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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>You're Mean!!!!!!!!
MsMe 08:18 AM 03-27-2012
I have a DCB 4 (5 in April) that everytime he is even minorly corrected he screams....."YOU'RE MEAN Ms. ME!!!!" If it is anything more than a gental reminder the shouting gets louder and the words get worse!! Escalating all the way to blood curdaling scream and 'I hate you'.
Others I hear everyday are:
I am never coming here again
I am going to tell my Mom! You are so mean
I hate "daycare name"
You are the worst
I hope you fall off a cliff
I am going to freeze you forever
ect.
It is totaly out of control!! It is time to open the windows and play outside all day...and the whole neighborhood can here (they are all home and outside during the day).
He is rarly able to play with the other kids for a few minutes without getting crazy and it is when I place him in an activity or alone place that the screaming happens and it doesn't stop after awhile.
Terming is not an option I want consider. I have had this family for 7 years and he goes to Kindy in the Fall. Any advice on how to get his attitude under control is welcome.
I had a two yr old DCG yell, "you're so mean" as she was corrected today and I can not let this go on any longer.
Others I hear everyday are:
I am never coming here again
I am going to tell my Mom! You are so mean
I hate "daycare name"
You are the worst
I hope you fall off a cliff
I am going to freeze you forever
ect.
It is totaly out of control!! It is time to open the windows and play outside all day...and the whole neighborhood can here (they are all home and outside during the day).
He is rarly able to play with the other kids for a few minutes without getting crazy and it is when I place him in an activity or alone place that the screaming happens and it doesn't stop after awhile.
Terming is not an option I want consider. I have had this family for 7 years and he goes to Kindy in the Fall. Any advice on how to get his attitude under control is welcome.
I had a two yr old DCG yell, "you're so mean" as she was corrected today and I can not let this go on any longer.
countrymom 08:21 AM 03-27-2012
I would tell him "good, I'm so mean you get to go and stand in the corner" personally it sounds like he is outgrowing your program. I've had kids like this, not much you can do.
MsMe 08:25 AM 03-27-2012
Originally Posted by countrymom:
I would tell him "good, I'm so mean you get to go and stand in the corner" personally it sounds like he is outgrowing your program. I've had kids like this, not much you can do.
I do say a positive response to what ever he shouts at me. I would tell him "good, I'm so mean you get to go and stand in the corner" personally it sounds like he is outgrowing your program. I've had kids like this, not much you can do.
He is out growing the program and honestly I am holding on for dear life untill he goes to school in the Fall.
The main problem is even though I can grin adn bear his temper and outburst I can not have him act this way outside and when I am trying to talk to parents...and more important it is rubbing off on the other kids.
SimpleMom 08:26 AM 03-27-2012
That's a tough one. I had one like that before. Didn't term them. What I did first is say...well, I guess I'm doing my job then( that always stopped them in their tracks). I would also ask them why they think that--usually when they were calm. I would talk to my neighbors and exlpain a brief situational concept for them so they understood the noise in the house.
Talked with the parents. Asked them if they hear that as well.
Maybe increase the sleep and try to give him some extra attention and pay attention to the good stuff he says and does. Place him in a time-out or take something fun away when he does it. (let parent's know this and the procedure). When I talked to the parent's on this they knew that I was doing it and that I had a system and why I was doing it. They were totally on-board with it and that helped a lot.
You probably have done all this, but it's all I have to offer!!
Good luck on it. Good of you to try and work it out as well.
Talked with the parents. Asked them if they hear that as well.
Maybe increase the sleep and try to give him some extra attention and pay attention to the good stuff he says and does. Place him in a time-out or take something fun away when he does it. (let parent's know this and the procedure). When I talked to the parent's on this they knew that I was doing it and that I had a system and why I was doing it. They were totally on-board with it and that helped a lot.
You probably have done all this, but it's all I have to offer!!
Good luck on it. Good of you to try and work it out as well.
SilverSabre25 08:34 AM 03-27-2012
"Yep I sure am, but I still love you."
"You can say that all you want! I just don't want to hear you say [something totally nonsense...peanut butter pickle is a favorite around here]" (yes, he will almost certainly turn right around and start saying whatever it it. React all dramatically and over play it, "OH NO! You said [whatever] oh no! Now I have to tickle you!" or whatever else is silly)
"I understand that's how you feel. I love you."
"I think you feel very [embarrassed, angry, disappointed, upset,etc] right now."
"It sounds like you're having some strong feelings about what just happened. Would you like to talk about it?"
"Would you like a hug?"
"But if you freeze me forever (or I fall off a cliff, or whatever) then who will get you lunch/give you a hug/ take you outside/etc?"
"I understand that you are feeling upset right now but screaming about it doesn't help. You need to use a quieter voice."
"You can say that all you want! I just don't want to hear you say [something totally nonsense...peanut butter pickle is a favorite around here]" (yes, he will almost certainly turn right around and start saying whatever it it. React all dramatically and over play it, "OH NO! You said [whatever] oh no! Now I have to tickle you!" or whatever else is silly)
"I understand that's how you feel. I love you."
"I think you feel very [embarrassed, angry, disappointed, upset,etc] right now."
"It sounds like you're having some strong feelings about what just happened. Would you like to talk about it?"
"Would you like a hug?"
"But if you freeze me forever (or I fall off a cliff, or whatever) then who will get you lunch/give you a hug/ take you outside/etc?"
"I understand that you are feeling upset right now but screaming about it doesn't help. You need to use a quieter voice."
Meeko 08:42 AM 03-27-2012
Every time he says it...smile sweetly and he loses something fun. He WANTS you to feel hurt.....put it back on him.
Boy: You're mean!"
You: "Oh...well then you won't want to spend time with me making cookies this afternoon. That's OK! We'll have fun anyway!". Make cookies with other kids.
Boy: "I hate you!"
You: Oh OK! Then you won't want to paint with me this morning! OK! You can sit over there while we paint". Smile the whole time.
He'll soon figure out that his words only hurt HIM.
Boy: You're mean!"
You: "Oh...well then you won't want to spend time with me making cookies this afternoon. That's OK! We'll have fun anyway!". Make cookies with other kids.
Boy: "I hate you!"
You: Oh OK! Then you won't want to paint with me this morning! OK! You can sit over there while we paint". Smile the whole time.
He'll soon figure out that his words only hurt HIM.
MsMe 08:43 AM 03-27-2012
Thanks for the replies ladies. At least I know I am not the only one.
I will jsut keep on doing what I am now (yes Simple Mom that I exactly what I have been doing)
Wish be luck that I make it to Fall and don't throw in the towel and move to Alaska befoer then
I will jsut keep on doing what I am now (yes Simple Mom that I exactly what I have been doing)
Wish be luck that I make it to Fall and don't throw in the towel and move to Alaska befoer then
Heidi 11:20 AM 03-27-2012
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
"Yep I sure am, but I still love you."
"You can say that all you want! I just don't want to hear you say [something totally nonsense...peanut butter pickle is a favorite around here]" (yes, he will almost certainly turn right around and start saying whatever it it. React all dramatically and over play it, "OH NO! You said [whatever] oh no! Now I have to tickle you!" or whatever else is silly)
"I understand that's how you feel. I love you."
"I think you feel very [embarrassed, angry, disappointed, upset,etc] right now."
"It sounds like you're having some strong feelings about what just happened. Would you like to talk about it?"
"Would you like a hug?"
"But if you freeze me forever (or I fall off a cliff, or whatever) then who will get you lunch/give you a hug/ take you outside/etc?"
"I understand that you are feeling upset right now but screaming about it doesn't help. You need to use a quieter voice."
All great ideas, but my favorite is the peanut butter pickle one... Have you got a good one for the next time my dcg pulls the old "ehhhhh"....blow rasberry....stomp feet?"Yep I sure am, but I still love you."
"You can say that all you want! I just don't want to hear you say [something totally nonsense...peanut butter pickle is a favorite around here]" (yes, he will almost certainly turn right around and start saying whatever it it. React all dramatically and over play it, "OH NO! You said [whatever] oh no! Now I have to tickle you!" or whatever else is silly)
"I understand that's how you feel. I love you."
"I think you feel very [embarrassed, angry, disappointed, upset,etc] right now."
"It sounds like you're having some strong feelings about what just happened. Would you like to talk about it?"
"Would you like a hug?"
"But if you freeze me forever (or I fall off a cliff, or whatever) then who will get you lunch/give you a hug/ take you outside/etc?"
"I understand that you are feeling upset right now but screaming about it doesn't help. You need to use a quieter voice."
Bella99 12:51 PM 03-27-2012
This has worked for me..
"You're mean and i'm going to tell my Mom"
"Please go sit over there in the corner"
"NO!"
"Ok what do you think your punishment should be for.. hitting Sally"
And then they almost always think of something that i'd have picked, like they have to sit with me outside, has to set the table for lunch, or can't participate in the next game.
Maybe I was just lucky..though
"You're mean and i'm going to tell my Mom"
"Please go sit over there in the corner"
"NO!"
"Ok what do you think your punishment should be for.. hitting Sally"
And then they almost always think of something that i'd have picked, like they have to sit with me outside, has to set the table for lunch, or can't participate in the next game.
Maybe I was just lucky..though
LittleD 06:34 AM 03-28-2012
I've never had one to this extent, but my guys will on occasion say things to me like this.
In terms of the threatening, that is not acceptable. They are entitled to their feelings, but telling me they are going to/want to do harm to me gets a stern "That type of language is unacceptable and inappropriate. We do not talk like that to others." Of course, we have discussed what inappropriate and unacceptable is during circle times when everyone is in a learning mood, so using big words like that works for us.
When your dck is yelling at you out of anger, they should go to a quiet place to calm down, then you can discuss what they are bothered about. I wouldn't acknowledge what they say, simply tell them they sound too angry to talk right now and they need to go to the couch/chair to calm down. Once calm, you can ask what is wrong, explain that we don't talk rudely to others, and ask them to join everyone when they have control of their emotions.(in that order, always acknowledge their feelings first)
Hate is another word we don't use here, and is not allowed to be used towards others.
In terms of the threatening, that is not acceptable. They are entitled to their feelings, but telling me they are going to/want to do harm to me gets a stern "That type of language is unacceptable and inappropriate. We do not talk like that to others." Of course, we have discussed what inappropriate and unacceptable is during circle times when everyone is in a learning mood, so using big words like that works for us.
When your dck is yelling at you out of anger, they should go to a quiet place to calm down, then you can discuss what they are bothered about. I wouldn't acknowledge what they say, simply tell them they sound too angry to talk right now and they need to go to the couch/chair to calm down. Once calm, you can ask what is wrong, explain that we don't talk rudely to others, and ask them to join everyone when they have control of their emotions.(in that order, always acknowledge their feelings first)
Hate is another word we don't use here, and is not allowed to be used towards others.