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mrsnj 02:09 PM 07-11-2013
I require three alternate picks up in case of an emergency. Sometimes my daycare parents will call and say that someone from that list is picking up which is fine. BUT I have one parent who doesn't notify me. All of a sudden I see someone standing on my front step telling me they are picking up. I have no clue about it. The mom has gotten into a habit of not telling me. I don't know if I should let them go. TECH they are on the emergency pick up but it isn't an emergency. I haven't called them. It is driving me nuts! I cannot understand why she cannot notify me of a pick up change!! How do you handle this?? Do you allow them to pick up if they are on the emergency list or do you require parents to notify no matter what?
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littlemissmuffet 02:36 PM 07-11-2013
I don't let a kid leave with anyone but a parent unless I have been informed by the parent beforehand. If they haven't informed me, I will call and make sure it's ok the kid leaves with the alternate pick up and I remind the parent to let me know in advance next time.
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Heidi 02:44 PM 07-11-2013
Originally Posted by littlemissmuffet:
I don't let a kid leave with anyone but a parent unless I have been informed by the parent beforehand. If they haven't informed me, I will call and make sure it's ok the kid leaves with the alternate pick up and I remind the parent to let me know in advance next time.


non negotiable! Also, if I can't reach the parent, they are not leaving with anyone else, even on the approved list.

I don't know how I'd handle it if a back up came claiming the parent is in the emergency room. I guess, being in a rural area, I would call the emergency room, explain the situation, and hope they'll say yes or no. No...I'd just drive there with the kid, probably.
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MarinaVanessa 02:54 PM 07-11-2013
Originally Posted by Heidi:


non negotiable! Also, if I can't reach the parent, they are not leaving with anyone else, even on the approved list.
Same here. I don't care if they are on the emergency list or are authorized to pick the child up ... if it is not an emergency and I did not call them the child is NOT leaving my DC without me reaching the parent first. If this was a consistent issue I would have the person who arrived to my DC call the parent with their phone and then once they got a hold of the parent they could hand the phone to me and I would then ask the parent if this was ok ...

"Ok thanks ... and you know Susan, to prevent this whole inconvenience to you, me and your friend/relative please tell me in advance when and who is going to pick up little Johnny if it won't be you. Just as a caution ... if you are unreachable by phone to confirm pick up then I will not allow Johnny to leave. If this makes it so that he's past his pick-up time then you will incur late fees. Next time just avoid this by communicating with me in advance. Thank you."

I would make the whole ordeal as less inconvenient for me as possible and as inconvenient for the parent as possible. I won't spend my time on hold or on the phone attempting to contact the parent. Sounds harsh but for me I make it known that one of the most important things for me in this parent/provider relationship is communication, without it ... things won't work out.
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Familycare71 02:57 PM 07-11-2013
Originally Posted by littlemissmuffet:
I don't let a kid leave with anyone but a parent unless I have been informed by the parent beforehand. If they haven't informed me, I will call and make sure it's ok the kid leaves with the alternate pick up and I remind the parent to let me know in advance next time.
I do exactly this...
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MyAngels 02:59 PM 07-11-2013
Originally Posted by littlemissmuffet:
I don't let a kid leave with anyone but a parent unless I have been informed by the parent beforehand. If they haven't informed me, I will call and make sure it's ok the kid leaves with the alternate pick up and I remind the parent to let me know in advance next time.
I normally do this, but I do have one family now that has 4 other approved people for pick up and I don't always know in advance who is coming that day. They stick to a consistent schedule though and the mom has given her blanket permission for any of them to pick up so I allow it in this case.
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Blackcat31 03:08 PM 07-11-2013
Originally Posted by littlemissmuffet:
I don't let a kid leave with anyone but a parent unless I have been informed by the parent beforehand. If they haven't informed me, I will call and make sure it's ok the kid leaves with the alternate pick up and I remind the parent to let me know in advance next time.
Same here.

This is discussed in GREAT detail during the interview. I MUST speak directly to mom or dad. I don't accept texts or e-mails about alternate pick ups either. I require a parent to actually call and tell me themselves.

I've had a lot of PO'ed grand parents but I all honesty, you just can't be too overly cautious now days.
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littlemissmuffet 03:15 PM 07-11-2013
Originally Posted by MyAngels:
I normally do this, but I do have one family now that has 4 other approved people for pick up and I don't always know in advance who is coming that day. They stick to a consistent schedule though and the mom has given her blanket permission for any of them to pick up so I allow it in this case.
I would allow this too as long as I had something very specific in writing, naming the 4 approved people along with a signature from the mom.
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Starburst 07:12 PM 07-11-2013
I wouldn't let them leave with the child without a verbal notification from the legal guardians (unless they had a regular schedule were that person would pick the child up); even if they are on the contact list. Because if they just decided on a whim to pick up a child without the parent knowing (especially a non-custodial aunt/uncle/grandparent/cousin/friend) it could cause a lot of confusion and issues not only within the family but also between you and the parents. That reminds me of that story a few months ago about the little boy who spent the night in his daycare's van because his parents thought their relatives picked him up and the relatives thought the parents picked him up and the driver didn't do a final check before leaving the van.

Also (depending on your state laws) make sure the person picking up is at least 18, because if you release them to a minor and something happens you could be held responsible.

At my school's CDC program they always ID any non-guardian pick ups and make sure they have the appropriate car seats; the have turned pick up contacts way for not having appropriate seats.

Plus, in most cases children are abducted by someone they know and trust. http://kidshealth.org/parent/firstai...bductions.html
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Play Care 04:49 AM 07-12-2013
My thought is that perhaps the parents are confused and think that if the person is on the emergency contact/pick up list then they are also on the list of those routinely approved to do regular pick ups. I have two different forms for those things - and sometimes people on the emergency contact list are not the same as those approved for regular picks ups. I would make sure to clarify that for mom, and let then let her know you need to know prior to pick up who is coming for the child (if it's not the parents) as you are not supposed to release the child otherwise per regs/law.
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Play Care 04:55 AM 07-12-2013
Originally Posted by Starburst:
I wouldn't let them leave with the child without a verbal notification from the legal guardians (unless they had a regular schedule were that person would pick the child up); even if they are on the contact list. Because if they just decided on a whim to pick up a child without the parent knowing (especially a non-custodial aunt/uncle/grandparent/cousin/friend) it could cause a lot of confusion and issues not only within the family but also between you and the parents. Also (depending on your state laws) make sure the person picking up is at least 18, because if you release them to a minor and something happens you could be held responsible.

At my school's CDC program they always ID any non-guardian pick ups and make sure they have the appropriate car seats; the have turned pick up contacts way for not having appropriate seats.

Plus, in most cases children are abducted by someone they know and trust. http://kidshealth.org/parent/firstai...bductions.html
The problem is that if the parents have given their written approval that Grandma or Auntie has permission to pick up, we legally *have* to release the child. The only "out" I might have is if the person seemed under the influence of something (my contract says that I won't release a child to someone (non parent) who appears to be under the influence. I felt so bad for the child care that had the two boys picked up by grandma and then she killed them and herself...The grandma had a history of mental health issues and the *parents* never should have put her on the pick up list. The day care had no choice but to release them. The director even said she had talked to the grandma at pick up and she seemed totally fine/with it - and her hands were tied anyway as she was on the pick up list
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Heidi 05:16 AM 07-12-2013
Originally Posted by Play Care:
The problem is that if the parents have given their written approval that Grandma or Auntie has permission to pick up, we legally *have* to release the child. The only "out" I might have is if the person seemed under the influence of something (my contract says that I won't release a child to someone (non parent) who appears to be under the influence. I felt so bad for the child care that had the two boys picked up by grandma and then she killed them and herself...The grandma had a history of mental health issues and the *parents* never should have put her on the pick up list. The day care had no choice but to release them. The director even said she had talked to the grandma at pick up and she seemed totally fine/with it - and her hands were tied anyway as she was on the pick up list
Is this a reg. in your state or a federal law that I'm not aware of?

Aside from the non-custodial parent thing (which I think everyone gets), I do not HAVE to give the child to anyone, even an approved pick-up. I can't see any reason that I wouldn't, as long as I was told by the parent to expect them or it was a regular thing (like Aunt Sue always picks up on Fridays). But, if I said no, they'd have to call the police in to make me do it.

In the above case, I guess it doesn't matter if the director's hands were tied anyway. She said herself grandma seemed fine, so she probably wouldn't have said "no, you can't have the kids". Putting her on the list in the first place was the parent's choice. How sad for everyone involved.
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Moppetland 05:56 AM 07-12-2013
That happened to me once with one parent who had it bad. I just let the person wait while I called the parent. If that parent didn't pick up then I wouldn't have let the child leave with the pick-up person. He was on the list, yeah, but she didn't notify me. After that, she profusely apologized and thanked me for being vigilant on my policy and notified me from that day forward.
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Blackcat31 06:07 AM 07-12-2013
Originally Posted by Play Care:
The problem is that if the parents have given their written approval that Grandma or Auntie has permission to pick up, we legally *have* to release the child. The only "out" I might have is if the person seemed under the influence of something (my contract says that I won't release a child to someone (non parent) who appears to be under the influence. I felt so bad for the child care that had the two boys picked up by grandma and then she killed them and herself...The grandma had a history of mental health issues and the *parents* never should have put her on the pick up list. The day care had no choice but to release them. The director even said she had talked to the grandma at pick up and she seemed totally fine/with it - and her hands were tied anyway as she was on the pick up list
Originally Posted by Heidi:
Is this a reg. in your state or a federal law that I'm not aware of?

Aside from the non-custodial parent thing (which I think everyone gets), I do not HAVE to give the child to anyone, even an approved pick-up. I can't see any reason that I wouldn't, as long as I was told by the parent to expect them or it was a regular thing (like Aunt Sue always picks up on Fridays). But, if I said no, they'd have to call the police in to make me do it.

In the above case, I guess it doesn't matter if the director's hands were tied anyway. She said herself grandma seemed fine, so she probably wouldn't have said "no, you can't have the kids". Putting her on the list in the first place was the parent's choice. How sad for everyone involved.
I agree.... I am NOT required to release any child to anyone on the emergency contact list. The emergency contact list is ONLY for when the parent cannot be reached and the child must be picked up in the case of an emergency.

I make sure this subject is covered during the interview. I let parents know my definition of emergency contacts and approved pick up people.

I also have a rule that I must speak DIRECTLY to the custodial parent before allowing any child to leave with anyone, even if they ARE on the emergency contact list.

With the changes in custody, family drama and confusing family relationships now days, you really cant be too careful/safe and I make sure parents know this is where I am coming from and why I have this policy.
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Cradle2crayons 06:23 AM 07-12-2013
Originally Posted by mrsnj:
I require three alternate picks up in case of an emergency. Sometimes my daycare parents will call and say that someone from that list is picking up which is fine. BUT I have one parent who doesn't notify me. All of a sudden I see someone standing on my front step telling me they are picking up. I have no clue about it. The mom has gotten into a habit of not telling me. I don't know if I should let them go. TECH they are on the emergency pick up but it isn't an emergency. I haven't called them. It is driving me nuts! I cannot understand why she cannot notify me of a pick up change!! How do you handle this?? Do you allow them to pick up if they are on the emergency list or do you require parents to notify no matter what?
Like the others, I have an EMERGENCY contact list and also an APPROVED PICKUP list.

The approved pickup is completely different. I let them know at interview what the difference is. I also let them know that I need a verbal at drop off or a phone call or handwritten authorization at drop off in order to release the child.

I also have the requirements that I won't release without approved car seats or if the pick up is impaired.

I think you need to make separate lists and explain to mom from now on, without verbal or written authorization PRIOR ATO THE OTHER PERSON SHOWING UP, you will not call and track her down or release the child to the other person.

I refuse to try to track down a parent at pick up time for permission.
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mrsnj 08:00 AM 07-12-2013
So frustrating. Its the same parent that I have issues with all the time for this that and another. 25 yrs and never had a problem. Just with this one. So my way of doing it must click cause the others don't have issues or never have. This mom is my headache. My fav is when I get a text 30 min after they were picked up that the person was coming. I was closed by then. She is sooooooooooo frustrating! The dad? No problem (divorced). The mom...always. I am always having to buckle down or reset rules for her cause she is always looking for some easy way out loop hole!

I think I simply have to tell her.....no notification.....no pick up. I agree. I am not going to hunt her down each time. The person picking can go out and do it. This gets old really quick.

Thanks for the info!!!
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Play Care 10:07 AM 07-12-2013
Originally Posted by Heidi:
Is this a reg. in your state or a federal law that I'm not aware of?

Aside from the non-custodial parent thing (which I think everyone gets), I do not HAVE to give the child to anyone, even an approved pick-up. I can't see any reason that I wouldn't, as long as I was told by the parent to expect them or it was a regular thing (like Aunt Sue always picks up on Fridays). But, if I said no, they'd have to call the police in to make me do it.

In the above case, I guess it doesn't matter if the director's hands were tied anyway. She said herself grandma seemed fine, so she probably wouldn't have said "no, you can't have the kids". Putting her on the list in the first place was the parent's choice. How sad for everyone involved.
I'll have to check with licensing, but I fairly sure the reg that covers having to allow parents to pick up their child barring a court order, also pertains to those the parents have approved as a pick up.
To be honest, even though my contract says I won't release to anyone who appears under the influence, I'm not sure it would hold up in court if the person was approved to be a pick up (though I wouldn't care if my refusal had kept the child safe/alive) The directors hands were tied because she had to legally release the children to the grandmother because that's who the parents stipulated as a pick up person, which is what led me to believe the law covered other people designated as pick up.

But in the OP's case, the people are not on her routine pick up list and that does need to be addressed. I actually never even thought about saying to parents that their emergency contacts couldn't just come for regular pick up - even though I have two separate forms - and it's never come up.
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Heidi 10:32 AM 07-12-2013
Originally Posted by Play Care:
I'll have to check with licensing, but I fairly sure the reg that covers having to allow parents to pick up their child barring a court order, also pertains to those the parents have approved as a pick up.
To be honest, even though my contract says I won't release to anyone who appears under the influence, I'm not sure it would hold up in court if the person was approved to be a pick up (though I wouldn't care if my refusal had kept the child safe/alive) The directors hands were tied because she had to legally release the children to the grandmother because that's who the parents stipulated as a pick up person, which is what led me to believe the law covered other people designated as pick up.

But in the OP's case, the people are not on her routine pick up list and that does need to be addressed. I actually never even thought about saying to parents that their emergency contacts couldn't just come for regular pick up - even though I have two separate forms - and it's never come up.
Definitely not in WI's regs! They only address non-custodial parents.

Even then, I'd stall, ask for ID and a birth certificate (assuming I'd never met the parent), and call the Sheriff and let them sort it out. They CANNOT arrest me for keeping a child safe. That'd be ridiculous. Besides, if the officer said let the parent take the child, fine.

As for other's on the list, I highly doubt anyone's grandma is going to take me to civil court and win because I didn't give her a kid without permission. I've never had it happen that a parent hasn't told me, that I can remember. I did have parents years ago where 2 or 3 different family members picked up, and I sometimes didn't know who'd show up, but it was so regular. Dad was a professional poker player and traveled, mom was a med student.
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Play Care 10:43 AM 07-12-2013
Originally Posted by Heidi:
Definitely not in WI's regs! They only address non-custodial parents.

Even then, I'd stall, ask for ID and a birth certificate (assuming I'd never met the parent), and call the Sheriff and let them sort it out. They CANNOT arrest me for keeping a child safe. That'd be ridiculous. Besides, if the officer said let the parent take the child, fine.

As for other's on the list, I highly doubt anyone's grandma is going to take me to civil court and win because I didn't give her a kid without permission. I've never had it happen that a parent hasn't told me, that I can remember. I did have parents years ago where 2 or 3 different family members picked up, and I sometimes didn't know who'd show up, but it was so regular. Dad was a professional poker player and traveled, mom was a med student.
I can (and do) ask for id if I don't know the person who is picking up - say mom tells me grandma is picking up but I don't know grandma.
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Heidi 10:58 AM 07-12-2013
Originally Posted by Play Care:
I can (and do) ask for id if I don't know the person who is picking up - say mom tells me grandma is picking up but I don't know grandma.
me too, unless the kid is old enough to run yelling 'GRAANDMAAAAAAAAAAAA"

IF I knew there was a custody-battle situation, and I'd never met one of the parents, I'd also ask for a birth certificate (not anticipating that). Reason 1-How do I know that you are THE John Smith that's this kids father? Reason 2-who'd bring one along? Stall stall stall....
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Unregistered 02:32 PM 06-19-2018
I know I'm breaking a cardinal rule of forums by commenting on a 5 year old thread.

I've done emergency pick-ups for a few families (babysitting clients). As someone who is doing the pick-ups, I make sure to bring my ID, confirm the appropriate pick-up time with the parents, and double check that the parents have not only alerted the daycare/school that I will be picking up the child(ren), but that they have given staff my full, legal name (I go by a nickname, so many people will say "Our babysitter, Essie Jones, will be picking up Johnny today" which may be an issue when I show up with a driver's license stating my name is "Esther Jones." (In some cases, I have been listed as an emergency contact beforehand; in other cases, it was a last-minute situation in which plans B and C fell through and a parent had to call with a new name of someone who was able to handle pick-up).

If it's my first time picking a child up from a school, I will usually arrive a few minutes early in case I need to sign anything or have my ID photocopied for their records.
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hwichlaz 06:50 PM 06-19-2018
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Same here.

This is discussed in GREAT detail during the interview. I MUST speak directly to mom or dad. I don't accept texts or e-mails about alternate pick ups either. I require a parent to actually call and tell me themselves.

I've had a lot of PO'ed grand parents but I all honesty, you just can't be too overly cautious now days.
I require a text so I have proof.
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Leigh 09:52 AM 06-20-2018
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Same here.

This is discussed in GREAT detail during the interview. I MUST speak directly to mom or dad. I don't accept texts or e-mails about alternate pick ups either. I require a parent to actually call and tell me themselves.

I've had a lot of PO'ed grand parents but I all honesty, you just can't be too overly cautious now days.
I don't blame you for wanting phone calls, but I require texts or emails so that I have a written record of who was to pick up. I require the same when meds are given at daycare-the parent must text me at the time of administration and tell me the dosage each time. I then don't have to keep a separate log.
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Blackcat31 01:22 PM 06-20-2018
Originally Posted by hwichlaz:
I require a text so I have proof.
Originally Posted by Leigh:
I don't blame you for wanting phone calls, but I require texts or emails so that I have a written record of who was to pick up. I require the same when meds are given at daycare-the parent must text me at the time of administration and tell me the dosage each time. I then don't have to keep a separate log.
That was my reply 5 years ago...

Now days, I don't really have anyone that picks up that isnt a parent.
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Leigh 12:40 PM 06-21-2018
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
That was my reply 5 years ago...

Now days, I don't really have anyone that picks up that isnt a parent.
I saw that. AFTER my reply!
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