Daycare.com Forum
rmc20021 07:34 PM 02-03-2013
2 months ago I had a foster parent call me to care for her new foster girl who is 3 yo but was a shaken baby at 4 months so her developmental age is only about 1 yo.
Things were going well. She was here from 8 am until 1:30 pm 3 days a week and I love her to pieces.
She recently started OT and goes to a school so now the bus drops her off at 12:30 pm. I have to go out to the bus, get her off and carry her into the house.
In order to have a clear path to walk on with her, I have to go out before the bus arrives and shovel snow (we've been getting a LOT). I'll be 60 in May.
This is not only physically difficult for me carrying a chunky 3 yo across the yard, but I do not feel comfortable doing it for not only my own safety, but hers as well.
Not to mention, while all this is going on, I have to leave the other kids in the house unsupervised.
Since she's a foster child, she is elibible for state pay and the amount isn't that great. For 1 hour per day...it's not worth it in so many ways other than monetary.
Foster dad called me yesterday saying his schedule has changed and she will now be here 5 days a week. They want to change her schedule so she attends afternoon classes...but, then she would be coming at 4:30 am and I know there is no way she would go back to sleep.
I told the foster dad they need to make some other arrangements for her, but that I would keep her this week.
Now, I am so fearful of carrying this child on the snow and ice across the yard that I'm regretting not telling them I could no longer keep her at all.
My question is, should I go ahead and tell them tomorrow that I can't keep her any more? I know it would leave them in a bind, but I would rather do that than risk injury to her or myself.
My porch is covered with 3 inches of ice. I've been trying to salt it all day but it's so cold it's not doing much good.
My fear comes from a fall I had several years ago when I fell on the ice and received a head injury which I still get migraines from a couple times a week.
My back has been out for over a week so the combination really scares me and I don't know what to do. I know I cannot continue to care for her, but I feel I shouldn't try to do it this week, except I told them I would.
Things were going well. She was here from 8 am until 1:30 pm 3 days a week and I love her to pieces.
She recently started OT and goes to a school so now the bus drops her off at 12:30 pm. I have to go out to the bus, get her off and carry her into the house.
In order to have a clear path to walk on with her, I have to go out before the bus arrives and shovel snow (we've been getting a LOT). I'll be 60 in May.
This is not only physically difficult for me carrying a chunky 3 yo across the yard, but I do not feel comfortable doing it for not only my own safety, but hers as well.
Not to mention, while all this is going on, I have to leave the other kids in the house unsupervised.
Since she's a foster child, she is elibible for state pay and the amount isn't that great. For 1 hour per day...it's not worth it in so many ways other than monetary.
Foster dad called me yesterday saying his schedule has changed and she will now be here 5 days a week. They want to change her schedule so she attends afternoon classes...but, then she would be coming at 4:30 am and I know there is no way she would go back to sleep.
I told the foster dad they need to make some other arrangements for her, but that I would keep her this week.
Now, I am so fearful of carrying this child on the snow and ice across the yard that I'm regretting not telling them I could no longer keep her at all.
My question is, should I go ahead and tell them tomorrow that I can't keep her any more? I know it would leave them in a bind, but I would rather do that than risk injury to her or myself.
My porch is covered with 3 inches of ice. I've been trying to salt it all day but it's so cold it's not doing much good.
My fear comes from a fall I had several years ago when I fell on the ice and received a head injury which I still get migraines from a couple times a week.
My back has been out for over a week so the combination really scares me and I don't know what to do. I know I cannot continue to care for her, but I feel I shouldn't try to do it this week, except I told them I would.
EntropyControlSpecialist 07:59 PM 02-03-2013
What a tough situation! I get that it's ideal to give a parent advance notice but gosh. This is tricky. 
I might consider saying that you don't feel safe doing this just like you did here and see if they have any solutions for this week and if they didn't I would term. It isn't worth injuring yourself further. ((Hugs)) Take care of yourself.
I might consider saying that you don't feel safe doing this just like you did here and see if they have any solutions for this week and if they didn't I would term. It isn't worth injuring yourself further. ((Hugs)) Take care of yourself.
SilverSabre25 08:17 PM 02-03-2013
Can you use a stroller or wagon instead of carrying her?
and no way in HECK would I be getting up before 4:30 AM!
and no way in HECK would I be getting up before 4:30 AM!
rmc20021 04:08 AM 02-04-2013
There's no way I can use a stroller or wagon due to the snow...that I have to shovel before the bus even gets here, leaving the other kids unsupervised in the house.
When I agreed to take her, she wasn't attending school and there was no mention of it.
So between all the different things, my back, carrying her across the yard on ice/snow, having to shovel to get even a little bit of a cleared path to the bus, leaving the other kids unattended...
I DID tell dad we have to come up with a different plan...having her come at 4:30 am is not MY plan.
Today I was only supposed to have her (for 1 hour) and another full timer. The full timer called in sick at 6:30, so that means I have to be at home for 1 kid for one hour today. There's so much more I can think of to do with my tiime today than wait for one kid for 2.50.
When I agreed to take her, she wasn't attending school and there was no mention of it.
So between all the different things, my back, carrying her across the yard on ice/snow, having to shovel to get even a little bit of a cleared path to the bus, leaving the other kids unattended...
I DID tell dad we have to come up with a different plan...having her come at 4:30 am is not MY plan.
Today I was only supposed to have her (for 1 hour) and another full timer. The full timer called in sick at 6:30, so that means I have to be at home for 1 kid for one hour today. There's so much more I can think of to do with my tiime today than wait for one kid for 2.50.
mbullette 06:15 AM 02-04-2013
I would just talk to them and tell them you can no longer care for her. I would never leave kids alone in the house and you are risking a lot. How would those foster parents feel if you left her in the house to get other kids off the bus????
itlw8 07:19 AM 02-04-2013
I am the first to take a foster chid because they are so hard to find a place due to the low amount the state pays, I go out of my way to help a child with special needs
But in this case I would have to say no. It is not safe for you to go shovel and leave kids in the house, it is a danger for you to carry her across a slick drive and 4:30 is not going to work.
I would tell the parents. I can not open at 4:30 am ever.
I am unable to safely carry her across the snow and ice
You need to find a solution
Put the problem in their hands.Maybe they can change their work hours, transport her themselves or find other childcare.
But in this case I would have to say no. It is not safe for you to go shovel and leave kids in the house, it is a danger for you to carry her across a slick drive and 4:30 is not going to work.
I would tell the parents. I can not open at 4:30 am ever.
I am unable to safely carry her across the snow and ice
You need to find a solution
Put the problem in their hands.Maybe they can change their work hours, transport her themselves or find other childcare.
Blackcat31 07:28 AM 02-04-2013
Originally Posted by rmc20021:
There's no way I can use a stroller or wagon due to the snow...that I have to shovel before the bus even gets here, leaving the other kids unsupervised in the house.
When I agreed to take her, she wasn't attending school and there was no mention of it.
So between all the different things, my back, carrying her across the yard on ice/snow, having to shovel to get even a little bit of a cleared path to the bus, leaving the other kids unattended...
I DID tell dad we have to come up with a different plan...having her come at 4:30 am is not MY plan.
Today I was only supposed to have her (for 1 hour) and another full timer. The full timer called in sick at 6:30, so that means I have to be at home for 1 kid for one hour today. There's so much more I can think of to do with my tiime today than wait for one kid for 2.50.
I would absolutely tell them you either cannot take her anymore due to the bus and carrying issue or that they will need to arrange for someone to ride the bus with her and carry her to your door for you. There's no way I can use a stroller or wagon due to the snow...that I have to shovel before the bus even gets here, leaving the other kids unsupervised in the house.
When I agreed to take her, she wasn't attending school and there was no mention of it.
So between all the different things, my back, carrying her across the yard on ice/snow, having to shovel to get even a little bit of a cleared path to the bus, leaving the other kids unattended...
I DID tell dad we have to come up with a different plan...having her come at 4:30 am is not MY plan.
Today I was only supposed to have her (for 1 hour) and another full timer. The full timer called in sick at 6:30, so that means I have to be at home for 1 kid for one hour today. There's so much more I can think of to do with my tiime today than wait for one kid for 2.50.
Where are the other children you normally care for when you are outside meeting this little gals bus?
rmc20021 07:36 AM 02-04-2013
Ugggggg....
So frustrated with these people. I let foster mom know I couldn't keep the 3 yo today because I wasn't going to pay an aide 4 times what I would make off the child since she would be the only one here. Foster mom was fine with that.
But then she informed me dck would not be here tomorrow due to an appt at a brain institute, which I'm sure has been booked for a while and she's just now letting me know, after asking me on Sat/Sun if I could keep her all week.
I let fm know I can not keep her any more after this week...that will leave 3 days I have to deal with this but I cannot rely on them.
So frustrated with these people. I let foster mom know I couldn't keep the 3 yo today because I wasn't going to pay an aide 4 times what I would make off the child since she would be the only one here. Foster mom was fine with that.
But then she informed me dck would not be here tomorrow due to an appt at a brain institute, which I'm sure has been booked for a while and she's just now letting me know, after asking me on Sat/Sun if I could keep her all week.
I let fm know I can not keep her any more after this week...that will leave 3 days I have to deal with this but I cannot rely on them.