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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Oinion please...
coolconfidentme 05:45 AM 04-10-2014
I value your opinions, so here we go. (Sorry about the length.)
DCB (almost 3) at home is impulsive, very aggressive, whines, hits DCM, breaks & throws things. He isn't as verbal as he should be & DCM said really doesn’t work with him on things. (He uses his hands at home to eat spaghetti.) DCM takes him to the kitchen, he points out what he wants to eat & she feeds him that. (She told me all of this.)
1st two days here he screamed & threw a tantrum. Now he follows the rules for the most part. His 1st Steps teacher comes here once a week, said it is night & day on his behavior. (I am a friend of the teacher btw.) She said he has learned more here in the last 4 months than the last year at home. She said she cannot get him to sit still at home because he can do what every he wants there. He is learning to talk & use utensils now.
The last 2 weeks he has been acting up here. He will try to hit, push, toy snatch, etc when he thinks I'm not looking. He knows right from wrong. I ask DCM if he is on any new meds or change in the home life. NO is her reply. She is no help. I sent him home for aggressive behavior & cannot come back for 24 hours. When he returned he was like any other DCB3. So far so good.
Fast forward. I live in a small town & learned she is now talking negative about my DC at work. Statements like her son is a good boy & NEVER acts like that at home, he minds her, maybe she should find a new DC, etc. I haven't said anything to her yet because I am on the verge of a vacation & do not want drama before I go. I have only shared this with the teacher & she wants me to keep him because DCM does nothing for his development.
As I said, I value your opinions. This is a business. I cannot not afford to have someone talk negative about my livelihood. How would handle the situation? Time will tell about DCB’s recent behavior.
DCB (almost 3) at home is impulsive, very aggressive, whines, hits DCM, breaks & throws things. He isn't as verbal as he should be & DCM said really doesn’t work with him on things. (He uses his hands at home to eat spaghetti.) DCM takes him to the kitchen, he points out what he wants to eat & she feeds him that. (She told me all of this.)
1st two days here he screamed & threw a tantrum. Now he follows the rules for the most part. His 1st Steps teacher comes here once a week, said it is night & day on his behavior. (I am a friend of the teacher btw.) She said he has learned more here in the last 4 months than the last year at home. She said she cannot get him to sit still at home because he can do what every he wants there. He is learning to talk & use utensils now.
The last 2 weeks he has been acting up here. He will try to hit, push, toy snatch, etc when he thinks I'm not looking. He knows right from wrong. I ask DCM if he is on any new meds or change in the home life. NO is her reply. She is no help. I sent him home for aggressive behavior & cannot come back for 24 hours. When he returned he was like any other DCB3. So far so good.
Fast forward. I live in a small town & learned she is now talking negative about my DC at work. Statements like her son is a good boy & NEVER acts like that at home, he minds her, maybe she should find a new DC, etc. I haven't said anything to her yet because I am on the verge of a vacation & do not want drama before I go. I have only shared this with the teacher & she wants me to keep him because DCM does nothing for his development.
As I said, I value your opinions. This is a business. I cannot not afford to have someone talk negative about my livelihood. How would handle the situation? Time will tell about DCB’s recent behavior.
EntropyControlSpecialist 05:56 AM 04-10-2014
What a bratty mom.I would confront her head on and just deal with the drama. "Sue, I heard through the grapevine that you are saying untrue things about my business. You said Sam hits you, won't speak, etc. at home to ME yet you told others that he NEVER misbehaves at home and only misbehaves here." and then I would stare.
Shell 06:21 AM 04-10-2014
Term! I know you have a good heart and want to help dcb, but I would be furious if I knew a parent was talking about me like that -reputation is too important. Let her co workers see that SHE is the problem when the next provider has issues with them, too.
MotherNature 06:27 AM 04-10-2014
Put mom on notice that you know what she's saying. I would term. If she's going to badmouth you while you're actively helping her kid, she'll still do it when you term. No difference, but do you want to be sacrificing for an ungrateful, hateful parent? i know 1st Steps loves you and his progress w/ you, but he's mom's responsibility to raise and care for, not yours. I know that sounds harsh if you like the kid, but you can't just basically raise a kid for a parent who treats you like crap.
cheerfuldom 06:29 AM 04-10-2014
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
What a bratty mom.
I would confront her head on and just deal with the drama. "Sue, I heard through the grapevine that you are saying untrue things about my business. You said Sam hits you, won't speak, etc. at home to ME yet you told others that he NEVER misbehaves at home and only misbehaves here." and then I would stare.
And follow that up with "It is my understanding that you are no longer happy with the care I provide. Is that true?" Force her to term on her own or backtrack and apologize, in which case, let her know that you wont tolerate any slander about your daycare and if it happens again, you will have to ask her to leave permanently. What a bratty mom.I would confront her head on and just deal with the drama. "Sue, I heard through the grapevine that you are saying untrue things about my business. You said Sam hits you, won't speak, etc. at home to ME yet you told others that he NEVER misbehaves at home and only misbehaves here." and then I would stare.
There is no way to avoid conflict with this mom, that is not going to work. Better get control of this fast.
VTMom 06:33 AM 04-10-2014
I wouldn't term and I doubt I'd talk to her about it unless it continued. Small towns tend to know EVERYONE'S business and I'd guess most of the people she was talking to are fully aware of the behavior of her precious angel
. I'd definitely be hurt, but clearly this woman doesn't want to take responsibility for her child. It's not an uncommon situation...how many times have we heard "DCK picked up this and that (insert bad habit, bad words, illness) from daycare" knowing full well it came from home.
If you don't think you can get past it, talk to her and expect her to backpedal and deny.
Enjoy your vacation!
. I'd definitely be hurt, but clearly this woman doesn't want to take responsibility for her child. It's not an uncommon situation...how many times have we heard "DCK picked up this and that (insert bad habit, bad words, illness) from daycare" knowing full well it came from home.If you don't think you can get past it, talk to her and expect her to backpedal and deny.
Enjoy your vacation!
Heidi 07:20 AM 04-10-2014
Originally Posted by VTMom:
I wouldn't term and I doubt I'd talk to her about it unless it continued. Small towns tend to know EVERYONE'S business and I'd guess most of the people she was talking to are fully aware of the behavior of her precious angel. I'd definitely be hurt, but clearly this woman doesn't want to take responsibility for her child. It's not an uncommon situation...how many times have we heard "DCK picked up this and that (insert bad habit, bad words, illness) from daycare" knowing full well it came from home.
If you don't think you can get past it, talk to her and expect her to backpedal and deny.
Enjoy your vacation!
I wouldn't term and I doubt I'd talk to her about it unless it continued. Small towns tend to know EVERYONE'S business and I'd guess most of the people she was talking to are fully aware of the behavior of her precious angel
. I'd definitely be hurt, but clearly this woman doesn't want to take responsibility for her child. It's not an uncommon situation...how many times have we heard "DCK picked up this and that (insert bad habit, bad words, illness) from daycare" knowing full well it came from home.If you don't think you can get past it, talk to her and expect her to backpedal and deny.
Enjoy your vacation!
debbiedoeszip 07:22 AM 04-10-2014
<<<As I said, I value your opinions. This is a business. I cannot not afford to have someone talk negative about my livelihood. How would handle the situation? Time will tell about DCB’s recent behavior.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
If you want to continue care for the boy, then I'd have a talk with the mom, but I wouldn't approach her like she's done anything wrong.
I mean, if I own a restaurant (for example) and I get a bad review, I'm not going to angrily confront the person who wrote it and try to make them feel bad about it. If possible, I'm going to try to find out why they didn't like their meal, and again if possible, I'm going to try to make it a better experience for them in the future. Like any business, you are going to get easy customers/clients, and you will get difficult and demanding customers/clients. The goal is to make as many customers/clients as possible happy, repeat customers/clients (and have them spread the good news about the service you provide).
It's hurtful and stressful to get a bad review (or have a client tell others that she's not happy with the service you are providing), but you can't take it personally. All you can do is try to find out why they aren't happy and see if what they would prefer is reasonable/doable.
As for the boy's behaviour, though he doesn't sound like an easy kid, his behaviour (as described) doesn't sound outside of what is fairly normal. Even the hitting and snatching is relatively normal (though not to be condoned). And, no, he doesn't know right from wrong. He's only three and still learning. He's on his way to learning right from wrong, but like every child his age he is a work in progress and sometimes that progress regresses while they are testing boundaries and figuring out what's what.
All that being said, if his behaviour is creating so much work for you that all your energy and attention is being monopolized by him, or you now hate your job, maybe it's time to term and fill his spot with a new child. I do get it. It's been a while, but when I was last doing childcare I had the odd kid who made each and every day unbearable and I did end up terming because of it. Not every client can be satisfied.
If you want to continue care for the boy, then I'd have a talk with the mom, but I wouldn't approach her like she's done anything wrong.
I mean, if I own a restaurant (for example) and I get a bad review, I'm not going to angrily confront the person who wrote it and try to make them feel bad about it. If possible, I'm going to try to find out why they didn't like their meal, and again if possible, I'm going to try to make it a better experience for them in the future. Like any business, you are going to get easy customers/clients, and you will get difficult and demanding customers/clients. The goal is to make as many customers/clients as possible happy, repeat customers/clients (and have them spread the good news about the service you provide).
It's hurtful and stressful to get a bad review (or have a client tell others that she's not happy with the service you are providing), but you can't take it personally. All you can do is try to find out why they aren't happy and see if what they would prefer is reasonable/doable.
As for the boy's behaviour, though he doesn't sound like an easy kid, his behaviour (as described) doesn't sound outside of what is fairly normal. Even the hitting and snatching is relatively normal (though not to be condoned). And, no, he doesn't know right from wrong. He's only three and still learning. He's on his way to learning right from wrong, but like every child his age he is a work in progress and sometimes that progress regresses while they are testing boundaries and figuring out what's what.
All that being said, if his behaviour is creating so much work for you that all your energy and attention is being monopolized by him, or you now hate your job, maybe it's time to term and fill his spot with a new child. I do get it. It's been a while, but when I was last doing childcare I had the odd kid who made each and every day unbearable and I did end up terming because of it. Not every client can be satisfied.
Blackcat31 07:27 AM 04-10-2014
Originally Posted by VTMom:
I wouldn't term and I doubt I'd talk to her about it unless it continued. Small towns tend to know EVERYONE'S business and I'd guess most of the people she was talking to are fully aware of the behavior of her precious angel. I'd definitely be hurt, but clearly this woman doesn't want to take responsibility for her child. It's not an uncommon situation...how many times have we heard "DCK picked up this and that (insert bad habit, bad words, illness) from daycare" knowing full well it came from home.
If you don't think you can get past it, talk to her and expect her to backpedal and deny.
Enjoy your vacation!
This is the route I'd take too. I wouldn't term and I doubt I'd talk to her about it unless it continued. Small towns tend to know EVERYONE'S business and I'd guess most of the people she was talking to are fully aware of the behavior of her precious angel
. I'd definitely be hurt, but clearly this woman doesn't want to take responsibility for her child. It's not an uncommon situation...how many times have we heard "DCK picked up this and that (insert bad habit, bad words, illness) from daycare" knowing full well it came from home.If you don't think you can get past it, talk to her and expect her to backpedal and deny.
Enjoy your vacation!