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  #1  
Old 08-26-2013, 07:34 AM
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Default Would You Do This with Your Own Child/ren?

I have dcp's who are going on vacation with their kids for the long weekend coming up. They have advertised on care.com and craigslist and are meeting two people on Friday afternoon, to babysit their two children (2 & 5m) in their hotel room while they go out Friday evening and Saturday evening.

I would NEVER even consider that, the possibilities of it going wrong are endless, but the dcm says 'oh they'll be fine, it's only for a few hours each evening.'

with a perfect stranger, in a hotel room. Am I paranoid?
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Old 08-26-2013, 07:38 AM
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I wouldn't do it but I am guessing many people do this kind of thing. For me, when we go on a family vacation that's exactly what it is...family That being said, I have never hired a babysitter where I live either. Grandparents are the only ones that have watched my kids.
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Old 08-26-2013, 07:53 AM
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I would not do this. Maybe I've watched too many news stories or lifetime movies, but this situation just feels off to me. To each his own I suppose.
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Old 08-26-2013, 07:55 AM
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I wouldn't, but I hardly ever leave my daughter. If we go somewhere, we want her there with us. In emergency, she has stayed with my mom and dad.
However, some of the families that send their kids to me for daycare really know nothing about me. They have talked to me briefly on the phone after getting my number off craigslist, have met me during a 30 minute or less interview, and leave their kid for 10 hours a day in my home. So, I would imagine leaving them for a few hours while on vacation wouldn't seem like a big deal to them either.
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Old 08-26-2013, 08:03 AM
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I've never hired a babysitter period. We've been fortunate to have family to use on occasion. However, I don't see it much different than hiring one of us providers to watch their kids. You never really know who/what your going to get or how your kids will be treated even with licensed providers...
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Old 08-26-2013, 08:29 AM
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Never.
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Old 08-26-2013, 08:32 AM
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I would.
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Old 08-26-2013, 08:36 AM
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Like many parents, they are probably banking on the fact that care.com would ONLY send them a reputable sitter.

No different than parents who want to enroll their child in daycare without an interview....most assume being licensed means you are "safe"...kwim?
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Old 08-26-2013, 08:38 AM
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Not something I would do. But like another poster said, our family vacations are to spend time as a family. We have had the grandparents keep the kids for a long weekend when we want to get away.
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Old 08-26-2013, 08:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
Like many parents, they are probably banking on the fact that care.com would ONLY send them a reputable sitter.

No different than parents who want to enroll their child in daycare without an interview....most assume being licensed means you are "safe"...kwim?

Terrifying reality.

Because predators and the mentally ill NEVER use the internet to prey on children and find families dumb enough to give them complete access without a second thought......

So scary and so sad.


OP, if you care about those kids please express your major concerns with the parents. If after explaining the dangers a family of mine still went on to leave the children I love with strangers they just met I'd term effective immediately. I will not work with families who readily endanger their children's lives. If they did I wouldn't hesitate to express to them what I thought about it.
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Old 08-26-2013, 09:28 AM
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I recently saw something like this on care.com as well...I thought who the heck does this? Only these parents wanted someone to come to their home while they went on vacation! Worse yet!!
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Old 08-26-2013, 09:37 AM
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Oh my god that is so scary!! It takes a lot less than a few hours to abduct or abuse a child. I would never consider that and am terrified for these children. I can't believe a parent can be so negligent and irresponsible that a few hours away from the kids (ON A FAMILY VACATION) is more important then their safety.
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  #13  
Old 08-26-2013, 09:57 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crunchymama View Post
I would not do this. Maybe I've watched too many news stories or lifetime movies, but this situation just feels off to me. To each his own I suppose.
that's how I feel
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Old 08-26-2013, 10:09 AM
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This would terrify me ... I would be too worried about my kids the entire time and not be able to enjoy it. I think Disney World has a baby-sitter program like that, where if you are staying in their resorts, you can hire one of their baby-sitters to come watch your kids while you enjoy a night out or something. Even something like that I couldn't do.

Like the others have said, too many creepers and scary stories out there these days.
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  #15  
Old 08-26-2013, 10:20 AM
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Never......a million times over.....Never
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Old 08-26-2013, 10:26 AM
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NEVER! I would think someone was joking if they even suggested it.
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  #17  
Old 08-26-2013, 10:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brooksie View Post
Oh my god that is so scary!! It takes a lot less than a few hours to abduct or abuse a child. I would never consider that and am terrified for these children. I can't believe a parent can be so negligent and irresponsible that a few hours away from the kids (ON A FAMILY VACATION) is more important then their safety.
Coming from these parents, it doesn't surprise me that she didn't THINK about their safety first, but I AM surprised that she didn't reconsider when I brought up the 'safety' issue. She is allll excited about being able to 'go out'.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Willow View Post
Terrifying reality.

Because predators and the mentally ill NEVER use the internet to prey on children and find families dumb enough to give them complete access without a second thought......

So scary and so sad.


OP, if you care about those kids please express your major concerns with the parents. If after explaining the dangers a family of mine still went on to leave the children I love with strangers they just met I'd term effective immediately. I will not work with families who readily endanger their children's lives. If they did I wouldn't hesitate to express to them what I thought about it.
I will be bringing it up to dcd tonight, he is younger but FAR more mature/concerned for the kids. Dcm says that the woman they are meeting from care.com has references and she kept saying 'they do a background check', and I kept reiterating that so does the state and licensed providers are ALWAYS in the news. a piece of paper isn't going to protect your children!

I could never do this. I would never be able to leave the room for fear that my children wouldn't be there when I got back, or be hurt, etc. I will have YEARS to 'go out' when they are older.

I don't think I am willing to term over it, but I will be nervous for my little dcb and his sister all weekend.

I understand that parents leave their children with us, virtually strangers, sometimes after a single interview. That's why I require two separate interviews, I give them my background check, I give them references and even then it takes a while for my parents to warm up to me and trust me. I think most people are FARRRR too trusting with whom they allow their children to come into contact with, let alone watch them.
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Old 08-26-2013, 10:56 AM
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I cater mostly to teacher's kids during the year so in the summer I usually have a mix of schoola-agers: some who have grown-up with me & some who have gotten my name form someone or heard about me in the neighborhood, etc. I cannot tell you how many times I have watched a child all week and the parent goes write me a check on Friday and asks, "What is your last name again?"

I personally would not hire a baby-sitter in the fashion the OP described. Mainly because if we were ever lucky enough to go on vacation I would want to spend every minute with my kids, but also because of safety. If the parents really want to go out they should consider inviting a mother's helper they are already familiar with and trust to go along with them.
'
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Old 08-26-2013, 11:02 AM
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NEVER! we do use a sitter on occasion but never a stranger.

but i have had daycare parents spend as little as 15 minutes at an interview, call my references (who could be anybody if you think about it....) and then send their kids the next week. And I am not licensed. no one ever asks for a background check or driving record although i can provide both. i dont think all of my daycare parents even called my references....
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Old 08-26-2013, 11:06 AM
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I would not. However, I have had people from church or family or people we knew from the neighborhood ask one of my older kids to travel with them on a vacation to watch younger kids.

Maybe suggest they ask a teen from their church, a family member or their standard evening babysitter to go along? Even if they don't know someone, a local church or school might be able to recommend someone who is good with kids/ has a good reputation.
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  #21  
Old 08-26-2013, 11:47 AM
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I would never have someone watch my child in that way.

However we were on vacation in the German alps and we did us the base daycare for a day during our 10 day vacation. We wanted to do a gorge walk that was definitely not toddler friendly. We dropped our kids off after chatting with their caregiver for a few minutes. I know the center has video surveillance, more than 1 staff per room and front desk clerks who must monitor the videos at different increments.

THere was a list of military family members in the area that would watch your child in your hotel room or you could drop them off at their house for a day out. I personally didn't feel comfortable with this so we stuck with the childcare center.
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  #22  
Old 08-26-2013, 12:05 PM
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http://fox17online.com/2013/08/20/po...#axzz2d6EX0n2d

This couple lived near my town. There are also other cases of people answering and placing ads to babysit that have done the exact same thing. You simply have to google it and the stories pop up.

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2810169/posts

There are many, many others. Even if the parents want a break-I believe our first job as parents is to PROTECT our kids. Leaving them with an absolute stranger is ridiculously dangerous.
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  #23  
Old 08-26-2013, 12:07 PM
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I'm going to be completely honest here and say I would.

We are going to a wedding next weekend in Cape Cod, and we were originally told we could not bring our daughter to the wedding. Everyone I know will be at the wedding, and It's not like I can bring a sitter with us. (I mean I could, but that would add about $500 to the trip.)

We were planning on using the babysitting service recommended by the hotel, but is was $27/hour, and they wouldn't let us combine our kid with my friend's kid to share the cost. I advertise on Care.com, and that's where we found our evening babysitter as well. I called her references and met with her in advance before she met my daughter, I felt very comfortable, and she is great with her.

That being said, we turned to care.com to find a sitter in Cape Cod for next weekend. I was planning on meeting with the sitter on Saturday (wedding is Sunday) and then going from there. I think as long as your calling references, and meeting in advance, it's the same as using a neighbor or a friend's teenager.

It turned out to be a moot point, since the bride changed her mind and is allowing kids, but I was prepared to do it.

I also think it's completely acceptable for parents to want to go out for a night during their family vacation.
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Old 08-26-2013, 12:16 PM
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No, not ever! It would have to be someone that I know or maybe someone that was referred to me by friends or family. My kids have never had a babysitter besides family though.
But then again, like other pp's have said, all of my families only met me for the interview and then their kids were here. I only had one family ask for references, which I thought was strange. Good thing they found a great person to take care of their kids!
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Old 08-26-2013, 12:21 PM
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Never,Ever, Ever!!?
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  #26  
Old 08-26-2013, 12:31 PM
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Nope! No way! ONE time we left our 16 yo in the hotel room when her legs were sore from walking and she didn't want to go out w/ the rest of the family for our evening plans. I thought it would be fine- is is 16 what could go wrong??

She ended up going down to the check in desk and complaining that her legs hurt (she was a TOTAL drama queen at this age!!) they asked her if she wanted to see a nurse and she said yes. They called an ambulance- and we got a call from the EMT saying they had our daughter could either take her to the ER or they could release her to us. They would not release her on her own as she was a minor. ***! SO embarrassing! So from now on if we go they go, or we have an adult family member watch them
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Old 08-26-2013, 02:42 PM
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No way would I do this, the point of me bring my kids on vac. With me would to do things as a family, if we wanted time alone we would have went on vac without the kids and left them with family.... Absolutely not!
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Old 08-26-2013, 03:02 PM
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I personally wouldn't but that's because I don't spend any time away from my kids .....I miss them too much!

I don't judge those who do use the babysitting services at all. As long as they check references, get a background and do an interview beforehand (and they are comfortable with the person)....I guess I just don't see how any of this is different than what parents do with us . The parents I have enrolled did not even do all of this stuff when they signed on with me.....they all had 1-2 interviews and a couple families asked for a background check. Otherwise, nobody bothered to even call my references.
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  #29  
Old 08-26-2013, 03:12 PM
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I have used a professional service recommended by our hotel before. I remember my parents doing the same for my sister and I as kids as well. I don't know that I would use someone off craigslist or care.com without multiple references. Plus in my state if you're over 18 you must be LiveScan fingerprinted to work with children, even at a church nursery or volunteer.
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Old 08-26-2013, 03:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MCC View Post
I'm going to be completely honest here and say I would.

We are going to a wedding next weekend in Cape Cod, and we were originally told we could not bring our daughter to the wedding. Everyone I know will be at the wedding, and It's not like I can bring a sitter with us. (I mean I could, but that would add about $500 to the trip.)

We were planning on using the babysitting service recommended by the hotel, but is was $27/hour, and they wouldn't let us combine our kid with my friend's kid to share the cost. I advertise on Care.com, and that's where we found our evening babysitter as well. I called her references and met with her in advance before she met my daughter, I felt very comfortable, and she is great with her.

That being said, we turned to care.com to find a sitter in Cape Cod for next weekend. I was planning on meeting with the sitter on Saturday (wedding is Sunday) and then going from there. I think as long as your calling references, and meeting in advance, it's the same as using a neighbor or a friend's teenager.

It turned out to be a moot point, since the bride changed her mind and is allowing kids, but I was prepared to do it.

I also think it's completely acceptable for parents to want to go out for a night during their family vacation.
I agree... I don't have any fun places to go but... I would if I had the needed info prior to going out. I will say tho I would be less likely to use a care.com site if my child wasn't old enough to have a cell to call me if needed. But I would still use a hotel service if it was on the up and up
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Old 08-26-2013, 07:54 PM
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At 2 and 5 mos? No, because they're not able to tell me if something goes wrong. For my older ones (10 and 12)? Maybe.

I'd also be way more inclined to put them in a "public" area for sitting services (like the childcare at Disney or on a Cruise, etc.) than I would to have a stranger in my hotel room.
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Old 08-26-2013, 07:59 PM
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Originally Posted by AfterSchoolMom View Post
At 2 and 5 mos? No, because they're not able to tell me if something goes wrong. For my older ones (10 and 12)? Maybe.

I'd also be way more inclined to put them in a "public" area for sitting services (like the childcare at Disney or on a Cruise, etc.) than I would to have a stranger in my hotel room.
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Old 08-27-2013, 04:00 AM
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I spoke to dcd about it. He doesn't like the idea! He said they are visiting friends with kids, and everyone is going out. Um, how about asking for a sitter and having them watched with all of the other kids, or asking for a sitter reference. He is going to do that and ask that they can stay at the friends house to be watched. We will see!
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