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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>4 Year Old Behavior Issues
Unregistered 10:31 AM 09-07-2017
I have had this child since he was 3 months old. I had his older siblings who are 8 and 10 years old, from babies until they went to kindergarten. In the last 6 months or so, he has major difficulty listening, following directions, teases others and takes things away from other children that he wants to play with. There have been no changes at home or here that I can associate with the change in behavior. He has had what i consider normal behavior issues for his age previous to this, but has become an every day issue more recently. I have a pretty good thought that he is doing these things for attention. Up until this past year he has been left out of doing a lot of things with his family because DCM has said "he is to little and it is too difficult to take him with" or "there's such a big age difference, that his siblings want to do things he is not big enough to do". I really feel that him being left out has had a big impact on him and is showing in his behavior now. He has consequences both here and at home for his behavior, but day after day nothing changes. I have tried doing projects with him while the other children have free play. I thought this would help with two things: giving him one on one time and less free time to tease and take away toys from others. This worked for awhile until he realized he was missing out on some free play time. I have also tried redirection, seperating him from the group for a time to watch how the other children interact with each other, letting him bring special toys from home to play with when he is having good behavior, etc. Any ideas on other things to try?
daycarediva 10:40 AM 09-07-2017
He's 4, not 2.
You may do this or this (two choices I can live with)
"You can either sit and do a craft with me, or sit and do a craft by yourself."
"You can either play nicely with the trucks and X. OR you can play by yourself (insert area here)"
The end. NO emotion. He's getting attention. A LOT of it. Just negative.
He is misbehaving, regardless of the rationale behind it.
At the same time, I would be finding positive things he does and state them matter of fact. "Luke shared that puzzle and Jane said thank you!"
positive attention when warranted, but not in an over the top way. Four year olds are too smart for that BS.
You may do this or this (two choices I can live with)
"You can either sit and do a craft with me, or sit and do a craft by yourself."
"You can either play nicely with the trucks and X. OR you can play by yourself (insert area here)"
The end. NO emotion. He's getting attention. A LOT of it. Just negative.
He is misbehaving, regardless of the rationale behind it.
At the same time, I would be finding positive things he does and state them matter of fact. "Luke shared that puzzle and Jane said thank you!"
positive attention when warranted, but not in an over the top way. Four year olds are too smart for that BS.
Ariana 06:19 PM 09-07-2017
He sounds just like a 3 year old I have! Always wanting negative attention. Just this morning I got my husband to observe him with a flute. He kept coming closer to me and blowing into it super hard to be as loud as possible. When he didn't get any feedback from me he started doing it to the other kids. No reason just wants to be annoying so he can get their attention. His sister is the same. Always destructive intentionally.
Anyway what I have found works is giving him more direction and directing his play. It sounds like you are kind of already doing this but you need to be more firm like daycarediva said. Today I asked him "ok do you want to play with the playdoh here or there"? Then later I said "do you want to play with the big trucks or the small cars". Then I will start directing his play. "I bet that big truck wants to put some blocks in the back and drop them off here...yadda yadda". I am basically mimicking what is happening at home. He has zero clue how to play on his own and his behavior is so annoying I am willing to go against everything I believe in to keep him occupied!
Anyway what I have found works is giving him more direction and directing his play. It sounds like you are kind of already doing this but you need to be more firm like daycarediva said. Today I asked him "ok do you want to play with the playdoh here or there"? Then later I said "do you want to play with the big trucks or the small cars". Then I will start directing his play. "I bet that big truck wants to put some blocks in the back and drop them off here...yadda yadda". I am basically mimicking what is happening at home. He has zero clue how to play on his own and his behavior is so annoying I am willing to go against everything I believe in to keep him occupied!