I have a 4 mo DCG who, I believe, has thrush. Her tongue is piled up with white residue that wont wipe off, she wakes up with very dry lips, and she hasn't taken a bottle in 2 days. DCM is taking her to the Dr this morning, per my request. She dropped off big sister, and said she would text when she was on her way with little.

My question is, since baby didn't take a bottle yesterday or Monday, should I tell her she can't bring her? DCM was able to come nurse her around 1 yesterday, but baby had already been crying for over an hour at that point, I, nor my assistant, do not want to go through that again.

Thoughts?

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Although I wouldn't personally exclude for thrush alone, if baby can't eat while at daycare, they'd have to stay at home until they can. The medication should clear it up, or at least make baby feel more comfortable to eat within a day or two I would guess. I think it would be reasonable to exclude until baby can comfortably eat a bottle.

My DD had thrush as a baby, but it wasn't severe enough to prevent her from eating. Poor thing.

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I agree.... I wouldn't exclude for thrush either but I would NOT keep the child if they won't take a bottle.

If necessary have mom come early so you can try to give a bottle while she is there (out of sight of baby if necessary) and if child won't accept a bottle, then have mom keep her out. Retry the next day.

I have in my contract that any nursing children that refuse a bottle and go without eating for more than 3 hours will need to be picked up. I will NOT keep a starving, crying, upset child who NEEDS to eat.

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Makes sense to try the bottle before DCM leaves, I will do that.

BC, you have the best policies, I will have to add that in.

This baby is tiny, she's 10lbs at 4 mo, so I do worry about her not eating for that long. Hopefully she will feel better today.

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DCM just texted, it's not thrush, but a bottle strike since they were on vacation last week and didn't offer a bottle the entire time. This is so maddening, and selfish on her part.

And the baby is getting vaccines since she had an appointment on Friday anyway. I don't have anything in my current policy about coming after vaccines, so it's okay she's bringing her, but common sense says to keep your kid home after shots. What a mess.

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Do NOT let her stay until that baby takes a bottle.

IF you do, you are going to have a screaming baby on your hands.

Text mom and tell her to bring her to you hungry.
Have mom wait in another room and offer the child a bottle.

If she takes it, great! If not, don't let mom leave without her child.

NO WAY would I allow a parent to put me in that position. It is their responsibility to make sure baby can adjust to daycare....which means giving her a bottle so she continues to be used to it for you.

What they are doing is akin to neglect in my book. Parents need to do what's best for their child not what's easiest for them.

I also would not allow her to be in attendance if she is cranky from the imms. That is NOT fair to you, the baby or the other kids.

Do you allow meds?

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Mom is here doing another feeding, baby hasn't eaten since 9:30am...this is seriously abuse, my assistant is threatening to call CPS on mom.

Mom has nothing to say, no sorry, no "I don't know what to do" nothing. I'm so mad, I'm about to write up their term letter. This is ridiculous.

I do not do meds.

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Sounds like baby is simply not prepared for daycare.

I would tell mom, sorry but you do not want to be part of this. Unless you have the space to accommodate her, she can't come nurse every time the baby gets hungry and you can't continue trying to force her to take a bottle.

If I were in your shoes, I would term and just say the parent and your program are simply not a good fit.

I'm sorry you are dealing with such a sucky situation.

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What about this would warrant a call to CPS? Nursing moms often struggle with bottle strikes but perhaps she needs to try another one. I have dealt with it myself and it took a bit but eventually he took a bottle again. If baby is unreasonably upset about not nursing and refuses the bottle then mom needs to get on board with re-training on the bottle. If she's not willing to do that then you have a tough choice to make.

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Why is it abuse? You could not get baby to eat so she came and nursed It was 4 hours so she came. just keep working on the bottle it will get better again.

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In OP's defense, I am the one who used the word abuse.

In my opinion NOT addressing a child's needs (especially eating) IS akin to neglect. Which is a form of abuse.

I was NOT suggesting that anyone call CPS but I DO think that a parent that refuses to address, rectify or work on an issue that has to do with the health and well being of their child is NOT acceptable and NOT a family I would be willing to work with.

I also do NOT agree that the provider should have to be the one that "teaches" the baby to use a nipple/bottle. If a parent is going to place their infant in childcare, it is the parent's responsibility to prepare their child for care. That includes teaching the child to use a bottle.

Simply showing up to nurse when baby won't take a bottle is not a solution if it isn't something OP normally allows. It can be disruptive to some programs.

It's not something I would personally agree to. If other providers do, great but parents should have discussed this with the provider BEFORE the child's first day. Leaving the provider to figure out a solution to an issue a parent created is NOT fair or cool in my book.

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While you may have said abuse, the OP stated her assistant was threatening to call CPS. And from what I understand, this started Monday. Today is Wednesday. She took the baby to the dr when they suspected Thrush and it's just a bottle strike from more nursing and less bottles last week. She came to nurse the baby when baby wouldn't take a bottle from the provider. No where do I see neglect or abuse. If the provider isn't going to tough it out she needs to send baby home until they'll accept a bottle and as many recommend with any BF infant, prove they'll take a bottle before leaving. But she has to be willing to lose this family otherwise because it doesn't seem like mom is willing to just take a week off work and get baby on a bottle. Not to mention, babies take bottles from anyone but mom better than mom in most cases so that all seems to be convoluted and confusing for a new mom. So sticking it out and getting things on track again seems like a good idea to me rather than sending baby home until they'll take a bottle and potentially lose the family. BUT if the OP is even willing to say anything about calling CPS about this I would say that she doesn't want to keep the family anyway. I would never work with a family I truly thought was neglecting their infant. What could-would CPS do??

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Op here- The mom did come to nurse the baby on Tuesday and yesterday, but the baby had been crying for an extended amount of time before mom arrived. I did not want to call CPS, my assistant, who ran her own home daycare for 8 years, wanted to call if mom didn't show with in an hour. Mom was texting that it was a busy week at work and she was going to have to make room in her schedule to get here, she did not come as soon as we asked, she did not seemed concerned that her 4 month old baby who weighs 10 lbs was not eating.

If mom had not come to nurse baby, it would have been neglect, in my opinion. Taking terming completely out of this discussion, b/c yes, they would have been termed if she didn't show up.

Also- this is not her first baby, this is baby 2, and this is the second time I have gone through this with them. When baby started at 6 weeks, they had never given her a bottle, ever. It took me 2 weeks to get the baby taking a bottle, and it was awful for all involved. I did talk to them before she started, they just plan didn't care. Unfortunately, their older DD is 3, and 1 of 3 of my preschoolers, I don't want to lose the preschooler, but I will if this doesn't get solved soon.

They said they got her to take a bottle after 6 hours of crying last night, and she did take 2oz this morning here, so hopefully today will go smoothly.

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I just find it completely unprofessional when DCPs use CPS like that. I get what you're saying and yes it IS hard for all involved but even if she didn't come feed baby it wouldn't be neglect. She left you with means to feed the baby and the baby wouldn't eat. If you have had this same problem with the same family then it's a personal issue between you and them. They probably assumed you would do the same thing as before. If you don't have a firm policy and require that they feed the baby in front of you before leaving then that's not neglect but your lack of policy/enforcement. It really makes me sad that this family has entrusted you and your helper and you're talking about calling CPS behind her back. If I found out my DCP did that we'd put in our 2wks and be gone that day. I've been on both sides of the DC scenario and I know it's frustrating during this transition but I just don't see neglect here. As far as the baby's weight, the Ped should address those issues, not you. A 10-11lb 4 month old is still on the growth chart but in the 5th percentile. My 4th son was 8lb at birth but quickly stayed in the 5-10th percentile and still is. His brother is the opposite, always in the 85th percentile. Our Ped used to laugh that 2 brothers of the same parents, same diet, same everything can grow so differently. It's just the way they're made. If the Ped thinks baby needs more nutrients to grow wouldn't they address that and THEY report her for neglect if she didn't follow through? Have you asked about a note from the dr due to his size?

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Mom said she had fallen off the chart, not in the 5th.

I'm not sure why I would need a Dr. note for the babies size?

I do not think they are neglecting this child at home, I think she is well fed, and well rested, just a small baby.

Mom did mention that the DR. has requested the she be woken to eat every 3 hours now, so if the mom had not come to feed, and the baby went 4 or 5 hours without eating, this would have been neglectful.

The situation is much better today and baby is eating.

Just want to clarify if my assistant calls CPS, there is nothing I can do about that, she has every right to call when/if she feels the need.

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