Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Throwing Self Down, Unsafe Play
daycare 02:06 PM 01-17-2013
I have a dcg that will be 5 in a few days.

over the last week or so she has been throwing herself down on the floor just to have something to do. She does it when we are lining up or today, we were all crossing a street to get to the park and she decided to knock everyone down in the line. We all hold hands and wear our walking alligator harness. I am sooooo not ok with this at all.

I know it was on purpose and she thought that it was funny. She was doing it all day yesterday while at our field trip and the people that worked at the place we were at kept asking her to stop. I eventually had to have her sit out from our field trip yesterday.

I am REALLY really upset about today's incident and when we got to the park, I made her sit our for the first 10 min of play, but she did not care at all. I also told her that it was very unsafe and that it was not ok at all. I told her that I was very upset with the bad decision she had made to do something so dangerous to all of her friends....still nothing.......

Advice here.....Obviously I need to let the parents know about this again....... what can I do to get her to stop? should I have given her a bigger consequence?
Reply
youretooloud 03:13 PM 01-17-2013
I've had two kids that did this. One obviously was flopping for attention. I made her walk in back of everyone "So nobody will trip over you when you flop on the ground....make sure you catch up". She did this every day on the way to school. I was SO mad...but, I had sort of put myself in the position of saying "Go ahead if you must, but walk in back so you don't get in anyone's way". She was fairly cautious (which is how I knew it was for drama)

I guess she did it in line waiting for lunch, and all the kids just stepped forward, then accused her of cutting in line when she tried to get her spot back. She seemed to give it up after that. I think she realized nobody in her world (outside of home) was going to give her attention for it.

The other one would just fall. He'd be standing in line and fall. He'd be sitting on a chair, and fall....it was odd. But, there didn't seem to be any medical reason for it, and he always seemed surprised by it. I didn't pay much attention to it, but I didn't get annoyed either. He's 19 now and still alive, so I guess he outgrew it.
Reply
daycare 03:25 PM 01-17-2013
im not sure why this child is doing this, but I am just wondering how should I talk to the parents about this and getting them to understand how serious this issue is. Today someon could have gotten very very hurt.

This child is old enough to understand how dangerous the street is.


Yesterday when I told that parents that I had to sit their daughter out from the field trip because they could not play safely on their feet, they found it to be funny. The owner of the place we had our field trip did not find it one bit funny and I felt very frustrated at that time, because no matter what I did, the child would not listen to me or to the owner.

do you think that it would be fair to say that if they keep doing this that they will not be welcome on any future field trips????
Reply
Starburst 03:29 PM 01-17-2013
Honestly I would say that if she keeps acting up like this then she will need to stay home on field trip days. It's important to make time outs as soon as possible and NOT give her any attention when in time-out; because kids sometimes just want attention but do not care if it is good or bad attention. You can try complimenting her whenever she does behave well (if she does at all). Also, when other kids are listening and she is not just compliment them but do not give her any attention just say outloud to the group "I like how Billy/Suzy is .....(whatever everyone should be doing)" and acknowledge every child that is behaving but not the child that is misbehaving- until she does behave. This is a good type of peer pressure that lets them know what is expected.

And yes I would tell the parents because she is hurting other children. Just do not say it directly infront of the child because- 1) it is unperfessional and just not right to talk about the child to the parents in front of the child 2) If she is trying to get attention then that will just egg her on to act up more because she will think "Oh if I act up I will get more of mommy/daddy/teacher's attention". And this is also a way to get them to know that she is showing in appropraite behavior because most kindergardens what kids to beable to get along with others and not cause safety hazards (such as tripping others purposly). Also if this behavior continues you may need to term her because you need to think about the safety of the other children.
Reply
daycare 03:34 PM 01-17-2013
I am all for being proactive about this..... I am great at making sure I tell the kids wow what a great line you guys have here. You look just like those cute penguins we watched in the video. NOw lets see if we can do a penguin march too.........

This child does not have other behavioral issues and normally does well majority of the day.
Reply
daycare 03:35 PM 01-17-2013
I forgot to add that I do have an asst that if needed the child could always stay behind with him.
Reply
Crystal 04:54 PM 01-17-2013
Yup, I would exclude from field trips until she discontinues this behavior. I wouldn't hesitate for one second to tell the parents, and to demand that they take it more seriously.
Reply
MarinaVanessa 05:37 PM 01-17-2013
I agree with excluding her from field trips however if she were my DCK then she would need to be excluded almost every day because we go out on walks almost daily.

I thought about what I would do personally if she were my DC child and at this point if I saw no seriousness or understanding of the severity of the problem then I would become this child's shadow, or rather this child would become my shadow.

During walks outside of the limits of my property I would put a child harness on her and keep the lead around my wrist and hold her hand at all times when outside near any streets. If I had to push my stroller I would keep the lead loop around my wrist and require that the DCG hold on to the stroller while walking directly next to me at all times.

If she "flopped" on the floor I would pick her up and keep her moving. If she refused to walk I would get on my cell phone and call DCM or DCD at work and have her picked up.

"Hi Sally, I'm sorry to have to call you at work but I need you to pick up little Suzie right away. We're out on {STREET} and she keeps throwing herself on the floor in the middle of the street and it's extremely unsafe. She refuses to get up or walk and I can't have that especially when we are in public and she's creating an extremely unsafe situation for herself, me and the other children"

If she does this at any other times I would have her stay by my side at all times no matter what I was doing but in essence ignore her. Go about your day but require her to remain near you and under your direct supervision at all times. If you need to wash dishes have her sit in a chair near you with a book while the others play. If she throws herself on the floor let her and don't mention it as long as she stays in the area that you had her sit. It'll get old, trust me. She probably just thinks it's funny and is enjoying the attention, make it so that her attention grabbing method isn't rewarding. Each time she flops on the floor remove her from the area and have her sit away from the other kids to do her own activity (hopefully not nearly as fun as what the others are doing).
Reply
Crazy In Mo 05:49 PM 01-17-2013
What a brat! I would allow her to go on the field trips but if she flopped on the way then she would sit the ENTIRE time at the park or wherever.
Reply
daycare 05:57 PM 01-17-2013
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
I agree with excluding her from field trips however if she were my DCK then she would need to be excluded almost every day because we go out on walks almost daily.

I thought about what I would do personally if she were my DC child and at this point if I saw no seriousness or understanding of the severity of the problem then I would become this child's shadow, or rather this child would become my shadow.

During walks outside of the limits of my property I would put a child harness on her and keep the lead around my wrist and hold her hand at all times when outside near any streets. If I had to push my stroller I would keep the lead loop around my wrist and require that the DCG hold on to the stroller while walking directly next to me at all times.

If she "flopped" on the floor I would pick her up and keep her moving. If she refused to walk I would get on my cell phone and call DCM or DCD at work and have her picked up.

"Hi Sally, I'm sorry to have to call you at work but I need you to pick up little Suzie right away. We're out on {STREET} and she keeps throwing herself on the floor in the middle of the street and it's extremely unsafe. She refuses to get up or walk and I can't have that especially when we are in public and she's creating an extremely unsafe situation for herself, me and the other children"

If she does this at any other times I would have her stay by my side at all times no matter what I was doing but in essence ignore her. Go about your day but require her to remain near you and under your direct supervision at all times. If you need to wash dishes have her sit in a chair near you with a book while the others play. If she throws herself on the floor let her and don't mention it as long as she stays in the area that you had her sit. It'll get old, trust me. She probably just thinks it's funny and is enjoying the attention, make it so that her attention grabbing method isn't rewarding. Each time she flops on the floor remove her from the area and have her sit away from the other kids to do her own activity (hopefully not nearly as fun as what the others are doing).
great advice MV.... I will have to make her my shadow and make sure that she does not ever get the opportunity to take down the rest of the kids with her ever again.

I talked to the DCD and he was soooooo angry he wanted to cancel her bday party that is this weekend......I told him that I didnt think it needed to be taken that far but I wanted the parents also talk to her about how dangerous it is.... looks like she lost TV for the night.....


as for sitting out the whole time at the park, i did her sit out, but in my eyes, she needs to have exercise and the ability to let out all of her willies, sillies, energy, whatever you want to call it. forcing her to sit down the entire time I think would not be beneficial to her in the end....
Reply
My3cents 05:48 AM 01-18-2013
Originally Posted by Starburst:
Honestly I would say that if she keeps acting up like this then she will need to stay home on field trip days. It's important to make time outs as soon as possible and NOT give her any attention when in time-out; because kids sometimes just want attention but do not care if it is good or bad attention. You can try complimenting her whenever she does behave well (if she does at all). Also, when other kids are listening and she is not just compliment them but do not give her any attention just say outloud to the group "I like how Billy/Suzy is .....(whatever everyone should be doing)" and acknowledge every child that is behaving but not the child that is misbehaving- until she does behave. This is a good type of peer pressure that lets them know what is expected.

And yes I would tell the parents because she is hurting other children. Just do not say it directly infront of the child because- 1) it is unperfessional and just not right to talk about the child to the parents in front of the child 2) If she is trying to get attention then that will just egg her on to act up more because she will think "Oh if I act up I will get more of mommy/daddy/teacher's attention". And this is also a way to get them to know that she is showing in appropraite behavior because most kindergardens what kids to beable to get along with others and not cause safety hazards (such as tripping others purposly). Also if this behavior continues you may need to term her because you need to think about the safety of the other children.
I don't agree with this- I think it lets a child know that both parents and provider are on board with the behavior and want it to stop.
Reply
lolaland 06:54 AM 01-18-2013
Whenever I have a kid that behaves poorly in our outings, I will not allow that kid to join us on our next outing. I will call my assistant (and this is the only time I use an assistant services - my brother) to stay in the daycare with the child and I explain to the child why he will not be comming. We all take a serious risk when we take kids outside of the daycare premises and I will not risk again taking that specific child until I can trust he will behave appropriately again. I also explain this to the parents and ask them to enforce the message at home with the child.
Reply
countrymom 07:07 AM 01-18-2013
for nonsense like this, it requires punishment. I run a no nonsense approach daycare. I don't put up with this.

-outings, you misbehave, you don't get to come
-throw your self at the park, you get to sit with me the whole entire time
-you want to hurt the kids, you are my shadow and I will hold your hand

really this issue is fixable. Even if the parents are not on board you can prevent it happening it your daycare.
Reply
daycarediva 11:02 AM 01-18-2013
Originally Posted by My3cents:
I don't agree with this- I think it lets a child know that both parents and provider are on board with the behavior and want it to stop.
I agree, I always use "I will tell Mom about this behavior." trump card. I don't use it often, the behavior would have to be serious, like in OP's circumstance, and I would make SURE the child was paying attention to what was happening. This also allows an immediate interaction between parent & child. The parent usually acknowledges the behavior negatively or inquires about it to the child which reinforces that the behavior is B A D.
Reply
Play Care 11:19 AM 01-18-2013
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
I agree, I always use "I will tell Mom about this behavior." trump card. I don't use it often, the behavior would have to be serious, like in OP's circumstance, and I would make SURE the child was paying attention to what was happening. This also allows an immediate interaction between parent & child. The parent usually acknowledges the behavior negatively or inquires about it to the child which reinforces that the behavior is B A D.
BUT I think it only works if the parents are going to take it seriously. The op already said the parents found it amusing - so it could backfire if provider once again mentions it to mom and mom laughs about it. Now the child is getting the message that mom finds her behavior funny and continues to do it.
Reply
countrymom 11:52 AM 01-18-2013
the problem is that when it happens at your house you need to deal with it right away, by the time you wait and tell mom the child will forget about and any punishment will not make sense to them. Its happens all the time at school.
Reply
Tags:5 year old, bad behavior - action plan, consequences, unsafe
Reply Up