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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Yet Another Day With My Difficult Child
mommiesherie 12:31 PM 11-16-2011
Ok I know anytime I reply to a post I end up using an example of my difficult child in it. Ugh!! I am just not sure I am cut out to deal with this child. He is the one I posted about being a hitter not long ago. He is sooo sneaky and mean. This morning started out with him coming in pitching a fit when his mom left. Ugh I mean kicking and screaming big time. Then later he of course hits my 2 year old. This happens daily no matter what. When we start playing I say we do NOT hit. What happens when we do? He always replies time out and a spanking. He gets in trouble at home (so they say) when he is not good here. Normally I don't suggest that but this child is different. Lol he honestly just don't care about consequences at all. As soon as my back is turned he is gonna hit. So straight to time out. I am at point where I just say go to time out and don't discuss it any further with him. I have to remind him to go potty because he don't want to just in case he has to poop because that is a major issue. He hates to poop.

So today I said go potty and he has a major melt down. That tells me he has to poop. Ugh great! So he spends like 30 min on potty screaming at top of his lungs because he don't wanna poop but has to. Now mom has taken him to doctor several of them and they assure her he has no medical reason for this. My opinion is he can't control that and he likes to try to be in control. If I say go sit at the blue table he would do everything in his power to sit at any table but the blue table. If I say go to the carpet he will do anything he can to not even touch the carpet. He is a very stressful child. His baby brother on the other hand is an absolute joy. So sweet and just a good baby. I know his issues stem from home. When they pick him up he throws huge fits when they put him in car seat. Runs away if they let him walk to car. Some days I am just soooo glad that its time for him to go home. I feel like I am constantly on him. I do reward for good behavior with a star chart but he gets very few. I want him to enjoy coming here but I refuse to allow him to be the boss. I don't argue with him I just pick him up and say I told you the blue table and I meant it. I can't and done give him an inch because he would take way moe than a mile.

My husband says don't stress about him just terminate. I do like the fact that they are just 4 days a week and also wonder how long it would take to replace them. I would just replace with one child though. I gave them a second child rate. (Lesson learned there). So if I replaced with one child I wouldn't be loosing much. I don't count on the money from them but it is our extra money and christmas is coming up. Anyways thanks for letting me vent about it. Haha I may terminate first of the year though.
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daycare 12:38 PM 11-16-2011
try giving him a separate play area when he is showing no control

Try giving options.

Billy would you like to walk to the blue table like a big boy or would you like me to carry you to the table?

Let him decide. Either way, he is going.

Or you can give an different option.
option 1 or 2 only.... If the don't respond right away with what they want to do then say.

Billy show me that you know how to make a good decision. Again, give it another few seconds. After 30 seconds, you tell him please make your decision or I will have to make it for you. I know you can do it.

This works wonders for me....
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sahm2three 12:58 PM 11-16-2011
Originally Posted by mommiesherie:
Ok I know anytime I reply to a post I end up using an example of my difficult child in it. Ugh!! I am just not sure I am cut out to deal with this child. He is the one I posted about being a hitter not long ago. He is sooo sneaky and mean. This morning started out with him coming in pitching a fit when his mom left. Ugh I mean kicking and screaming big time. Then later he of course hits my 2 year old. This happens daily no matter what. When we start playing I say we do NOT hit. What happens when we do? He always replies time out and a spanking. He gets in trouble at home (so they say) when he is not good here. Normally I don't suggest that but this child is different. Lol he honestly just don't care about consequences at all. As soon as my back is turned he is gonna hit. So straight to time out. I am at point where I just say go to time out and don't discuss it any further with him. I have to remind him to go potty because he don't want to just in case he has to poop because that is a major issue. He hates to poop. So today I said go potty and he has a major melt down. That tells me he has to poop. Ugh great! So he spends like 30 min on potty screaming at top of his lungs because he don't wanna poop but has to. Now mom has taken him to doctor several of them and they assure her he has no medical reason for this. My opinion is he can't control that and he likes to try to be in control. If I say go sit at the blue table he would do everything in his power to sit at any table but the blue table. If I say go to the carpet he will do anything he can to not even touch the carpet. He is a very stressful child. His baby brother on the other hand is an absolute joy. So sweet and just a good baby. I know his issues stem from home. When they pick him up he throws huge fits when they put him in car seat. Runs away if they let him walk to car. Some days I am just soooo glad that its time for him to go home. I feel like I am constantly on him. I do reward for good behavior with a star chart but he gets very few. I want him to enjoy coming here but I refuse to allow him to be the boss. I don't argue with him I just pick him up and say I told you the blue table and I meant it. I can't and done give him an inch because he would take way moe than a mile. My husband says don't stress about him just terminate. I do like the fact that they are just 4 days a week and also wonder how long it would take to replace them. I would just replace with one child though. I gave them a second child rate. (Lesson learned there). So if I replaced with one child I wouldn't be loosing much. I don't count on the money from them but it is our extra money and christmas is coming up. Anyways thanks for letting me vent about it. Haha I may terminate first of the year though.
How old is he?
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mommiesherie 01:06 PM 11-16-2011
Originally Posted by sahm2three:
How old is he?
3 1/2 and super smart. He know better and can't tell you the rules.
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mommiesherie 01:08 PM 11-16-2011
Oh I forgot to add he will throw up on purpose when he gets mad at you or upset with something.
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daycare 01:27 PM 11-16-2011
Originally Posted by mommiesherie:
Oh I forgot to add he will throw up on purpose when he gets mad at you or upset with something.
I just got rid of one of those..lol

If it was not food he liked, throw up

Something he didnt want to do, throw up..

UGh that is when I draw the line... I can handle only so much.

SOrry to hear its this bad...

Remember, we can't save them all..
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Michael 01:36 PM 11-16-2011
Originally Posted by mommiesherie:
3 1/2 and super smart. He know better and can't tell you the rules.
Boy he sounds a lot like my son when he was that age. If this child is highly gifted you have your work cut out for you. He will need a structured environment and needs to be highly stimulated. We found that computer learning games and lots of books helped. Get a Disney learning game and sit with him at the computer as you figure the program out. If he seems enamored with it then "gifted" would be my guess. My wife touches on this here: https://www.daycare.com/story/index2.html
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Lucy 03:18 PM 11-16-2011
Originally Posted by Michael:
Boy he sounds a lot like my son when he was that age. If this child is highly gifted you have your work cut out for you. He will need a structured environment and needs to be highly stimulated. We found that computer learning games and lots of books helped. Get a Disney learning game and sit with him at the computer as you figure the program out. If he seems enamored with it then "gifted" would be my guess. My wife touches on this here: https://www.daycare.com/story/index2.html
I really enjoyed your wife's article. At the end, she says she will update it. Any ETA on that update?
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mommiesherie 03:31 PM 11-16-2011
Originally Posted by Michael:
Boy he sounds a lot like my son when he was that age. If this child is highly gifted you have your work cut out for you. He will need a structured environment and needs to be highly stimulated. We found that computer learning games and lots of books helped. Get a Disney learning game and sit with him at the computer as you figure the program out. If he seems enamored with it then "gifted" would be my guess. My wife touches on this here: https://www.daycare.com/story/index2.html
He is smart actually. You may be correct actually. He can count and write already
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Michael 03:47 PM 11-16-2011
Originally Posted by Joyce:
I really enjoyed your wife's article. At the end, she says she will update it. Any ETA on that update?
Thank you, she wrote it as a parent years ago and wants to update it. We were so worried about Jonathan when he was younger. He has turned out to be a fine young man and attends California State North Ridge College and is majoring in Computer Sciences. Go figure.

Originally Posted by mommiesherie:
He is smart actually. You may be correct actually. He can count and write already
Yep, his parents really need to get him tested. If not directed correctly he is a time bomb waiting to go off. I hope he gets the help he needs. Gifted children and considered handicapped in the classroom. Incredible potential for destruction or creativity depending on how he is "cared" or not cared for. That's not to say it’s your responsibility. Many providers are just not equipped with the tools to handle them. The parents have to make the correct decisions.
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Kaddidle Care 04:32 PM 11-16-2011
Originally Posted by mommiesherie:
My husband says don't stress about him just terminate.
"Thar's your sign!" You have hubby's backing. In other words - he's telling you HE's heard enough about this kid and HE doesn't want to hear it any more.

A.F.T. Advertise, Fill the spot and Terminate. Yes, it may "only" be 4 days but they can be very loooong days when things are miserable.

Best wishes!
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mommiesherie 08:02 PM 11-16-2011
Originally Posted by Michael:
Thank you, she wrote it as a parent years ago and wants to update it. We were so worried about Jonathan when he was younger. He has turned out to be a fine young man and attends California State North Ridge College and is majoring in Computer Sciences. Go figure.



Yep, his parents really need to get him tested. If not directed correctly he is a time bomb waiting to go off. I hope he gets the help he needs. Gifted children and considered handicapped in the classroom. Incredible potential for destruction or creativity depending on how he is "cared" or not cared for. That's not to say itís your responsibility. Many providers are just not equipped with the tools to handle them. The parents have to make the correct decisions.
I am gonna do some more research on it and then talk to parents about it. I am not equipped to deal with him for sure. Michael, you call him gifted I call him a demon lol just kidding well kinda.
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Michael 10:14 PM 11-16-2011
Originally Posted by mommiesherie:
I am gonna do some more research on it and then talk to parents about it. I am not equipped to deal with him for sure. Michael, you call him gifted I call him a demon lol just kidding well kinda.
No I understand. If he is not finding the positive stimulation he needs, he IS going to be hell.
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mommiesherie 03:41 AM 11-17-2011
Originally Posted by Michael:
No I understand. If he is not finding the positive stimulation he needs, he IS going to be hell.
I have a couple friends who are pediatricians. I think I will talk to them about him. One is gifted himself. I bet they will be able to really give me some insight on him. . Thanks! I would have never put that together.
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mommiesherie 03:50 AM 11-17-2011
Originally Posted by mommiesherie:
I have a couple friends who are pediatricians. I think I will talk to them about him. One is gifted himself. I bet they will be able to really give me some insight on him. . Thanks! I would have never put that together.
Oh he also really needs to run. As soon as his feet hit the door he takes off running. I have always taken it as him being defiant. Like he is playing a game of chase but it would really make sense now. It drives me nuts! I started carrying him to car for his mom so she doesn't have to chase him around my yard. Ugh frustrating!
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Tags:age appropriate - zones, gifted, separate areas
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