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KIDZRMYBIZ 12:26 PM 02-26-2014
Is it really only Wednesday? Sigh...

Early Tue morning, DCM calls me:

Her: DCB (1yo) is running a fever this morning, 101.9-102.3, so I wasn't sure if I should bring him to daycare.

Me: (calm voice) Anytime a child is running a fever, they should be kept at home. The fever says that something's going on, and he must be miserable.

Her: That's just it. He's running around here as though everything's good.

Me: Well, he probably won't be for long. That's a high fever. I hope he feels better soon. Don't forget he needs to be fever-free without meds for 24 hours before he comes back to daycare.

Her: I'm sure it's just a reaction to his MMR shot. I'm sure we'll keep him home for nothing.

((FYI: He had his shots last Monday. He is not reacting 8 (eight!) days later. I did not bother to argue this.))

Me: Let's hope whatever it is runs its course quickly. I will let you know if anyone else has symptoms.

Then, of course, guess who shows up this morning, with dad. I told him I was so surprised to see him, as DCM told me at 7am yesterday he had 102 fever, 24-hour policy, yadda-yadda. He says, "It was the weirdest thing. It just disappeared right after that and he was fine all day."

Sure. I know I'm being lied to. DCB could have used a recovery day at home. He had 2 nasty poops right off the bat, then slept from 9:15-12:10. I just put him back down at 1pm with the others, and he's asleep again. No fever. I'm thinking if I let him sleep all day, and he keeps them up all night, they will think twice about not keeping him home when they should/could have.

Then, yesterday, another DCM tells me she goes to the gym every day before she picks up. I had suspected this, but really didn't want to know that that was indeed the case. Blah to working parents that don't spend the little waking time they can with their kids. I have no respect for it.

Vent over. DNF day tomorrow! Come on, weekend!
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LadyPearl 12:51 PM 02-26-2014
I have a family that brings kids when dcm is home for the day or going to work late. I don't understand because why have dcd get kids up and out the door in the frigid temps that we have been having. They know I have to load them up every day to do school drop-offs and pick-ups. Dh says they're paying, but to me, that's not the point! Kids are with me when mom is home. I texted her to ask a question and she called and sounded like I woke her up. Why get the kids up so early and have the other parent do the whole daycare thing when the other parent is home?!! I wouldn't expect my husband to do that!
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KIDZRMYBIZ 01:05 PM 02-26-2014
I can't believe I forgot to add my third gripe:

My little 6mo DCG does not get buckled into her carseat by DCD. They do live close in our suburban neighborhood (I'm on the corner, so up the block, turn, then all the way down that street which is 2 blocks I believe), but I DON'T CARE! That is LAZY and STUPID! STUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPID! I've seen it twice now, but if I say something he'll just lie and sat he does/undoes it in the car. I'm thinking of saying something to mom. It really bugs me.
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KIDZRMYBIZ 01:13 PM 02-26-2014
I'm with ya, LadyPearl. I have one DCD that gets quite pissy at his wife when he has to drop their 2 off on her 2 days off each week. They live about 80 blocks from me, and I'm on his way to work downtown, so it does save quite a bit of gas than if she did, but I'm sure it irritates him to get them out so early and extend his drive time. Not my marital battle to fight, and I certainly don't respect it. Of my 8 kids from 6 families, only 1 keeps their boy home with them when they are not at work or school (and they are in their very early 20s, so kudos to them!)
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CraftyMom 01:26 PM 02-26-2014
I have a dad that drops dcb off here says bye Daddy's running late gotta go, while dcb is crying for him and I say "Daddy has to work he'll be back." Then when I'm posting pics on fb later I see dad's posts about being at the gym for 3 hours or going bowling or whatever...at least once a week! Poor dcb wants Daddy who rushes off to have an alone day ugh!
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TwinKristi 01:48 PM 02-26-2014
Originally Posted by KIDZRMYBIZ:
I can't believe I forgot to add my third gripe:

My little 6mo DCG does not get buckled into her carseat by DCD. They do live close in our suburban neighborhood (I'm on the corner, so up the block, turn, then all the way down that street which is 2 blocks I believe), but I DON'T CARE! That is LAZY and STUPID! STUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPID! I've seen it twice now, but if I say something he'll just lie and sat he does/undoes it in the car. I'm thinking of saying something to mom. It really bugs me.
That's a reportable offenses here and I had 1 dad do it, he only lived like 1/4-1/8 mi away but still driving on city streets, and had kids without seatbelts or carseats. I told him if I saw it again I had to report him and that was a final warning. I'm sure they did it again but not to my house.
I would document and keep a copy in their file.
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Blackcat31 02:11 PM 02-26-2014
Originally Posted by KIDZRMYBIZ:
I can't believe I forgot to add my third gripe:

My little 6mo DCG does not get buckled into her carseat by DCD. They do live close in our suburban neighborhood (I'm on the corner, so up the block, turn, then all the way down that street which is 2 blocks I believe), but I DON'T CARE! That is LAZY and STUPID! STUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPID! I've seen it twice now, but if I say something he'll just lie and sat he does/undoes it in the car. I'm thinking of saying something to mom. It really bugs me.
This is something that a mandated reporter HAS to report.

If you don't want to go there, then tell mom TODAY that you HAVE to report it so after yesterday, it cannot happen again.

YOU can be held liable if the child gets injured and you knew but didn't report.
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TwinKristi 02:31 PM 02-26-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
This is something that a mandated reporter HAS to report.

If you don't want to go there, then tell mom TODAY that you HAVE to report it so after yesterday, it cannot happen again.

YOU can be held liable if the child gets injured and you knew but didn't report.
Exactly! God forbid that child gets injured and you knew, you could be held liable.
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spud912 02:44 PM 02-26-2014
I hear ya. Is it just me or is this week draaaagggging????
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spud912 02:48 PM 02-26-2014
Originally Posted by TwinKristi:
That's a reportable offenses here and I had 1 dad do it, he only lived like 1/4-1/8 mi away but still driving on city streets, and had kids without seatbelts or carseats. I told him if I saw it again I had to report him and that was a final warning. I'm sure they did it again but not to my house.
I would document and keep a copy in their file.
My sister-in-law never buckles in her kids....and she drives for hours on California freeways . She claims she has her kids "trained" to look for police so they can buckle up quickly. Number 1 reason (among many others) why I don't want my kids in a car with her .
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TwinKristi 02:51 PM 02-26-2014
Originally Posted by spud912:
My sister-in-law never buckles in her kids....and she drives for hours on California freeways . She claims she has her kids "trained" to look for police so they can buckle up quickly. Number 1 reason (among many others) why I don't want my kids in a car with her .
OMG! what city is she in? If she's close by I will call on her! LOL Sadly they're trained to look for cops not an upcoming accident when they'll be ejected from the windows and dead on the side of the highway. Parents like that make me sick. I can sometimes understand new parents who don't understand the whole "20lbs and 1yr" and just go by 20lbs or don't have the right car seat for the age, because at least they're trying... But when you KNOW and don't buckle or use carseats? Ugh!! Makes me mad! We're supposed to protect our young, not endanger them.
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spud912 03:11 PM 02-26-2014
Originally Posted by TwinKristi:
OMG! what city is she in? If she's close by I will call on her! LOL Sadly they're trained to look for cops not an upcoming accident when they'll be ejected from the windows and dead on the side of the highway. Parents like that make me sick. I can sometimes understand new parents who don't understand the whole "20lbs and 1yr" and just go by 20lbs or don't have the right car seat for the age, because at least they're trying... But when you KNOW and don't buckle or use carseats? Ugh!! Makes me mad! We're supposed to protect our young, not endanger them.
Yeah, seriously.....she has a classic case of "oh it would never happen to me." Hello? California it's not a matter of "if" it's a matter of "when" you get in a car accident. She is up in Vallejo but drives all over the place around there. I still remember one time she picked up my dh and me at the airport (this was before we had children) and her youngest was in a car seat. He was probably 12 months old or so at the time. Well, at one point she stepped on the breaks and the WHOLE seat went flying forward ! She kept claiming that her older son must have unbuckled it. Yeah right! We know how she is! I bet she threw the seat into the car right before heading to the airport because she knows we would give her a hard time about car safety. Poor kid was face planted into the van floor!
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SunnyDay 04:49 PM 02-26-2014
Originally Posted by KIDZRMYBIZ:
Is it really only Wednesday? Sigh...

Early Tue morning, DCM calls me:

Her: DCB (1yo) is running a fever this morning, 101.9-102.3, so I wasn't sure if I should bring him to daycare.

Me: (calm voice) Anytime a child is running a fever, they should be kept at home. The fever says that something's going on, and he must be miserable.

Her: That's just it. He's running around here as though everything's good.
Why did you think to take his temperature, DCM, if he was running around like everything was fine?
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TwinKristi 05:09 PM 02-26-2014
Originally Posted by spud912:
Yeah, seriously.....she has a classic case of "oh it would never happen to me." Hello? California it's not a matter of "if" it's a matter of "when" you get in a car accident. She is up in Vallejo but drives all over the place around there. I still remember one time she picked up my dh and me at the airport (this was before we had children) and her youngest was in a car seat. He was probably 12 months old or so at the time. Well, at one point she stepped on the breaks and the WHOLE seat went flying forward ! She kept claiming that her older son must have unbuckled it. Yeah right! We know how she is! I bet she threw the seat into the car right before heading to the airport because she knows we would give her a hard time about car safety. Poor kid was face planted into the van floor!
Vallejo is like 45 min away from me that's so awful though!! Sad sad sad!
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KIDZRMYBIZ 07:26 AM 02-27-2014
As everyone probably predicted, DCB slept for the entire 2 hour quiet time, and when I got him up he felt pretty warm. As I changed his diaper and offered a cup/bottle, he grew warmer and warmer. Took temp in ear, and it was 102.1! I called DCM to pick up, and she said they did give him Tylenol in the morning. I told her that was such a bad idea, as it could mask something very serious, and certainly covers up an illness when he should be at home and not be around my little 6mo DCG.

DCD came to pick up and honestly looked like he might cry. He said his wife said she had the impression that I thought they were trying to deceive me, and that was very much not their intention. Then lots of nice words about me, very sincere, and I was really touched. I told them I believed them and we would chalk it up to a learning experience for them. I also added I would try not to be so jaded (it's what happens to everyone, no matter who you are, in every line of work, no matter what you do, when you've been at it a great number of years.)

On the unbuckled car seat, thank you for the advice about mandated reporting. You know, I should know better than that and not even question what my role is here. I mentioned it to DCM, very matter-of-fact, and she totally understood. She's a nurse, so she knows the rules.

Thank goodness for all of you here! This is all I need to feel like I have several comrades that know where I'm coming from, and I can quit boring my DH with DCF shenanigans. Thanks, ladies and gents!
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boysx5 07:56 AM 02-27-2014
Lazy parenting is what I call they all want the glory of saying they have kids but nobody wants them. I say its like puppies and kittens they like to spend time for a bit once they see they are work their done with them
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misslori50 04:27 PM 02-27-2014
Originally Posted by spud912:
I hear ya. Is it just me or is this week draaaagggging????
yes yes yes
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KIDZRMYBIZ 09:19 AM 03-03-2014
Update: DCB stayed home Thur and Fri (as he should have as stated in my illness policy). Great!

Then, back today, and DCD brought me dr note. They took him in on Thur as he was still fevered and they said his 102.3 fever he ran for at least 3 days was "secondary to MMR vaccination received on 2/17." 9 days before. And not a little fever either. For at least 72 hours. Huh, who knew?
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Blackcat31 09:54 AM 03-03-2014
Originally Posted by KIDZRMYBIZ:
Update: DCB stayed home Thur and Fri (as he should have as stated in my illness policy). Great!

Then, back today, and DCD brought me dr note. They took him in on Thur as he was still fevered and they said his 102.3 fever he ran for at least 3 days was "secondary to MMR vaccination received on 2/17." 9 days before. And not a little fever either. For at least 72 hours. Huh, who knew?
In my experience, Dr's will write whatever a parents needs/asks if it'll get them back into care or school.

Were they trying to tell you that you shouldn't have excluded him since the temp was from the MMR?
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KIDZRMYBIZ 10:16 AM 03-03-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
In my experience, Dr's will write whatever a parents needs/asks if it'll get them back into care or school.

Were they trying to tell you that you shouldn't have excluded him since the temp was from the MMR?
I think so. DCD said he brought it in case any other DCP were worried that he exposed them, but I think it was more to tell me I was making a big deal about nothing. Like he wasn't really "sick." Don't care. If I say he can't come, guess what? He don't come. Don't like it, find another daycare. And they won't let him come with 102 fever either, and will be pi55ed if you try to.

You are probably right about the dr note. I will have to reiterate the "my house, my rules" part of my illness policy.
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Blackcat31 10:21 AM 03-03-2014
Originally Posted by KIDZRMYBIZ:
I think so. DCD said he brought it in case any other DCP were worried that he exposed them, but I think it was more to tell me I was making a big deal about nothing. Like he wasn't really "sick." Don't care. If I say he can't come, guess what? He don't come. Don't like it, find another daycare. And they won't let him come with 102 fever either, and will be pi55ed if you try to.

You are probably right about the dr note. I will have to reiterate the "my house, my rules" part of my illness policy.
My illness policy specifically says that the doctor can't give permission to attend. I only require the doctor to diagnose and I will make the decision if the child can or cant attend.
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Tags:enforcing policies - consistency, stress, venting
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