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Old 03-30-2012, 08:56 AM
Mary Poppins's Avatar
Mary Poppins Mary Poppins is offline Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 403
Default Cold Shoulder From DCM After Vacation

In my policies I give each family 2 unpaid weeks for vacation or sick days and they can use the days all at once or individually.

The problem is, I didn't put a condition on how soon they can use their 2 weeks a year (changing that to 6 months of enrollment for all new families before it kicks in). I did put that the two weeks is for EACH FAMILY so regardless of the # of children that's all they get.

Two newer families have exhausted most of their time off within the first few weeks of enrollment. I only require 1 week's notice (which I received) and financially it isn't an issue. It only bothers me because I am starting to sense some resentment building with one dcf in particular.

This dcf used 4 days for one child the second week their 2 kids were here and then used 2 days last week for both siblings. So they have used 6 days total out of 10.

(On a side note, it is safe to assume that 2 weeks = 10 days, right? Since I only watch their children M-F? I mean, no one is expecting it to mean 14 days, I hope! lol)

Anyway, at pick up last friday, dcd told me they WEREN'T using the vacation days and would be paying for the entire week to save what was left of their allotted days, but apparently he didn't communicate this to dcm so when it came time to pay me this week, I got a text asking what she owed. I told her the amount for the full week because of what dcd said. To make a long story short, I ended up prorating the week for them since she had given me the proper notice ahead of time and I was expecting the 2 days to be used. I honestly didn't care either way.

I also let her know they now have 4 days left of their 10 possible days. She didn't question it but now I am getting a VERY cold shoulder from her. She barely wants to talk to me and when I try to engage her it is so uncomfortable where before this it was completely opposite. Either she is embarrassed or mad, I have no way of knowing and won't attempt to assume.

Still, it bothers me. Should I ignore this and see if her attitude changes or say something? It's so bad that I can't even talk to her about important things in her kid's day because of how quickly she wants in and out and that really bugs me!! I stress with my dcf's that communication is EVERYTHING and it is becoming impossible.

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Old 03-30-2012, 09:14 AM
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Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 19,760

If you already tried to engage her in conversation to address this issue and she is not responding, I would drop it. You can't MAKE her listen or understand. All you can do is try and that is it.

As far as telling her about her child's day, I would just say something short and simple such as "Billy had a great day, he is really coming along nicely with writing his letters." or something similar. Again, if she doesn't respond, then whatever. You did what you could do.

The rest is on her.
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Old 03-30-2012, 09:18 AM
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MrsB MrsB is offline Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Maryland
Posts: 590

Sounds like the "Honeymoon" phase is over? If ya get my drift.

Have you said outright "Since the whole mix up with the vacation days, it seems you are not as bubbly as you used to be, is something upsetting you?"
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Old 03-30-2012, 09:35 AM
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MizzCheryl MizzCheryl is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 478

I stress with my dcf's that communication is EVERYTHING and it is becoming impossible.


I had a parent do this before over money.
It makes for a nerve wracking arrangement.
But you are right communication is everything.
Adults should act better. I have been given the cold shoulder many times and in my experience the person usually gets over it in time. They are the sulkers hehehe.
We have had kids like that. They pout and you ignore it and they get over it.

Why do people pout? To get their way usually, sometime to hurt your feelings.
I would do her just the same as I would a pouting child. lol
I would find something cute her child did and I would just laugh myself silly when she came in telling her about it. If she is so busy pouting that she cannot see humor in something her own child did then let her pout.

I once had a little leo that was the queen of pouting, one of my lil DCBs goesup to her while she is having a little pout and says "I____ can I pout wiff you? We all had a good laugh.
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Old 03-30-2012, 05:22 PM
Mary Poppins's Avatar
Mary Poppins Mary Poppins is offline Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 403

Well whatever it was, it's over. When DCM came at pickup she was back to her bubbly self.

My other dcm brought me the CUTEST FREAKING GIFT today, too. I really, really all of my dcp's right now. I think that's why I don't want things to go sour with any of them.

Whew! Glad things are back to normal.
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paid vacations, parent notification

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