Unregistered 07:43 PM 06-01-2012
I am a father to a 1 yr old lil girl who the past few weekends with me she has wanted less an less to do with me now she crys when I hold her or touch her forbid I change her she dosent even like my wife to leave her in the room alone with me she's started getting odd bruises maybe I'm just over reacting someone please give me some advice
SilverSabre25 08:29 PM 06-01-2012
If you have concerns, document everything you're worried about with dated photos, and take your daughter to the doctor.
Willow 11:51 PM 06-01-2012
1 year olds are becoming very mobile. Bruises are EXTREMELY common at this age and could just mean she's getting up and moving around more, exactly like she's supposed to. Wait until she's 2-3, her legs, shins and bum will likely be covered in them if she's doing as much climbing, running and jumping as she's supposed to be able to do at that point!
Her behavior towards you lately could be due to a myriad of things...a run of the mill fear period, how much time she spends with mom compared to you, getting too little sleep at night, seasonal allergies, illness, teething...the list could go on and on.
Can you talk to mom to find out if she's noticed anything out of the ordinary? Talk to her about your fears and see if she can offer you an explanation that'll explain what's up? You're stuck co-parenting for the next 17+ years of your daughters life at a bare minimum. You have to be willing and able to communicate and work through the concerns you both have with each other.
I would be REALLY hesitant to make any accusations unless you can confirm and/or prove any wrong doing. The few concerns you expressed could have perfectly good/normal/harmless explanations.
MarinaVanessa 05:42 PM 06-02-2012
I agree that bruising is common for children this age. Of course you can still check for and document the bruises especially if they are in "odd" places. Bruising on the knees, shins, face and head are extremely common for example and are usually small (dime to quarter size). I'd be suspicious of bruises the wrap around the limbs or are linear (like the shape of a belt strap or cord). It's very unlikely that a child get a bruise that wraps around the arm or leg from a fall or during play. These can happen when the child is grabbed too tightly. If you feel that something suspicious is going on then I agree that you should document the bruising.
As far as the way that your DD wants less and less to do with you: She's at the age where the beginnings of "seperation anxiety" may kick in. If she primarily lives with mom and goes to visit you on the weekends for example then her regular daily routine has been interrupted and that's scarry for kids. They thrive on routine and are known to act up or panic when their regular schedule is desrupted. You can always talk to mom about what your DD's routing looks like at mom's house and follow the same routine at your house too. If DD is at daycare during the day ask your DD's primary caregiver what the routine is there. It's important that their wake-up times, meals, sleep schedule etc. stay consistent. This may help her transition better. If you only see your DD every other weekend then maybe it's because she doesn't see you very often so she's wary. If your seperation is recent (last few months) then your DD could be anxious over the disruption to her home life. If she was used to seeing you and mom everyday then went to not seeing you as often and you not being in the home that can also add stress. I'd recommend spending as much time as you can with her if that's possible and limiting the number of caretakers she has.
My DD went through somthing similar when her father and I split up and she was around the same age. She was staying with me primarily but was in daycare 3-4 days out of the week (I had a retail job), at dads house every other weekend and at my mom's house on evenings that I worked late. I changed my hours at work so that I wouldn't work so late anymore and had my mom come to my house to visit instead of my DD go to her house. It helped alot. Good luck.