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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Narrating his world
Luna 05:42 AM 11-12-2012
I have a DCB who talks about everything he is doing as he does it. He also talks about what other children are doing and what I'm doing. This means he is talking constantly and it is wearing on my nerves. I totally understand it is beneficial to talk to children about what they are doing, what is happening, what they are looking at etc.
I understand this has contributed to this boy's exceptional vocabulary and comprehension. But please. I'm feeling like I want to discourage the nonstop narrating of his day. "I'm taking off my shoes. I'm putting them on the mat. I'm taking off my coat and hanging it up. You're making lunch. You're taking the carrots out of the fridge and washing them. You're getting the knife and cutting the carrots.""Here comes the garbage truck. The garbage man is getting off the truck and picking up the garbage..." If there's nothing happening at the moment he tells me what happened earlier or what is about to happen.
I feel guilty about wanting to tell him to just give it a rest, but honestly, it is exhausting. And he has a younger brother who is just becoming verbal and hooooooo boy...two of them.
Somebody please tell me it's okay to gently discourage this
I understand this has contributed to this boy's exceptional vocabulary and comprehension. But please. I'm feeling like I want to discourage the nonstop narrating of his day. "I'm taking off my shoes. I'm putting them on the mat. I'm taking off my coat and hanging it up. You're making lunch. You're taking the carrots out of the fridge and washing them. You're getting the knife and cutting the carrots.""Here comes the garbage truck. The garbage man is getting off the truck and picking up the garbage..." If there's nothing happening at the moment he tells me what happened earlier or what is about to happen.
I feel guilty about wanting to tell him to just give it a rest, but honestly, it is exhausting. And he has a younger brother who is just becoming verbal and hooooooo boy...two of them.
Somebody please tell me it's okay to gently discourage this
SilverSabre25 05:53 AM 11-12-2012
It's okay to gently discourage it 
If he doesn't respond to gentle, it's even okay to firmly discourage it.
"DCB, you don't need to talk constantly. Go play."
"DCB, please keep those observations inside your head."
"DCB! It is rude to talk constantly! Let others have a chance!"
"DCB, silence is nice sometimes, how about you keep some of those thoughts to yourself, okay?"
If he doesn't respond to gentle, it's even okay to firmly discourage it. "DCB, you don't need to talk constantly. Go play."
"DCB, please keep those observations inside your head."
"DCB! It is rude to talk constantly! Let others have a chance!"
"DCB, silence is nice sometimes, how about you keep some of those thoughts to yourself, okay?"
phoenix 06:42 AM 11-12-2012
Earplugs!!!!!! 
Luna 06:46 AM 11-12-2012
Originally Posted by phoenix:
Earplugs!!!!!!
Don't think it hasn't crossed my mind Earplugs!!!!!!
EntropyControlSpecialist 08:49 AM 11-12-2012
I'd have him whisper it to himself if he must do it. What special child.
dave4him 09:59 AM 11-12-2012
Future writer
harperluu 10:33 AM 11-12-2012
Originally Posted by Luna:
I have a DCB who talks about everything he is doing as he does it. He also talks about what other children are doing and what I'm doing. This means he is talking constantly and it is wearing on my nerves. I totally understand it is beneficial to talk to children about what they are doing, what is happening, what they are looking at etc.
I understand this has contributed to this boy's exceptional vocabulary and comprehension. But please. I'm feeling like I want to discourage the nonstop narrating of his day. "I'm taking off my shoes. I'm putting them on the mat. I'm taking off my coat and hanging it up. You're making lunch. You're taking the carrots out of the fridge and washing them. You're getting the knife and cutting the carrots.""Here comes the garbage truck. The garbage man is getting off the truck and picking up the garbage..." If there's nothing happening at the moment he tells me what happened earlier or what is about to happen.
I feel guilty about wanting to tell him to just give it a rest, but honestly, it is exhausting. And he has a younger brother who is just becoming verbal and hooooooo boy...two of them.
Somebody please tell me it's okay to gently discourage this
My oldest dd (now in college) and my youngest dd (3 years) are exactly like this. It can be exhausting. I have a DCB who talks about everything he is doing as he does it. He also talks about what other children are doing and what I'm doing. This means he is talking constantly and it is wearing on my nerves. I totally understand it is beneficial to talk to children about what they are doing, what is happening, what they are looking at etc.
I understand this has contributed to this boy's exceptional vocabulary and comprehension. But please. I'm feeling like I want to discourage the nonstop narrating of his day. "I'm taking off my shoes. I'm putting them on the mat. I'm taking off my coat and hanging it up. You're making lunch. You're taking the carrots out of the fridge and washing them. You're getting the knife and cutting the carrots.""Here comes the garbage truck. The garbage man is getting off the truck and picking up the garbage..." If there's nothing happening at the moment he tells me what happened earlier or what is about to happen.
I feel guilty about wanting to tell him to just give it a rest, but honestly, it is exhausting. And he has a younger brother who is just becoming verbal and hooooooo boy...two of them.
Somebody please tell me it's okay to gently discourage this
Curbing socially unexceptable behavior is okay. Constant talking is not socially acceptable. Require times of silence, such as quiet reading time. Look for activities that absorb his concentration, where he doesn't do it as much. When my oldest was working on art, she barely ever spoke.
When I am reading to the group, I require the preschoolers to sit quietly and listen. This is a good time to practice quiet time. Some children just like to talk to adults. I will redirect a child like this to go share their story or statement with a friend.
When a child asks me to do something when I am preparing lunch, feeding a baby, changing a diaper I will say, "My hands are busy, [an older child] may be able to help you put that dress on your baby or you will have to wait until my hands are free." You could use this technique by saying "My ears are busy listening to..."
Needless to say, my oldest daughter was diagnosed with ADHD inattentive type when she was in the 10th grade. We always just assumed that was just the way she was, chatty. But we could see her struggle as her school work got more challenging, and hyperfocusing on projects to the detriment of other tasks and activities. Now, as an adult if she hasn't taken her medication she talks incessantly, rapid-fire and often without focus or direction. She talks in circles.
I'm not suggesting this dcb has ADHD. Just sharing my experience with this type of behavior.
Unregistered 10:38 AM 11-12-2012
That is the downside of narrating every action to a young child: they think it's what people normaly do when they are preforming a task- narrate everything. This kinda seems like it's his way of bragging or a way to get praise for his actions because maybe his parents keep praising him when he discribes his actions by saying "Oh he's so smart" but when he gets older this may be a problem. LOL I can imagine him in high school saying: "I am disecting the frog!" (in sceince class); "I am filling in the answer "C" bubble!" (during a test); "I am peeing in the urinal!" (in the bathroom)... lol I'll stop there.
Maybe make a game about doing things silently, challenge him (or even the other kids) to go a whole day without discribing your actions just doing it or tell them this is "keep a secret day" today we are not going to tell people what we are doing at the point of time unless they ask "what's your secret?". Or maybe you can see if you find a children's book about "inner pride" or the warnings about "boasting/bragging" or just teach all the kids about what bragging is how and why its important that we don't brag but keep our pride to ourselves to give others a chance to shine because it's only important what you think of yourself. And your teaching them knew vocabulary words! or use his skills to help him make a book so he can still get the creative outlet.
Maybe if it is a big issue just say to the parents "DCB is so smart, but I have notice that he tends to describe his actions alot. I think he may be using this as a way to get praise- but he eventually needs to learn how to preform small tasks without seeking praise from others" or DCB is so smart but I'm a little concerned because he discribes even the smallest tasks and observations. Now he is starting to distrupt other children who are trying to talk to me one-on-one to discribe to me what we are doing" (IDK if this is true or not but I can imagine this can possibly happen) or even just have a phone conference with this parent (and maybe the other parents so not to single out) about some concerns you have about the subject or just ask if she has any concerns (maybe it bugs her too and she just doesn't know what to do)
Maybe make a game about doing things silently, challenge him (or even the other kids) to go a whole day without discribing your actions just doing it or tell them this is "keep a secret day" today we are not going to tell people what we are doing at the point of time unless they ask "what's your secret?". Or maybe you can see if you find a children's book about "inner pride" or the warnings about "boasting/bragging" or just teach all the kids about what bragging is how and why its important that we don't brag but keep our pride to ourselves to give others a chance to shine because it's only important what you think of yourself. And your teaching them knew vocabulary words! or use his skills to help him make a book so he can still get the creative outlet.
Maybe if it is a big issue just say to the parents "DCB is so smart, but I have notice that he tends to describe his actions alot. I think he may be using this as a way to get praise- but he eventually needs to learn how to preform small tasks without seeking praise from others" or DCB is so smart but I'm a little concerned because he discribes even the smallest tasks and observations. Now he is starting to distrupt other children who are trying to talk to me one-on-one to discribe to me what we are doing" (IDK if this is true or not but I can imagine this can possibly happen) or even just have a phone conference with this parent (and maybe the other parents so not to single out) about some concerns you have about the subject or just ask if she has any concerns (maybe it bugs her too and she just doesn't know what to do)
Luna 03:54 PM 11-12-2012
Thanks for the responses, it is very helpful to know I'm not being mean lol! I have talked to mom about it in the past and she sort of rolls her eyes and says yes, he does a play by play of his whole day. In other words, she is aware but it doesn't bother her too much. I will go ahead and let him know I don't need to hear all the details and encourage him to keep some of his thoughts to himself.
Countrygal 04:06 AM 11-13-2012
Originally Posted by harperluu:
My oldest dd (now in college) and my youngest dd (3 years) are exactly like this. It can be exhausting.
Curbing socially unexceptable behavior is okay. Constant talking is not socially acceptable. Require times of silence, such as quiet reading time. Look for activities that absorb his concentration, where he doesn't do it as much. When my oldest was working on art, she barely ever spoke.
When I am reading to the group, I require the preschoolers to sit quietly and listen. This is a good time to practice quiet time. Some children just like to talk to adults. I will redirect a child like this to go share their story or statement with a friend.
When a child asks me to do something when I am preparing lunch, feeding a baby, changing a diaper I will say, "My hands are busy, [an older child] may be able to help you put that dress on your baby or you will have to wait until my hands are free." You could use this technique by saying "My ears are busy listening to..."
Needless to say, my oldest daughter was diagnosed with ADHD inattentive type when she was in the 10th grade. We always just assumed that was just the way she was, chatty. But we could see her struggle as her school work got more challenging, and hyperfocusing on projects to the detriment of other tasks and activities. Now, as an adult if she hasn't taken her medication she talks incessantly, rapid-fire and often without focus or direction. She talks in circles.
I'm not suggesting this dcb has ADHD. Just sharing my experience with this type of behavior.
Yes, this. My dgs is just like this as well, and this is how I handle it, for the most part.My oldest dd (now in college) and my youngest dd (3 years) are exactly like this. It can be exhausting.
Curbing socially unexceptable behavior is okay. Constant talking is not socially acceptable. Require times of silence, such as quiet reading time. Look for activities that absorb his concentration, where he doesn't do it as much. When my oldest was working on art, she barely ever spoke.
When I am reading to the group, I require the preschoolers to sit quietly and listen. This is a good time to practice quiet time. Some children just like to talk to adults. I will redirect a child like this to go share their story or statement with a friend.
When a child asks me to do something when I am preparing lunch, feeding a baby, changing a diaper I will say, "My hands are busy, [an older child] may be able to help you put that dress on your baby or you will have to wait until my hands are free." You could use this technique by saying "My ears are busy listening to..."
Needless to say, my oldest daughter was diagnosed with ADHD inattentive type when she was in the 10th grade. We always just assumed that was just the way she was, chatty. But we could see her struggle as her school work got more challenging, and hyperfocusing on projects to the detriment of other tasks and activities. Now, as an adult if she hasn't taken her medication she talks incessantly, rapid-fire and often without focus or direction. She talks in circles.
I'm not suggesting this dcb has ADHD. Just sharing my experience with this type of behavior.