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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Venting
catinthebox 11:45 PM 01-12-2019
Short backstory, I used to work in the daycenter business, but am now working in a afterschool program as a program leader. I love the job even with these disrespectful kids and the few parents that gives us trouble. quick note, the school is in a low income area

So yesterday, a parent came to one of my co workers and told him that her son had soiled himself this week. Her son has a stomach issue that makes it hard for him to control his bowel movement that results in him soiling himself with just a small movement, so he wears diapers . The child is in my class and my boss had told me that I need to check on him and make sure he goes to the restroom often. Ok, i am doing everything i am suppose to be doing. I always asked him before we enter the class , after snack time, and I even send him to the restroom even when he doesn't. I always pulled him side when i talked to him if he needs to go to the restroom in which he always tells no but I send him anyways.

Back to the story, she tells my co worker that her son soiled himself this week. She starts asking why did this happen, in which my coworker replied " i dont know, i am not his teacher, and also did your son tell his teacher? If he doesn't speak up then its not our fault..". She gets really mad then walks off.

I hear this happening and decided to walk toward her where i am right in her face trying to talk to her and asking her questions. This lady totally ignores me like I wasn't there, and she has always done this to me in general and when i am trying to talk to her about the child day. This lady has issues with the front office and etc... The question i am asking is when did this happen? Through out the whole week she didn't even mention anything about that besides yesterday. My boss and I had told the certain child that we have extract diapers for him if he needs it. I like the kids but i dont like the mom at all, she doesn't show respect toward anybody, comes to the place and make a big deal like we don't know how to operate a site... But i feel pitty for the kids because they are living in a shelter home right now and have moved to 3 or four different schools last year alone before going to my site.

I feel really disrespected by her and just want to tell her off. Like for reals, I dont know her background or her story but I just want to get some communication going between the two of us to help her kids out. The kids come to school with the same clothes almost everyday, I give the kids extract snacks from the left over snacks that we offered in the program. The son that is in my class is always asking if there is seconds and that if he could take some home. The school, my boss, and myself are willing to help them out as much as we can. This job doesn't pay much, i am barely surviving but i am willing to use my own money to get the kids clothes if needed. I am really worried about them because they only wear thin jackets that won't even protected them from the freezing temperature. Its gets really cold even in at 3 in the noon. I just feel really sad that i can't do much to help him...
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Josiegirl 03:30 AM 01-13-2019
She sounds like she's going through a lot and her life is difficult. While that's not your fault or problem, maybe she needs to be handled in a different way. Nonconfrontational, asking if there's anything you can do to help, empathy and understanding. Maybe you could talk with the director and see if there's any way you could make a box of extra clothes, outdoor wear, available to all so as to not single her out. I have a tub I've collected, yard sales, rummage sales, and such. Maybe you could suggest that?
I assume since she's living in a shelter, she's already been steered to local support groups but your director could check on that.
As far as the soiling situation, just be sincere and friendly towards her and explain that you didn't realize; things like that happen; and you'll keep a better eye out. Hopefully if she sees everyone reaching out to help her, her attitude will soften and she won't feel quite so alone and overwhelmed.
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