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Old 12-06-2019, 04:53 AM
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Ac114 Ac114 is online now
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A little backstory first: single mom to 5 yr old DCG was getting dropped off by family members in the morning right at 7am. My hours are 7am-5:30pm. Family member that was helping moved to a different state a little over a month ago so mom asked if she could bring DCG at 6:30. She said I donít want to switch daycares, DCG is thriving here, she loves you blah blah blah. I said I could help out for a short period of time but she will Eventually need to find someone to help with dropoffs because I canít do 6:30 indefinitely. I have 3 children of my own, 2 of them in school so the mornings are a little hectic. So Iíve been opening up at 6:30 for a little over a month for free because I have felt bad with her being a single mom and trying to make ends meet etc.
Fast forward to today:
Mom ďhurry, get in, I have to run home before work because I forgot something at home! Love you! (They live 20 minutes south of here)
Me: oh wow, you better hurry youíre gonna be late.
Mom: oh I wonít be late, I actually get to work 20 or so minutes early so I can have me time and drink my coffee in peace.

Ummm hold up? What? Iíve been opening 30 minutes early for free for you to enjoy your coffee in peace. I am seeing red I am so mad right now. Iím putting a stop to it today. Do I mention the me time comment? Just says itís not working out?ill gladly open at 6:30 for 10 extra dollars a day, do I add that part? Iím trying to hard to not just be super rude and just be professional but get my point across. Help!
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Old 12-06-2019, 05:17 AM
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Ariana Ariana is online now
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Yup, thatís single moms for you!! I would confront her and ask her why she needs you to open if it is just to go into work to drink coffee? Then offer her the option of paying (if you want to) or tell her that you only did it because you were under the impression she needed to be at work. Let her know that the early drop off ends today and Monday will be usual time.

Now you know what kind of person she is and stop doing favours for people, even single moms with sob stories! Been there done that
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Old 12-06-2019, 06:17 AM
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Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
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I've been in a similar situation before and it sucks to find out you've been taken advantage of.

What I do is set my hours and observe them.
If I don't clients wont.
If I allow time outside my regular hours I charge for it.
I charge enough so that NO MATTER the reason a parent is using or needing the extra time I feel compensated.

If I begin to feel used or can't provide the extra time I simply tell the parent it no longer works and I stop.

The idea that DCG is thriving with you or that you like the family etc isn't really relevant as a business.

Don't take the "me time" comment personally.

You allowed yourself to be swayed by her situation (single mom etc) and we've all done it before so it's a good lesson that "most" (NOT all) parents will take if you allow it.

NEVER do anything outside of your normal services that you won't normally do for any reason.

This is one of those areas where you must separate the emotional aspects of this profession from the business part of it.

A wise friend once said;

"~to be responsible, keep your promises to others.
~to be successful, keep your promises to yourself."


That has helped me separate business from emotion many times over the years.
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Old 12-06-2019, 08:06 AM
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rosieteddy rosieteddy is online now
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I would call her on it.I would say starting Monday there will be an additional fee of 15 dollars a day for 6:30 -7am.I would want the fee in cash for the week at drop off. That would be 75 extra dollars a week.If she doesn't need the early drop off then you have a less busy morning. I would explain that you have done it for free hoping she would make other arrangements. Explain that it is not fair to your other clients.I surely would want to be compensated for that time.
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Old 12-06-2019, 08:22 AM
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Be prepared for her to say that it was a joke or that sheís actually working while drinking coffee. I would
Stick with a response that explains opening early doesnt work for you anymore and after so n so date you can no longer open at 6:30.
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Old 12-06-2019, 08:25 AM
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It is a bitter pill, I know.

Years of this is why I don't sugar coat and call them out immediately. I got jokes, sure. I give them love and support, sure. But I don't let them mistreat my home, my family or me.

You have two choices, now. Charge her for her me time. Take away her me time. Granted you could term, but more than likely this is a repairable issue.

I learned single moms have the most resources at their disposal and are the least likely to appreciate them. Change your mindset to "we have to teach single mom's to be tough young, not get them accustomed to the easy path". It gets harder as the kids get older and people are tired of helping so avoid her, altogether. The chance of finding a healthy relationship gets harder as the kid's age, too. SA's/Pre-teens/Teens don't welcome new parental figures easily. Teach her to fish, early... Tough love from one woman to another for the future.
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  #7  
Old 12-06-2019, 09:32 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I've been in a similar situation before and it sucks to find out you've been taken advantage of.

What I do is set my hours and observe them.
If I don't clients wont.
If I allow time outside my regular hours I charge for it.
I charge enough so that NO MATTER the reason a parent is using or needing the extra time I feel compensated.

If I begin to feel used or can't provide the extra time I simply tell the parent it no longer works and I stop.

The idea that DCG is thriving with you or that you like the family etc isn't really relevant as a business.

Don't take the "me time" comment personally.

You allowed yourself to be swayed by her situation (single mom etc) and we've all done it before so it's a good lesson that "most" (NOT all) parents will take if you allow it.

NEVER do anything outside of your normal services that you won't normally do for any reason.

This is one of those areas where you must separate the emotional aspects of this profession from the business part of it.

A wise friend once said;

"~to be responsible, keep your promises to others.
~to be successful, keep your promises to yourself."


That has helped me separate business from emotion many times over the years.


This is the most important thing I have learned!!
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  #8  
Old 12-06-2019, 09:58 AM
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I like to have my me time too (especially my morning coffee time before I open up) and so Iím super stingy with it and itís extremely rare for me to allow families outside of my operating hours. In the very few instances that Iíve done it the family was given clear dates that it would end and were told theyíd pay an additional $10 per day that it was happening.
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  #9  
Old 12-06-2019, 12:21 PM
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Ac114 Ac114 is online now
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Thank you ladies for the responses! I was still kind and gave her a week to figure things out. She said she would and was thankful I could help her out in the meantime. This was a tough lesson and I will never do overtime for free again!!
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