I have a 5 y.o. dcg who will be starting kindergarten this fall. She is an absolute sweetheart, but she struggles so much with entertaining herself at all. She is constantly asking me what we can do next. She wants playdoh, so I set up playdoh & she complains and asks for help the entire time. She can't roll it into a ball by herself. She can't spread it flat without help. She can't cut out shapes without help. Next she wants legos, but it takes 30 minutes of refusing to let her move on before she will finish cleaning up the playdoh mess. We finally get that cleaned up and move on to legos. She can't fit the pieces together without help. She asks me to help her every 2 minutes. I keep saying, "This is your work. Use your muscles and press the pieces together." She gets frustrated that I won't do it for her so she wants to color. Its another 20 minutes of "You can't get anything else out until you clean up the legos." We finally move on and she wants art supplies. I allow her to get those out and the same scenario ensues. I. Am. Exhausted. and I still have 6 other kids to take care of. I've been doing preschool activities with her during nap time, but I didn't want her to get burned out before school starts so Ive been suggesting she do other fun things like play playdoh, build towers, do puzzles, magnetic dolls, etc. But with every thing I suggest its another round of asking me to do it for her. She asks incessantly for preschool materials. She is unsure what to do with herself because we usually do that during rest time and she is bored without it, but I'm just so tired. I've tried just giving her worksheets which she loves, but she still asks for my help the entire time. I'm so tired of saying, "This is your work. You do it." Mostly I just needed to vent, but does anyone have some suggestions for activities that would foster independence? Everything I've thought of just equates to more work for me. Sensory bins equal mess and constant questions about how to use the materials, what they're for, and why I mixed them together. This little girl does struggle with fine motor skills, but most of the issue is that she wants someone to do everything for her. Suggestions?

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Yesterday I was so tired I just told her she had to stay on her mat during nap time. There would be no preschool options. She was actually asleep in 10 minutes. Maybe I should try that more often. I know her mom won't approve of that as a normal option though. She struggles to sleep at night when she naps. You know the drill.

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Leave. I have a child like that (4yo DCG) and I literally leave the room. She can sit there bored.. Or work through it herself. I check on her every few minutes and I'll interact but the second she asks for help, I leave.

I know your pain. It's grates my gears to hear her constantly questioning me and whining about not being able tl do something. I want to scream, so I don't subject myself to it anymore. I just leave.

it's been working!

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At that age and still asking for help? Hmm, maybe she doesn't get enough practice at home on her own and/or maybe she has everything done for her.

I think simple and firm short answers should be enough now. She's old enough to understand by now. She will need to distinguish that there is a difference in home treatment and treatment at daycare ... it is very doable. For now it's just about adjusting and fighting it.

For kids this age with this problem I just remind them before I take out whatever activity they want to try next that "This is your activity. I need to _____ so I can't help you. Are you going to be able to do it/play with it by yourself?" If they request to have me do things for them first I offer encouragement maybe once or twice "You can't do it on your own? That's why you need to practice." "The more you practice the better you will get". After that if they ask for help or want my interaction a simple "I told you, I can't". No other arguments, no other explanation. I have theory with kids this age "I only have to tell you once" and once is enough. They understand, they just don't always accept it. No fighting, no struggle, no more explanations. If you play along and explain time after time then she's still getting that attention and is still getting interaction ... which is what she wants.

If she continuously moves on to activity after activity because you refuse to help her and there is continuously a struggle with cleaning up don't be afraid to say no. "This is what you have to play with. You have a hard time cleaning up so I'm not getting anything else out for you. Maybe later you can show me that you can clean up on your own." She'll keep struggling for you only if you allow her, if you don't feed into it she'll evantually see that her tactics don't work and eventually the behavior will improve.

Just be patient. If she constantly has adult help and interaction while playing at home then it'll take longer but you can still improve it some.

Sounds like she's either watching a lot of TV or playing with things that keep her stimulated and she doesn't know how to keep herself stimulated or she's being "babied" at home.

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I agree with pp, sounds like she may be a pampered princess at home

I'd give her toys she can use on her own, back to basic toys, as in baby toys. Not the toys for the older children. Those toys would be for the older children that can handle them, as a special privilege. After she's shown she can accomplish what you are asking of with the baby toys, then she can graduate to the older children toys. Between being bored quickly by the baby toys, and you walking away and not giving her attention to her antics, she'll catch on quickly.

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Yes,she was very sick as an infant/toddler so very babied to make up for it. Also, a whole lot of screen time at home.

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