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Unregistered 08:11 PM 08-23-2019
Right now I currently only watch on 11 yr old after school and summers/school breaks (she's been with me since she was 15 months old, so she's like my own). Our daily routine after she gets off the bus is settle in/put things away, eat snack (sometimes I let her help make snack, like muffins for example), then I have a time set aside for her to do her homework and if she doesn't have homework I have 30 minutes of another beneficial activity that she has to do before any tablet time (she wants to play on her tablet the whole time). One day I'll have her do 30 minutes of reading a book of her choice, another day it might be drawing/coloring (she likes this but still complains because she wants on her tablet), or doing something creative (art, craft, building something, etc). On the days she reads she complains, tries to argue, wastes time getting started, gets an attitude with me etc. I feel like reading is very important for kids and I know she doesn't read while at home. But she gives me SUCH a hard time about it and has been complaining to her mom about it who sympathizes with her I'm thinking (but who knows what the girl is telling her mom. She's known to really stretch the truth, although her mom doesn't seem to realize it). Would you continue to enforce a 30 minute reading time, on reading days, before allowing tablet time when she has no homework (she does it at school last period), or would you let it go knowing her parents don't care if she reads or not? I limit screen time for my own young kids (ages 2 1/2 and 19 months) as well so it goes against my teacher heart to allow so much tablet time and no reading time but I don't want her parents to pull her out either. I've been her caregiver for SO long now. I don't know that they would pull her out over this, but she seemed to go through providers quickly (Due to her constant complaints) during the time I was not living near enough to watch her myself. Im okay with a few minutes of tablet use and I have been giving her 30-45 minutes on it at the end of the day before her mom picks her up. I've mentioned the tablet use to her mom and she doesn't want her to be on it the whole time either, but I don't think she realizes the reading and other activities are so she has something beneficial to do before getting on her tablet. It would be hard to talk to her mom about it because I don't know exactly what the girl is saying or what her mom is thinking since she hasnt mentioned anything to me about it.
I hope I made sense of this 😆
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Michael 09:59 PM 08-23-2019
Welcome to the forum. Consider registering.
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redmaple 06:40 AM 08-24-2019
With all the fuss I would start limiting the tablet use to Fridays only. If the fuss continued, there would be no tablet use at all.
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Unregistered 06:53 AM 08-24-2019
Originally Posted by Michael:
Welcome to the forum. Consider registering.
I'm actually a member but haven't been on in so long I can't remember my user name or password lol. I was preschool/daycare teacher. But that's been 3 yrs or more because I got out of childcare and had my own kids and we had moved across country, then moved back last summer.
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coloradoprovider 09:39 AM 08-24-2019
I would approach this as an ongoing conversation with parent(s) Something along the lines of. . .
1st day: talk with the parents about what her after school schedule looks like. Give them an informative article written by an educational expert about WHY it's important to limit screen time. ("hey, I found an interesting article! let me know what you think")
2nd day: "Did you get a chance to read article?" if so, "what did you think?" discuss and bring it back to why their daughter's after school schedule flows the way it does - stress that you are willing to be the "meanie" because you care about her and you are willing to suffer her whining for her own good! However, you must have the parent's support

If parents pull daughter because she's unhappy with the limit on screen time - then they're going to be creating a very poor dynamic when entering the teen years! Daughter pouts, parents comply
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Michael 11:52 AM 08-24-2019
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I'm actually a member but haven't been on in so long I can't remember my user name or password lol. I was preschool/daycare teacher. But that's been 3 yrs or more because I got out of childcare and had my own kids and we had moved across country, then moved back last summer.
If you could send me the email address you used when signing up I could retrieve it for you. Send it to michael@ccin.com
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Unregistered 04:37 PM 08-24-2019
Is she picking the book? What is she into? Mabey its more that she needs the right book. Hey! I got it! try a book on tablet tricks or tricks for a game on the tablet she likes. Anything to get her reading.
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e.j. 06:28 PM 08-24-2019
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
It would be hard to talk to her mom about it because I don't know exactly what the girl is saying or what her mom is thinking since she hasnt mentioned anything to me about it.
I don't think I'd worry about what, if anything, the girl is saying to her mom. I'd talk with the mother anyway, explaining what the girl's schedule is at your home and why you've set it up that way. I'd ask for her thoughts and go from there. You may find that the mom appreciates what you're doing and is grateful for the fact that you're willing to stand up to the girl's complaints instead of her having to listen to them.
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Unregistered 09:16 PM 08-24-2019
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Is she picking the book? What is she into? Mabey its more that she needs the right book. Hey! I got it! try a book on tablet tricks or tricks for a game on the tablet she likes. Anything to get her reading.
Yep, the book is up to her. All summer she fought it too, but she knew every day that we would have 30 minutes of reading. Yet she still wouldn't bring a book to read, so Id get out a whole big stack of books I read when I was her age and tell her she could pick what she wanted to read since she didn't bring her own book. She complained so hard about not liking any of those books, but STILL wouldn't bring her own. And its the same since school started. She told me one day that she left the book on the bus, and the next day she left it at school. So I showed her the big pile of books she could choose from and she basically refused to read that day. Gave so much attitude about it that she lost her tablet time. But then the next day I got a text from her mom asking me to please let her have plenty of time to draw for a newsletter thing. She drew one picture and thought she was done and then when she got the tablet out I reminded her that it was reading time and she said, "But I don't have to read today!" Just then her dad arrived to pick her up, so I wasn't able to go any further with that conversation. But I'm wondering if her mom told her she wouldn't have to or something since she'd asked me to let her have plenty of time to draw.
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tlemother 07:01 AM 08-25-2019
I will be the dissenter here. If mom isn't on board with you having her read and she isn't bothering anyone else just let her use her tablet. I have a 12 year old. Tablets and cell phones are life to them. My 12 year old HATES to read. You can't make someone like reading or even do it. She could be sitting there staring at the page then turning it every few minutes to make you think she is actually reading. She is likely aging out of your program soon anyway. As a former provider I get what you are trying to enforce. As a mom I just want my kid to be happy where she is and be able to do what she wants within reason since she honestly probably doesn't really want to be there anyway.
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finsup 07:25 PM 08-25-2019
So my son, who's 8, used to give me big time attitude over screen time. Always wanting more, no limits etc. We came up with a deal. He could have (in our case, and this is over the whole day) 2 hours. He could use them when he wanted, on what he wanted to do (tablet, Xbox etc). Once that time was up, if there was any complaining or whining etc about it, he lost all screen time for the next day. This worked well because he felt like he had some control getting to choose when to use his time, but I still got to set reasonable limits so he wasn't on all day. I'd probably try this approach. Once she realizes she's used "her time" and whining will loose it for the next day, she may be more likely to pick up a book willingly etc.
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LittleExplorers 11:34 AM 08-26-2019
We don't do any screen time except the occasional cosmic kids yoga. I would take away all tablet time for a month and see what happens. I wouldn't push reading though. She may need downtime after focusing all day at school. I would set up some busy bins or something of that nature for her age if you need her to sit. Otherwise, I would be headed outside to let her run, but we focus on outdoor time in my program and home.
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Annalee 11:48 AM 08-26-2019
My take on "pushing kids to read" is this. Both my sons, now 10th and 12th grade, did not "like" to read. A second grade teacher told me my oldest could "sing it" but couldn't tell her a cotton-pickin' thing he had read Well, I stressed and carried them to school at 6:15 every morning when they were in 2nd and 4th grade per the teachers persistence for tutoring(afterall, she got an extra paycheck for this through the school). When we got to junior high, the 7th grade teacher put my mind ease by telling me that both my sons grades were good. She went on to explain that "if they couldn't read, then they would not have the good grades they had in science, history, etc.". She told me to let them alone because they could read, but chose to read what interested them. And here I am now with a senior that is well on his way to be an electrician and general contractor through the vocational school, has passed multiple safety tests, etc.. So I would not "push" any child to read. Encourage them, but do not force them.

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Mom2Two 02:11 PM 08-27-2019
I didn't quite catch what the agreement is with mom. Make sure it's in writing.

I don't know that I would be willing to have brawls with a kid over homework. It's just like trying to get a kid to try their vegies--I actually do put a bit more pressure on that than I am required to, but I'm not going to brawl with kids over it.

What is the kid's assessed reading level? If she's doing okay on her level, then just get creative. It wouldn't matter if she read picture books or comic books.

I just don't think I'd be willing to brawl with someone else's child over an issue like this. Mom is capable of giving rewards or consequences after care for cooperating while in your care.
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Cat Herder 02:24 PM 08-27-2019
I'd get rid of the tablet, especially if it is internet capable.

Net safety is not in my area of expertise and I will not host it.

I am old (ish) and pay webroot to do mine for me.
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Ms.Kay 06:34 PM 08-27-2019
SA ers..earn screen time...2 basic kids books.. read to the little s 10 min....Dr Seuss..earns 15 min each book....and if you read it like a teacher with voices ect...20 min!! 90% of the time....they see the little.kids like it. We only have screen time on technology Tuesday and Thursdays!! No cell phones!
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hwichlaz 02:30 PM 08-28-2019
I'd tell her that this is her last chance. That if she complains and delays today, that the tablet will stay home for two weeks.
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Unregistered 03:15 PM 09-01-2019
I thought I better update. The girl's dad must have had enough of the tablet use and attitude around it and threw it out. So she hasnt had it this week and her mood and attitude has been SO much better. Its like having a different girl here! She's very upset and mad at her dad over the tablet, but she's been so much happier when she's here. This week she got picked up early each day so she hasnt had any reading time, but I doubt it will be much of an issue now. She hasnt given attitude about the other stuff she's been asked to do here, and her mom said she was even helping out more at home. So Id say her dad solved that problem, even if he didn't do it in the way I would have as a parent 😄
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Cat Herder 08:47 AM 09-03-2019
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
The girl's dad must have had enough of the tablet use and attitude around it and threw it out.
I like him.
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Tags:after school activities, internet safety, reading
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