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tenderhearts 12:37 PM 06-01-2010
A month ago I made a change to my "policy" and said no more toys from home (I was having a lot of problems) but in place of that we were going to have show and tell once per week. I send home a little bag that each child decorated and the item they want to share needs to fit in this bag. Most of them bring the usual, a truck or car. I want to throw in a theme but can't figure out what I can do for 3-5 yr olds. Anyone have any suggestions? I thought about maybe bringing something that starts with the letter we're learning but this week it was letter "T" and I figured they'd all bring a truck. Any ideas would be great. Thanks.
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TGT09 12:42 PM 06-01-2010
I don't have any advice except to say I will be implementing this in the fall. I have had SEVERE issues with toys among other things that is ALREADY in my handbook. Today dcb shows up with a 3 ft. big Tigger stuffed animal and a couch pillow! I almost said nope, can't come in! I have an 8 y.o. dcg that I just recently took an entire garbage bag filled with stuff she had let accumulate at my house. AND yes, I'm aware that it is all my fault for allowing it....they just get so excited to show me stuff so I don't have the heart to tell them no. I need parents help therefore I will send out a newsletter the week before school starts.

I like the thought of using letter related once I start back up with my curriculum this fall also! Great idea!
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Chickenhauler 12:54 PM 06-01-2010
Toys are one thing, but pets are another!

In the last year, we've had people want to bring their new puppy, kitty, etc over to 'show and tell'...one family did this with two dogs, a kitty, then another litter of kitties.

I once made the comment "I'd be careful, Bert might eat them" in reference to kitties and our big outside collie.

Honestly, I don't want someone else's animals tracking their fleas, ticks, mites and diseases into my home, it's bad enough what their kids bring in.

But seriously, I do get concerned when people want to bring their pets to our house, part is IDK what illness their critters may be harboring, and IDK how my dogs are going to react to a strange animal on their turf.

My dogs are great dogs with people, but they tend to ignore Mr Rogers lesson on sharing when it comes to other critters.

I really don't want to have to deal with the aftermath of my dog shredding someone's pet right before them and their child's eyes.
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tenderhearts 04:33 PM 06-01-2010
I never thought that someone would want to bring a pet. Yikes!!! I agree, I'd have to draw the line on that one. I wouldn't want someone elses yuckies in my house either. I don't think any of my parents would ask but then again ya never know.
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nannyde 07:17 PM 06-01-2010
Originally Posted by TGT09:
AND yes, I'm aware that it is all my fault for allowing it....they just get so excited to show me stuff so I don't have the heart to tell them no. I need parents help therefore I will send out a newsletter the week before school starts.

I like the thought of using letter related once I start back up with my curriculum this fall also! Great idea!
You are misreading what the kids are doing. They want to bring stuff from home because they want to "own" something in your house. Owning it means they have that chunk of power. They want to get their parents to allow them to bring stuff so they will go to day care cooperatively. Parents say yes to this because they want a yes from the kid.

Your kids have figured out that if they bring stuff in and act like it is for YOU to see then that's what gets them the YES they want. They really don't care whether or not you see it. If you said to them.. "you can bring whatever you want just don't show it to me" they would scurry their junk into your house without a care. It doesn't have anything to do with showing you the stuff.

You do not need parent cooperation to get them to not do it. You need parents to abide by your rules and not put you into a position where you have to allow or disallow stuff.

The once a week show and tell just opens the door for every day to be the day kids bring stuff. You either need to allow them to bring stuff or not allow them to bring stuff. The parents won't have the ability to say no to themselves when they want peace and quiet with getting the kid out the door and to your house the other four days a week you don't allow toys to come from home. It's not about the parent saying no to the kid, it's about parents saying no to their desire to make the getting the kid to day care easier. Big difference.

Both parents and children need a black and white daily rule for this kind of stuff.

Toys are a stall and control move kids make to keep power with their parents as long as possible in the mornings. It delays or softens the blow of the transition from them being powerful at home to them not being powerful in group day care. If they have to get this or find that the parents allow whatever they want just to get the kid to go to the car without a fight. Once the child seizes control then that's not enough and they want more. That's when giant Tigger AND couch pillows come on the scene.

I don't allow ANYTHING to go back and forth from my house but the kids. I don't even do diaper bags, loveys, sippy cups, blankets.. NOTHING. Every day it is just the kids and the clothing on the kids. This makes it easier on everybody. The negotiations the parents do are for what goes in the car for the ride over NOT what comes into my house.

I own EVERYTHING in the house. I own all the toys. Everything belongs to me so there is no dispute about who gets what or how it is treated. If they are doing something wrong with a toy I say "don't do X with MY toys". If they claim something is "mine" I correct them and say "no the toys are my toys not yours". I dont have any problems with kids being possesive or fixating on anything because nothing is exclusively theirs.

I provide all the blankets for the older kids at nap. I have allowed home blankets as long as they are safe and stay here for the duration the child is here. I don't use loveys or binkys for naps. I have footed pajamas and blanket sleepers for the little ones so they don't need a blanket.

From the second the kid hits my house everything they see and touch belongs to me. It eliminates all issues with toys and "ownership".

Send a notice and tell parents that you are no longer allowing children to bring any items from home. This includes: ***xx listing everything they could possibly bring in effective immediately. Let them know that you pride yourself on providing everything the children could possibly need/

You will have parents who believe that this rule is just for the other kids not theirs so they will bring stuff in "for the group". It will most likely be books or DVD's. I have had that happen now and then. I just hand it back to the parent or sit it on my big TV and hand it back at departure. I will not use anything they bring from home.

Everybody gets used to it and it works out perfectly. Whatever battle they have at home for the car ride toys is between them and Jesus. I don't see it or have it carried into my house.

You might hear providers say that they do allow certain days and do activities around it but I think most by FAR who are experienced and run a good tight ship will tell you that they don't allow anything to go back and forth daily and don't allow kids to have their "own" toys in their home.

Nan
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kitkat 08:15 PM 06-01-2010
I think you'd be surprised at the different items the kids would bring in for a letter show and tell. Since the kids are 3-5 years old, I'm going to assume, the parents will give them at least a little assistance, which would shake up everyone bringing the same item. It actually could work to your advantage if they all brought in a similar item; you could work on comparisons and similarities, arranging them in order, etc. I would suggest having clear instructions and expectations on show and tell. It has to fit in the bag, stay in the bag til set time, etc. If they can follow the rules, then I would let them have some play time (10 minutes) with their show and tell and then it's back in the bag and put up in a safe place.

Personally, I think kids bring stuff from home for different reasons. Yes, some do it as a control tactic. However, some do it because they really are excited about something and want to show it. For others, they might want/need that reminder of home. The kids I have cared for have done it for all of the above reasons. When something is brought from home, it immediately goes in their locker on the shelf. We don't play with it during the day at all. If it's a stuffed animal for nap, they can have it at nap, but if they are screwing around with it, it gets taken away. It works for me because the kids know the expectations/rules.

But getting back to the original question for suggestions...I'm not sure how you do your themes. Mine are usually centered around a book for the week. You could have the kids bring something that goes along with the book. You could also do letters (as you had mentioned), numbers/counting (ex: 4 of something), colors, texture, favorite book and then do a book picnic, seasons, maybe a free choice every now and then, something you can wear, something you where on your head, foot, etc. Like I said above, you'll be surprised at what they'll bring in. Have fun
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QualiTcare 10:36 AM 06-02-2010
how about letting them bring their own stuffed animal or doll to sleep with? my kids used to take stuff with them to daycare as long as they put it in their cubby and left it there it wasn't a problem. there was never an issue with it.

they did get to have their own pillow, blanket, and "sleeping buddy" if they wanted. i used to let mine carry their sleeping buddy back and forth each day so they felt like they were taking something (and they were) but they could've just left it there.
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Chickenhauler 09:02 PM 06-03-2010
Originally Posted by tenderhearts:
I never thought that someone would want to bring a pet. Yikes!!! I agree, I'd have to draw the line on that one. I wouldn't want someone elses yuckies in my house either. I don't think any of my parents would ask but then again ya never know.
ASK? I wish they'd ask.....they just show up with the critters without asking!



About blankies or dolls, if only used at naptime and then stowed away, I wouldn't see any harm in it.
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Tags:pets, policy, toys from home
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