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  #1  
Old 06-10-2013, 09:25 AM
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Default Early Drop Off Question

So, today my husband got to dc earlier than he expected. In the past our DCP has said if it's just a few mins, not to bother her with a phone call. (We always called before and she didn't like us calling her). So after the last year with just one early d/o, today was the one other day he gets there ahead of schedule.

The DCP FLIPPED OUT on him! She said she wasn't ready to begin care, blah blah blah.
Then she got up the kids' butts!

I guess my concern is:

Is she overreacting? Especially since she has told us NOT to call her for just a few mins? It's not like we were 30 mins early or anything! But wow! That reaction was jut unexpected. My husband stood there dumbfounded and the kids went inside and he didn't know what to do.

WWYD as parents/providers?

Thanks!
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  #2  
Old 06-10-2013, 09:31 AM
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Depends on how early you were and what the reasons for being early was.

A lot of providers run like small families and accommodate any or all requests.

Other providers operate on a more business level and open time is open time, not one minute earlier or one minute later.

She may also have been having a bad morning or be over tired or stressed about something else and simply took it out on your DH...NOT cool either way, but is she normally pretty happy and up beat or is she moody and cranky alot?
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  #3  
Old 06-10-2013, 09:47 AM
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How early was your husband? Is "a few" two minutes, five, ten? Were the kids fed and dressed (if that's how they normally arrive)?

Personally, I think you were very considerate to call her to let her know you'd be late, and I can't imagine being annoyed if someone did that unless they woke me up to do it. Does she sleep until the last possible minute? Are yours usually the first to arrive?

Like BC said, it really depends on the circumstances. Though either way, it is totally unacceptable for her to take it out on your children. Were you there to witness her doing this?


If you continue with this person, maybe in the future the best thing to do if you get there a few minutes early is just to wait in the car until your normal arrival time. I can tell you, from a provider standpoint, that I'm OFTEN not ready for arrivals until seconds before arrival time, and we appreciate those precious few minutes/seconds so that we can do things like pee, eat, brush our teeth, get our own kids settled, etc.

Keep us posted!
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Old 06-10-2013, 09:51 AM
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I think the key here is, how early was he? Personally I wouldn't have allowed it at all from the get go, this way there would be no confusion. I imagine if she has always been fine with it in the past, something happened today that made it not okay. Also, I don't see telling a parent (even somewhat abruptly) that you are not ready to begin care - earlier than contracted and probably for no additional compensation to boot - as "flipping out." How did she get "up your kids butts" and why did your husband leave them there is he felt that was the case?

If he was no earlier than he has been, and she truly "flipped" or got "on" your kids then that is not okay. But I would not be surprised if there is more to it.
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Old 06-10-2013, 09:57 AM
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Earlier drop offs are NOT cool in my program, and if your provider told you not to call, did she mean not to call for early drop offs? If a parent showed up even 5 minutes before my opening time/earliest scheduled drop off they would be met with a locked door.

I agree, the provider's behavior was unacceptable but trust me when I say those mornings are hectic and rushed, and I have a million things to do before my first arrival.
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  #6  
Old 06-10-2013, 12:10 PM
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Apparently, he was about 10 mins early. He waited a few mins in the car . The husband saw him out the window, and informed the wife.

The wife came outside, started yelling. Then told the kids "get inside, NOW" and just was going a little nuts.

As far as why DH would leave them, IDk.

It is not usual for him to be early. She also got paid for 2 weeks she did NO care, not at our request, but at hers and she also gets a lot of days off as we take a lot of time to be with our kids. This is why she's told us in the past a few mins early was not a biggie and not to call.

Maybe it was just a bad day, but it really makes me think of how many other times she yells at people when we're not there.
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  #7  
Old 06-10-2013, 12:42 PM
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Apparently, he was about 10 mins early. He waited a few mins in the car . The husband saw him out the window, and informed the wife.

The wife came outside, started yelling. Then told the kids "get inside, NOW" and just was going a little nuts.

As far as why DH would leave them, IDk.

It is not usual for him to be early. She also got paid for 2 weeks she did NO care, not at our request, but at hers and she also gets a lot of days off as we take a lot of time to be with our kids. This is why she's told us in the past a few mins early was not a biggie and not to call.

Maybe it was just a bad day, but it really makes me think of how many other times she yells at people when we're not there.
Sounds to me like there are a few issues going on.

Her stress levels may be questionable
You are questioning her rates and fees for closed days
and the simple fact that according to you she said one thing (a few minutes early is no big deal) and then acting differently about what she said (the being upset about it this morning).

It just might be time to find a care provider you can communicate with more openly.

If you were one of my daycare families, this would be something I would discuss privately and in person with you about.

Have you called and discussed any of this mornings actions with her?
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Old 06-10-2013, 03:08 PM
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Sounds to me like there are a few issues going on.

Her stress levels may be questionable
You are questioning her rates and fees for closed days
and the simple fact that according to you she said one thing (a few minutes early is no big deal) and then acting differently about what she said (the being upset about it this morning).

It just might be time to find a care provider you can communicate with more openly.

If you were one of my daycare families, this would be something I would discuss privately and in person with you about.

Have you called and discussed any of this mornings actions with her?
Well I don't mind paying her because it holds the spot, but since she said a few mins would not be a biggie BECAUSE we use the spot so little, we felt her reaction was extreme for someone who gets paid for doing very minimal work with our kids. Our kids are usually the 2nd set of children that get there. There is a baby that gets there an hour ahead but was not there today.

She texted me to not worry and it was fine when I texted her I wanted to talk. It just sounds like either a. she was really irritable today or b. she felt inconvenienced but didn't want to say. I'm going to talk to her upon pick up or schedule a time to talk. I don't know what to do bc I wasn't there, but my husband has never been known to exaggerate things.
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  #9  
Old 06-10-2013, 04:01 PM
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Well I don't mind paying her because it holds the spot, but since she said a few mins would not be a biggie BECAUSE we use the spot so little, we felt her reaction was extreme for someone who gets paid for doing very minimal work with our kids. Our kids are usually the 2nd set of children that get there. There is a baby that gets there an hour ahead but was not there today.

She texted me to not worry and it was fine when I texted her I wanted to talk. It just sounds like either a. she was really irritable today or b. she felt inconvenienced but didn't want to say. I'm going to talk to her upon pick up or schedule a time to talk. I don't know what to do bc I wasn't there, but my husband has never been known to exaggerate things.
Hmmm, maybe you and your DH should speak to her privately, but together.

As a provider and a parent, I really think that the lines of communication need to be really clear and although I do understand life happens and people get cranky now and then, I do think the provider at least owes you some sort of explanation as to why she reacted the way she did in the a.m. (IF your DH is correct in remembering how it all happened).

I would also ask her about when EXACTLY it is ok and not ok to be a few minutes early for drop off. Just so BOTH parties are clear and don't step on each other's toes from here on out.

Is it part of her contract to have parents pay when the kids are not attending? If so, then I completely understand why you paid when your kids were not present or in attendance.

If it isn't part of her contract and you did it as a nice gesture, then that is great because a lot of parents don't always understand that when a child is absent from care, it can make a huge dent in the provider's finances.

Either way, I am glad you contacted her and atleast opened the lines of communication in regards to this situation.

I hope you are able to find a resolution that leaves you both happy and comfortable with your agreement.
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  #10  
Old 06-10-2013, 08:10 PM
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Actually, I think the situation is that we will have to pull the kids.

My kids gave me a play-by-play account in person and so did dh after they got home. Everything they told me matched and even a nearby neighbor heard it. It was nothing to do with the early drop off, no it was that when the husband alerted her, my youngers when they got to the door knocked on it more than once. Kids are kids and silly and that kind of stuff is just stuff you let roll off your shoulder. She SCREAMED according to my dh, the kids and the nearby neighbor who thought something was wrong! They won't be pulled for that reason alone, though.

I found out today that the dcp wants to allow my child to walk home alone, and not from a close place, after school. I JUST found out today at pickup when I mentioned something about the school year schedule and she didn't ASK but she TOLD me this was what would happen. I am NOT ok with a 10yo child walking home alone or even with anyone a long distance (it's about 1 mile from the school to dcp's house)!

NOT happening. . The child she'd be walking with (supposedly) is the dcp's own child and he's not very responsible, has terrible grades, and in fact, is repeating this year.

Sounds to me like this was just the spring board into finding new care. I really don't know what to do. We will only need a couple hours a couple days per week. We thought about letting my child ride a bus and go straight home (like less than 500 feet from bus stop) on those days and stay by herself. She does know what to do in case of emergency.
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Old 06-11-2013, 04:16 AM
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Yikes! It sounds as if this wasn't a good fit all around. Best of luck in your search!
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  #12  
Old 06-11-2013, 06:54 AM
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Originally Posted by daycarediva View Post
Earlier drop offs are NOT cool in my program, and if your provider told you not to call, did she mean not to call for early drop offs? If a parent showed up even 5 minutes before my opening time/earliest scheduled drop off they would be met with a locked door.

I agree, the provider's behavior was unacceptable but trust me when I say those mornings are hectic and rushed, and I have a million things to do before my first arrival.
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  #13  
Old 06-11-2013, 06:58 AM
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Actually, I think the situation is that we will have to pull the kids.

My kids gave me a play-by-play account in person and so did dh after they got home. Everything they told me matched and even a nearby neighbor heard it. It was nothing to do with the early drop off, no it was that when the husband alerted her, my youngers when they got to the door knocked on it more than once. Kids are kids and silly and that kind of stuff is just stuff you let roll off your shoulder. She SCREAMED according to my dh, the kids and the nearby neighbor who thought something was wrong! They won't be pulled for that reason alone, though.

I found out today that the dcp wants to allow my child to walk home alone, and not from a close place, after school. I JUST found out today at pickup when I mentioned something about the school year schedule and she didn't ASK but she TOLD me this was what would happen. I am NOT ok with a 10yo child walking home alone or even with anyone a long distance (it's about 1 mile from the school to dcp's house)!

NOT happening. . The child she'd be walking with (supposedly) is the dcp's own child and he's not very responsible, has terrible grades, and in fact, is repeating this year.

Sounds to me like this was just the spring board into finding new care. I really don't know what to do. We will only need a couple hours a couple days per week. We thought about letting my child ride a bus and go straight home (like less than 500 feet from bus stop) on those days and stay by herself. She does know what to do in case of emergency.
She should not have reacted that way BUT why do you allow your kids to knock repeatedly on the dooor? That is really rude IMO! She could have younger people sleeping. Also. why is it your childcare provider's job to get your child from school to her home? That is your job, as a parent - not the childcare provider's job!
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Old 06-11-2013, 07:02 AM
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Sounds like the last straw...... not the first, IMHO.
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Old 06-11-2013, 07:10 AM
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Actually, I think the situation is that we will have to pull the kids.

My kids gave me a play-by-play account in person and so did dh after they got home. Everything they told me matched and even a nearby neighbor heard it. It was nothing to do with the early drop off, no it was that when the husband alerted her, my youngers when they got to the door knocked on it more than once. Kids are kids and silly and that kind of stuff is just stuff you let roll off your shoulder. She SCREAMED according to my dh, the kids and the nearby neighbor who thought something was wrong! They won't be pulled for that reason alone, though.

I found out today that the dcp wants to allow my child to walk home alone, and not from a close place, after school. I JUST found out today at pickup when I mentioned something about the school year schedule and she didn't ASK but she TOLD me this was what would happen. I am NOT ok with a 10yo child walking home alone or even with anyone a long distance (it's about 1 mile from the school to dcp's house)!

NOT happening. . The child she'd be walking with (supposedly) is the dcp's own child and he's not very responsible, has terrible grades, and in fact, is repeating this year.

Sounds to me like this was just the spring board into finding new care. I really don't know what to do. We will only need a couple hours a couple days per week. We thought about letting my child ride a bus and go straight home (like less than 500 feet from bus stop) on those days and stay by herself. She does know what to do in case of emergency.
First, it IS a big deal when your kids pound on the door or ring the doorbell. I'm sure the provider was probably upset because her family was sleeping, and your family didn't have enough respect to keep the kids from waking her household.

Second, putting down the provider's child and assuming that you know that his is not very responsible based on his grades tells me that you are already past the point of reconciliation. You WANT a new provider, I suggest you go get one before resentment over this stuff eats you up.

As far as the 2 weeks paid vacation-standard in MOST industries. My clients pay me a SALARY, not hourly. I get paid whether I am here or not, whether they are here or not. Consider the space you're renting for your child in daycare similar to a space in a parking garage that you rent. You pay for it whether your car is parked in the garage or at the beach.
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Old 06-11-2013, 07:13 AM
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She should not have reacted that way BUT why do you allow your kids to knock repeatedly on the dooor? That is really rude IMO! She could have younger people sleeping. Also. why is it your childcare provider's job to get your child from school to her home? That is your job, as a parent - not the childcare provider's job!
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Old 06-11-2013, 08:04 AM
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She should not have reacted that way BUT why do you allow your kids to knock repeatedly on the dooor? That is really rude IMO! She could have younger people sleeping. Also. why is it your childcare provider's job to get your child from school to her home? That is your job, as a parent - not the childcare provider's job!
First, I was NOT there. My DH was d/o. This is not something that happens every day. The OVER reaction is my concern. Maybe it's rude, but SCREAMING (accodring to the kids, dh and neighbors) is no less rude!

Second, it's in our contract that she is to p/u kids after school. It was NOT in our contract to have her make them walk home to her house. Additionally her husband "joked" in front of my kids how much he hates kids and his home being turned up side down. I'm thinking maybe she's getting tired of doing dc.

My concerns as a mom have led me to find care elsewhere. Yesterday's overreaction and then telling me that my kid WILL be walking home when that is NOT what we agreed to in our contract was unacceptable and I don't care if we had not had problems before, this kind of stuff sets up a red flag for me for future problems.
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Old 06-11-2013, 09:01 AM
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Sounds like the last straw...... not the first, IMHO.
My thoughts exactly lol
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Old 06-11-2013, 09:08 AM
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If the screaming was indeed SCREAMING as you put it, and it was as bad as you describe, no parent with an ounce of common sense would have left their children there in the care of someone who was that level of hysterical.

The things your family did ticked her off.

She had a right to be beyond irritated imho.

I probably wouldn't have SCREAMED, just terminated your family immediately instead, but it is what it is now. Move on and find other care if you think she is so wrong.
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Old 06-11-2013, 09:15 AM
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Yes, the banging/repeatedly knocking on the door is rude. Dh should have stopped that. I ask my parents to text in the early am when they are here and then I go open the door so that the doorbell doesn't ring and wake my kids up 1-3 hours early.

screaming would NOT be acceptable, and neither is the breach of contract in regards to the after school pick ups. Do you have the pickup in writing or was it a verbal agreement?

I agree, I would be seeking care elsewhere.
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Old 06-11-2013, 09:17 AM
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If the screaming was indeed SCREAMING as you put it, and it was as bad as you describe, no parent with an ounce of common sense would have left their children there in the care of someone who was that level of hysterical.

The things your family did ticked her off.

She had a right to be beyond irritated imho.

I probably wouldn't have SCREAMED, just terminated your family immediately instead, but it is what it is now. Move on and find other care if you think she is so wrong.


I can almost hear the providers side now "they were always calling early in the morning to see if I would allow early arrival which they didn't pay for, I asked them repeatedly not to knock on my door, which they did anyway waking up others, and now mom expects me to transport all the kids to school when my own kids walk each day" Now, the provider should have nipped all that stuff in the bud when it first started (and who knows, maybe she tried?) or just termed.
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Old 06-11-2013, 10:12 AM
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I'm with the parent here. I don't see that is ever ok to scream unless there is a real danger or emergency. If ANYONE screamed at my kids, I would Mama Bear them on the spot.

Yes, repeatedly knocking and showing up early is rude, but is it really the children's fault the father let them knock and showed up early? Should they really need to be screamed at so much so that the neighbors heard and discussed it afterwards? I don't think so.

I'm glad you are finding a new situation. If you have any questions, feel free to ask!
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Old 06-11-2013, 10:20 AM
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I'm with the parent here. I don't see that is ever ok to scream unless there is a real danger or emergency. If ANYONE screamed at my kids, I would Mama Bear them on the spot.

Yes, repeatedly knocking and showing up early is rude, but is it really the children's fault the father let them knock and showed up early? Should they really need to be screamed at so much so that the neighbors heard and discussed it afterwards? I don't think so.

I'm glad you are finding a new situation. If you have any questions, feel free to ask!
I agree. Screaming is never ok. This is all something that should be addressed between the adults.

The provider did not act professionally at all.

If she was upset about anything the family did, it is her obligation to handle it in a professional manner and not simply scream at anyone.

I think this was definitely the last straw for BOTH provider and family and it is time to find new care arrangements.

Communication is the key to solving, addressing and fixing almost all issues.
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Old 06-11-2013, 10:41 AM
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I'm with the parent here. I don't see that is ever ok to scream unless there is a real danger or emergency. If ANYONE screamed at my kids, I would Mama Bear them on the spot.

Yes, repeatedly knocking and showing up early is rude, but is it really the children's fault the father let them knock and showed up early? Should they really need to be screamed at so much so that the neighbors heard and discussed it afterwards? I don't think so.

I'm glad you are finding a new situation. If you have any questions, feel free to ask!
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I agree. Screaming is never ok. This is all something that should be addressed between the adults.

The provider did not act professionally at all.

If she was upset about anything the family did, it is her obligation to handle it in a professional manner and not simply scream at anyone.

I think this was definitely the last straw for BOTH provider and family and it is time to find new care arrangements.

Communication is the key to solving, addressing and fixing almost all issues.
I agree. This person sounds unstable and done with doing daycare, really. Between reneging on previous agreements suddenly, screaming at the children and the comments her husband made, she's done.

However, the kids shouldn't have been allowed to bang on the door repeatedly in addition to showing up early and they shouldn't have been left there after the screaming incident.

It seems the parents thought anything went because they don't bring the children all the time, as the OP mentioned that more than once. It also seems the provider thought since she allows special that she was justified in her reaction.

IMO, the relationship broke down and not just at that moment.
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Old 06-11-2013, 10:52 AM
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I want to be *very* clear here - *if* the provider truly did scream at the children, then it is not okay. No excuses.

But to be honest, I doubt the provider did. Supposedly it was soooo loud her neighbor heard (and how would they know? my neighbors wouldn't speak to my dc clients), but the father still leaves the children for the day? Really?

Too often parents hear the word "no" and it becomes "the provider was rude/out of line" Or they hear a "firm" voice and confuse it with "yelling" I imagine a parent who allowed their two, older children to bang on the providers door early in the AM (before contracted time) *may* just fall into that category.

Again, none of that makes yelling/screaming at the children okay, *if* that is honestly what happened.
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Old 06-11-2013, 01:09 PM
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I can almost hear the providers side now "they were always calling early in the morning to see if I would allow early arrival which they didn't pay for, I asked them repeatedly not to knock on my door, which they did anyway waking up others, and now mom expects me to transport all the kids to school when my own kids walk each day" Now, the provider should have nipped all that stuff in the bud when it first started (and who knows, maybe she tried?) or just termed.
Funny, but that's not at all what happened.We VERY rarely ever drop off early. And when we have, she told us literally that it's unnecessary to text her for just a few minutes and that she's up etc...she made it sound like the texting bothered her more at the time. We also were told when we p/u early, not to text, to just come get the kids. Is that what EVERYONE does, probably not, but that's how it's been at her house and so we just did what she asked. I think I was pretty clear with what happened according to my DH, my kids and the neighbor. Now if she was annoyed or if she's tired of doing dc, then that's on HER and still not a reason to behave how she did.

And the neighbor actually approached me, i didn't go up to her and start questioning her. She said "Wow, today was a rough morning for Mr. Man (she calls DH that) and the kiddos, huh?" I said "How so?" Already knowing the answer,and let the neighbor just talk. The neighbor and I are friendly as I see her almost every time I pick up, so it's not like I'm "just another dc mom". She was candid and honest about what she heard/saw and her account wasn't much different than the kids or DH (other than exact words being said)

Again, why my DH just left them, IDK. I can only imagine he froze and was embarrassed by the whole situation.

As far as the contract: It's written.

She said she transports to 2 schools (listed in contract)in the area which is where her kids/my kids go. She has always done this, so why she wants to change things without ASKING me if I was ok with it is odd. She could have said "I'm having my kids walk from school next year. If you would like your child to walk with them, we'll be signing a new contract, if not, this may not work anymore" SOMETHING/ANYTHING but to say they "WILL" be walking. Again, I pay her a fair amount of money as it is and she does very minimal care already, but then to pay the extra she gets for transportation, and she is NOT intending on picking them up? She didn't mention one thing about discounting the fee now that she won't be transporting anymore.

We're pretty good parents, I'd say.

We've always tried to notify her with anything that changes and she didn't really like that so the one time we don't, she gets mad so we can't win really.
We pay ON time, UP front and IN full every time
We pick up on time/early
We keep the kids when they don't need to be there
We keep them home if sick
We keep stocked up on their supplies that they need without being asked/reminded
We provide snacks/groceries upon her request (each parent buys certain things each week)
We give the donations she's asked for (toys, old clothes) so that she can keep her rates "fair" (her words).
We pay for field trips, etc without question and up front
We have always paid even when SHE calls off! Which lately has been quite frequent with her out of town trips and events where she can't make it back in time. So we pay her still, and then on top of that pay the backup. This has somewhat bothered me since March when it started, because we feel that while if WE call off, and the provider budgets, we should not be messing w/ her income. But when SHE calls off constantly (not even as part of her two weeks off per year that she has contracted as paid), she shouldn't be entitled to the income. We did not complain because we didn't want to rustle leaves, but with the latest event, I'm starting to suspect maybe some of her "absences" might have been planned. I would NOT get away with this at my job. I'd have been fired.

If she wanted something different than what she presented, she should have said something. We're pretty darn laid back, we don't mind if she gets on our kids, we don't worry about if she just yells now and again and we're flexible.


The more I think about the latest events, I think of some of the "littler" things that I never said anything about leading up to this. This is why I feel perhaps she doesn't want to do it anymore. Which is fine, because at least for OUR family, she won't be.
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  #27  
Old 06-11-2013, 01:13 PM
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Bingo.

IMHO, Finding alternate care is in both the providers and parents best interest.
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  #28  
Old 06-11-2013, 01:28 PM
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Funny, but that's not at all what happened.We VERY rarely ever drop off early. And when we have, she told us literally that it's unnecessary to text her for just a few minutes and that she's up etc...she made it sound like the texting bothered her more at the time. We also were told when we p/u early, not to text, to just come get the kids. Is that what EVERYONE does, probably not, but that's how it's been at her house and so we just did what she asked. I think I was pretty clear with what happened according to my DH, my kids and the neighbor. Now if she was annoyed or if she's tired of doing dc, then that's on HER and still not a reason to behave how she did.

And the neighbor actually approached me, i didn't go up to her and start questioning her. She said "Wow, today was a rough morning for Mr. Man (she calls DH that) and the kiddos, huh?" I said "How so?" Already knowing the answer,and let the neighbor just talk. The neighbor and I are friendly as I see her almost every time I pick up, so it's not like I'm "just another dc mom". She was candid and honest about what she heard/saw and her account wasn't much different than the kids or DH (other than exact words being said)

Again, why my DH just left them, IDK. I can only imagine he froze and was embarrassed by the whole situation.

As far as the contract: It's written.

She said she transports to 2 schools (listed in contract)in the area which is where her kids/my kids go. She has always done this, so why she wants to change things without ASKING me if I was ok with it is odd. She could have said "I'm having my kids walk from school next year. If you would like your child to walk with them, we'll be signing a new contract, if not, this may not work anymore" SOMETHING/ANYTHING but to say they "WILL" be walking. Again, I pay her a fair amount of money as it is and she does very minimal care already, but then to pay the extra she gets for transportation, and she is NOT intending on picking them up? She didn't mention one thing about discounting the fee now that she won't be transporting anymore.

We're pretty good parents, I'd say.

We've always tried to notify her with anything that changes and she didn't really like that so the one time we don't, she gets mad so we can't win really.
We pay ON time, UP front and IN full every time
We pick up on time/early
We keep the kids when they don't need to be there
We keep them home if sick
We keep stocked up on their supplies that they need without being asked/reminded
We provide snacks/groceries upon her request (each parent buys certain things each week)
We give the donations she's asked for (toys, old clothes) so that she can keep her rates "fair" (her words).
We pay for field trips, etc without question and up front
We have always paid even when SHE calls off! Which lately has been quite frequent with her out of town trips and events where she can't make it back in time. So we pay her still, and then on top of that pay the backup. This has somewhat bothered me since March when it started, because we feel that while if WE call off, and the provider budgets, we should not be messing w/ her income. But when SHE calls off constantly (not even as part of her two weeks off per year that she has contracted as paid), she shouldn't be entitled to the income. We did not complain because we didn't want to rustle leaves, but with the latest event, I'm starting to suspect maybe some of her "absences" might have been planned. I would NOT get away with this at my job. I'd have been fired.

If she wanted something different than what she presented, she should have said something. We're pretty darn laid back, we don't mind if she gets on our kids, we don't worry about if she just yells now and again and we're flexible.


The more I think about the latest events, I think of some of the "littler" things that I never said anything about leading up to this. This is why I feel perhaps she doesn't want to do it anymore. Which is fine, because at least for OUR family, she won't be.
Too bad you aren't local, I would want you to come to my house. Wish I could say those things about 1 of my day care parents!

Best of luck in finding great new care!
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  #29  
Old 06-11-2013, 01:55 PM
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I do not think she needs to ASK you to change the afterschool arrangements.

She told you in June the change that will be happening in the fall. That gives you all summer to either agree or find other care.
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Old 06-11-2013, 01:58 PM
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Too bad you aren't local, I would want you to come to my house. Wish I could say those things about 1 of my day care parents!

Best of luck in finding great new care!
Awww! Thanks and I'm sorry you can't I thought it was just standard to do those things. I also like to thank my DCP with 2 weeks additional pay at Christmas. I'm surprised more people don't! I can't work without a DCP so try to be as grateful as I can be. This is why I posted, to make sure *I* wasn't crazy, but the more I read and learned on the site just in a few days, the more I realized it's that time.
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Old 06-11-2013, 02:05 PM
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I do not think she needs to ASK you to change the afterschool arrangements.

She told you in June the change that will be happening in the fall. That gives you all summer to either agree or find other care.
I disagree. We signed our new contract already in January and it's supposed to go for 1 year.
Since this is a safety matter, I think she should have asked if I were ok with this rather than basically tell me I would have to be ok with it. It's not like she's changing her hours, she's changing the whole after school arrangement.
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  #32  
Old 06-11-2013, 05:13 PM
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EntropyControlSpecialist EntropyControlSpecialist is offline
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I would LOVE to have a client like you. I do have one very similar and I treasure that Mom. Best of luck!
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  #33  
Old 06-11-2013, 09:16 PM
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I disagree. We signed our new contract already in January and it's supposed to go for 1 year.
Since this is a safety matter, I think she should have asked if I were ok with this rather than basically tell me I would have to be ok with it. It's not like she's changing her hours, she's changing the whole after school arrangement.
Unfortunately things change. we can not predict the future. You had a contract and can cancel with notice at any time. You do not have to stay for the year.

You did not say if she told you WHY she needed to make the change but the point is she needed to make a change. Asking your permission served no purpose. This is why she told you now she needed to change the plan. She gave plenty of notice of the change.

It will not work for you so you have time to find after school care in the fall.
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Old 06-11-2013, 09:38 PM
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Personally as a DCP I would not break my own contract. (It would be breaking the contract to have the children walk home from school when contract specifically says they would be picked up) I would ASK the parent if we could modify the contact and if we could not then I would give 2 weeks notice as required in my contract.

I also think it is INCREDIBLY rude and unprofessional to yell at, raise voice to , or demean a parent or their children- for any reason. It definitely sounds like there was pre-existing problem of some kind w/ early drop offs, knocking or something, but that is NO reason to be rude! How about "Hey guys! I'm glad you guys are so excited to come in but remember, we don't ring the door bell because it wakes everyone up!" or coming to the door and whispering "Shhh, remember! don't ring the door bell, everyone is sleeping!" or "Oh no! you rang the doorbell again and now baby is going to be grouchy and cry! That is very sad since I had something awesome planned for us to do while she slept! Go ahead and come in and get a coloring book, I have to get everyone settled down before we can do something fun."

As many problems as we have with some parents it seems to me that we are giving this parent a pretty hard time for what seems like a pretty little mistake (if the issue is 10 min early d/o or loud knocking).
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Old 06-12-2013, 04:25 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JoseyJo View Post
Personally as a DCP I would not break my own contract. (It would be breaking the contract to have the children walk home from school when contract specifically says they would be picked up) I would ASK the parent if we could modify the contact and if we could not then I would give 2 weeks notice as required in my contract.

I also think it is INCREDIBLY rude and unprofessional to yell at, raise voice to , or demean a parent or their children- for any reason. It definitely sounds like there was pre-existing problem of some kind w/ early drop offs, knocking or something, but that is NO reason to be rude! How about "Hey guys! I'm glad you guys are so excited to come in but remember, we don't ring the door bell because it wakes everyone up!" or coming to the door and whispering "Shhh, remember! don't ring the door bell, everyone is sleeping!" or "Oh no! you rang the doorbell again and now baby is going to be grouchy and cry! That is very sad since I had something awesome planned for us to do while she slept! Go ahead and come in and get a coloring book, I have to get everyone settled down before we can do something fun."

As many problems as we have with some parents it seems to me that we are giving this parent a pretty hard time for what seems like a pretty little mistake (if the issue is 10 min early d/o or loud knocking).
I don't think I was giving the parent a "hard time" simply pointing out that it seemed odd that the provider had always been okay with the early arrival and then for some reason, that day, she was not. Then it comes out that the kids may have knocked on the door. Now, were they just knocking or banging? I don't know. It sounds as if there were many issues with this provider and the family need a provider that can meet their needs.
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