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cara041083 09:13 AM 04-13-2015
I have a 4 year old that I need to term. Here is the problem. I have had him for almost a month and absolutely refuses to play with anything or anyone. He will sit on the floor and pout all day long. I have spoke to mom and dad several times regarding the issues and nothing has helped. So over the weekend I made the decision to tell the mom today that I was going to give it 2 weeks to get better and if it didn't then I would be terming. Well this morning, the mom walked in and flat out asked me "do you make my son lay down on his mat all day because he doesn't want to play"? I said "no absolutely not"! Then I explained to her that one day last week he woke up from nap and asked if he could go lay back down because he was still tired and I said ok. Well after a few min I went in and checked on him and since he was wide awake I made him come back to the group. She laughed at me and said " ya ok". Well now this kid is sitting on my floor crying and saying that all the kids are being mean to him and no one will play with him. However I keep watching the other kids ask him to play and he keeps telling them hes to tired to play and to leave him alone. When I try to talk to him about it he tells me he doesn't understand what I am saying. Now all I can think of is what is this kid going to tell his parents tonight, or tomorrow, or the next day. I believe in my gut that I need to term but now I am worried if I do that It will make me look like I did do something wrong and I didn't. Should I call my licencor to be prepared? Or should I give it a week? What is the best way to handle it. I have never had a child tell lies like this.
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Shell 09:47 AM 04-13-2015
This is really tricky.

I don't blame you for feeling a little nervous about what type of tale he will come up with next. I also know what you mean about feeling like you will look guilty, even though there's no reason to.

It sounds like dcm might know he makes stuff up, but it can be dangerous for you.

I've done it before, and it feels crappy sometimes, but you might have to term with no notice.

Maybe keep it simple with "it's not a good fit and you feel dcb might do better in a different environment" ?
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laundrymom 10:31 AM 04-13-2015
I would send her a video.
Let her know this is typical behavior for him and suggest a smaller group for him.
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KIDZRMYBIZ 10:32 AM 04-13-2015
You could make a video recording of what you described here, then show it to DCM when she picks up. All kids can act so very differently when not with mom and dad, and they have probably NOT seen him be so withdrawn. If anything, it will be evidence of exactly what the problem is (her kid and nothing else), and let her know nicely and professionally that it is for her and her son to fix within 2 weeks. If not, then it will be obvious that your program is not a good fit for them...and that's okay. Daycare is like parenting-different strokes for different folks!
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KIDZRMYBIZ 10:33 AM 04-13-2015
Laundrymom and I were thinking alike!
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Unregistered 01:20 PM 04-13-2015
I would take a few videos at different times
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nannyde 03:09 PM 04-13-2015
Is he on a tablet at home?
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cara041083 04:27 PM 04-13-2015
Originally Posted by nannyde:
Is he on a tablet at home?
I am not sure and I will ask. I spoke to mom at and she said that he is never like this anywhere so I showed her the video of him acting like that and she said she would talk to his dad tonight and then every other parent walked in so that is where it ended. I will speak to her more in the morning. My guess is this isn't the first time she has heard this. I am to the point that I don't even want to give two weeks notice. Today he cried all day and kept telling me his legs were tired and he couldn't play. He sat on my floor from the time he got here to the time he left. I just don't think it will get better.
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Ariana 04:44 PM 04-13-2015
I had a much younger child (20 months) acting like this and it really was due to being way overtired. At home the kid was getting the bulk of his sleep at nap and not at night. The child was literally a zombie here. As an example you know when you blow bubbles for kids and they get all excited and jump around popping bubbles? He would literally just sit and look at the bubbles. He wouldn't even move if they fell on his face. Anyway I spoke to the mom and suggested she put him to bed earlier and voila! He is like a different kid now!! He is only here two days a week though so it may not be your issues but something to consider. I usually blame a lot of these types of behaviours on lack of sleep.
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Tags:bad fit, terming
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