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Old 05-05-2021, 07:02 AM
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I need help before I hate my job!

I logged out for privacy reasons.

I have been feeling so unappreciated, lately. It is teacher appreciation week, and while I don't expect anything, it hurts to have a dcm tell me about all the gifts she got for dcg preschool teachers (where dcg goes for a couple hours in the afternoon), when I do more than they do and have cared for dck since she was an infant.

We are spending a lot of money on some new things and I was so excited to tell dcp, most were thankful, but a couple didn't even acknowledge it.

I'm closing for a bit in the summer, and it's comments and looks from a few dcf, like I don't deserve time off.

I was about in tears last night wondering why I go above and put so much into my job for people who couldn't care less. It makes me just want to do the bare minimum and not worry about it anymore.

Is this just the way it is? Any advice on how to change my outlook?
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Old 05-05-2021, 08:35 AM
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Come join us at the new site

https://forum.daycare.com

Last edited by Michael; 05-06-2021 at 10:53 PM. Reason: Corrected address
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Old 05-05-2021, 08:46 AM
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I don't want to sound like a downer but you need to lower your expectations of other people. Don't expect them to care and if they do show appreciation then love it.

I never announce purchases, or improvements that I make on my home. They are my clients not my friends not my family. We are a business to them and just like any business make improvements on our business all the time. When I go into the grocery store I don't thank the owner for changing the light bulb putting in new lighting or buying new registers those are things that grocery store owners do to keep their business nice and their clients coming back.

No double standards, if you want to be treated like a business then you can't complain when they treat you like a business.
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Old 05-05-2021, 08:48 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
I need help before I hate my job!

I logged out for privacy reasons.

I have been feeling so unappreciated, lately. It is teacher appreciation week, and while I don't expect anything, it hurts to have a dcm tell me about all the gifts she got for dcg preschool teachers (where dcg goes for a couple hours in the afternoon), when I do more than they do and have cared for dck since she was an infant.

We are spending a lot of money on some new things and I was so excited to tell dcp, most were thankful, but a couple didn't even acknowledge it.

I'm closing for a bit in the summer, and it's comments and looks from a few dcf, like I don't deserve time off.

I was about in tears last night wondering why I go above and put so much into my job for people who couldn't care less. It makes me just want to do the bare minimum and not worry about it anymore.

Is this just the way it is? Any advice on how to change my outlook?
I had this same conversation with my wife yesterday with people in general. I am amazed at how people here complain about the littlest of issues that completed their lives. They have too much in this country to be thankful for. They should be kicking their heels in euphoria.

Those are the types that don’t appreciate something until they lose it. If I’m not appreciated for who I am and what I do for others, I make the choice for them to change their surroundings. They are either gone from my businesses or I leave where they mingle.

I advised friends that if they want to change their destiney, they need to change their surroundings.

Surround yourself with people and clients that appreciate you. Don’t allow those who don’t to define you. Just pity them and move on to a better more productive life. They are not worth your time.

Last edited by Michael; 05-05-2021 at 08:52 AM.
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Old 05-05-2021, 10:05 AM
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I agree with the others. You have to change your mindset. It isn't about the appreciation of the parents, it is about the relationship you build with the kids. Sometimes in spite of the parents.

In 25 years, a kid you may or may not remember might call your name in the grocery store, well up in tears and tell you how much they missed you and still thought about you.

Your family comes first.

Daycare kids second.

Their parents last.

The primary daycare relationship is you and the kid. Keep that front and center and let the rest go by the wayside. Mom's can't appreciate you the way you want. They can't. They are fighting the biological urge to resent you "taking their place" or "one upping them", whether or not they realize it. Dad's cant make a big show of how much they appreciate you either without risking hurting the mothers feelings. They may or may not appreciate it later...
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Old 05-05-2021, 10:17 AM
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Thank you all for your replies!

I totally understand what you all are saying. I think we are in an profession where we give so much of ourselves and make so many sacrifices, and it hurts to not feel appreciated.

It hurts to not get recognized when it is deserved. It hurts when you don't get a "thank you" for a gift you and their child spent so much time and effort on, and it just hurts to not get acknowledged as being an important part of their child's life.

*sigh* I will lower my expectations and learn to not to expect the dcp to care how much time, money, and effort I put into caring for their kids. I'll just know that I made an impact on the kids' life.
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Old 05-05-2021, 12:13 PM
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I agree with everything else that was said. However, it still hurts when you don't feel appreciated. For all you do for the children in your care, you have to believe you're making a difference in their lives; you are doing it for them, and for your family. Parents just don't think sometimes and too many still think childcare providers are the dreaded B word (babysitters).
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