When I first found this forum and was too chicken to register but desperately wanted to post some questions, I posted as an "unregistered" user (just until I realized you ladies don't bite ).

Whenever I posted a little message would pop-up saying my post was "pending approval" or something similar. Just wondering how that works... If "unregistered" posts are approve before posted how does something like what recently happened occur?

(PLEASE, PLEASE don't be offended...I am seriously curious about how this works. I am very appreciative of Michael and the mods for the work they do here and am not blaming anyone for what happened.)

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Hey, no worries...it's always a good thing when users know how something works...

It USED to be that unregistered posters made posts that sat in moderation.

This means the post was not visible to anyone until a moderator came along and "approved" the post.

This was a satisfactory way of doing things other than the fact that if no moderator was on the forum, it could take a long time for a post to be approved.

Sometimes that wait was too much and alot of potential members didn't bother coming back to the forum.

We also have A LOT of regular readers/posters that choose to stay "unregistered" (which is perfectly fine...although there ARE perks to being a member) and their posts would be approved well after the thread died or was no longer a topic of conversation...etc

Anyways a while back, Michael made it so that posts from unregistered posters could be "moderated" automatically via a computerized system where the poster has to answer a question correctly thus approving their posts.

It's like those things where they ask you to prove you are human and have to type in words, symbols or letters...kwim?

Now all unregistered posts are moderated automatically via the software.

This is a good thing because now there is no lag time for unregistered posters and having their posts posted and the mods don't have to spend all day approving posts.

It is a bad thing because now ANYONE can post inflammatory or hateful things such as what happened yesterday.

BUUUT, the point of moderating posts before was PRIMARILY to stop spammers and automated spam posts. With the current set up, spam or automated spam posters can't answer the questions so we have virtually NO spam posts (and there used to be TONS!...so many that most mods didn't get a chance to participate in the forum discussions because the spammers were non-stop...)

Moderators also approved or denied mean and nasty posts too but honestly they were so few and far between that it was still a good thing to go automated as far as the "big picture" goes.

Now if we have a nasty poster like yesterday, someone usually reports it and one of the mods is notified and we come on and delete them, ban them and/or notify Michael if necessary.

So in one aspect it doesn't stop what happened yesterday but what the automation does do is still far more beneficial than not. Yesterday's incident is rare so mod can handle those as they happen.

I hope that all makes sense... if not, let me know.

I am ALWAYS happy to help

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Yes, I joined the site a couple of months ago. I posted as unregistered for a bit before that, and I only had to type in some child care related words, and my unregistered posts appeared right away.

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Thanks Blackcat! That makes sense! I was thinking sitting and approving all unregistered posts would be a daunting task to say the least!

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Yikes, what happened yesterday?! I breezed through and don't see what y'all are referring to.

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Some one apparently thought they "found" someone (a member here) and posted several posts calling them names and saying some really horrible stuff to them.

Made several posts within threads not relating and started several threads we had to delete. Some of the threads were appearing faster than we could keep up with deleting them.

Not sure what their issue is/was but they ended up saying "Oops, wrong person. sorry" and then left....

So still....I have NO clue what their issue was but they "appear" to have disappeared now.

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Thanks, Leanna. I truly appreciate your concern.

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And frankly, imho, unregistered users should not be allowed to post. Because of what happened yesterday and because of the confusion it causes when multiple unregistereds post on the same thread.

It only take 30 seconds to register and it's not like they're asking for a dna sample or anything. They're just asking for a way to identify everyone online using a "user name", not their real names, should something happen like it did yesterday.

And I believe those occurrences would be almost nonexistent if everyone was identifiable. Haven't you noticed that the vast majority of hateful comments come from unregistered users? They can hide behind the fact that they're unregistered, so they become much more brazen.

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This concern comes up frequently. I will return later to respond.
Too hard to reply via my phone.

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What happened yesterday, bothered me and it was unfortunate.

Yet, I think unregistered guest have shared valuable concerns, question and information just as registered members.

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Unregistered posters have just as much valuable input and content to add as anyone else.

It may only take a minute to register but not all readers/posters are planning to stick around and may only visit this site for one particular issue and not need an account or membership.

We have had PLENTY of drama on this forum and not all came from unregistered posters. As a matter of fact some of the most dramatic and heated topics and conversations have happened between members.

What happened on Saturday was really not all that uncommon. Yes, it was over the top and totally uncalled for but you are also not the first person something like this has happened to.

Whether a poster is unregistered or not makes no difference to the point of this forum. WE (the users that do visit daily) view this place much differently than what it was intended to be. The site is to offer resources and education to providers. The fact that is serves as a water cooler and "break room" for regular members is a bonus but not the point.

Banning unregistered posters from posting would not be fair as the content, info and resources posted does not lose merit or validity simply because there is no "user name" or avatar next to the post.

In reality what posters (BOTH unregistered and registered) need to remember is that this is a PUBLIC forum and ANYTHING you put on the internet is no longer private and or personal if you are choosing to share it.

Once you type words and hit submit, the info no longer belongs to just you.

We all have a personal responsibility to own what we post. BOTH negative and positive. We can't control what other people do with that info.

It's also important to remember that it is virtually impossible to block someone from using a public forum. I can block the IP address but the person posting can simply drive to any place that has free wi-fi and use it. If I block that address, they can drive to the next place and post again. There are also tons of programs/software available the "hide" your IP address or block it from being visible (thus not blockable).

So in closing I am so sorry that you were a targeted and what happened happened, but there really is no viable solution for making sure it doesn't happen again other than handling like we did.

Unregistered posters are never going to be banned or not allowed so that will never be an option. To help members with that, Michael has offered both an Off Topic area and a Private thread area for members only. Unregistered posters have NO access to either area. This helps when you are wanting to post something with a bit more security. It's still important to remember that NOTHING written on the world wide web though is 100% confidential so responsibility for what is said or not said falls on both parties.

There are crazies every where in the world and unfortunately we have to just find ways to deal with them and not let them win but we can't stop them.

We have several threads about the importance of unregistered posters that also explain it well. I will try to find a couple and re-post. It's good info and always a good reminder for those members who post personal info.

I hope that makes sense for everyone reading and those who were wondering.

If anyone has any questions/concerns, please feel free to PM me. I will happily help in any way I can.

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So if i post strictly in the members only areas, unregistered users can't respond to my posts?

I agree that there are far more valuable unregistered users than there are trolls, but I don't want to open myself up to such attacks. And I can't see any registered member saying things like the troll did, because hey, they're registered! No one would want to put there name on such horrible comments.

I really love this forum and have come to depend on all of you as my online "friends" to share advice with, stories with, etc, but at the same time, I can't come here and be called a baby killer. My mental/emotional health can't take it.

So I'm thinking it may be best for me to either post only where members can respond, or just lay off the forum for a while, as much as I would HATE that. I don't want to be "run off", but this whole situation has made me afraid of what may happen if I post here.

I hope you understand where I'm coming from. I'm not advocating for you guys to change the entire format of this forum. I'm just trying to protect myself. So would you suggest I stick to members only areas?

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OR!! Brainstorm! Change my user name?? Would that remove the trace back to my story about Sal?

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Just changing your user name won't do it. You'd have to create a whole new account.

If you posted only under the "closed" areas of the forum I know many people, myself included, would miss your input. However, I completely understand and agree that you need to protect yourself from abuse.

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That's my big hang up! I feel like I've gotten to know so many of you and I know you don't all make your way over to those members only areas!

If BC thinks it would detach me from my story, then I would be willing to create a whole new account. I would just message my friends privately and let them know it's me. On the other hand, that's MY story dammit. I shouldn't have to detach myself from it.

I'm so torn.

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It must have taken a lot of courage and emotional strength to post your story here to begin with. I'd hate for you to have to detach from something that I am sure changed your life and impacts you everyday. However, I still think your emotional health is the most important factor. I am sure you feel torn because what happened is a part of you, but remember that baby and his family will always be in your heart and thoughts no matter what your "user name" or whatnot.

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Changing your user name makes ALL your old posts reflect your new user name.

You would have to create a whole new account and close the old one. Just PM me and I can help you out.

Also, yes ANY posts in the off topic and private thread areas are visible/accessible by registered users ONLY.

Unregistered users can not see or read any of the threads or posts in those areas.

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Correct.

Unfortunately that is not necessarily true.

We've had our share of registered crazies too.

Totally understandable that you would feel the way you do and I am sorry it happened but you have to understand that there really isn't anything the forum can change.

As posters we have to remember that we are chosing whether or not to put information out there. We can't control how readers (BOTH registered and unregistered) are going to react.

You've been an active poster and been a very enjoyable member of many discussions.
You've shared tips and tricks as well as support and friendship to others but you have also chosen on two different occasions to share some rather personal things about yourself

I most definitely respect your right to do that and while I sympathize with you in regards to what happened, you have to bear some responsibility in this and recognize that you posted personal (and controversial according to some) information about yourself openly.

Like Leanna, I commend you and think you were brave to share what you experienced but as I said before, this is a public forum and you (general you) can't control how the public is going to react.

We had a regular member here not too long ago that shared something very personal about herself. Someone took that information and used it against her. She was reported to licensing and went through all sorts of hell. She ended up quitting daycare because the stress of the fallout was too much.

Everything we post becomes "public" as soon as it's posted on the internet.
Others have a right to react to it.
We try to keep the nasty stuff out but we can't completely stop it.

That's something we all have to remember.

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Can those original threads be deleted?

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PM me, I am not sure which ones...

Some... Maybe... but under normal circumstances threads can't be deleted as it messes with the content of the forum but in your case some of the ones containing personal info could absolutely be deleted/altered.

You'd have to point me in the right direction as to which ones though.

PM me the links to which posts/threads.

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