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lovemykidstoo 07:03 PM 11-07-2016
I have a family with a 2 1/2 yr old boy . He comes 5 days 7:30 to 5:30 . Mom comes today and said dad is stroking out because he is off work between Christmas and new years and doesn't want to pay because he won't be coming . I told her I cannot afford to eat almost 2 weeks free. I took the 2 Mondays off and they don't pay if I'm off . Please I need advice other than term because I need every penny. I can look for replacement and then term but can't term now. Dad has been talking at work to people that I think pay less. I can't lose them . What do I do? Before they came I used to give 10 days free, then I changed to 5 free days a yr. Now I don't give any. Should I give them 5 days to keep them? Help!
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midaycare 07:13 PM 11-07-2016
You have to do what you have to do in order to keep food on your table.

My answer would depend on your area and how quickly you can get replacements.

If you can get replacements relatively quickly, I would tell them no problem, them aim to have someone take their place by Thanksgiving.

If not, you could still let them have the 2 weeks and do drop in care during that time for people whose daycares are closed. Maybe do a black Friday special where you watch kids while parents shop? You could do 2 or 3 shifts to make up some of that income.

Or simply tell them no.
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lovemykidstoo 07:18 PM 11-07-2016
It's not the easiest to get new families . I do have someone interested but it's for a baby and I already have 2 . I was thinking of giving them 5 free days a yr . Then hopefully get new people
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daycare 08:33 PM 11-07-2016
If this were me I would say sorry our policy is ------- and tell them no. I had a family do this to me over summer. Thy got it off to vacation. I get it sounded like fun, but I'm not in this business to loose money. I told them you can pay for your spot if you want it when you return or you can terminate our contract and hope you get one at the end of summer.

It didn't work out for them. They left I immediately filled the spot. It's business.
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Unregistered 11:14 PM 11-07-2016
My policy is they pay the entire tuition regardless if I am closed or if they do not come. This is in my contract and in my parent handbook which I go over with them at the interview prior to signing up. That way they can decide if they want to enroll in my program and must agree to all my policies with no questions.
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childcaremom 03:44 AM 11-08-2016
Originally Posted by daycare:
If this were me I would say sorry our policy is ------- and tell them no. I had a family do this to me over summer. Thy got it off to vacation. I get it sounded like fun, but I'm not in this business to loose money. I told them you can pay for your spot if you want it when you return or you can terminate our contract and hope you get one at the end of summer.

It didn't work out for them. They left I immediately filled the spot. It's business.


I would stick to your policy. I would also start advertising for a replacement.

It has been my experience that if you bend now, they'll expect it in the future.
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MissAnn 05:29 AM 11-08-2016
It baffles me why parents think this is OK. I hope you have it covered in your policies although you may lose them anyway.
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Blackcat31 05:45 AM 11-08-2016
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
I have a family with a 2 1/2 yr old boy . He comes 5 days 7:30 to 5:30 . Mom comes today and said dad is stroking out because he is off work between Christmas and new years and doesn't want to pay because he won't be coming . I told her I cannot afford to eat almost 2 weeks free. I took the 2 Mondays off and they don't pay if I'm off . Please I need advice other than term because I need every penny. I can look for replacement and then term but can't term now. Dad has been talking at work to people that I think pay less. I can't lose them . What do I do? Before they came I used to give 10 days free, then I changed to 5 free days a yr. Now I don't give any. Should I give them 5 days to keep them? Help!
What I would do is irrelevant if you are limited in your options. Is this a family that has been with you for a while or a newer family?

If it's a family that has been with you for a while, I would suggest taking the honest, human approach and just explain that you are already living on a tight budget and have policies that are in place so that you can financially survive. Policies THEY agreed to when they signed your contract. Let them know that you can't afford to be out the fees. If necessary and you feel you have no option, offer a compromise. They pay a part of the fees and keep child home the whole time. Or bring child and pay.

Personally I have a real issue with both parents that agree to policies (and then ask for special) and providers that set up policies to protect themselves both personally and financially but then don't enforce them.

I understand that you can't afford for them to leave but when policies are written and agreed to you have just as much of an obligation to uphold them as a parent does to adhere to them.

In other words, if your financial situation warrants that you can't enforce your payment policies, its probably time to revamp your policies so that you don't find yourself in this same situation again. I apologize if that comes across as harsh but I am just trying to be honest.

I do hope the family comes around and understands that they already agreed to this policy and that you are only trying to make a living.
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JackandJill 06:35 AM 11-08-2016
I would stick with your policy - you may be surprised to find that the parents will adhere. I feel like sometimes parents are just pushing limits, but when you reinforce your policies they end up following them.

I have found that there is no sense in writing a handbook if you don't plan to enforce it. Once you let one thing slide, then everything else if up for discussion, too.

If you really need to negotiate something with them (and only you know what works best for you and your business), then I would suggest you remind them that this is a one time thing, you will not be able to accommodate anything else in the future. And I agree with what someone else said, if they don't pay the full rate, they CAN NOT being dcg at all. They can't take advantage of you and get a day to themselves!!

I would also be looking to replace them ASAP, because it won't be long before they start looking to bend the rules again. I can't stand parents who agree to one thing and they try to get out of it later on. I know how you feel, there have been times when I have to give a little because you can't afford the lose them so quickly if they threaten to leave. But they are always shocked when they get their notice because I have found someone who has no problem following the rules! I will not work with parents who think they can mess around with my income!
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Gemma 06:45 AM 11-08-2016
Originally Posted by childcaremom:


I would stick to your policy. I would also start advertising for a replacement.

It has been my experience that if you bend now, they'll expect it in the future.


As long as they think you can't afford to lose them, they will always test how far they can have you bend the rules
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284878 07:18 AM 11-08-2016
Look for a replacement but also advertise for a short term or drop in family during "winter break", with payment up front, no refunds. If you get drop in or short term, you could then let the family pay a holding fee for their spot at no less than 50℅ their regular rate.
This way not only would you keep the family but you would make bonus money.
Personally, I would look to permanently replace, I had a family that did not want to pay when dcb was not here and it was stressful on dcb to know he was in DC while his family was at home. DCF left for a DC that promise not to charge them.
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Crazy8 08:05 AM 11-08-2016
Originally Posted by JackandJill:
I would stick with your policy - you may be surprised to find that the parents will adhere. I feel like sometimes parents are just pushing limits, but when you reinforce your policies they end up following them.

I have found that there is no sense in writing a handbook if you don't plan to enforce it. Once you let one thing slide, then everything else if up for discussion, too.
Totally agree with the above! I get how hard it can be to get replacements, same boat here. BUT you made your policies for a reason, they agreed to it when they signed on. I would simply remind them that they knew your policies, they can choose to bring their child or not but the policy remains the same.

You say you used to give free days, why did you change that? Is that something competitors offer? If you were considering giving 5 free days again I would do it across the board for all families and I would state it as a policy change for 2017 but as a courtesy you will let them use it the week between xmas and new years if they'd like but then they do not have them the rest of 2017 (depending on how many they use they may have a few to use later in the year).
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daycare 09:50 AM 11-08-2016
I have a policy that all full time families can use one week at half price once a year, but they have to take 5 consecutive days off and they must notify me 30 days in advance.

I automatically apply it to their invoice after I am notified for the following month.

I do not offer this to part time families.
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Mom2Two 12:38 PM 11-08-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
What I would do is irrelevant if you are limited in your options.

If it's a family that has been with you for a while, I would suggest taking the honest, human approach and just explain that you are already living on a tight budget and have policies that are in place so that you can financially survive. Policies THEY agreed to when they signed your contract. Let them know that you can't afford to be out the fees. If necessary and you feel you have no option, offer a compromise. They pay a part of the fees and keep child home the whole time. Or bring child and pay.

Personally I have a real issue with both parents that agree to policies (and then ask for special) and providers that set up policies to protect themselves both personally and financially but then don't enforce them.

I understand that you can't afford for them to leave but when policies are written and agreed to you have just as much of an obligation to uphold them as a parent does to adhere to them.

In other words, if your financial situation warrants that you can't enforce your payment policies, its probably time to revamp your policies so that you don't find yourself in this same situation again. I apologize if that comes across as harsh but I am just trying to be honest.

I do hope the family comes around and understands that they already agreed to this policy and that you are only trying to make a living.

ITA to all.

If you mean your policies stick to them, or change your policies. Sometimes the market drives our business, and you do what you have to/are willing to do to stay in business. I rarely charge for when a client isn't here, but most of my clients are hourly. I save for times like Christmas. To me although I have less income, I have more free time.

If you decide to change your policies, maybe in the future save for those free vacation times.

If you need to eat on a budget, potatoes, dry beans, eggs, and homemade breads (tortillas, pancakes etc) are my go-to foods.
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lovemykidstoo 05:00 PM 11-08-2016
So what I ended up doing is compromised and gave them 5 days to use a year free. The problem occurred when he got his 4th job in the past year and now he's teaching. He does not have summers off, but has the Christmas between New Years off and also spring break. I know not my problem, but he has griped about paying when his son isn't here before and now he's talking to other people at work that get free days and I believe he would pull him. Although the mother is the one that would give him a fight on that. He's a complainer (hence the 4th job in a little over a year). I know that I shouldn't cave on my policies, but I just cannot afford to let them go. So, I will give them 1/2 of what they want. They really wanted 10 days. I am giving them a paper to sign tomorrow about it and I am flat out telling them that this is it for negotiating. I will not bend on anything else and they need to be clear about it. I also will not be turning away someone that better fits my needs. I have no problem doing that either. I think the position I'm in right now, I need to bend on this and take their money and then when I can, replace them.
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Unregistered 05:32 PM 11-08-2016
Make sure you make it clear in the paperwork that the child can not attend during any of those 10 days even if its a free day or not.
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lovemykidstoo 06:15 AM 01-06-2017
So remember this family? The one that wanted 10 free days a year and I compromised and gave them 5 because he's a teacher now and gets between Christmas and New Years and also Spring break off? Well, between what I had off for the holidays and what they took off, they should have only paid me for 4 days. She gave me a check for 6 days. Told her she overpaid and she said, oh well, we're going to save those other 2 days to put with the 5 we get next year for spring break. Ummm, nope. It's 5 PER YEAR, no carry overs. lol. I told her it's bad enough that I'm down 5 days pay, I won't be down 7 days pay all at one time lol. Nice try though.

Then she brings darling this morning and says he's tired because he coughed quite a bit last night. I said, don't you get days to stay home if your child is not feeling good? She said, yea I do, but I'm saving them because we're going on a cruise next month. I about spit my coffee across the room. The one that cries poor mouth can't pay me when he doesn't come is going on a fricken cruise. lmao
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Heart12 06:42 AM 01-06-2017
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
So remember this family? The one that wanted 10 free days a year and I compromised and gave them 5 because he's a teacher now and gets between Christmas and New Years and also Spring break off? Well, between what I had off for the holidays and what they took off, they should have only paid me for 4 days. She gave me a check for 6 days. Told her she overpaid and she said, oh well, we're going to save those other 2 days to put with the 5 we get next year for spring break. Ummm, nope. It's 5 PER YEAR, no carry overs. lol. I told her it's bad enough that I'm down 5 days pay, I won't be down 7 days pay all at one time lol. Nice try though.

Then she brings darling this morning and says he's tired because he coughed quite a bit last night. I said, don't you get days to stay home if your child is not feeling good? She said, yea I do, but I'm saving them because we're going on a cruise next month. I about spit my coffee across the room. The one that cries poor mouth can't pay me when he doesn't come is going on a fricken cruise. lmao
A cruise? I am currently learning the hard way, that if you give an inch they will try to take a mile. I have bent over backwards for one of my DCF & now I feel like they are always asking for something. Just this week I realized that they always ask for more than they actually need, just to get me to "compromise" & give them what they actually want. Take it as a learning experience, & stick to your policies!!!
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DaveA 07:35 AM 01-06-2017


I got much more cynical about parent requests after I had a DCM beg me to open early for "emergency surgery" the next day only to find out it was a boob job scheduled for months.
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daycarediva 09:26 AM 01-06-2017
Originally Posted by DaveA:


I got much more cynical about parent requests after I had a DCM beg me to open early for "emergency surgery" the next day only to find out it was a boob job scheduled for months.


OP- Of course they were mad they had to pay you for keeping dcb home, money is more important than the care of their child. I would be interviewing to replace them asap.
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