I had a 3 1/2 yr old that started a couple weeks ago, his parents are great I like them alot, but the kid is spoiled and they have no problem admitting it, he is the 6th child I believe and a big oopsie, and they had him in their 50's, they told me straight out they weren't worried about him, they were worried about me keeping him, he's always been home with mom(but she works overnights and really needs to start getting some sleep) gets whatever he wants to eat. I knew it would be challenging, but he also really needs the structure and socialization with kids his own age, I can handle it, but my challenge today is lunch, so far the kid has not eaten a single bite of food here in the 5 days he's been here(part time) I tend to take it a little easier on kids when they first start for a couple days, let them watch how things are done, so today I decided was the day to make him sit for lunch, he has refused to eat at every meal, except he ate snack once, now my rule for the kids is you must take 1 bite of everything, then you can be all done if you like, he threw a big fit just having to sit down for lunch, and I told him he had to take one bite of everything, we had, mashed sweet potatoes, turkey roll ups with cream cheese and spinach and apples. he did take one tiny bite of the apple, and has refused the rest, I even took everyhitng away, but the 1 small bite of pots, and 1 small piece of the roll up......I only have a couple nappers and the rest are down stairs now watching a movie for quiet time, and he could go down there if he took his bites, I'm not sure what to do right now as its been over an hour, and I'm starting to feel like I'm being to mean????? but I don't want to give in on my rule and what I told him, is there I time limit I set? I have NEVER had a kid who wouldn't eat, I have never had a food battle, and I don't make meals a battle, but he is making me now feel like that, I just don't know what to do?

Thank you!

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I used to be this way.

Food program says- I just have to offer it.

That's exactly what I do and if they don't eat it not my problem.

I have to laugh bc it never fails DCK chooses not to eat, gets up from nap and says Miss **** my belly is growling and I say oh my goodness I guess you should've ate your yummy lunch.

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yeah that I know But my rule has always been just to try it, one little bite, and I don't want to make 1 kid the exception to the rule, I did end up letting him down, but he had to lay down on the couch, no movie with the other kids.......but I still feel like he "beat me"

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I have been taking care of many of those kids and as soon as the parents mention on the interview that kid don't eat much I ask what foods they like... I then make a menu that includes one of his choices every other meal of the day. That way I ensure that from the 4 daily meals I serve, at least in 2 of them he will find something he likes. I do not force them to eat anything. I think in these ages of "power struggles", food might be a battle very hard to win. I do make them all seat at the table and then I present the plate with the same choices for every kid. They all stay at the table during the same period of time and they all leave the table at the same time also. So during that time they have the choice to eat or to wait for the others to be done. But playing with the food in that period of time (dump it on the floor as a defiant statement) it is not allowed. In time they start trying new foods of their choice and the menu gets updated to the new "tastes "

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I never, ever force a take to take a bite of food. I have done it in the past a few times and ended up wearing whatever it was. I put the food on the table, it is their choice to eat it or not. (I am not talking about physically forcing them, I'm talking about telling them that they have to eat before getting down.) The child does have to sit quietly at the table, though.

If I know that the child isn't likely to eat, I only give them a small bite. If they eat it, I give more.

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Yeah this kid eats chicken nuggets, mcdonalds, and drinks pop, so not including things he likes, he gagged taking a bite of an apple.

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Maybe if he's made to stay at the table longer and take a nap instead of a movie he'll come around soon. I know it has been a couple of weeks but I bet only have him a couple days a week makes it harder. You are competing with all the other days he isn't there for lunch.

Good luck, food battles can be so frustrating.

K

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If that is your rule then stick with it. The kid needs to learn to eat more than chicken nuggets, McDonalds and soda. He is not going to get that at school. It's sad the parents have caused this problem by giving him what he wants and now you are stuck dealing with it.

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You get to choose what and when they eat.. they get to choose if and how much. I always put everything on their plates but for seconds they need to at least try if not eat their firsts. I generally do this so that they don't fill up on one thing. I make sure they are hungry when we sit down by not feeding after 9am and making sure we get outside in the morning. Oh and lots of plain choices esp. vegies so they can see what they are getting.

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Personally, I'd change the rule. There are two things children can actually control. What goes in their mouth. When it comes out.

Offer the food, let him see what his friends are eating. Move on. This is a long long struggle you won't ever win, so why fight it.

Don't change what you offer. Just don't force him to eat it.

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He needs to come to the table with the others and he needs to sit without making a huge fuss. He does not need to eat. When everyone is done and you go start a movie then you need to let him go with the others.

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See I disagree I think they should try things, i never force a kids to eat all their food, I just require one little bite, when they are saying "thats gross" when they wont even try, my own children would never touch eggs, but they would always take their one required little bite, and now they both ask for seconds, if I never would have had them try them, they still would say they hated them, while I don't agree with forcing kids to eat, seriously taking one tiny bite. Of mashed sweet potatoes,I don't consider that a bad thing at all, I am not talking about making them eat all their food, I'm talking a bite, I serve healthy foods, there are no chicken nuggets and hot dogs here, so kids need to attempt a. taste, he is the first child to ever battle that in 5 years, literally the first.

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Most kids need to see a new food at least 7times before they will try it. Eventually, if they are hungry they will eat. Only offer healthy choices and at regular times so he learns when food will be offered.
It is your choice on weather to stick to your guns or not but I have learned over the past 16 years, there is no winning that battle. Just makes lunchtime miserable. At least that has been my experience.

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