I have a family where the dcd lost his job. They will be using their vacation time. I would love to help them out more but we are in a tight financial situation now and truly can't afford a pay cut. I have a long waiting list so there is no issue there. I feel really bad for them and wish I could offer part time or reduced rates until dcd gets a job, but I truly can't. Am I being heartless? What have you all done or what would you do?

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I had a divorced mom that this happened too. She was solely responsible for daycare. She went down to 1 day a week, just to keep her foot in the door. I told her that I would let her know if someone else wanted the spot and give her the option of having it. She didn't expect me to hold the spot and lose income.

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I once had only two dcks and both dcms lost their jobs. One week after the other. One of the dcms was telling me how upset she was over losing her job and i said "i know how you feel. I just lost my Job today too". I watched her child for free a few times when she had interviews. She was offered two different jobs. One a typical 9 to 5 and the other that involved night, weekends and a varying schedule. She took the latter and was upset with me that i wanted to charge more for nights and weekends. It ended badly. What i learned is that parents put their schedule, their finances, their needs before ours. This is a business and they will treat it as such when it suits them. We tend to have kind hearts and get taken advantage of. So please out the needs needs of you and your family first and take a child from your wait list. You don't know how long it will be till this parent finds a job and you don't know the location or hours of their neat job. You need to play it safe here.

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I'm sure they understand that you can't hold their spot or they should. My son's girlfriend who is very employable didn't find a job for 7 months until she finally found one where she had to take a pay cut...but at least it was a job. No telling how long you would have to wait and take a pay cut if you could.

I wouldn't. It is sad but unfortunately it is their problem to solve.

Laurel

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I read your post like this:

I would love to help them out more but we are in a tight financial situation now and truly can't afford a pay cut. I have a long waiting list so there is no issue there. I feel really bad for them and wish I could offer part time or reduced rates until dcd gets a job, but I truly can't.

That hardly sounds heartless to me.

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I agree with previous comments that you do not sound heartless and that you need to put your family first.

Here is what happened to me when the recession hit two of my families:
I kept their spaces (3) at half pay and allowed them to come their full schedules. This went on for several months.

Then, family 1 aged out and child went to school. No problem, but no special gratitude for what I'd done either. No biggie.

Family 2 kept asking for more and more 'free' or 'special' services. Two-parent working family both with very good incomes. (I am single and support this household solely on my childcare income.)
They still want 'special' and 'free'. Older child is in school (does not come here for before/after) and they want to schedule days for her to 'visit' here - all day, several days during winter break.
I said sure, and quoted the fee, which I lowered because she is school-age. (I don't normally do school-age care.)
They have dropped the subject

So, no, you are not heartless, but neither do you have an obligation to give away your family's financial well-being to someone who may or may not appreciate what you've done.

They think you are a business, and are making a business decision. So you should It doesn't mean you don't feel bad for their situation. It just means you cannot and should not be the person to keep them afloat. That is a job for their family.

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ok I read PP post wrong.

I agree with all of the PP's.

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Like others have mentioned, you do feel bad for the family, you would help them if you could, so you are not heartless. You have to take care of yourself. If you are not in a financial position to help them, you certainly do financial harm to your own family to help them. I have, when I had extra money, given a space out for free for a family in need. But, when times got hard on me, I did not offer any help to others. You help others when you can. At this time, you just can't. You're still a nice person.

I would plan on filling that child's space with another child as soon as they are no longer able to pay your regular rate. I would let the family know that when they get a job, they are welcome to call and see if you have a space available at that time and you would love to have them come back.

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