I have had nothing but issues with this one dcm. When she was supposed to start she kept changing her start date, but she wouldn't let me know until after she was already supposed to have dropped her off that day. I told her from now on I needed to know if she wouldn't be showing up. Then it was issues with payment. Ever since I enforced paying in advance for the upcoming week, she's been as big of a pain about it as she can. One time she had her friend watch her that week so she wouldn't have to bring the money by to me. Then she'd just show up whenever she felt like it to pay on the day it was due (and when I don't have any other children scheduled for Friday I'd like to not be stuck at home all day (see my post about needing ideas on how to get payment). She was doing that just so she could be in control. So this week I let the parents know I needed the money by 12:00 pm on this Friday and that from now on the upcoming week's payment is due on child's last day of attendance each week. This dcm texts me yesterday and says, "My friend will be watching her this week since you are closed Monday. I won't have time to bring the money to you today because I'm moving all day today. I can't get it to you until tomorrow if you want to watch her this week". I told her she could drop it off tomorrow then, but from now on it's due her last day of attendance. Well last night I saw her facebook status and she was talking about what a great day it had been of shopping, eating out at a sit down place, and relaxing before finishing the last of the moving that evening. So she lied to me, and she actually could have brought it by yesterday before 12:00 if she had all that time to shop and eat out and relax. Well my sister was in labor today having her baby and I'm watching her other two little ones, but I was planning to leave soon with them so I could go see my new little nephew, so I text her asking when she'd be bringing it by. She responded, "We are busy packing so I'm paying my friend to watch her this week so it's not an issue". Being a smart alec again like she has been lately. I've been nothing but nice and respectful and professional with her all this time, and given her no reason to be lying and a smart alec over everything, so I don't know what her problem is. I am so ready to just term her. But I love her daughter. She's such a sweet girl, and I love having her. And she's my main income, not that i'm thinking about that as much as just not wanting to lose dcg because of how much I enjoy having her. But her mom has been dishonest in other areas besides this, extremely controlling, and pretty much walking all over me. Mostly in the last couple weeks (I have no idea why. I've wracked my brain trying to figure it out). Anyway, I'm definitely going to implement some more strict policies like paying regardless of attendance and late payment fees, which will probably result in her terming regardless. But in your opinion should I term now, or try with the new policies first? I hate to lose dcg : (

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I would term and be done with her. There's no sense in her being like this or u stressing yourself out over it. I would write a letter of termination and enclose a bill with the amount owed and I would also include late fees as well. Sorry ur having to go through this!!!

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Does she end up paying you at all? Doesn't sound like you're making much money with her and if she's your biggest income? Guess either I read it too quickly or I'm not 'getting something'. Personally, I'd give her 2 week notice and be done. She's terribly unreliable and if you're doing this for income at all, you'd be better off finding families who would appreciate and need care. IMO she's using you. And yes, definitely rewrite your contract to include 52 weeks of payment regardless of attendance.

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Ummm, term her! I agree with josie. How is she your biggest source of income if she randomly decides not to bring her and you get nothing? Did I misread that too?
"Dcm, I have decided to end our childcare arrangement due to lack of attendanc effective immediately."
Find someone who needs childcare and will use it and make a firm contract that requires payment regardless of attendence! We can love the kids all we want, but I do this to get paid, so if that is not happening, then it is time to move on!

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Oh, and she has been walking all over you because you let her. Time to change that! Hopefully her friend is available all the time, because otherwise, she will find that other daycare are not so tolerant! Stick up for yourself, because no one else will!

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I would term immediately. This dcm is totally disrespecting you and your business. Regardless how much I like a child, I will term if parents are disrespectful and unable to comply with my policies because ultimately they are the ones I signed a contract with and are in control of payments and following my policies.

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I'm sorry, today has been a very long and crazy day. My sister gave birth and I was up half the night at their house so she could go to the hospital while I stayed with their kids who were sleeping, turns out it was false labor so I came home for about three hours to sleep before she called me back over actually in labor that time. And it's been non stop all day, so needless to say I'm lacking sleep and couldn't think straight. She had been paying before she brought her each week. I was firm on that immediately that she pay before she attends or she doesn't come. When she was first supposed to start is when she'd just not show up. But once she actually started she'd bring her on the days she was scheduled. But she's been choosing to just bring the money by whenever it suits her on Fridays which forced me to be at home if I wanted to get paid and last week she didn't pay until she brought her on the first day of attendance that week (which was a wednesday), and that's probably only because I wouldn't take her if she didn't have money in hand at drop off. It's just lately that it's gotten so bad. Out of no where she just seems to have taken to getting a huge satisfaction out of being a pain. And then wording things as if I'm the one being difficult. I think you're all right. Enough is enough. It's not worth it. I'm just getting started in a new town after just moving here in June, so it's been so hard to get any children in. No waiting list of course and no one showing any interest at the moment. So if I term her I pretty much don't have anyone left to speak of. Just drop ins. And one of those I may have to term due to the dcg not adjusting very well since it's such a sporadic schedule. I'm a stay at home wife, so this was just helping bring in a little side money (my husband brings in the actual income), and giving me a chance to do what I love: work with young children. I missed it so much while I was moving and getting settled and couldn't wait to get started again.

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I would actually give her another chance, but on your terms this time. The issue is definitely your policy of letting her pay when she can, for days that she feels like bringing dcg. I would give up on the Friday payments and make Mondays pay day (much simpler for me, maybe not for everyone). If mom doesn't bring money, she can't leave dcg. I have enforced this, and it only takes once, trust me. Form a new contract, keep it very simple, and make very clear these terms:


1. Weekly tuition of $______ is required to be enrolled at ______ daycare.

2. Tuition is due regardless of attendance. Absences will not be credited.

3. Payment is due at drop off every Monday morning.

4. If payment is not made for the week, child may not attend until the account is brought current, along with any applicable late fees.

5. If the child will not be in attendance that day, it is the parent's responsibility to bring the payment by noon.

6. If payment is not received by noon on Monday, a $10 late fee will be added for each day late.



Write a new contract, explain the terms to dcm, and let her decide if she'll be playing by the rules from now on. There will be no "my friend is watching her so I don't have to pay you." If she won't sign, terminate her existing contract. But from this point on, any future clients need to know and agree to your policies before they start.

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Stricter policies aren’t going to work. Your history dictates that when you make a policy a parent can use words to get out of following them. DCM disrespects you because you allow it.

The great news is you have options:

1. Watch the DCG for free in accordance with you loving her so much.

2. Text the mother that you’ll no longer be available to provide childcare services for her. She’ll ask why. I’d answer your payment policies don’t seem to be a right fit for her needs. And don’t respond after that tidbit.

3. Continue to remain DCM’s doormat and sit around waiting for payment.

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this


You can't term her for your short comings. You are only as strong as your handbook and you have to enforce it. Give yourself and her one more chance and then end it if it doesn't work out.

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sorry to pick on you but you are NOT being professional at all. professionals have rules and professionals get paid on time. If I don't pay my lawyer does he just take my case because he loves the law so much? hells no. He is providing a service, like you are. Don't get emotionally involved. what if there was a child out there that you loved just as much and also had parents that respected you and paid on time? That is what you are looking for and that is what you deserve but if you keep fooling around with this loser you will never get that child. This mom doesn't deserve you. she really doesn't. BUT you have to see that. You need to respect yourself first

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I agree rewrite your contract NOW! And then have her sign it and stick to it yourself. She may "be your main income", but is she really? If she is picking and choosing if and when she pays you she really isn't good income at all. Good income is steady income. Honestly I would term and start over. You don't need her issues! Remember that she can't make her problems your problems if you don't let her!

Ok reread that and it sounds harsh. I don't mean it to really, just hoping you will do what I have been working so hard to do and that is grow a backbone. It isn't an easy thing to grow, but these ladies have helped me a ton.

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Thank you for the input. I really appreciate it. Just so there is no confusion, I do not and have not watched dcg for free ever. At least in that area I have been strict. "No pay, no stay" as I've heard at least one provider on here say.
This lady is intimidating, so I have to really gather my courage to stand up to her, and your input on it's my own fault and all are actually helping me to gather more courage toward her because it IS my business after all (like some of you have said) and I am providing HER a service, not the other way around. If she doesn't like it, she can leave. Because if she's not going to respect me and my business, I'll have to term her anyway, as it's now obvious to see.

I am still not positive what I'm going to do, as it has been a crazy weekend and I've had hardly any time to think on it, but IF I were to decide to give it one more chance, when would you tell dcm to pay by for next week when she says she's bringing her back? It's supposed to be paid on her last day of attendance each week now, but since she decided not to bring her this week, she can't exactly bring it on her last day of attendance. She also has a varying schedule, so I can't go by when her last day is normally. This week her last day of attendance would have been Thursday if she hadn't decided to have her friend watch her instead.

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I don't think there is any confusion on you watching her free, but the confusion arises from you stating she is your largest income sourse, when she has the option to NOT stay and NOT pay. That is not reliable income, because she will use her friend (who she probably pays less or not at all), versus paying you regularly. I would switch to a Monday payment, since then you don't have to wait around on friday to get paid and end up having her call and say she won't be coming anyway. She should let you know by friday/sat. and have payment in hand at drop off on monday or whenever her first day is. Ultimately, you set the rules of your business, so do what is best for you and NEVER do it for love of another person's child. They can and will use that against you and it is not in our best interest to make money that way. If we all made money off of love, I would be a millionaire, but that is not the way it works sadly If you really don't care if she picks and chooses what weeks she comes or does not, then just have her pay on the first day of drop off and enjoy your weeks off when she lets her friend do it instead of you. If you want a steady income and plan to take mroe kids, I would set your boundaries now and let her decide if they work for her or not (be prepared that they won't, if you are looking for payment regardless of attendence). Otherwise, you can't be too upset with her if you let her decide the terms pick and choose what weeks she comes or does not come and since she is paying prior to you watching on the weeks she does come, then I am not quite sure what you are upset about. Eliminating friday payment will mean you don't have to wait around for her, but you will never have consistent income if she gets to decide on when she comes (and pays) or doesn't come (and doesn't pay).

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I'd put all my efforts into advertising and signing up more clients.
This mom knows you don't have clients and is using this to her benefit.
I don't think she is going to abide your contact now, unless she has some incentive. She may find that incentive when she sees she isn't the top dog in your daycare anymore, with other clients signing on, and that's when I'd turn the tables by enforcing your policies. That is....if you want to go that road, with keeping them as clients.

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I am confused by the fact that she has the option to not bring the child to you for care. How does this work? Are you offering a drop in type of service?

I think for your drop in arrangement you can't really get her to pay you until you see her again. In this situation I would require payment for the day at the beginning of the day each and every day. So she drops DCG off with a check for that day and the next and so on. I would bill her on a daily basis before care occurs. She has a varying schedule and seems to decide on a whim when she needs care so there is absolutely no way you can have scheduled payments.

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"You're so lucky to have such an awesome friend. I'll see you by non on Friday with payment." Then do not text back.
If your agreement is Friday at noon, then Friday at noon it is. Not Friday at noon if she doesn't have someone else.

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Dcm gives me her schedule for a month at a time. It's always 2 days or more each week. But I know for a month at a time which days I'll have her each week. That way I know when to plan on having her and how much to charge for the next week. My mistake is in not having a policy for charging regardless of attendance once I have her schedule and not having a late payment fee. Before her I had really good parents (where I lived before) and didn't need a late payment policy. Now I know it's time to add that.

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I'd put her on drop in status.

I would say she needs to call THE morning she needs care to check on your availability.

If you have space for the DCG then DCM needs to bring CASH upon drop off or no services will be provided.



I would not allow her to "schedule" anything in advance.

Heck, even a dentist/doctor office will terminate services if you cancel or no show too many appointments

I would not consider her an enrolled full time or part time daycare family nd would consider her ONLY as a drop in.

Pay ON the day of care and NO ability to schedule in advance.

Those are your two biggest issues with her so take that away from her.

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I agree with this. But otherwise I would having her pay based on her scheduled attendance regardless. The first time she tried to not do that she would go to drop in. And my drop in rates are about double the scheduled rate.

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IMHO, this parent is waaaaaay beyond the "first time" she didn't follow through with payment.

Also, even if OP charged her for all time scheduled, she'd probably still have the same issues since getting the parent to actually come over and pay IS the issue.

If she was drop in only then she would have to pay cash AT drop off or not get services. That way OP wont have to sit around and wait for payment and she wont be tied to this parent's crazy payment/follow through habits any more than she needs to be.

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I see your point. I guess I was thinking along the lines of offering her a last chance choice. Sometimes I believe in letting people feel "in control" of choices. But since I don't know this DCM, I can't say which way I would go. That would be IF I even wanted to deal with giving her a last ditch choice of course. But I probably give people to many chances anyway.

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I would unfortunately have to term the child immediately.

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I was also thinking drop in status, but if you are anything like me I have to know things in advance.

I would require her to give you a schedule by every thursday and payment required every Friday for the following week no matter what.

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