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Old 02-12-2013, 12:10 PM
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Default DCF Lying, Marriage Issues, Disability, Etc

I have a long relationship with some neighbor dcf. Mom and dad are having marriage issues, dcd is having money issues (self employed) and dcm is recently on disability. Both have shared too much with me about all of this and I am starting to piece together that one or both is lying to me. Like if such and such happened then xx couldnt have happened- either time doesnt work or dck tell me otherwise etc. Dcb has shared a lot about whats going on at home too, making me even more "in the know". I dont give a rip about any of the issues really, dcf is awesome, kids are so good, and they pay for two weeks of care one week in advance through mmk

BUT, nothing annoys me more then being lied to. Especially when i have proof otherwise, like dcd showing me nasty texts from dcm or dcm slipping up and saying she is at one place when she claims to be at work etc.

I am afraid if I bring it up dcm will freak and pull the kids (big $$ issue for me) or worse since Ive seen these freakishly mean texts she sends dcd. And besides her issues, he is a liar too. It goes against my natural instincts to look at and or talk to people this two faced but my dh says to ignore their issues, save up a little "extra " $ in case they leave or home issues force them to pull kids out of care. Am I allowing them to lie to me by not addressing it OR do Ileave it alone, pretend I know nothing, and as long as care is good and they pay try to speak to them as little as possible?
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Old 02-12-2013, 12:30 PM
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Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 19,760

Personally I would stop allowing them to tell you anything personal.

Just say "DCM/DCD, I think that I have gotten a little too involved with your private life and really feel uncomfortable knowing some of what I do so I think it would be best if from now on, we only discuss DCK and things that are relevant to his/her care."

Just stress to them that you like them both and would really prefer to not be in the middle.

I don't think by not confronting them that you are allowing them to lie to you. I think your best bet is to put a stop to the personal info and leave it alone. Just pretend you know nothing.

Do what your DH says, save a little extra $ just in case and go from there.
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Old 02-12-2013, 12:33 PM
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butterfly butterfly is offline Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
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Until it affects my payments, disrespects me/my family, or compromises the care of the child - I would just let it go. If any of the above mentioned items become an issue, terminate and be done but otherwise, I'd continue business as usual.
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Old 02-12-2013, 12:42 PM
wdmmom wdmmom is offline
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: WDM, IA
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Keep business business. I just wouldn't entertain any discussion that isn't relevant to me getting paid. As long as they pay and pay on time, I wouldn't care who did what to who or where they're at.

If it concerns you that dcm isn't at work when she claims, simply state that for future reference, if she's not going to be at work to tell you ahead of time so you know how to reach her in the event of a problem/accident.
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