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  #1  
Old 08-14-2013, 08:48 AM
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Default Don't Want to Argue

UGh.....

About a month ago I signed a holding contract with a new family for a full time spot. The family now tells me they need part time. Then I agree and they say well now we can't afford childcare at all and want out deposit back.

The family was banking on the DCD getting a job that would then require her child to be in care. I knew of this the whole way through that even though the dad was very very close to landing the job (law enforcement) they ended up not passing the final phase of the process and no job now.

I had told them that I was not willing to give a refund, that this is what we agreed to and that it didn't matter the reason, I know that it was not intentional , but the entire reason I require a holding fee to be paid in the first place.

Well the DCM keeps at it asking me for the deposit back and telling me that they are in a very horrible position now that DCD didn't get the job. Do I feel bad? Sure, but I don't want to go back and let them push me over.

Well that decision to stand strong and say no was in me until this morning when the DCM sent an email that basically told me off. At this point I feel like saying FINE, I will be willing to give you back HALF.

What do you guys think?? I really don't want to argue with anyone.
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Old 08-14-2013, 08:53 AM
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wait....

first they signed on and asked you to HOLD a space for them (you earning NO money while holding this space)

then they say they can't afford it and please can they have their money back

you say no, they read the agreement and KNEW there are no refunds

now the parents is having a tantrum (by telling you off)

and you want to give them their money back?



Hun, YOU need to stop feeling badly. They agreed to something, didn't get what they had banked on and now they want YOU to suck up the loss....


WAAAAAAAAY too many things wrong with this scenario.

Oh, and as far as advice for what I think you should do......

You already know what I am going to say.
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Old 08-14-2013, 08:53 AM
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Nope nope nope.


You wouldn't give in to a whining, bullying child. I know you wouldn't.
Don't give in to an adult doing the same. No means no. It's even worse it if was no a hundred times, and now it's a yes...

You said no, you mean no. Stop opening or responding to her emails.

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  #4  
Old 08-14-2013, 08:57 AM
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Odd- her telling me off would have made my backbone stronger!
As others have said before: this is a business- you will here all sorts of sad stories but bottom line is you need income to make your business successful!
I personally would just end contact with this family. Maybe a short reply stating : I am sorry you feel that way. I am abiding by the contract you signed. There is no further reason to discuss this further. I wish you and yours the best of luck.
She won't be happy with half is my bet- she wants it ALL! Don't engage with her or participate in her fit throwing...
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Old 08-14-2013, 09:09 AM
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A rude email would be even MORE reason for me to say no!
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Old 08-14-2013, 09:10 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
wait....

first they signed on and asked you to HOLD a space for them (you earning NO money while holding this space)

then they say they can't afford it and please can they have their money back

you say no, they read the agreement and KNEW there are no refunds

now the parents is having a tantrum (by telling you off)

and you want to give them their money back?



Hun, YOU need to stop feeling badly. They agreed to something, didn't get what they had banked on and now they want YOU to suck up the loss....


WAAAAAAAAY too many things wrong with this scenario.

Oh, and as far as advice for what I think you should do......

You already know what I am going to say.
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  #7  
Old 08-14-2013, 09:40 AM
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Be strong and stand your ground!!!

I remember not to long ago that you had a "left hook" for my issue.....

Well I got one for your DCM......

YOU GOT THIS!!!! Business is business
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Old 08-14-2013, 09:40 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daycare View Post
Well that decision to stand strong and say no was in me until this morning when the DCM sent an email that basically told me off.
No way!!! If someone told ME off the last thing on my mind is to do what they want!

What would you do if you told a child No and they threw a big tantrum? Would you give in or would you hold even firmer?
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Old 08-14-2013, 09:48 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NeedaVaca View Post
A rude email would be even MORE reason for me to say no!
YEP! Don't give them any back. Especially after she crossed the line with a nasty email. You guys had an agreement, you held the spot, they're backing out.. YOU KEEP EVERY CENT OF THAT DEPOSIT.
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  #10  
Old 08-14-2013, 10:03 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NeedaVaca View Post
A rude email would be even MORE reason for me to say no!
Exactly this. I think I would have been more inclined to offer to give back at least a portion of the holding fee back in the beginning because of their situation (willing that I was in a position to afford to give it back) and if I were to have gotten a nasty email from them then I DEFINITELY wouldn't give it back.

PS ... Just some food for thought to all providers that charge to hold a spot ... make sure that your contract language says "Holding Fee" and not "Holding Deposit". "Fee" is a charge and "deposit" insinuates that you get it back or that it goes towards something. "Deposit" just confuses people even if the contract says "non-refundable". Just something to chew on. (this is coming from co-workers of DH that are contract lawyers ... in CA).
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  #11  
Old 08-14-2013, 10:22 AM
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This is when I would send a polite, but laced with sarcasm.

It's unfortunately your husband did not study hard enough to provide for your family. With that said, I cannot see where his responsibility is now mine. I understand your frustration. If you would like to discuss this any further, please feel free to secure a date with circuit court judge XXX. I will be more than happy to explain it to him. Otherwise this will be my last correspondence with you. Please have a good day!!
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  #12  
Old 08-14-2013, 10:36 AM
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This mom is like the nagging child-trying to wear you out til you give in and say yes. Tell her "not just no, but heck no!" Then take that fee & head to the nearest spa!
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  #13  
Old 08-14-2013, 10:41 AM
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This is the perfect time to get used to and comfortable with using your backbone.... they aren't enrolling with you so you really have nothing to lose.
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  #14  
Old 08-14-2013, 10:49 AM
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How is it YOUR responsibility? It's NOT. Imo, you have already lost out on money by holding the spot in the first place. They gave you a non refundable holding fee. It's just that, not refundable. Sorry!
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  #15  
Old 08-14-2013, 10:53 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daycare View Post
UGh.....

About a month ago I signed a holding contract with a new family for a full time spot. The family now tells me they need part time. Then I agree and they say well now we can't afford childcare at all and want out deposit back.

The family was banking on the DCD getting a job that would then require her child to be in care. I knew of this the whole way through that even though the dad was very very close to landing the job (law enforcement) they ended up not passing the final phase of the process and no job now.

I had told them that I was not willing to give a refund, that this is what we agreed to and that it didn't matter the reason, I know that it was not intentional , but the entire reason I require a holding fee to be paid in the first place.

Well the DCM keeps at it asking me for the deposit back and telling me that they are in a very horrible position now that DCD didn't get the job. Do I feel bad? Sure, but I don't want to go back and let them push me over.

Well that decision to stand strong and say no was in me until this morning when the DCM sent an email that basically told me off. At this point I feel like saying FINE, I will be willing to give you back HALF.

What do you guys think?? I really don't want to argue with anyone.
I don't do holding fees. I just hold a spot for a maximum of two weeks and then give it to someone else if they don't come through. They don't pay me until they start. Then I collect the first and last week of care fee.

How long did you hold the spot and how much money did they give you? If you held the spot for a long time (more than 2 weeks) I'd keep it. If not, I'd probably give it back. But then I wouldn't have collected in the first place so I guess my answer is a bunch of nonsense anyway.

Laurel

P.S. I just re-read and see you held it for a month. I'd keep the money then. I'd send an email and would tell them the exact amount you would have made if you wouldn't have been holding the spot for them. I charge $150 a week so I would have said "Because I held this spot for you, I lost $600. Your holding fee will go towards covering my loss as per the contract you signed."
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  #16  
Old 08-14-2013, 12:13 PM
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You said non-refundable. You need to stick to the rules you make.

They are not your clients. You are not obligated to open and read any e-mails.
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Old 08-14-2013, 02:18 PM
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Absolutely not. Do not reward this woman for rude, inappropriate, and entitled behavior.

If it had been me, I may have considered a refund UNTIL the email was sent. Telling ME off would seal the deal on sticking with policy.
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Old 08-14-2013, 04:31 PM
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I don't like to argue with people either but... geez! I agree with the others on this. I would send a polite, professional letter stating what our agreement was and reminding her that I was willing to accommodate her when she wanted to change from full to part time hours. I'd briefly explain why the fee is non-refundable and then I would wish her well. I'd also enclose a copy of the signed contract. I'd highlight her signature and my policy on fees being non-refundable. Before I sent it to her, I'd take a copy of everything being mailed to her just in case she decides to take it to small claims court.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
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Old 08-14-2013, 04:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Laurel View Post
I don't do holding fees. I just hold a spot for a maximum of two weeks and then give it to someone else if they don't come through. They don't pay me until they start. Then I collect the first and last week of care fee.

How long did you hold the spot and how much money did they give you? If you held the spot for a long time (more than 2 weeks) I'd keep it. If not, I'd probably give it back. But then I wouldn't have collected in the first place so I guess my answer is a bunch of nonsense anyway.

Laurel

P.S. I just re-read and see you held it for a month. I'd keep the money then. I'd send an email and would tell them the exact amount you would have made if you wouldn't have been holding the spot for them. I charge $150 a week so I would have said "Because I held this spot for you, I lost $600. Your holding fee will go towards covering my loss as per the contract you signed."
THis is exactly what I did......

I emailed the DCM and said that the reason I charge the NON-refundable fee is because I am taking a RISK of losing income in my case $775.00. So having at least $200 does not make it such a huge loss for me in the end. I do think that I will no longer hold spots for fee.

I will do 2 weeks no fee, but if they don't start on that 2 week mark then I open it up to other prospects,....

I did also tell her that I really did not appreciate the nasty email and that from this point on there was no need to contact me.

Thanks guys for helping me stand firm....Gosh I give in quickly and that's why people kick me, because they know eventually I will fall and give in...

NOPE not this time.
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Old 08-14-2013, 04:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daycare View Post
THis is exactly what I did......

I emailed the DCM and said that the reason I charge the NON-refundable fee is because I am taking a RISK of losing income in my case $775.00. So having at least $200 does not make it such a huge loss for me in the end. I do think that I will no longer hold spots for fee.

I will do 2 weeks no fee, but if they don't start on that 2 week mark then I open it up to other prospects,....

I did also tell her that I really did not appreciate the nasty email and that from this point on there was no need to contact me.

Thanks guys for helping me stand firm....Gosh I give in quickly and that's why people kick me, because they know eventually I will fall and give in...

NOPE not this time.


I would not change your deposit policy. This works for you, and this woman has no right to take away that good business practice from you because she is snarky.

You can put a two-week limit on the deposit, though, or whatever time period you choose.

You did nothing wrong. Don't let her boorish behavior make you think otherwise.
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Old 08-14-2013, 04:54 PM
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Originally Posted by daycare View Post
THis is exactly what I did......

I emailed the DCM and said that the reason I charge the NON-refundable fee is because I am taking a RISK of losing income in my case $775.00. So having at least $200 does not make it such a huge loss for me in the end. I do think that I will no longer hold spots for fee.

I will do 2 weeks no fee, but if they don't start on that 2 week mark then I open it up to other prospects,....

I did also tell her that I really did not appreciate the nasty email and that from this point on there was no need to contact me.

Thanks guys for helping me stand firm....Gosh I give in quickly and that's why people kick me, because they know eventually I will fall and give in...

NOPE not this time.
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Old 08-14-2013, 07:45 PM
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Originally Posted by daycare View Post
THis is exactly what I did......

I emailed the DCM and said that the reason I charge the NON-refundable fee is because I am taking a RISK of losing income in my case $775.00. So having at least $200 does not make it such a huge loss for me in the end. I do think that I will no longer hold spots for fee.

I will do 2 weeks no fee, but if they don't start on that 2 week mark then I open it up to other prospects,....

I did also tell her that I really did not appreciate the nasty email and that from this point on there was no need to contact me.

Thanks guys for helping me stand firm....Gosh I give in quickly and that's why people kick me, because they know eventually I will fall and give in...

NOPE not this time.
Good for you!

Laurel
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  #23  
Old 08-14-2013, 08:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daycare View Post
THis is exactly what I did......

I emailed the DCM and said that the reason I charge the NON-refundable fee is because I am taking a RISK of losing income in my case $775.00. So having at least $200 does not make it such a huge loss for me in the end. I do think that I will no longer hold spots for fee.

I will do 2 weeks no fee, but if they don't start on that 2 week mark then I open it up to other prospects,....

I did also tell her that I really did not appreciate the nasty email and that from this point on there was no need to contact me.

Thanks guys for helping me stand firm....Gosh I give in quickly and that's why people kick me, because they know eventually I will fall and give in...

NOPE not this time.
I only hold for 2 weeks WITH a fee. That way, if they bail that deposit covers the 2 weeks I was waiting around.
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