Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Baby Doesn't Take Naps, Possible ADHD
permanentvacation 11:46 AM 10-01-2015
OMG!!! This child drives me insane! He's 1 year old. I've had him since he was 9 months old. He does NOT take a nap. But he also WON'T stay put ANYWHERE! He climbs out of the playpen (and has broken both of my playpens within 3 months!), gets out of the high chair straps and stands up in the high chair, won't let you hold him, and won't stay on/in a sleeping bag. Since he gets out of everything and takes a chance of killing himself or becoming paraplegic or whatever other damage he might cause himself by climbing out of the play pen or falling from standing in the high chair, my only option is to have him nap on the floor in a sleeping bag like the older children. But I have to sit there for over 1/2 hour trying to get him to sleep. Then I'm lucky if he sleeps for a whole 20 minutes! As soon as he's awake, he's climbing on/over the other kids, making noises, and pulling toys out. I can't get ANYTHING done with him here! He woke up while I was in the bathroom just a few minutes ago and started making noises and pulling out toys! I CAN'T EVEN go to the BATHROOM!

I've told his mother every day how horrible nap time was and everything he has done at nap time. She says she can get him to sleep for 2 hours every Saturday and Sunday at home. But I just found out that she puts him in his crib in his room with the door closed! First, he's in his OWN BED, in a QUIET ROOM, ALONE! Second, she doesn't know if he's asleep the entire time; the DOOR'S CLOSED!

Any suggestions? I am pretty sure that I am going to tell in 2 hours when she picks him up that tomorrow will be his last day here unless you guys can suggest some miracle on how to get him to stay still.

Oh, he is also really hard to feed; acts like he's starving and then shakes his head when you try to spoon feed him. If you let him feed himself, he throws most of it on the floor or feeds it to the dog. Basically, it's like, he's saying, "I want food, no I don't, yeah, I do... nah, I don't" He can't decide whether he wants to eat or not.

Also, he won't let you hold him. He is very squirmy, pushes away, even with his mother, he tries to climb up over her chest and head, pushes away from her, digs his feet and hands in her trying to get away from her.

And some other behaviors that I noticed which made me start saying that it is as if he has ADHD. So I researched ADHD in babies. He has almost EVERY characteristic of an ADHD baby!

So, if my research is correct and he does have ADHD, I will ALWAYS be fighting to get him to do things I need him to do. And I just don't think I can do this much more with him.
Reply
permanentvacation 12:06 PM 10-01-2015
12 people have read this and no one has given me any suggestions. Doesn't look promising!
Reply
permanentvacation 12:54 PM 10-01-2015
Okay, 33 have seen this and no responses. Is this your way of saying that you have no suggestions for me and that you wouldn't keep him either?
Reply
daycare 01:00 PM 10-01-2015
a cage...lol

OMG wow i wish I had some realistic answer to give you, but I don't. That just sounds horrible.

I don't know much about ADHD either, but I do know that most doctors won't even look at a child for it until they are about 4-7 years old. Only reason I know is because I had a child that was 3.5 that sounds a little like your, they were quite the danger to themselves and everyone else here, so I had asked mom to take him to the doc and get test for ADHD, but the doc refused to look at him for it and said give him more time, it's a phase. OMG!!!

anyways, sorry I don't have any answers for you. I honestly do see that terming may be your only cure for this.
Reply
Thriftylady 01:01 PM 10-01-2015
I wouldn't jump right to ADHD, but he may need evaluated. I would sit down with mom and have a talk. If she is still unwilling to work with your and maybe get an evaluation I would let him go. If he is breaking things, he is costing you money you are not making any.
Reply
permanentvacation 01:11 PM 10-01-2015
But even with an evaluation, it would just give or not give his behavior a title and truly explain his actions. It wouldn't stop his behavior. I can't come up with any other ideas on how to get him to relax and take a nap or just stay relatively still for a while so I can eat my lunch, go to the bathroom, and preferably get some office work done during my work hours.

I have tried soothing music, loud music, patting his back, turning the lights off, running a fan for white noise, everything I can think of. I am out of ideas on how to get him to relax and rest so I can get something else done other than focus on him.
Reply
Thriftylady 01:14 PM 10-01-2015
Well if you can't handle it and can't work through it, you have your answer.
Reply
littletots 01:15 PM 10-01-2015
Hey, you said you need to start an exercise program. He's your exerise program. Seriously, sounds like he has tons of energy. Some dck are built that way. Saw childcare develpment dvd. Said children/ people are pattern seeking or controlled chaos.
Reply
permanentvacation 01:16 PM 10-01-2015
And yes, I hate to say it, but it is horrible. He has affected the other kids' behavior in the afternoon here and in the evening at home. My other parents have started asking me if their child is or isn't taking their nap because they are so tired and hateful most evenings now. This one baby is really negatively affecting everyone in the daycare; the other daycare kids, me, and my daughter (who has about had it with listening to him cry and me fussing with him trying to get him to hush and lay down).

Obviously I really need to terminate him. But I am SOOO broke that I really don't want to have to do so. However, he is really taking a toll on everyone here. Emotionally, for everyone's benefit, he needs to go. But financially, I need to be able to figure out something that would make his being here work out. But I am truly out of ideas!
Reply
permanentvacation 01:17 PM 10-01-2015
Yeah, he's exercise for me alright! I can't even sit down to eat lunch! I get up and down, in and out of my chair 10 times before I've taken 3 bites of a sandwich!
Reply
permanentvacation 01:20 PM 10-01-2015
Yeah, you are right, I need to terminate him. But I just hate to lose that money. His mother is really nice and has been trying to work with me by getting him to take a nap at home on the weekends. But that still isn't helping here. I hate to give up on him, but after 3 months of working my butt off but still having every idea I come up with getting nowhere, I guess it's time that I throw in the towel.
Reply
daycare 01:21 PM 10-01-2015
all jokes aside, have you talked to the dcm about this in full detail? letting her know how he truly is and that it is REALLY affecting the other kids behavior both at home and school. I would be VERY clear and up front with him about it.


email nannyde, this sounds like something she would have a remedy for.
Reply
Baby Beluga 01:37 PM 10-01-2015
Originally Posted by permanentvacation:
OMG!!! This child drives me insane! He's 1 year old. I've had him since he was 9 months old. He does NOT take a nap. But he also WON'T stay put ANYWHERE! He climbs out of the playpen (and has broken both of my playpens within 3 months!), gets out of the high chair straps and stands up in the high chair, won't let you hold him, and won't stay on/in a sleeping bag. Since he gets out of everything and takes a chance of killing himself or becoming paraplegic or whatever other damage he might cause himself by climbing out of the play pen or falling from standing in the high chair, my only option is to have him nap on the floor in a sleeping bag like the older children. But I have to sit there for over 1/2 hour trying to get him to sleep. Then I'm lucky if he sleeps for a whole 20 minutes! As soon as he's awake, he's climbing on/over the other kids, making noises, and pulling toys out. I can't get ANYTHING done with him here! He woke up while I was in the bathroom just a few minutes ago and started making noises and pulling out toys! I CAN'T EVEN go to the BATHROOM!

I've told his mother every day how horrible nap time was and everything he has done at nap time. She says she can get him to sleep for 2 hours every Saturday and Sunday at home. But I just found out that she puts him in his crib in his room with the door closed! First, he's in his OWN BED, in a QUIET ROOM, ALONE! Second, she doesn't know if he's asleep the entire time; the DOOR'S CLOSED!

Any suggestions? I am pretty sure that I am going to tell in 2 hours when she picks him up that tomorrow will be his last day here unless you guys can suggest some miracle on how to get him to stay still.

Oh, he is also really hard to feed; acts like he's starving and then shakes his head when you try to spoon feed him. If you let him feed himself, he throws most of it on the floor or feeds it to the dog. Basically, it's like, he's saying, "I want food, no I don't, yeah, I do... nah, I don't" He can't decide whether he wants to eat or not.

Also, he won't let you hold him. He is very squirmy, pushes away, even with his mother, he tries to climb up over her chest and head, pushes away from her, digs his feet and hands in her trying to get away from her.

And some other behaviors that I noticed which made me start saying that it is as if he has ADHD. So I researched ADHD in babies. He has almost EVERY characteristic of an ADHD baby!

So, if my research is correct and he does have ADHD, I will ALWAYS be fighting to get him to do things I need him to do. And I just don't think I can do this much more with him.
If I may ask, why is he being spoon fed at 1 year old? At 1 year I wold have him feed himself.

For the highchair - is he in a five point harness chair? If not, that might be a little more difficult for him to climb out of. If he is in a 5 point harness highchair, what if you put a button up shirt over the harness? In the car seat world, that is recommended for children who undo their car seat harness. I am not sure if this is against regulations or not, but if he is a harm to himself because he is climbing/falling out a chair (and it is not against regulations) I would run it past mom and give it a try.




For nap time, what about wearing a sleep sack in a PNP? That would make it hard for him to climb out. My personal opinion is if a child is not developmentally ready to sleep on a cot, they are not developmentally ready for a loose blanket. Any child who sleeps in a PNP is in a sleep sack. You can buy them in sizes for larger children. Some even have holes for feet, I believe they are called sleep sack walkers.
Reply
permanentvacation 01:39 PM 10-01-2015
Yes. I give a FULLY DETAILED run down of the day EVERY day to his mother including when the other parents make comments about their children's behavior in the evening. I haven't held anything back other than my thoughts on him possibly having ADHD. If I do decide to terminate him, I don't want her to say it's because of him having a special needs therefor I was being illegally discriminatory against him. I'm not a doctor. I can't diagnose him and my theory from researching online might be incorrect. He is only 1 year old, and like someone said here, doctors usually don't test for ADHD until a child is in grade school.

But, yes, the mother is fully aware of every day's situations for the past 3 months. I actually started giving more detail and actually suggesting that he might do better in a center where he would be in a room where the teachers have nothing to do all day long other than tend to the children and that one of the teachers would either hold him (well at least try to) and rock him, pat his back, carry him around, or put him in a stroller and walk around the center all nap time long, but that I can't do that here. I need to use nap time to get office work and other jobs done and eat my lunch.

I've highly suggested to her many times to take him to a center! But I think she's staying here and would continue staying here no matter what simply because my rates are so affordable. Of course my rates are much lower than a center. That's just normal.

I think when she gets here, I will tell her to look for other daycare and I will watch him on a day to day basis while giving her time to find other care.
Reply
Thriftylady 01:39 PM 10-01-2015
Originally Posted by permanentvacation:
And yes, I hate to say it, but it is horrible. He has affected the other kids' behavior in the afternoon here and in the evening at home. My other parents have started asking me if their child is or isn't taking their nap because they are so tired and hateful most evenings now. This one baby is really negatively affecting everyone in the daycare; the other daycare kids, me, and my daughter (who has about had it with listening to him cry and me fussing with him trying to get him to hush and lay down).

Obviously I really need to terminate him. But I am SOOO broke that I really don't want to have to do so. However, he is really taking a toll on everyone here. Emotionally, for everyone's benefit, he needs to go. But financially, I need to be able to figure out something that would make his being here work out. But I am truly out of ideas!
How broke are you going to be if other parents pull from care due to their children having the side effects?
Reply
daycare 01:43 PM 10-01-2015
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
How broke are you going to be if other parents pull from care due to their children having the side effects?
you beat me to the punch.

how much money will you be out if you lose other clients over this child?
Reply
Blackcat31 01:49 PM 10-01-2015
Outdoor time and a sleep sack.

Sounds like a normally precocious toddler in my opinion.

He needs a set, firm and consistent bed time routine with regular nap times on weekends and week days. Sleep begats sleep.

He needs a ton of outdoor time to wear him out and for the fresh air

Good filling foods for meals and snacks. No sugar or processed foods before nap or bed time.

He needs clear consistent boundaries and consequences for both nap and bed time (routine, routine, routine, routine, routine, routine)

If he is a climber then he needs a sleep sack that makes standing in the crib or PNP impossible.... for his safety.

My state would NOT allow a child under 12 months to sleep anywhere but a crib or PNP. Regardless of the situation.


DCM needs to have the same routine at home so that your nap time is consistent with her routine so that DCB knows what to expect and what is expected of him. Kids don't come knowing how and when to nap...we (mom, dad and caregiver have to teach him what it is you want him to do and how.
Reply
permanentvacation 01:57 PM 10-01-2015
I have tried a sleeper on backwards and in the playpen and then on the sleeping bag in the backwards sleeper. He inchwormed all over the place. He even tried to climb out of the playpen with it on. He just used his hands that were inside the sleeper and tried to inchworm up the side of the playpen. Since he didn't have his hands out to catch himself, I was even more afraid that he'd break his neck falling out of the playpen!

On the floor in the sleeper backwards, he inchworms all over the place and squirms so much trying to get his hands and arms out of the sleeper that I'm afraid he's going to dislocate his shoulders!

I spoon feed him BECAUSE he often refuses to feed himself and instead feeds the dog or throws the food on the floor. Then I try to spoon feed him so that I can get the food into his mouth since he won't put it in his mouth. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But pretty much every day, he acts like he simply can't decide if he wants to eat or not.

My high chair is not a 5 point harness. But I also don't have the money or desire to spend the money on buying a special high chair for him. He's already broken 2 playpens that I have to replace in the 3 months that he's been here. I certainly can't see buying even more new daycare furniture specifically because of this one child! I can't afford to do that.

I have never thought of a button up shirt over the car seat or high chair seat belt! That's a neat idea!

We can't have a child sleep in a high chair here. He has to either sleep in a playpen or on the floor in a sleeping bag or cot. So, even if I tried the shirt over the high chair belt, it wouldn't help for nap time.
Reply
permanentvacation 02:00 PM 10-01-2015
Well, I feel absolutely horrible now. His mother just came to pick him up and I told her that she needs to look for other daycare. I told her about today's situation at nap time, which is pretty much a broken record; I say about the same thing every day. But today I told her that it's just getting to be too much and I will watch him for another week or so while she looks for other daycare.
Reply
permanentvacation 02:01 PM 10-01-2015
That's true. I hadn't thought of the other parents leaving over this one child. I definitely can't afford to lose multiple kids!
Reply
Baby Beluga 02:04 PM 10-01-2015
Originally Posted by permanentvacation:
I have tried a sleeper on backwards and in the playpen and then on the sleeping bag in the backwards sleeper. He inchwormed all over the place. He even tried to climb out of the playpen with it on. He just used his hands that were inside the sleeper and tried to inchworm up the side of the playpen. Since he didn't have his hands out to catch himself, I was even more afraid that he'd break his neck falling out of the playpen!

On the floor in the sleeper backwards, he inchworms all over the place and squirms so much trying to get his hands and arms out of the sleeper that I'm afraid he's going to dislocate his shoulders!

I spoon feed him BECAUSE he often refuses to feed himself and instead feeds the dog or throws the food on the floor. Then I try to spoon feed him so that I can get the food into his mouth since he won't put it in his mouth. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But pretty much every day, he acts like he simply can't decide if he wants to eat or not.

My high chair is not a 5 point harness. But I also don't have the money or desire to spend the money on buying a special high chair for him. He's already broken 2 playpens that I have to replace in the 3 months that he's been here. I certainly can't see buying even more new daycare furniture specifically because of this one child! I can't afford to do that.

I have never thought of a button up shirt over the car seat or high chair seat belt! That's a neat idea!

We can't have a child sleep in a high chair here. He has to either sleep in a playpen or on the floor in a sleeping bag or cot. So, even if I tried the shirt over the high chair belt, it wouldn't help for nap time.
I didn't mean for nap time! Just for meal times. No way would I suggest a child sleeping in a high chair. I thought he was climbing/falling out of his chair during meal times. If I read that incorrectly, my apologies

The sleep sack he is in - are his arms swaddled in the sleep sack? The sleep sacks I have used have arm holes where the child's arms are free.
Reply
daycare 02:04 PM 10-01-2015
I think this kid is going to be the next american ninja warrior by the sounds of it...lol

wow
Reply
permanentvacation 02:13 PM 10-01-2015
This mother says she does have a schedule at home. She has an elementary school aged child as well. She has said many times that they have a specific bed time and evening routine. For the first time in a long time, she is a parent that, at least says, that she is doing everything that I agree that she should be doing at home at night. And, after the first few days of being here and me telling her that he wouldn't take a nap, she asked what time my nap is and what I do just before nap. She then started copying my schedule for lunch and nap time at home on the weekends! But, like I said earlier, she puts him in his crib in his room with the door shut. So that is different than being in a playpen or sleeping bag in the living room with other children. When I pointed that out to her, she started putting him in the living room to nap and had her older child in the room with him. She says he sleeps just fine there at home. So, the mom is doing everything that she should be doing, and then some!

We have the option of using a playpen or sleeping bag/cot as of age 1. I don't really know the reason, but I assume that since many children do try to climb out of playpens around age 1, certain 1 year olds would be safer on the floor.

I also have a routine that includes outside time. We have lunch, then diapers/potty and then nap. So they have full bellies for nap time. All of the other children are tired and fall asleep quickly after being laid down and sleep very well for nap time. It's just this particular baby that doesn't take a nap.

I tried a rigged version of a sleep sack. But he inchwormed everywhere and still tried to climb out of the playpen!

I have done daycare for many years. This baby is definitely much more active than a typical baby. I really do think he might have ADHD.
Reply
daycarediva 02:35 PM 10-01-2015
CRIB TENT! Seriously, get a tent. My son at that age would climb out of his crib and over TWO stacked gates. I was petrified about him hurting himself. Crib tent!
Reply
Thriftylady 02:40 PM 10-01-2015
Well it is just my personal opinion that many children who are taken for ADHD testing are just the harder children. It doesn't mean there is something wrong with them. Often, it is parenting, sometimes the child is just a more active or more head strong child. I had one of these children and went through some of the things you are talking about with her. Now, she is a junior in HS taking all college classes and still making all A's with a couple of B's. We figured out what her issue was when she was young, she was smart! She used it at the time for evil instead of good we said lol. I think she just didn't know how to express herself. If it is really that hard on you, you have to let this one go.
Reply
daycare 02:41 PM 10-01-2015
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
CRIB TENT! Seriously, get a tent. My son at that age would climb out of his crib and over TWO stacked gates. I was petrified about him hurting himself. Crib tent!
wow...thats crazy. I have to google what a crib tent is. I don't have infants in my care and my kids didn't sleep in cribs.

sounds pretty cool
Reply
NillaWafers 03:05 PM 10-01-2015
1 is way too young to say someone has ADHD. Even if he did, there would be nothing you can do besides behavior modification. My own 5 year is diagnosed and was definitely an active crazy toddler (walked at 9 months, out of his crib at 18). I would strongly caution you against saying someone has ADHD unless you're a professional, it's a really over diagnosed condition - it gets scapegoated for everything.

It sounds like you've done a ton for this kid and it's still not working. Terming is definitely the way to go. I wouldn't feel bad, some kids just need a different environment or more one on one time. Good luck!
Reply
Unregistered 04:29 PM 10-01-2015
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
CRIB TENT! Seriously, get a tent. My son at that age would climb out of his crib and over TWO stacked gates. I was petrified about him hurting himself. Crib tent!
Wasn't there a big stink made about those in the news? I used one before. They are great.
Reply
Unregistered 04:31 PM 10-01-2015
Originally Posted by permanentvacation:
Well, I feel absolutely horrible now. His mother just came to pick him up and I told her that she needs to look for other daycare. I told her about today's situation at nap time, which is pretty much a broken record; I say about the same thing every day. But today I told her that it's just getting to be too much and I will watch him for another week or so while she looks for other daycare.
It's not worth it to watch him. Too much.
Reply
Unregistered 05:47 PM 10-01-2015
Keep for short time and replace quickly or be super strict I had one who would climb out crib and over two stacked baby gates I had to be firm really strict.
Reply
Unregistered 05:50 PM 10-01-2015
Can mom provide u a crib tent she might since she dosent wanna leave u
Reply
permanentvacation 06:02 PM 10-01-2015
I think I'm just done with him. I told his mother tonight to look for other daycare. I'm just going to leave it at that.
Reply
daycare 06:31 PM 10-01-2015
Originally Posted by permanentvacation:
I think I'm just done with him. I told his mother tonight to look for other daycare. I'm just going to leave it at that.
hugs to you......
Reply
permanentvacation 06:46 PM 10-01-2015
Daycare,

Thank you!
Reply
daycare 06:48 PM 10-01-2015
you're welcome. I know how hard that must have been. especially after you tried so hard.

Chin up. good things are coming your way. You are going to find a perfect fit for that spot, I know it because you deserve it.
Reply
permanentvacation 07:37 PM 10-01-2015
Thank you! I just really hope I get more kids soon! Financially, I just really hurt myself by terminating the baby. But I know that overall for the health and sanity of everyone in my daycare and my household, it was the right decision. But, financially, I just shot myself in my foot! I just really hope I get more kids!
Reply
Josiegirl 03:15 AM 10-02-2015
Originally Posted by permanentvacation:
Thank you! I just really hope I get more kids soon! Financially, I just really hurt myself by terminating the baby. But I know that overall for the health and sanity of everyone in my daycare and my household, it was the right decision. But, financially, I just shot myself in my foot! I just really hope I get more kids!
Maybe temporarily you did but I feel in the long run you did yourself, the other kids and families a huge favor! You admitted the chaos in your dc may have made your potential assistant take off for the hills, so maybe this is the step you needed to take to turn that all around? Find some different and unique ways to advertise and get the word out!!! Can your current dcfs help with spreading the word? You lasted way longer than I could have. In fact, I took a 12 month old awhile back and never lasted the trial period with her. She'd wrap her arms around my legs all day, begging, screaming to be picked up. She slept 45 minutes the first day and that was it. No naps again the whole time. She was just miserable here. I had her sibling and was so afraid I would lose her too. As it turned out, they put the youngest into a center and a few months later they asked me if I'd be willing to give it another try. I did and it's worked out unbelievably well.
Anyways, stay hopeful!! The amount of stress this one child was causing you may be a huge turning point so think positive! Good things will come!!
Reply
permanentvacation 05:41 AM 10-02-2015
Josiegirl,

I don't like having to have children flip-flop through daycares. It's not good for them. So I do my best to work with the child and families to make it work. Therefore, I hold out for as long as I can before I terminate someone. But after 3 months with this baby, I still have not made any progress! When my other parents started inquiring about their children taking nap because they were basically a holy terror at home from being so tired, I realized that the baby would have to either take nap or stop coming very soon. Then other people on the forum made comments about how broke would I be if I lost all of the other kids because of this one kid and wound up with only this one kid I decided that he simply has to stop coming here. I talked with my nephew about it (he's only 4 years younger than I am) and he agreed that sometimes you have to sacrifice one and lose the income from one for the benefit of the whole group.

I spoke with someone this morning about child care. She said she will call me after she gets off work today. Hopefully she'll call and hire me!

I'm just really nervous because I'm on a time limit to increase my income and get something permanently working! Technically, January might be the last month's rent that my ex pays for me! That's only 3 more months now! And here I went and kicked a kid out! I just REALLY hope I get more kids very soon!
Reply
Melissa67 05:23 PM 02-02-2017
I'll try to make this short,have child 3ys old,started in nov,I always thought he was just bad,then I thought something is not right with him,my daughter said adhd (teacher),I brought it up to the dad today,he said he was diagnose,but was too young for med. WHY IN HELL YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THAT WHEN HE STARTED, think he was ashamed, idk

to think of how many times I punished him,yelled at him,ect
back to my question how young can a child get med, do they have to wait till they get to school. thanks for the responses
Reply
Ariana 05:41 PM 02-02-2017
Originally Posted by Melissa67:
I'll try to make this short,have child 3ys old,started in nov,I always thought he was just bad,then I thought something is not right with him,my daughter said adhd (teacher),I brought it up to the dad today,he said he was diagnose,but was too young for med. WHY IN HELL YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THAT WHEN HE STARTED, think he was ashamed, idk

to think of how many times I punished him,yelled at him,ect
back to my question how young can a child get med, do they have to wait till they get to school. thanks for the responses
I don't know but I recently read an article that the majority of kids being diagnosed as ADHD are actually chronically sleep deprived. I have seen it in my own daycare the actions of chronically sleep deprived kids and how much their behavior changes once they get the sleep they need.
Reply
Reply Up