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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>New 17mo/Refusing To Eat
daycarediva 10:19 AM 09-02-2015
Any tips/tricks or advice?
Home with (80ishyo) grandma for the last few weeks until my opening was available.
She is coming from a center with recent staffing issues, new director, lots of turnover. Mom was getting worried when dcg started freaking out at drop off, sleeping for hours after pickup, she was bit so badly it scarred, some rashes, mom came to pick up an hour early and found her awake in a crib with a dirty diaper. She started to pop in during the day- and found that EVERY TIME dcg was either in a play yard with 1-3 other infants OR in a crib awake. NEVER roaming, even though the room was set up for that. NO other infants were 'out' to explore either. Food was an issue- they refused to allow mom to provide it, but their menu never matched what was being served. Nothing fresh, etc. ALL new since director left, staff dropped like flies after the new director started.
Dcg screamed a good hour day 1 at drop off.
Day 2 10-15 minutes.
Today (day 3) a minute or less, was fine before her mom was in the car. She could hear her stop. Sent me a text saying that made her day.
She was obviously babied. In an infant room, she was the oldest by 6ish months, but wasn't walking so they couldn't move her to the toddler room. She started walking in July. Walks very well. Parents are on board with getting her 'caught up' with self help skills. She does NOT roam around, explore, dump toys.
I have been letting her observe. Not forcing her to do anything, but I don't see any progress. If I put her down on the carpet with ONE toy. I come back to find her on the carpet, not playing with the one toy. I sat with her during free play this morning and showed her how to fill a cup up with foam blocks, dump it, and fill it again. That engaged her somewhat, until another child spoke to me and she shut down completely. Wouldn't reengage or even make eye contact.
She hasn't eaten a BITE in three days. NOTHING. She sits and stares at her plate/the other kids. She self feeds at home, and eats VERY healthy so those aren't the issues.
LOVES outside. Played in the water table today(just splashing).
No smiles. no laughs. minimal eye contact. She doesn't want to engage with the other kids, although she does watch them and follow them around. She has shown preference for one dcg (good choice, a sweetie) so I have been pairing them together for circle, story, meals, activities.
I haven't taken a little in quite a while. My now 3yo was the last child I enrolled at 18m. I definitely feel off my game with her age group. ANY help would be appreciated!
Home with (80ishyo) grandma for the last few weeks until my opening was available.
She is coming from a center with recent staffing issues, new director, lots of turnover. Mom was getting worried when dcg started freaking out at drop off, sleeping for hours after pickup, she was bit so badly it scarred, some rashes, mom came to pick up an hour early and found her awake in a crib with a dirty diaper. She started to pop in during the day- and found that EVERY TIME dcg was either in a play yard with 1-3 other infants OR in a crib awake. NEVER roaming, even though the room was set up for that. NO other infants were 'out' to explore either. Food was an issue- they refused to allow mom to provide it, but their menu never matched what was being served. Nothing fresh, etc. ALL new since director left, staff dropped like flies after the new director started.
Dcg screamed a good hour day 1 at drop off.
Day 2 10-15 minutes.
Today (day 3) a minute or less, was fine before her mom was in the car. She could hear her stop. Sent me a text saying that made her day.
She was obviously babied. In an infant room, she was the oldest by 6ish months, but wasn't walking so they couldn't move her to the toddler room. She started walking in July. Walks very well. Parents are on board with getting her 'caught up' with self help skills. She does NOT roam around, explore, dump toys.
I have been letting her observe. Not forcing her to do anything, but I don't see any progress. If I put her down on the carpet with ONE toy. I come back to find her on the carpet, not playing with the one toy. I sat with her during free play this morning and showed her how to fill a cup up with foam blocks, dump it, and fill it again. That engaged her somewhat, until another child spoke to me and she shut down completely. Wouldn't reengage or even make eye contact.
She hasn't eaten a BITE in three days. NOTHING. She sits and stares at her plate/the other kids. She self feeds at home, and eats VERY healthy so those aren't the issues.
LOVES outside. Played in the water table today(just splashing).
No smiles. no laughs. minimal eye contact. She doesn't want to engage with the other kids, although she does watch them and follow them around. She has shown preference for one dcg (good choice, a sweetie) so I have been pairing them together for circle, story, meals, activities.
I haven't taken a little in quite a while. My now 3yo was the last child I enrolled at 18m. I definitely feel off my game with her age group. ANY help would be appreciated!
Blackcat31 10:39 AM 09-02-2015
Time.
I am betting that is the cure.
She needs to be sure of her new environment before she feels comfortable enough to engage in anything more than observing. Most times that takes time and for those that come from harder more chaotic environments, it takes even more time.
I would just not really give it any attention and she will more than likely come around before you know it.
Good idea paring her up with the one child she does seem to have an interest in. Perhaps the encouragement from a peer is more influential than coming from you.
I assume she goes home and eats no problem? If so, I seriously would not worry about this yet.....
I am betting that is the cure.
She needs to be sure of her new environment before she feels comfortable enough to engage in anything more than observing. Most times that takes time and for those that come from harder more chaotic environments, it takes even more time.
I would just not really give it any attention and she will more than likely come around before you know it.
Good idea paring her up with the one child she does seem to have an interest in. Perhaps the encouragement from a peer is more influential than coming from you.
I assume she goes home and eats no problem? If so, I seriously would not worry about this yet.....
laundrymom 10:39 AM 09-02-2015
My heart aches for this sweetheart. Is she typical at home? Interacting, smiling, playing?
If so I would guess she needs to learn "how" to be a kid in a childcare setting. Not just at home. She needs to trust you. That takes time.
Or are you worried about possible delays?
If so I would guess she needs to learn "how" to be a kid in a childcare setting. Not just at home. She needs to trust you. That takes time.
Or are you worried about possible delays?
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
Any tips/tricks or advice?
Home with (80ishyo) grandma for the last few weeks until my opening was available.
She is coming from a center with recent staffing issues, new director, lots of turnover. Mom was getting worried when dcg started freaking out at drop off, sleeping for hours after pickup, she was bit so badly it scarred, some rashes, mom came to pick up an hour early and found her awake in a crib with a dirty diaper. She started to pop in during the day- and found that EVERY TIME dcg was either in a play yard with 1-3 other infants OR in a crib awake. NEVER roaming, even though the room was set up for that. NO other infants were 'out' to explore either. Food was an issue- they refused to allow mom to provide it, but their menu never matched what was being served. Nothing fresh, etc. ALL new since director left, staff dropped like flies after the new director started.
Dcg screamed a good hour day 1 at drop off.
Day 2 10-15 minutes.
Today (day 3) a minute or less, was fine before her mom was in the car. She could hear her stop. Sent me a text saying that made her day.
She was obviously babied. In an infant room, she was the oldest by 6ish months, but wasn't walking so they couldn't move her to the toddler room. She started walking in July. Walks very well. Parents are on board with getting her 'caught up' with self help skills. She does NOT roam around, explore, dump toys.
I have been letting her observe. Not forcing her to do anything, but I don't see any progress. If I put her down on the carpet with ONE toy. I come back to find her on the carpet, not playing with the one toy. I sat with her during free play this morning and showed her how to fill a cup up with foam blocks, dump it, and fill it again. That engaged her somewhat, until another child spoke to me and she shut down completely. Wouldn't reengage or even make eye contact.
She hasn't eaten a BITE in three days. NOTHING. She sits and stares at her plate/the other kids. She self feeds at home, and eats VERY healthy so those aren't the issues.
LOVES outside. Played in the water table today(just splashing).
No smiles. no laughs. minimal eye contact. She doesn't want to engage with the other kids, although she does watch them and follow them around. She has shown preference for one dcg (good choice, a sweetie) so I have been pairing them together for circle, story, meals, activities.
I haven't taken a little in quite a while. My now 3yo was the last child I enrolled at 18m. I definitely feel off my game with her age group. ANY help would be appreciated!
Any tips/tricks or advice?
Home with (80ishyo) grandma for the last few weeks until my opening was available.
She is coming from a center with recent staffing issues, new director, lots of turnover. Mom was getting worried when dcg started freaking out at drop off, sleeping for hours after pickup, she was bit so badly it scarred, some rashes, mom came to pick up an hour early and found her awake in a crib with a dirty diaper. She started to pop in during the day- and found that EVERY TIME dcg was either in a play yard with 1-3 other infants OR in a crib awake. NEVER roaming, even though the room was set up for that. NO other infants were 'out' to explore either. Food was an issue- they refused to allow mom to provide it, but their menu never matched what was being served. Nothing fresh, etc. ALL new since director left, staff dropped like flies after the new director started.
Dcg screamed a good hour day 1 at drop off.
Day 2 10-15 minutes.
Today (day 3) a minute or less, was fine before her mom was in the car. She could hear her stop. Sent me a text saying that made her day.
She was obviously babied. In an infant room, she was the oldest by 6ish months, but wasn't walking so they couldn't move her to the toddler room. She started walking in July. Walks very well. Parents are on board with getting her 'caught up' with self help skills. She does NOT roam around, explore, dump toys.
I have been letting her observe. Not forcing her to do anything, but I don't see any progress. If I put her down on the carpet with ONE toy. I come back to find her on the carpet, not playing with the one toy. I sat with her during free play this morning and showed her how to fill a cup up with foam blocks, dump it, and fill it again. That engaged her somewhat, until another child spoke to me and she shut down completely. Wouldn't reengage or even make eye contact.
She hasn't eaten a BITE in three days. NOTHING. She sits and stares at her plate/the other kids. She self feeds at home, and eats VERY healthy so those aren't the issues.
LOVES outside. Played in the water table today(just splashing).
No smiles. no laughs. minimal eye contact. She doesn't want to engage with the other kids, although she does watch them and follow them around. She has shown preference for one dcg (good choice, a sweetie) so I have been pairing them together for circle, story, meals, activities.
I haven't taken a little in quite a while. My now 3yo was the last child I enrolled at 18m. I definitely feel off my game with her age group. ANY help would be appreciated!
daycarediva 10:45 AM 09-02-2015
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Time.
I am betting that is the cure.
She needs to be sure of her new environment before she feels comfortable enough to engage in anything more than observing. Most times that takes time and for those that come from harder more chaotic environments, it takes even more time.
I would just not really give it any attention and she will more than likely come around before you know it.
Good idea paring her up with the one child she does seem to have an interest in. Perhaps the encouragement from a peer is more influential than coming from you.
I assume she goes home and eats no problem? If so, I seriously would not worry about this yet.....
Yup. I have been honest with the parents about her transition and I knew going in it was going to take more time than a typical child her age since her environments/caregivers haven't been the greatest. Time.
I am betting that is the cure.
She needs to be sure of her new environment before she feels comfortable enough to engage in anything more than observing. Most times that takes time and for those that come from harder more chaotic environments, it takes even more time.
I would just not really give it any attention and she will more than likely come around before you know it.
Good idea paring her up with the one child she does seem to have an interest in. Perhaps the encouragement from a peer is more influential than coming from you.
I assume she goes home and eats no problem? If so, I seriously would not worry about this yet.....
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
My heart aches for this sweetheart. Is she typical at home? Interacting, smiling, playing?
If so I would guess she needs to learn "how" to be a kid in a childcare setting. Not just at home. She needs to trust you. That takes time.
Or are you worried about possible delays?
Yes, the second she sees her mom at pickup, she screams/cries (release of emotion, I assume) , runs to her, says "UP!" and jabbers. ALL smiles. She was also a very different child at interview in spring. Cruising around and exploring, laughing and saying BOO and peeking over the back of the couch at me. Baby flirting, it's SOOO cute. Mom was communicating the issues with former childcare over the summer with me. I couldn't take her/ratio issues until now and Mom didn't want her to go from childcare/childcare PT/grandma PT/me FT within 2 months. So she went with grandma, and even great, loving basic, consistent care is better then all of that transitioning. (grandma has limited mobility, so caring for DCG was a challenge. Dcg spent a lot of time being gated into one area and on grandmas lap. My heart aches for this sweetheart. Is she typical at home? Interacting, smiling, playing?
If so I would guess she needs to learn "how" to be a kid in a childcare setting. Not just at home. She needs to trust you. That takes time.
Or are you worried about possible delays?
Dcg isn't crying throughout the day, she naps like a champ, it just breaks my heart and I want to do everything I can to make this easiest on her.
BabyMonkeys 12:43 PM 09-02-2015
Will she eat if you feed her? That poor little girl. I'm sure once she realizes you can be trusted she will open up.
Heidi 02:57 PM 09-02-2015
Ok...I have to admit that I have, on occasion, offered candy (or fruit snacks), or a lollipop to the children when I have one like this. It seems to open the flood gates. Once they eat ONCE, they can again.
Maybe home-made yogurt pops, real juice pops, or a very small serving of M& M's.
Worth a try....
Maybe home-made yogurt pops, real juice pops, or a very small serving of M& M's.
Worth a try....
daycarediva 04:11 AM 09-03-2015
Originally Posted by angelw2babies:
Will she eat if you feed her? That poor little girl. I'm sure once she realizes you can be trusted she will open up.
Nope, she shuts her mouth. I even had the dcg she seems to like offer her a piece of strawberry yesterday (her favorite food at home). No go. Will she eat if you feed her? That poor little girl. I'm sure once she realizes you can be trusted she will open up.
Originally Posted by Heidi:
Ok...I have to admit that I have, on occasion, offered candy (or fruit snacks), or a lollipop to the children when I have one like this. It seems to open the flood gates. Once they eat ONCE, they can again.
Maybe home-made yogurt pops, real juice pops, or a very small serving of M& M's.
Worth a try....
I'll give it a shot. If she was a bit older, I wouldn't worry so much, but she's so tiny and eating breakfast, lunch and snack here. So she has only eaten dinner in 3 days! Ok...I have to admit that I have, on occasion, offered candy (or fruit snacks), or a lollipop to the children when I have one like this. It seems to open the flood gates. Once they eat ONCE, they can again.
Maybe home-made yogurt pops, real juice pops, or a very small serving of M& M's.
Worth a try....
Blackcat31 05:38 AM 09-03-2015
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
I'll give it a shot. If she was a bit older, I wouldn't worry so much, but she's so tiny and eating breakfast, lunch and snack here. So she has only eaten dinner in 3 days!
Since she is still adjusting and mom is aware that you are having eating issues, I'd ask mom to please make sure she feeds her a good hearty breakfast BEFORE she arrives. I'll give it a shot. If she was a bit older, I wouldn't worry so much, but she's so tiny and eating breakfast, lunch and snack here. So she has only eaten dinner in 3 days!
She may be more willing to join in and participate if she is full already and feeling good.
rosieteddy 07:54 AM 09-03-2015
I second this aatell mom to feed her breakfast at home. She just needs to get used to all this new stuff.I always told parents the older child needs time to adjust. Its like an adult in a new office trying to get used to new things.
daycarediva 10:16 AM 09-03-2015
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Since she is still adjusting and mom is aware that you are having eating issues, I'd ask mom to please make sure she feeds her a good hearty breakfast BEFORE she arrives.
She may be more willing to join in and participate if she is full already and feeling good.
Great suggestion! Since she is still adjusting and mom is aware that you are having eating issues, I'd ask mom to please make sure she feeds her a good hearty breakfast BEFORE she arrives.
She may be more willing to join in and participate if she is full already and feeling good.
I got her to eat yogurt drops today! Just vanilla greek yogurt frozen on wax paper. I made them as a treat for a morning snack (which we rarely eat, but I have been offering fun/special foods mid morning this week to try to coax dcg to eat)
THEN, she ate some lunch! On her own! Happily sitting at the table (with me, but I'll take any progress!)
Sunshine74 10:21 AM 09-03-2015
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
Great suggestion!
I got her to eat yogurt drops today! Just vanilla greek yogurt frozen on wax paper. I made them as a treat for a morning snack (which we rarely eat, but I have been offering fun/special foods mid morning this week to try to coax dcg to eat)
THEN, she ate some lunch! On her own! Happily sitting at the table (with me, but I'll take any progress!)
Great suggestion!
I got her to eat yogurt drops today! Just vanilla greek yogurt frozen on wax paper. I made them as a treat for a morning snack (which we rarely eat, but I have been offering fun/special foods mid morning this week to try to coax dcg to eat)
THEN, she ate some lunch! On her own! Happily sitting at the table (with me, but I'll take any progress!)
Go dcg!