17-2011
Why would a parent rock their child to sleep/co-sleep with their infant? Hmmm, maybe because they LOVE them? I rocked each of my daughter's to sleep as well as co-slept with both of them because I was breastfeeding. It was an awesome set up for us and I feel much closer with my girls who are now 4 & 6 years old because of our co-sleeping experience. I have a rocking chair in my home for a reason. My girls STILL love to be rocked when they are sleepy. I personally think if you do not have time to rock a baby to sleep, then you should not be caring for infants. I can understand not being able to carry the baby 24/7 while in care, but nap-time is special and sometimes a little rocking and cuddling is just what it takes for babies to fall asleep. If you're too busy to do that, then don't accept infants in to your program. Toddlers would be more suited for you.

I would like to add that I used to work at a Kindercare about 12 years ago, and I always wanted to hold and cuddle the babies. I was specifically told NOT to hold them too much because I would "SPOIL" them and we couldn't be holding them all day. Needless to say, I quit working at that daycare, and shortly thereafter I started my own in-home daycare. Cuddling with tiny infants is the best part of my day!
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caligirl 11:31 PM 10-17-2011
Ok, I guess everyone took my question wrong........ I don't think there is anything wrong with rocking a baby. I DO rock him for a while after his bottle, he falls right to sleep. But, as with many infants, as soon as he feels me lowering him into his crib, he wakes up and cries, and will not go back to sleep on his own...I cannot spend the entire nap time rocking him, or holding him. I have another baby his age who also deserves my attention, plus 4 older children, so I've got a full day (as most of you can relate), so by the time nap time rolls around, I need to be able to put this little one down for a nap with everyone else so I can have a little breathing time and get prepared for the afternoon's activities......

The reason I was asking this is because this is the first baby in probably 15 years that I haven't been able to get to nap on his own. He is SO over tired from not sleeping all day that he is fussy all afternoon, SO tired that all he wants to do is be held or he cries. I feel very bad for the poor little guy because he isn't able to settle down to sleep without being held. Now, if I had no other children to care for, then that would be fine,I love rocking babies, but since I do have a full house, it is impossible to hold him for the 2 1/2 hours until they are all picked up and still be fair to the other children....

My question was, should I talk to the mom, ask her if she could help him out with falling asleep unassisted, or just try and teach him myself and let her continue doing what is doing at home.
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dave4him 03:46 AM 10-18-2011
Talk to mom sounds like a good idea to me. Get as much imput as you can
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nannyde 06:05 AM 10-18-2011
Originally Posted by Mandy_Jane:
Why would a parent rock their child to sleep/co-sleep with their infant? Hmmm, maybe because they LOVE them? I rocked each of my daughter's to sleep as well as co-slept with both of them because I was breastfeeding. It was an awesome set up for us and I feel much closer with my girls who are now 4 & 6 years old because of our co-sleeping experience. I have a rocking chair in my home for a reason. My girls STILL love to be rocked when they are sleepy. I personally think if you do not have time to rock a baby to sleep, then you should not be caring for infants. I can understand not being able to carry the baby 24/7 while in care, but nap-time is special and sometimes a little rocking and cuddling is just what it takes for babies to fall asleep. If you're too busy to do that, then don't accept infants in to your program. Toddlers would be more suited for you.

I would like to add that I used to work at a Kindercare about 12 years ago, and I always wanted to hold and cuddle the babies. I was specifically told NOT to hold them too much because I would "SPOIL" them and we couldn't be holding them all day. Needless to say, I quit working at that daycare, and shortly thereafter I started my own in-home daycare. Cuddling with tiny infants is the best part of my day!
Most likely Kindercare didn't want you to "spoil" the babies meant that they didn't want one staff one to oneing one kid for hours on end every day. That's a HUGE problem in center infant rooms. The ratio is one adult to three/four kids and you will have staff foot stomping about how the babies NEED to be rocked and end up with their rear in the one or two rockers in the room and the other staff running around like crazy taking care of the rocking staffs other three kids.

The next thing you know you have staff going to the Director saying that so and so is wanting to rock babies and not doing their share of the work. It causes conflict and a LOT of admin time. The directors just get the infant rooms off of doing it and along comes another staff member who thinks it's cruel not to rock babies.

And it goes on and on and on............ Trust me you were probably Kindercare's 200,000th employee with the same belief but all of Kindercares parents are paying for the adult who cares for their kid to HAVE two or three other babies.

The math doesn't work. It's too expensive. Now SOME rocking while feeding or to give a good snuggle... yes. But "too much" will spoil their profits and make the turnover in the infant room be worse than it already is.

You said: I personally think if you do not have time to rock a baby to sleep, then you should not be caring for infants.

I've been caring for kids in my home for 18 years and I've NEVER rocked babies to sleep. I rock them but NEVER to sleep. I rock them when they are wide awake and enjoying every minute of the little bit of "free motion" they get in my house.

You said: but nap-time is special and sometimes a little rocking and cuddling is just what it takes for babies to fall asleep.

Or you can put them to bed wide awake every day and have them put themselves to sleep. That's what I do and they all zoink out in a couple of minutes and sleep all the way thru nap.

I try to stay away from using motion consulation in my home. I definitely wouldn't do it around nap time.

Now newborns... six weeks thru three months... they are on a different feeding schedule and sleep so much. With them I just go with the flow until they are big enough to make it thru our nap. Usually happens between the second and end of the third month if I get them as six week old babies.

I'm just saying you can have an excellent career... raise healthy happy sleeping like babies babies and NEVER rock at nap. I don't have the time before nap be special. I don't put a lot of energy into helping do what nature designed them to do.

It's okay if YOU decide that's the way to take care of kids and do it but to suggest that if you don't do it you shouldn't be caring for kids under two... WOW I couldn't disagree more.
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2ndFamilyDC 06:33 AM 10-18-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:

Or you can put them to bed wide awake every day and have them put themselves to sleep. That's what I do and they all zoink out in a couple of minutes and sleep all the way thru nap.

I try to stay away from using motion consulation in my home. I definitely wouldn't do it around nap time.

Now newborns... six weeks thru three months... they are on a different feeding schedule and sleep so much. With them I just go with the flow until they are big enough to make it thru our nap. Usually happens between the second and end of the third month if I get them as six week old babies.

I'm just saying you can have an excellent career... raise healthy happy sleeping like babies babies and NEVER rock at nap. I don't have the time before nap be special. I don't put a lot of energy into helping do what nature designed them to do.

It's okay if YOU decide that's the way to take care of kids and do it but to suggest that if you don't do it you shouldn't be caring for kids under two... WOW I couldn't disagree more.



I love this comment - I don't put a lot of energy into helping do what nature designed them to do.
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Meeko 07:16 AM 10-18-2011
I learned the hard way with my first child. Rocked him to sleep, then spent five minutes sloooowwwwllyy lowering him into his crib because he would wake up and scream. Then up three, four times a night screaming at the top his lungs wanting a bottle and more rocking.....rinse/repeat.....it was crazy. We finally had a 4 night hell where we let him cry it out and then life got better! But I could kick myself for letting it get to that.

It was soooo nice and easy with the next three. Bath, then love and snuggles and a few minutes of rocking. Then into bed awake with lots of smiles. They learned to fall asleep IN bed. They all slept soundly through the night or nap time.

Think about it....how scary, even as an adult, would it be to fall asleep in one place and wake up in another...not knowing how you got there? This is how babies feel. They fall asleep in mom's loving, warm arms. Then BAM! they wake up and she is gone and they are in another place. Scary!

If they fall asleep themselves, in their crib, it is a familiar, soothing place. Transition to a big bed is easier too. Bed becomes a non-scary...even comforting place to be.
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Unregistered 07:24 AM 10-18-2011
My question was, should I talk to the mom, ask her if she could help him out with falling asleep unassisted, or just try and teach him myself and let her continue doing what is doing at home.[/quote]

I would try to work with him and do what works for you there. The parent is going to do what they want at home and they should. I am finding that some babies just don't sleep, no matter how tired they are and need it. Not fun. I would let him go on his own schedule as much as you can trying to adapt him into the daycare schedule as time goes on. Is he full time?

I believe in good communication with the parents, but in this case I think it might make her question your capabilities as a provider and go on the defense. Some parents are like this and some are over the top willing to help......all depends. I would want to know what the Center did and how the child did at the Center. Good luck- adjustment period is not easy.
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cheerfuldom 08:53 AM 10-18-2011
I don't rock kids to sleep, not even my own kids. My kids sleeps thru the night in their own area by 6 months old. The daycare babies are immediately put on a routine at 4 months old and learn to self sooth. I only keep kids that can adjust to what I provide. I do have parents that do something else at home. I don't care what they do at home as long as their child can do my plan here. It is always easier when mom and provider do the same things but it does not have to be that way. I never suggest that parents do my way unless they specifically ask and I am positive they want to know. Otherwise it turns into a confrontation and they will not be receptive to their daycare provider's ideas of not rocking/no co-sleeping/CIO, etc. (especially first time parents with kids under 1 year old)
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christinaskids 11:00 AM 10-18-2011
I had the same exact senario here with a 9 month old. I would suggest asking for moms assistance. I did and she was more than willing to help me out and all is ok now. I think if you explain that the rocking to sleep just doesnt work in group care with x number of kids running around and that her child is missing out, then she should understand.
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caligirl 11:14 AM 10-18-2011
This baby is just the sweetest little guy. ABSOLUTELY adorable, smiles easily and loves to cuddle... I just need to 'teach' him how to comfort himself and be able to fall asleep on his own. He is full time, here longer than anyone else during the day, so I SHOULD be able to train him. When he does nap, which isn't often, he's SO happy.
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Tags:cio, crying - ferber method, parent - unrealistic expectations, the ferber method
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