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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Children That Isolate Themselves??? What Do You Do?
AngiesCareXYZ 12:08 PM 03-13-2013
I have a DG that is 2. She has been with me for just over a yr. There are parent problems at home. And there have been some new kids added to the group here as well. So there are a lot of changes for this lil girl. She does very poorly with change period. But she usually bounces back within a week or so. This has been progressively getting worse over a 2.5 month span. Recently she has become very withdrawn, throwing temper tantrums, yelling and walking up to kids and grabbing their toy and just holding it. She doesn't take it she just holds onto it while they struggle to take back their toy. Sometimes she will just watch the kid struggle and others she will yell back at them.
I have tried the following to help her adjust to the new kids here.
Letting her know she is very important and welcome.
Ask her to join the group.
The kids try to get her to join the group.
Doing special activities that I know she enjoys.
Stay consistent with my expectations of her and the other children.
I have also talked to her mother about the change that I have seen in her. Today actually we had a serious talk about DG. Mom says that she thinks she just needs more time. I spoke 1 time about the home environment and mom says that it is chaotic due to 1 extended family member just moving in and another that has been living there is being unpleasant to b around right know. She also said that her and husband have been having probs but DG doesn't see it.
Can you give me some advise? What do you do to help the kids? What do you do to help yourself too? Thanks so much for the advice!!!
I have tried the following to help her adjust to the new kids here.
Letting her know she is very important and welcome.
Ask her to join the group.
The kids try to get her to join the group.
Doing special activities that I know she enjoys.
Stay consistent with my expectations of her and the other children.
I have also talked to her mother about the change that I have seen in her. Today actually we had a serious talk about DG. Mom says that she thinks she just needs more time. I spoke 1 time about the home environment and mom says that it is chaotic due to 1 extended family member just moving in and another that has been living there is being unpleasant to b around right know. She also said that her and husband have been having probs but DG doesn't see it.
Can you give me some advise? What do you do to help the kids? What do you do to help yourself too? Thanks so much for the advice!!!
CedarCreek 12:14 PM 03-13-2013
Honestly it sounds like you are handling it very well. Everything you listed sounds like its a great option for the behavior.
I think you just need to keep on it and maybe follow her to redirect immediately when she holds on to toys that the other children have.
Maybe someone else on here will have a better idea, but I think those are all great.
I think you just need to keep on it and maybe follow her to redirect immediately when she holds on to toys that the other children have.
Maybe someone else on here will have a better idea, but I think those are all great.
Starburst 12:28 PM 03-13-2013
Well if groups are a problem try to get her to do little projects one on one with another child than eventually add another child and another until she feels comfortable with the whole group. Some kids are intimidated by groups of more than 1 or 2 people. Maybe find an activity that only need 2 kids or has no limit (like making a fruit salad for everyone for lunch, playing dolls, puzzle, looking at pictures, dancing, a doctor kit/dramatic play) try to pick a child she gets along with the most (or conflicts the least with). Give them about 5 to 15 minutes (depending on activity) and you can also try initiating it, like if you had a stethescope try getting her to listen to your heartbeat, then the other child's heartbeat, and see if she will let you or the other child listen to hers and then slowly pull away from the center and be in a close distance but not overshadowing.
AngiesCareXYZ 12:34 PM 03-13-2013
I will try this. She might be more willing to participate if it's just 1 other child.Thanks for this advise.
Originally Posted by Starburst:
Well if groups are a problem try to get her to do little projects one on one with another child than eventually add another child and another until she feels comfortable with the whole group. Some kids are intimidated by groups of more than 1 or 2 people. Maybe find an activity that only need 2 kids or has no limit (like making a fruit salad for everyone for lunch, playing dolls, puzzle, looking at pictures, dancing, a doctor kit/dramatic play) try to pick a child she gets along with the most (or conflicts the least with). Give them about 5 to 15 minutes (depending on activity) and you can also try initiating, it like if you had a stethescope try getting her to listen to your heartbeat, then then the other child's heartbeat, and see if she will let you or the other child listen to hers and then slowly pull away from the center and be in a close distance but not overshadowing.
Well if groups are a problem try to get her to do little projects one on one with another child than eventually add another child and another until she feels comfortable with the whole group. Some kids are intimidated by groups of more than 1 or 2 people. Maybe find an activity that only need 2 kids or has no limit (like making a fruit salad for everyone for lunch, playing dolls, puzzle, looking at pictures, dancing, a doctor kit/dramatic play) try to pick a child she gets along with the most (or conflicts the least with). Give them about 5 to 15 minutes (depending on activity) and you can also try initiating, it like if you had a stethescope try getting her to listen to your heartbeat, then then the other child's heartbeat, and see if she will let you or the other child listen to hers and then slowly pull away from the center and be in a close distance but not overshadowing.
Evansmom 01:11 PM 03-13-2013
Also you may help her know its ok to want to play alone too. Maybe helping her feel ok with her natural inclination will help her feel safe and eventually open her up. (Says the introvert 
Starburst 02:05 PM 03-13-2013
Originally Posted by Evansmom:
Also you may help her know its ok to want to play alone too. Maybe helping her feel ok with her natural inclination will help her feel safe and eventually open her up. (Says the introvert
Lol I am too. I remember in elementry school during recess just sitting in a corner next to one of the classroom portables everyday in the shade and watching the other kids play, sometimes I would find sticks or pencils and use them to play dolls- man now I kinda feel like a loser Also you may help her know its ok to want to play alone too. Maybe helping her feel ok with her natural inclination will help her feel safe and eventually open her up. (Says the introvert
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Evansmom 02:18 PM 03-13-2013
Originally Posted by Starburst:
Lol I am too. I remember in elementry school during recess just sitting in a corner next to one of the classroom portables everyday in the shade and watching the other kids play, sometimes I would find sticks or pencils and use them to play dolls- man now I kinda feel like a loser.
No! There isn't anything wrong with being introverted Lol I am too. I remember in elementry school during recess just sitting in a corner next to one of the classroom portables everyday in the shade and watching the other kids play, sometimes I would find sticks or pencils and use them to play dolls- man now I kinda feel like a loser
.. As long as you are happy being that way. It has nothing to do with being a loser or anti-social. I'm more than happy to observe, I prefer it. And I dislike being pulled into a commotion by someone else who believes its for my own good or that I couldn't possibly like sitting quietly and observing. So I just wanted to suggest that to the OP in case the little girl actually just likes being away from the group.
AngiesCareXYZ 08:55 PM 03-13-2013
Thanks for the input. DG has always taken a bit of time to warm up to strangers, but I have never seen her like this. The group of kids that I have right now is a total of 5 kids on most days. All of the kids have also been carefully chosen to ensure that their personalities compliment each other. Most of my kids...except for my son.. HA HA all have pretty calm personalities. This side of the DG is just new to me. I don't want to over analyze her or the behaviors that she is showing right now. I just want her to be comfortable again. 
Originally Posted by Evansmom:
No! There isn't anything wrong with being introverted. As long as you are happy being that way. It has nothing to do with being a loser or anti-social. I'm more than happy to observe, I prefer it. And I dislike being pulled into a commotion by someone else who believes its for my own good or that I couldn't possibly like sitting quietly and observing.
So I just wanted to suggest that to the OP in case the little girl actually just likes being away from the group.
No! There isn't anything wrong with being introverted
. As long as you are happy being that way. It has nothing to do with being a loser or anti-social. I'm more than happy to observe, I prefer it. And I dislike being pulled into a commotion by someone else who believes its for my own good or that I couldn't possibly like sitting quietly and observing. So I just wanted to suggest that to the OP in case the little girl actually just likes being away from the group.
Evansmom 06:34 AM 03-14-2013
Oh I see, so this is newish behavior? It could be developmental, sometimes kids go through shyer periods. I think what you have described in your original post are great things to be doing and sounds like you are making every attempt that you can to include her. I guess all you can do now is give her time to adjust to the different things happening at home and at daycare.