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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>I Don't Like One Of My DCK
Symphony 02:40 PM 03-01-2011
and it breaks my heart 
She is almost 5, has two younger siblings and is completely in charge at her house. She makes all of the decisions! Plans their menu, decides what activities they will do, when everyone goes to bed...an example, DCM wanted to spend a weekend away a few weeks ago, but they couldn't because DCG wouldn't let them
ETA they even let her choose the daycare...the kids went to three different daycares for a week each and then they let her choose which one at the end.
She screams bloody murder at drop off, getting everyone else in tears too. At pickup she tells dcm that she had the worst day of her life. I don't get a break anymore, because if I lay her down she will kick and scream the entire two hours so no one sleeps.
Lots of little things, she whispers in the other kids ears, "isn't that your favorite toy? Why are you letting him play with it?" pointing to another child. Or one of the kids will bump their head and when they cry she'll say, "Your mom isn't here! She might never come back!" So now we are crying for the bump and missing mom...
Then there are the things that make me think...You are four? If a child cries at the table, "She's sad because everything you make us is disgusting" or in the playroom, "She wishes you weren't so mean and really wants her mom".
So today, I lay everyone down, put in a movie for DCG and run to the bathroom. When I come back, she is sitting at the nap room enterance saying, "I know you guys don't want to take a nap, but it is not my choice here, I am not the boss! I woouls love for you to stay up with me, but she says you can't I'm so sorry!"
Are you kidding me???
I have never had such a hard time with a kid before. I seriously dread work now and it breaks my heart. The worst part is that I ADORE her siblings. I don't know what to do. The stress just makes me cry
Thanks for listening.
She is almost 5, has two younger siblings and is completely in charge at her house. She makes all of the decisions! Plans their menu, decides what activities they will do, when everyone goes to bed...an example, DCM wanted to spend a weekend away a few weeks ago, but they couldn't because DCG wouldn't let them
ETA they even let her choose the daycare...the kids went to three different daycares for a week each and then they let her choose which one at the end. She screams bloody murder at drop off, getting everyone else in tears too. At pickup she tells dcm that she had the worst day of her life. I don't get a break anymore, because if I lay her down she will kick and scream the entire two hours so no one sleeps.
Lots of little things, she whispers in the other kids ears, "isn't that your favorite toy? Why are you letting him play with it?" pointing to another child. Or one of the kids will bump their head and when they cry she'll say, "Your mom isn't here! She might never come back!" So now we are crying for the bump and missing mom...
Then there are the things that make me think...You are four? If a child cries at the table, "She's sad because everything you make us is disgusting" or in the playroom, "She wishes you weren't so mean and really wants her mom".
So today, I lay everyone down, put in a movie for DCG and run to the bathroom. When I come back, she is sitting at the nap room enterance saying, "I know you guys don't want to take a nap, but it is not my choice here, I am not the boss! I woouls love for you to stay up with me, but she says you can't I'm so sorry!"
Are you kidding me???
I have never had such a hard time with a kid before. I seriously dread work now and it breaks my heart. The worst part is that I ADORE her siblings. I don't know what to do. The stress just makes me cry
Thanks for listening.
SandeeAR 02:43 PM 03-01-2011
She would have VERY quickly found herself taking a nap in the room with me, WITHOUT TV!
daycare 02:48 PM 03-01-2011
all kids in my care nap.. I would not give in to her game.... if eveyone naps she naps... dont let her reel you in to her little games..
just like the other person said I would have this child laying on a mat by my side with NO tv. once you negoitate it becomes an opportunity for the child to battel you every time....
just like the other person said I would have this child laying on a mat by my side with NO tv. once you negoitate it becomes an opportunity for the child to battel you every time....
snowborden1 02:48 PM 03-01-2011
Wow!!! That child has to go ASAP! Those parents have really created a monster. YIKES! I am so sorry you have to go through this. That is so unfortunate that you have to lose out on all three kids because of the one.
nannyde 02:57 PM 03-01-2011
She knows she has the power over you... that you will do as you are told. She doesn't know WHY but she knows it for a fact.
My guess is that you tolerate her to protect the income of the siblings. My guess is that you KNOW if you term her or put a hard and fast stop to her behavior that the other two will go out the door along with the money. My guess is that you are biding time till she gets into school when you just have the two little ones.
If a kid knows you are weak they are going to take over. If you ARE weak because you are trying to protect the income of the siblings then you must allow her to lead.
She IS your boss. She IS the one who decides your income.
This is what happens when children lead. It never works out.
If you want her behavior to stop you have to risk the income of the siblings. Are you willing to do that? If not, then make friends with your boss and try to keep her happy.
You will not be able to convince the parents that she is not your boss. There's no words to say... no plan to put in place... no correcting her behavior. The ONLY way to get this to stop is to stop allowing her to run the show or let her go.
My guess is that you tolerate her to protect the income of the siblings. My guess is that you KNOW if you term her or put a hard and fast stop to her behavior that the other two will go out the door along with the money. My guess is that you are biding time till she gets into school when you just have the two little ones.
If a kid knows you are weak they are going to take over. If you ARE weak because you are trying to protect the income of the siblings then you must allow her to lead.
She IS your boss. She IS the one who decides your income.
This is what happens when children lead. It never works out.
If you want her behavior to stop you have to risk the income of the siblings. Are you willing to do that? If not, then make friends with your boss and try to keep her happy.
You will not be able to convince the parents that she is not your boss. There's no words to say... no plan to put in place... no correcting her behavior. The ONLY way to get this to stop is to stop allowing her to run the show or let her go.
JenNJ 03:09 PM 03-01-2011
I'm with Nan on this. This kid has you wrapped around her finger. It really is NOT her fault bc you aren't making her tow the line. In my house its this simple -- you follow my rules or out you go. Parents and kids.
Only you can decide if the money is worth dealing with a manipulative brat everyday.
Only you can decide if the money is worth dealing with a manipulative brat everyday.
Symphony 03:14 PM 03-01-2011
It's not really about the money, it is that I love the other two so much. They are only going to be here through the summer and I already have two other families coming to fill the spot.
You are completely right about the naps and the TV though. That I need to stop right away. Do you ladies think when I put my foot down in that area, the other things will settle down too? You all are right and tomorrow we will all be laying down, no exceptions. It isn't worth it to the other kids for me to be this stressed.
Any other suggestions for the other stuff? I've never seen a passive aggressive four year old and I don't know how to handle that...
You are completely right about the naps and the TV though. That I need to stop right away. Do you ladies think when I put my foot down in that area, the other things will settle down too? You all are right and tomorrow we will all be laying down, no exceptions. It isn't worth it to the other kids for me to be this stressed.
Any other suggestions for the other stuff? I've never seen a passive aggressive four year old and I don't know how to handle that...
MommyMuffin 03:31 PM 03-01-2011
It is hard to admit when you dont like a dck. I try to think of the positive things about the child. Sometimes certain dck personalities or their parents "parenting" techniques just dont mix well.
My own daughter is at an impressionable age and I do not want any child influencing her with horrible behavior like the dck you are talking about. I work very hard and pride myself on how respectful and nice my daughter is. I am somewhat picky about the children in my daycare.
I would term.
My own daughter is at an impressionable age and I do not want any child influencing her with horrible behavior like the dck you are talking about. I work very hard and pride myself on how respectful and nice my daughter is. I am somewhat picky about the children in my daycare.
I would term.
nannyde 03:31 PM 03-01-2011
Originally Posted by Symphony:
It's not really about the money, it is that I love the other two so much. They are only going to be here through the summer and I already have two other families coming to fill the spot.
You are completely right about the naps and the TV though. That I need to stop right away. Do you ladies think when I put my foot down in that area, the other things will settle down too? You all are right and tomorrow we will all be laying down, no exceptions. It isn't worth it to the other kids for me to be this stressed.
Any other suggestions for the other stuff? I've never seen a passive aggressive four year old and I don't know how to handle that...
If it's not about the money then offer to care for the two little ones for free and tell them to take the four year old somewhere else. They WILL go for it.It's not really about the money, it is that I love the other two so much. They are only going to be here through the summer and I already have two other families coming to fill the spot.
You are completely right about the naps and the TV though. That I need to stop right away. Do you ladies think when I put my foot down in that area, the other things will settle down too? You all are right and tomorrow we will all be laying down, no exceptions. It isn't worth it to the other kids for me to be this stressed.
Any other suggestions for the other stuff? I've never seen a passive aggressive four year old and I don't know how to handle that...
JenNJ 03:32 PM 03-01-2011
This girl isn't PASSIVE aggressive -- she is aggressive.
squareone 04:05 PM 03-01-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
She knows she has the power over you... that you will do as you are told. She doesn't know WHY but she knows it for a fact.
My guess is that you tolerate her to protect the income of the siblings. My guess is that you KNOW if you term her or put a hard and fast stop to her behavior that the other two will go out the door along with the money. My guess is that you are biding time till she gets into school when you just have the two little ones.
If a kid knows you are weak they are going to take over. If you ARE weak because you are trying to protect the income of the siblings then you must allow her to lead.
She IS your boss. She IS the one who decides your income.
This is what happens when children lead. It never works out.
If you want her behavior to stop you have to risk the income of the siblings. Are you willing to do that? If not, then make friends with your boss and try to keep her happy.
You will not be able to convince the parents that she is not your boss. There's no words to say... no plan to put in place... no correcting her behavior. The ONLY way to get this to stop is to stop allowing her to run the show or let her go.
There is no arguing with this. These are the facts - plain and simple. She knows she has the power over you... that you will do as you are told. She doesn't know WHY but she knows it for a fact.
My guess is that you tolerate her to protect the income of the siblings. My guess is that you KNOW if you term her or put a hard and fast stop to her behavior that the other two will go out the door along with the money. My guess is that you are biding time till she gets into school when you just have the two little ones.
If a kid knows you are weak they are going to take over. If you ARE weak because you are trying to protect the income of the siblings then you must allow her to lead.
She IS your boss. She IS the one who decides your income.
This is what happens when children lead. It never works out.
If you want her behavior to stop you have to risk the income of the siblings. Are you willing to do that? If not, then make friends with your boss and try to keep her happy.
You will not be able to convince the parents that she is not your boss. There's no words to say... no plan to put in place... no correcting her behavior. The ONLY way to get this to stop is to stop allowing her to run the show or let her go.
Originally Posted by nannyde:
If it's not about the money then offer to care for the two little ones for free and tell them to take the four year old somewhere else. They WILL go for it.
Free is funnyIf it's not about the money then offer to care for the two little ones for free and tell them to take the four year old somewhere else. They WILL go for it.
. I get your point though, Nan. Symphony, if it's really NOT about the money then tell the parents that you will continue to care for the younger two (with pay of course 
)but the girl has to go. They will either take you up on the offer or leave with all 3.Oh, and this part "...that they even let her choose the daycare...the kids went to three different daycares for a week each and then they let her choose which one at the end."
The truth is probably that they got kicked out of 3 other daycares and you are the 4th stop.
countrymom 04:46 PM 03-01-2011
I'm going to be blunt here. ARE YOU KIDDING ME! you let this girl rule your house. You are an adult and its your business, why do you let some 5 yr old girl tell you and the others what to do, are you scared of her, do you fear losing income.
You need to put her in her place right away, she wants to whisper to the children, then she gets to play by herself, she's naughty at nap time, then put her in a spot away from the children. Why are you not punishing her for her naughty ways, if corners don't work, then sit her in a chair and let her watch the children play, reward the children for their good behaviors, she'll see what is going. I hate rewarding children but sometimes this is the only way to get to them. You need to stop this behavior asap. What she does is home is moms buisiness but you don't let her do naughty things in your house.
You need to put her in her place right away, she wants to whisper to the children, then she gets to play by herself, she's naughty at nap time, then put her in a spot away from the children. Why are you not punishing her for her naughty ways, if corners don't work, then sit her in a chair and let her watch the children play, reward the children for their good behaviors, she'll see what is going. I hate rewarding children but sometimes this is the only way to get to them. You need to stop this behavior asap. What she does is home is moms buisiness but you don't let her do naughty things in your house.
Symphony 07:43 PM 03-01-2011
You all have really opened my eyes here. It is strange how sometimes you need an outside person to show you what is going on.
The reason they wanted to switch from a center to a home was because dcm wanted all her kids to be together, so I don't think she would let them split up. I don't think my other families would appreciate knowing I was watching them for free...even though I admit that is a very tempting idea which would make me much happier.
I think I will do what you all have said and make some big changes around here.
The reason they wanted to switch from a center to a home was because dcm wanted all her kids to be together, so I don't think she would let them split up. I don't think my other families would appreciate knowing I was watching them for free...even though I admit that is a very tempting idea which would make me much happier.
I think I will do what you all have said and make some big changes around here.
nannyde 01:44 AM 03-02-2011
Originally Posted by Symphony:
You all have really opened my eyes here. It is strange how sometimes you need an outside person to show you what is going on.
The reason they wanted to switch from a center to a home was because dcm wanted all her kids to be together, so I don't think she would let them split up. I don't think my other families would appreciate knowing I was watching them for free...even though I admit that is a very tempting idea which would make me much happier.
I think I will do what you all have said and make some big changes around here.
I don't know that there are many families with three kids who wouldn't take an offer to care for two of the three for free and have the other one who is older (and will be separating from them in August anyway) go somewhere else for five months. You all have really opened my eyes here. It is strange how sometimes you need an outside person to show you what is going on.
The reason they wanted to switch from a center to a home was because dcm wanted all her kids to be together, so I don't think she would let them split up. I don't think my other families would appreciate knowing I was watching them for free...even though I admit that is a very tempting idea which would make me much happier.
I think I will do what you all have said and make some big changes around here.
Your other families don't have to know the two are there for free but even if they do... it's none of their business.
gbcc 05:40 AM 03-02-2011
Good for you for opening your eyes and realizing there is a problem here! To be honest if you decide to keep this child it is going to be a pi$$ing match for awhile. You just need to show her that you will shoot harder and farther lol.
I have a child that I really don't like and it also makes me very sad. When I look at him I see money signs and no affection. He honestly gives me the creeps. He constantly has to touch people especially the babies and I find this very odd. I will not let him out of my sight and he is 6 years old. Tons of Red Flags on this kids future. He is also the one I complained that if he has a good day the parents buy him McDonalds.
I have a child that I really don't like and it also makes me very sad. When I look at him I see money signs and no affection. He honestly gives me the creeps. He constantly has to touch people especially the babies and I find this very odd. I will not let him out of my sight and he is 6 years old. Tons of Red Flags on this kids future. He is also the one I complained that if he has a good day the parents buy him McDonalds.
Symphony 06:28 AM 03-02-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
I don't know that there are many families with three kids who wouldn't take an offer to care for two of the three for free and have the other one who is older (and will be separating from them in August anyway) go somewhere else for five months.
Your other families don't have to know the two are there for free but even if they do... it's none of their business.
Small town, and dcm works at the same place as my other two families. I assure you it would spread. I don't know that there are many families with three kids who wouldn't take an offer to care for two of the three for free and have the other one who is older (and will be separating from them in August anyway) go somewhere else for five months.
Your other families don't have to know the two are there for free but even if they do... it's none of their business.
So this morning she came in screaming her head off. I had a mat set up for her in the nap room and I told her she was welcome to join the group when she was finished and sent her to the mat. She came to the rest of us within a couple of minutes so that was good! Getting ready to head to the breakfast table, so we'll see how that goes!
Gbcc~ thank you for sharing your experience. I have never felt this way and it is a really yucky place to be. I hope things get better at your house too.
gbcc 06:37 AM 03-02-2011
Originally Posted by Symphony:
Gbcc~ thank you for sharing your experience. I have never felt this way and it is a really yucky place to be. I hope things get better at your house too.
It is very yucky! I have also never felt this way. I just try really hard to focus on the good, which honestly can be difficult at times. He of course would never know that I didn't care for him. I treat him the same and show him the same amount of interest as anyone else. For me, I am able to do this because I vent about him. It helps to have someone to vent to that will understand and then I am able to start fresh each morning. KWIM? Of course I only have him for 3 hours a day.Gbcc~ thank you for sharing your experience. I have never felt this way and it is a really yucky place to be. I hope things get better at your house too.
nannyde 06:45 AM 03-02-2011
Originally Posted by Symphony:
Small town, and dcm works at the same place as my other two families. I assure you it would spread.
NahSmall town, and dcm works at the same place as my other two families. I assure you it would spread.
You just put it in a written contract that the deal is to remain confidential. If they have a choice between free day care and talking they WILL take free day care. Believe it.
JenNJ 07:00 AM 03-02-2011
Are you honestly considering free daycare for 2 kids just to get rid of one mean kid? Personally I value my time more than rewarding bad parenting with free daycare. If this is how this child acts, how do you think her siblings will act in a few months/years?
Symphony 07:40 AM 03-02-2011
Originally Posted by JenNJ:
Are you honestly considering free daycare for 2 kids just to get rid of one mean kid? Personally I value my time more than rewarding bad parenting with free daycare. If this is how this child acts, how do you think her siblings will act in a few months/years?
Ah! I had a huge reply and it just disappeared as I was typing!Are you honestly considering free daycare for 2 kids just to get rid of one mean kid? Personally I value my time more than rewarding bad parenting with free daycare. If this is how this child acts, how do you think her siblings will act in a few months/years?
Anyway...no, I thought about it last night and I wouldn't feel that was ethical to my other families. I had to entertain it because my decision to keep this family is based on the other kids, not on the money. As I said before, they are leaving in August, so I just have to hold out til then.
Breakfast was good. No comments, but she didn't eat anything either, so I may have to deal with starving to death later.
She did yawn a few minutes ago and immediately tell me, "Just because I yawned, don't make me take a nap". I cut that off real quick. I usually just ignored those comments, thinking I didn't want her to get a rise out of me, but you ladies made me realize ignoring her is validating her! The opposite of what I wanted...whoops!
Abigail 09:45 AM 03-02-2011
I would love to hear follow up on how this process is going. Good job for giving this your best try and stick to it everyday this week. You never know, she may end up loving you and respecting you because she is seeking someone who can guide her and show her love. All children need boundaries.
Live and Learn 09:57 AM 03-02-2011
Symphony:
Just for the record I don't like her either!
Why isn't she in kinder if she is 5?
.....mark my words .....the 2 younger siblings will suffer from "chronic sassy mouth" too. They are watching and learning and so is everyone else in your care. It spreads like a contagious disease!
Just for the record I don't like her either!
Why isn't she in kinder if she is 5?
.....mark my words .....the 2 younger siblings will suffer from "chronic sassy mouth" too. They are watching and learning and so is everyone else in your care. It spreads like a contagious disease
!
momofsix 10:12 AM 03-02-2011
Glad you hear you're ready to take control! Good for you
I expect a few posts in the next few days as she realizes what's happening and really starts to show you what she's made of And a few more when she starts talking to mom
Just stay strong. This little girl needs to learn now that she's not in control of her universe, or she'll get a rude awakening when she starts school!
I expect a few posts in the next few days as she realizes what's happening and really starts to show you what she's made of
And a few more when she starts talking to momJust stay strong. This little girl needs to learn now that she's not in control of her universe, or she'll get a rude awakening when she starts school!
Symphony 11:19 AM 03-02-2011
Ok so...so far so good. I have been on top of her all morning and she has been pretty good for the most part, she's been following me around, which she has never done, and she independently cleaned up the playroom while I was changing diapers before nap!
I told her that from now on everyone will lay down to have a little rest and that she doesn't have to sleep, but she needs to lay quiestly with the other kids. I told her I would check in 30 minutes and if she was awake and had been quiet then I wold get her up. She walked right to her mat and was asleep in 5 minutes.
I think being very clear about what happens next and what my expectations are is being very helpful to both of us. However, I'm positive she will have some tricks up her sleeve for me.
Thanks for the support and here's to a good afternoon!
I told her that from now on everyone will lay down to have a little rest and that she doesn't have to sleep, but she needs to lay quiestly with the other kids. I told her I would check in 30 minutes and if she was awake and had been quiet then I wold get her up. She walked right to her mat and was asleep in 5 minutes.
I think being very clear about what happens next and what my expectations are is being very helpful to both of us. However, I'm positive she will have some tricks up her sleeve for me.
Thanks for the support and here's to a good afternoon!
Hunni Bee 04:46 PM 03-02-2011
I definitely "feel you" on this.
There's a kid who used to be in my class who is the "process of being termed"...he has been termed, but he is being allowed to stay in other classroom until his mom finds other arrangements.
He made my hair curl...he would run up behind me and squeeze my butt, snatch the book out of my hands at storytime, if I was disciplining another child he would yell at me to "leave ______ alone!" or hit and kick me. He'd show his privates, force kisses on other kids....ugh
The difference with him though is that he was extremely aggressive...I have been scratched, bitten, punched by this kid...my poor kids have been horribly harrassed by him.
I dreaded coming to work
There's a kid who used to be in my class who is the "process of being termed"...he has been termed, but he is being allowed to stay in other classroom until his mom finds other arrangements.
He made my hair curl...he would run up behind me and squeeze my butt, snatch the book out of my hands at storytime, if I was disciplining another child he would yell at me to "leave ______ alone!" or hit and kick me. He'd show his privates, force kisses on other kids....ugh
The difference with him though is that he was extremely aggressive...I have been scratched, bitten, punched by this kid...my poor kids have been horribly harrassed by him.
I dreaded coming to work
EntropyControlSpecialist 09:40 AM 03-31-2014
Originally Posted by Symphony:
Ok so...so far so good. I have been on top of her all morning and she has been pretty good for the most part, she's been following me around, which she has never done, and she independently cleaned up the playroom while I was changing diapers before nap!
I told her that from now on everyone will lay down to have a little rest and that she doesn't have to sleep, but she needs to lay quiestly with the other kids. I told her I would check in 30 minutes and if she was awake and had been quiet then I wold get her up. She walked right to her mat and was asleep in 5 minutes.
I think being very clear about what happens next and what my expectations are is being very helpful to both of us. However, I'm positive she will have some tricks up her sleeve for me.
Thanks for the support and here's to a good afternoon!
How did this end? Ok so...so far so good. I have been on top of her all morning and she has been pretty good for the most part, she's been following me around, which she has never done, and she independently cleaned up the playroom while I was changing diapers before nap!
I told her that from now on everyone will lay down to have a little rest and that she doesn't have to sleep, but she needs to lay quiestly with the other kids. I told her I would check in 30 minutes and if she was awake and had been quiet then I wold get her up. She walked right to her mat and was asleep in 5 minutes.
I think being very clear about what happens next and what my expectations are is being very helpful to both of us. However, I'm positive she will have some tricks up her sleeve for me.
Thanks for the support and here's to a good afternoon!
taylorw1210 10:59 AM 03-31-2014
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
How did this end?
Yea, I'd like to know how this is working out for you.How did this end?
Hunni Bee 12:08 PM 03-31-2014
I don't think this member posts anymore...i don't know if she lurks. I haven't seen a post from her in years.
Blackcat31 12:12 PM 03-31-2014
Originally Posted by Hunni Bee:
I don't think this member posts anymore...i don't know if she lurks. I haven't seen a post from her in years.
Her profile says the last activity for her was almost a year ago.I don't think this member posts anymore...i don't know if she lurks. I haven't seen a post from her in years.
EntropyControlSpecialist 12:19 PM 03-31-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Her profile says the last activity for her was almost a year ago.
Now i am sad!Her profile says the last activity for her was almost a year ago.
misslori50 12:50 PM 03-31-2014
Originally Posted by nannyde:
She knows she has the power over you... that you will do as you are told. She doesn't know WHY but she knows it for a fact.
My guess is that you tolerate her to protect the income of the siblings. My guess is that you KNOW if you term her or put a hard and fast stop to her behavior that the other two will go out the door along with the money. My guess is that you are biding time till she gets into school when you just have the two little ones.
If a kid knows you are weak they are going to take over. If you ARE weak because you are trying to protect the income of the siblings then you must allow her to lead.
She IS your boss. She IS the one who decides your income.
This is what happens when children lead. It never works out.
If you want her behavior to stop you have to risk the income of the siblings. Are you willing to do that? If not, then make friends with your boss and try to keep her happy.
You will not be able to convince the parents that she is not your boss. There's no words to say... no plan to put in place... no correcting her behavior. The ONLY way to get this to stop is to stop allowing her to run the show or let her go.
She knows she has the power over you... that you will do as you are told. She doesn't know WHY but she knows it for a fact.
My guess is that you tolerate her to protect the income of the siblings. My guess is that you KNOW if you term her or put a hard and fast stop to her behavior that the other two will go out the door along with the money. My guess is that you are biding time till she gets into school when you just have the two little ones.
If a kid knows you are weak they are going to take over. If you ARE weak because you are trying to protect the income of the siblings then you must allow her to lead.
She IS your boss. She IS the one who decides your income.
This is what happens when children lead. It never works out.
If you want her behavior to stop you have to risk the income of the siblings. Are you willing to do that? If not, then make friends with your boss and try to keep her happy.
You will not be able to convince the parents that she is not your boss. There's no words to say... no plan to put in place... no correcting her behavior. The ONLY way to get this to stop is to stop allowing her to run the show or let her go.
I agree