Hello!

So I have 4 families enrolled. 3 are great with schedules. This is about my favorite DCP's (previously posted about) with DCK I'm not so fond of.

I love the DCM. We are a lot alike when it comes to parenting, beliefs etc. It's safe to say I have a very friendly *but* business relationship with her. DCD just moved out of state for work and will only be here one week a month to help out. DCM just started working the schedule of 7 days on, 6 days off. She is originally from about 4-5 hours south from where I am. So on the weeks she is off, she takes DCK down south to visit her family. She is still paying for a FT spot and he is here 1/2 the time, which is pretty neat!

HOWEVER -- I am dealing with an issue now that this is all going on. The weeks she does work, she is working 1pm-1am so some family is here helping -- picking up DCK from my house, home, bed, etc. So all this week, she's been bring DCK between 10-11...and staying for an hour!!!! I am soo busy at that hour. What really rubs me the wrong way, on Monday when she came in and stayed that long for the first time, she was basically pushing me into the kitchen to feed DCK breakfast. It was 11:15pm. All of my kids started getting crabby, probably picking up off on my stress and she made the comment about how they all are starving (not in a rude way -- just meaning they must be hungry!) I wanted to say, no..they actually ate breakfast at 9 this morning. If they are hungry, it's because it's almost lunch time!!

Also, certain Mondays she gets off at 6. I close at 6 and previously mentioned it was OK because she'd get here at 6:15 at the latest. The last 2 times this happened, she sat down on my couch and I didnt lock the door behind her until 7:15. Sometimes I feel as though people view me as a stay at home mom with absolutely nothing better to do with her time, I swear.

SO. I am thinking I am going to change my policy to include a breakfast time, and if they aren't here by that time -- no breakfast. Please feed them before you come if you're going to be that late. I know she wants to spend that time with him because she doesn't work until the afternoon, but I just want to say...keep him home to spend time with him! Of course this week has been hell because he is confused when his mom stays for awhile and then leaves. My HB even says to make goodbyes brief for the sake of the kids

Sorry this was so long. It's half 'I need advice' and half rant. Can anyone help me with the wording on the new breakfast policy? I am thinking 9am-9:30 will be breakfast. 930 is the cut-off time.

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This is what I have in my handbook.


Our meal schedule is as follows:
7am- breakfast ( children arriving after 7:45 will not be served breakfast, they will be served a morning snack at the scheduled time ).
9am- morning snack
12pm- lunch
3pm- afternoon snack

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Im not the best with wording at all. I have something like breakfast is served between 7:30am and 8:30am. Any child arriving after 8:30am needs to have eaten breakfast at home. Buuuut I kind of wish I put they have to be here by 815 latest bc some parents bring kids in at 825 for breakfast. Her staying that long would frustrate me though. Esp bc it makes it harder for the child when she does decide to leave. Hope this helps

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Maybe word the policy that breakfast is over at 8:30. Children must arrive by 8:10 to be able to participate in breakfast. Otherwise they will need to wait til 10am (or whatever) for morning snack time.

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I personally would write her an email and outline why this situation is not working.

Dear dcm,
I wanted to reiterate some of my policies in light of your new schedule and arrangements. It is very important that as a member of this daycare family we make sure that all children are feeling comfortable in my care. Breakfast is served from 8am - 9am and if your child is not here during that time, the next meal is lunch which is served at 12. Pickup and drop off are to be brief and as quick as possible so as not to disrupt the other children, the daycare routine and your childs day. My work hours end at 6pm and although I don't mind waiting for you to commute from work the pickup needs to be brief as I have obligations outside of my work that need to be attended to.
I hope these policies make sense to you and I am sure you understand. If you have any questions or concerns please let me know.
Thanks
Kristine

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I have something in my contract stating that breakfast is at 9 am and if the child arrives later than 9:15 than they are expected to have already eaten at home.

I have a parent who arrives late and told me initially that they would feed the child before he came. However, they often show up after breakfast time with food and want me to feed the child. This annoys me because the other kids have already eaten and the fact that this kid must eat now causes problems amongst the others. I can't just deny the child food.

Does anyone have any advice for this scenario?

OP-I am saying this not only because I need advice, but also because even if you put something in your contract beware that the parent is probably going to try and stretch the rules. However, it is still your choice to terminate if they are not following your rules.

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We do:

Breakfast from 7-7:55 (or earlier, our first kid gets there at 6, obviously we feed him as he gets there)

AM snack- 9:30
Lunch 11:30
PM snack 3:00
Dinner: 5:30
EV snack 7:30

We don't have it written on the contract but we post the feeding schedule on EVERY newsletter and at drop off , if parent is late and says kid is hungry we simply reply "snack is at 9"

As for the mom bringing the own food how old is the child? If they can self feed I say put them in the high chair give them 10 minutes and take the food away. Tell mom that when he is late and has his own meal he is losing out on social/developmental time. That you will not change your schedule to accommodate him and you are more than happy to let him eat, however this may include him missing out on circle/song/free play/craft etc

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I would change the policy for everyone because this will not be the only time you may deal with this.

When I change policy, I include a letter, highlighting the changes (I would personalize for this dcm, much like Ariana suggested) and include the new policy, with space for them to date/sign and return.

If your breakfast is at 9, I would have the cut off for 8:45 or 9. If it ends at 9:30, you don't want a child showing up at 9:25 and expecting breakfast, kwim? Or, at least, I wouldn't.

I would have something like:
If your child will be eating breakfast with the group, your child will need to arrive by 8:45. Children who arrive past this time will not be served. The next meal time is 10:30 am.

I am not able to safely supervise eating times outside of our scheduled meals and snacks. OR Children will not be fed outside of our regularly scheduled meal and snack times. Therefore, if your child arrives later than 8:45, it remains the parents responsibility to ensure that the child is fed, dressed and ready for their day when arriving in care.

I would also address the pick up issues directly with the dcm. Ariana stated it in a way that is firm but friendly and easily understandable by dcm.

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Lots of great advice/suggestions but I also want to add that no DC issue is solved but just changing a policy.

If a DCP didnt follow the policy before (brief drop offs) she isnt just going to magically start following any new policies.

WITH the policy change you need to talk to her as well.

If you are friendly with, then strike up a conversation with her about the things shes doing that you simply cant allow. Explain why. Offer solutions for her if you have them.

If she values you/your services she will listen and understand.

Communication is key!

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P.S. I also think BC's advice is good. You could even send the email and then when you see her in person I'd probably say "I sent you an email. Nothing personal but I need to keep everything running as smoothly as possible for the whole group." Big smile.

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