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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Would You Tell SAHM...
SunshineMama 11:30 AM 03-02-2012
I got a call the other day from a neighbor SAHM that I am beginning to get close to (really like her and her family). She is starting her own daycare and wanted to know my thoughts on 3 siblings that she was about to take on part time, since I used to watch them (USED to.... for a reason). The 3 siblings are her next door neighbor's children, and we all live very close together.
I know for a fact, that I was the 3rd provider for these children (all under 4), and that they also go to another neighbor for the other 2 days as well. (So, kids are in daycare full time, but the days are split between the two providers). The OP where they currently go part time has been doing this for years and is established, so I know she can probably handle whatever comes her way- but I worry about my SAHM.
I luckily did not have to term these kids, because I told the mom ahead of time I would only watch them until I found full timers, and watched them for a few months. The older, potty trained boy always pooped in his underwear, and the younger one was a whiner, and was always sick. (I posted a while back about how I spent more in medical bills than what I made from this family, and they just ignored my sick policys- didnt even register with them he was constantly sick). Anyway, they are the reason I dont watch neighbor's or friends kids.
So, she asked me what I thought about her watching the kids. (I already saw them talking before she asked me, so I think she already agreed to do it and wanted a second opinion), I debated whether or not to tell her about them ignoring my sickness policies, etc, and ended up just telling her that I got full time spots, so thats why I didnt keep them. They are closer in friendship than we are, and nce I think they already made a verbal arrangement, I thought I should keep quiet. I had nothing to gain, and could lose a few neighbor friendships- not worth it.
Would you have told?
I gave her a copy of my handbook, contract, and sick policies, and told her that she was free to use whatever portion of it she wanted, in her own words, and advised her to always have a contract. I emphasized using a sick policy, since she has her own young children at home.
SAHM said that the mom of the 3 was like, "Oh, I don't care, whatever- we don't have to do a contract." So they didn't make a contract. EEEK!
I know for a fact, that I was the 3rd provider for these children (all under 4), and that they also go to another neighbor for the other 2 days as well. (So, kids are in daycare full time, but the days are split between the two providers). The OP where they currently go part time has been doing this for years and is established, so I know she can probably handle whatever comes her way- but I worry about my SAHM.
I luckily did not have to term these kids, because I told the mom ahead of time I would only watch them until I found full timers, and watched them for a few months. The older, potty trained boy always pooped in his underwear, and the younger one was a whiner, and was always sick. (I posted a while back about how I spent more in medical bills than what I made from this family, and they just ignored my sick policys- didnt even register with them he was constantly sick). Anyway, they are the reason I dont watch neighbor's or friends kids.
So, she asked me what I thought about her watching the kids. (I already saw them talking before she asked me, so I think she already agreed to do it and wanted a second opinion), I debated whether or not to tell her about them ignoring my sickness policies, etc, and ended up just telling her that I got full time spots, so thats why I didnt keep them. They are closer in friendship than we are, and nce I think they already made a verbal arrangement, I thought I should keep quiet. I had nothing to gain, and could lose a few neighbor friendships- not worth it.
Would you have told?
I gave her a copy of my handbook, contract, and sick policies, and told her that she was free to use whatever portion of it she wanted, in her own words, and advised her to always have a contract. I emphasized using a sick policy, since she has her own young children at home.
SAHM said that the mom of the 3 was like, "Oh, I don't care, whatever- we don't have to do a contract." So they didn't make a contract. EEEK!
Daycare Diva 11:36 AM 03-02-2012
I wouldn't say anything. Let this be her experience. If they treat her the same way then you guys can share horror stories over a cup of tea.
SunshineMama 11:38 AM 03-02-2012
Originally Posted by Daycare Diva:
I wouldn't say anything. Let this be her experience. If they treat her the same way then you guys can share horror stories over a cup of tea.
I wouldn't say anything. Let this be her experience. If they treat her the same way then you guys can share horror stories over a cup of tea.
I think that will most likely be the case.
gbcc 11:38 AM 03-02-2012
I think you pointed her in the right direction. It's hard because you are all in close proximity. You don't really want to step on any toes or look like the jealous gossip. I would maybe just emphasize with SAHM to do a contract and if she encounters any problems, you have probably been there and she should feel free to call you!
Greenplasticwateringcans 11:38 AM 03-02-2012
No contract! Ugh...she's sunk.
On the plus side she will figure out really fast why contracts are an excellent idea and why those three kids had been through so many providers.
I would not have said anything to her as a provider myself. I believe it's too much of a liability if that kind of chatter made its way back to me.
On the plus side she will figure out really fast why contracts are an excellent idea and why those three kids had been through so many providers.
I would not have said anything to her as a provider myself. I believe it's too much of a liability if that kind of chatter made its way back to me.
daycare 11:41 AM 03-02-2012
I wouldnt say anything. Friend or not. Especially when it comes to business.
I look at it like this, she is a big girl and she can make choices for herself. If she choices to take on this family and it flops then that is learning lesson for her. She may not see your advice as a friendly warning.
I look at it like this, she is a big girl and she can make choices for herself. If she choices to take on this family and it flops then that is learning lesson for her. She may not see your advice as a friendly warning.
SunshineMama 11:41 AM 03-02-2012
Originally Posted by Greenplasticwateringcans:
No contract! Ugh...she's sunk.
On the plus side she will figure out really fast why contracts are an excellent idea and why those three kids had been through so many providers.
I would not have said anything to her as a provider myself. I believe it's too much of a liability if that kind of chatter made its way back to me.
It does help to hear that ya'll wouldn't have said anything either. I want to be a good friend/neighbor, but not at my (or my children's-since they are all friends) expense. No contract! Ugh...she's sunk.
On the plus side she will figure out really fast why contracts are an excellent idea and why those three kids had been through so many providers.
I would not have said anything to her as a provider myself. I believe it's too much of a liability if that kind of chatter made its way back to me.
It's a fine line to walk.
sharlan 12:34 PM 03-02-2012
I would never get involved in someone else's business. It will come back on you.