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Old 06-20-2018, 11:09 AM
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Default How To Politely Decline A Family?

I interviewed a family last Saturday. Very crunchy, not a good match for me and my program. Nothing has been set in stone and I would like to promptly decline just in case they were planning on me. Just looking for kind wording. Thanks ladies
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Old 06-20-2018, 11:12 AM
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Here’s a few more threads on declining clients: https://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.p...lining+clients
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Old 06-20-2018, 11:24 AM
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Message: "I loved meeting your family! I am going to be interviewing with interested families until (insert date). I will then decide which family I will be taking. Thank you!"

Then you send a "Sorry, I wish I could take everybody, but the spot has been filled" message.
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Old 06-20-2018, 01:15 PM
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Update.....so I very politely told family that I was going another route in the fall, would not be able to watch her kids. Wished them all the best.

I then get asked if I found another family. Is this her business? Do I have to tell her that I did go with another family? I just feel like it is not her business to know?
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Old 06-20-2018, 01:50 PM
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Update.....so I very politely told family that I was going another route in the fall, would not be able to watch her kids. Wished them all the best.

I then get asked if I found another family. Is this her business? Do I have to tell her that I did go with another family? I just feel like it is not her business to know?
It's none of her business; you told her you were going a different direction come fall, end of discussion. If she keeps pushing the issue, you know you avoided future trouble.
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Old 06-20-2018, 02:17 PM
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Update.....so I very politely told family that I was going another route in the fall, would not be able to watch her kids. Wished them all the best.

I then get asked if I found another family. Is this her business? Do I have to tell her that I did go with another family? I just feel like it is not her business to know?
I would straight up say "Why do you ask?"

Depending on her reply I might just gloss over the question in general and just say something like "Again, thank you for your interest in my program. Have a great day!" and hang up swiftly.

It's not her business but she wants to know if you really filled the space or if you just didn't pick them.
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Old 06-20-2018, 03:54 PM
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I would straight up say "Why do you ask?"

Depending on her reply I might just gloss over the question in general and just say something like "Again, thank you for your interest in my program. Have a great day!" and hang up swiftly.

It's not her business but she wants to know if you really filled the space or if you just didn't pick them.
Ha! You are correct black cat. She was just seeing if I picked them or filled the space. I feel confident I made the right choice.
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Old 06-20-2018, 06:47 PM
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Update.....so I very politely told family that I was going another route in the fall, would not be able to watch her kids. Wished them all the best.

I then get asked if I found another family. Is this her business? Do I have to tell her that I did go with another family? I just feel like it is not her business to know?
I just thank them for the interview and tell them I'm interviewing a number of families and should have a decision in the next month or so. I will let them know if I will offer them a second interview. If they need an immediate answer it's best to continue looking
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Old 06-27-2018, 03:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Meeko View Post
Message: "I loved meeting your family! I am going to be interviewing with interested families until (insert date). I will then decide which family I will be taking. Thank you!"

Then you send a "Sorry, I wish I could take everybody, but the spot has been filled" message.
I understand why this is a safe way to tell a parent no, but I don't like it. First, you are lying to the parent and this is not professional. Second, the parent could find out later that you are still advertising for an opening and realize that you lied to her. Now she may complaint to licensing or tell her friends that you are unprofessional.
My solution: "I'm sorry but I don't think this is the best place for your child. I'm not the best caregiver for your child." Don't offer any explanation. Tell the parent it's based on a feeling, period.
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Old 06-27-2018, 04:50 PM
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I understand why this is a safe way to tell a parent no, but I don't like it. First, you are lying to the parent and this is not professional. Second, the parent could find out later that you are still advertising for an opening and realize that you lied to her. Now she may complaint to licensing or tell her friends that you are unprofessional.
My solution: "I'm sorry but I don't think this is the best place for your child. I'm ot the best caregiver for your child." Don't offer any explanation. Tell the parent it's based on a feeling, period.
I think theoretically honesty is the best policy but in real life telling the parent your not the best caregiveror or the daycare isn't the best place for the child will get an immediate response of "why?". Not giving an answer or answering why will anger them and the outcome will be the same with bad mouthing and calling licensing.

I think the interviews where you don't want the client are a good opportunity to reinforce that they are being considered for a slot just like one would when being considered for a job or an apartment.

Parents believe that it's their choice if you have a slot not yours.

I do three interviews and explain that at the initial contact. I tell them on the first call that I'm never in a hurry to fill a slot and that I take time to interview multiple families. It may take a few weeks or months.

So if they are a good fit I ask them to continue their search and let me know if they would like a second interview. If it's not a good fit I tell them I'm interviewing multiple families and once I've completed the first round I will let them know and if they are still searching and want a second interview we will set it up. I also let them know I normally advertise for weeks to set up the first round of potential clients.

They have life experience of being considered for jobs or housing or whatever contests they have been in in their childhood. It isn't a foreign concept to be under consideration and to have to wait to hear whether they have made the cut.

I also let them know on the first contact that I'm very selective because I have very few slots come open and I want to make sure I have an excellent fit. If they want to choose the provider based on a slot being open then I wouldn't be a good fit.

The families I choose KNOW what I put the past and current clients through and once in my care they appreciate that I go the extra mile to get stable, calm, cooperative, caring families.
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Old 06-27-2018, 05:14 PM
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Originally Posted by TomCopeland View Post
I understand why this is a safe way to tell a parent no, but I don't like it. First, you are lying to the parent and this is not professional. Second, the parent could find out later that you are still advertising for an opening and realize that you lied to her. Now she may complaint to licensing or tell her friends that you are unprofessional.
My solution: "I'm sorry but I don't think this is the best place for your child. I'm not the best caregiver for your child." Don't offer any explanation. Tell the parent it's based on a feeling, period.
Tom you answered straight to the point and this is excellent business practice.

If a provider doesn't think it is a good fit, no reason to beat around the bush, especially if the family is needing care quickly and will be needing to know if they need to keep looking.

If I was a parent I would want to know sooner than later if I was needing care if my child was able to go into the program or not.

Why lie about having other interviews if you don't have them? Parents need to know and I would rather have a provider be up front to me then keep me waiting. Would make me question other business practices of theirs.
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Old 06-27-2018, 06:14 PM
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Tom you answered straight to the point and this is excellent business practice.

If a provider doesn't think it is a good fit, no reason to beat around the bush, especially if the family is needing care quickly and will be needing to know if they need to keep looking.

If I was a parent I would want to know sooner than later if I was needing care if my child was able to go into the program or not.

Why lie about having other interviews if you don't have them? Parents need to know and I would rather have a provider be up front to me then keep me waiting. Would make me question other business practices of theirs.
2 of my last 3 interviews were automatically declined due to refusing to follow my no fragrance policy (which they knew about BEFORE coming to interview & the reason for it) - not only am I allergic to many chemicals, but I work with babies, some whom have special needs/allergies etc also. Sorry but my (& my daycare children's) health trump your wanting to smell like flowers or cologne
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Old 06-27-2018, 06:45 PM
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Tom you answered straight to the point and this is excellent business practice.

If a provider doesn't think it is a good fit, no reason to beat around the bush, especially if the family is needing care quickly and will be needing to know if they need to keep looking.

If I was a parent I would want to know sooner than later if I was needing care if my child was able to go into the program or not.

Why lie about having other interviews if you don't have them? Parents need to know and I would rather have a provider be up front to me then keep me waiting. Would make me question other business practices of theirs.
What if you do have more interviews or plan to do more? What is unprofessional about telling that truth?

There are so many life experiences where you have to wait to see if you are chosen. The issue with daycare is a fundamental misunderstanding that the parent is the one who is choosing rather than the provider is choosing whether to consider them for a slot.

So many providers do one interview and offer the slot right away. The average parent thinks this is universal. It isn't.

It's okay to not give them an answer and make them wait. They will have a zillion experiences in their parenting where they wait. If they need an immediate answer then they need to immediate care then they need to only interview providers who do both interview and signing on the same day.

it really is less painful to say a version of "we'll see" than no. It's less painful or caustic to say "you are one of many, I'll let you know" than a straight no.
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Old 06-28-2018, 06:08 AM
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2 of my last 3 interviews were automatically declined due to refusing to follow my no fragrance policy (which they knew about BEFORE coming to interview & the reason for it) - not only am I allergic to many chemicals, but I work with babies, some whom have special needs/allergies etc also. Sorry but my (& my daycare children's) health trump your wanting to smell like flowers or cologne
I have had to end an interview the second I opened the door. I tell them during the phone call and it's at the TOP of my website that no fragrance allowed.

The ones I've turned away at the door for wearing it don't come back.
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Old 06-28-2018, 06:26 AM
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I have had to end an interview the second I opened the door. I tell them during the phone call and it's at the TOP of my website that no fragrance allowed.

The ones I've turned away at the door for wearing it don't come back.
I know many workplaces have no fragrance policies, why should childcares be any different - the parents might not work there, but I do and the families that pick me love the no fragrance rule; And yes, I too have turned away people at the door... the fragrance would be so strong it came into the house before a person could step foot thru the door
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Old 06-28-2018, 08:20 AM
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What if you do have more interviews or plan to do more? What is unprofessional about telling that truth?

There are so many life experiences where you have to wait to see if you are chosen. The issue with daycare is a fundamental misunderstanding that the parent is the one who is choosing rather than the provider is choosing whether to consider them for a slot.

So many providers do one interview and offer the slot right away. The average parent thinks this is universal. It isn't.

It's okay to not give them an answer and make them wait. They will have a zillion experiences in their parenting where they wait. If they need an immediate answer then they need to immediate care then they need to only interview providers who do both interview and signing on the same day.

it really is less painful to say a version of "we'll see" than no. It's less painful or caustic to say "you are one of many, I'll let you know" than a straight no.
If you do have more interviews, than let them know and interview the others. If you don't then why lie? That is what I don't understand. People are given a lot of no's in life and the more it's cushioned or soften the harder it gets to hear. It's good to here the word no and why, then drag it out and lie.
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Old 06-28-2018, 09:31 AM
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Originally Posted by Meeko View Post
Message: "I loved meeting your family! I am going to be interviewing with interested families until (insert date). I will then decide which family I will be taking. Thank you!"

Then you send a "Sorry, I wish I could take everybody, but the spot has been filled" message.
I guess I don't see where the lie is by doing it this way. If I have a prospective family, I interview and if I am not sure it is such a great fit, in my head I am already planning to do more interviews to see if I can find a better fit. Even if I feel they would be a great fit, I tell them to go home and think about everything and I will contact them in the morning so I can sleep on it. For my own financial sake, I leave the door open in case I can't find anyone else and I take my time deciding, even if I have no current interviews scheduled. If they need immediate care (like next day care), I won't be a good fit for them unless they are past clients or highly referred. If I do find someone else or if I decide my finances can take the hit, I tell them I have decided to go another direction or that I have filled the spot.
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Old 06-28-2018, 01:23 PM
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First off...I don't appreciate being called a liar.

I ALWAYS interview many families for the same spot. I ALWAYS tell them that I will decide which child I am going to take on such and such date.

I NEVER interview and sign up on the spot.

ALL of my "the place has been filled" messages are polite and to the point....and truthful. I thank them for considering my daycare and for coming to the interview. There is no reason to be rude. They do not need to know I did not particularly like them or their child.

I know that if I went to a job interview, I would just want a "sorry the place has been filled" letter. Not a "sorry, but you wouldn't fit in here because you're overweight and your shoes are the wrong color"....even if they were being truthful.

Sometimes it's OK to be tactful and polite while still saying no.

Thanks Nannyde....you get it.
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Old 06-28-2018, 04:20 PM
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First off...I don't appreciate being called a liar.

I ALWAYS interview many families for the same spot. I ALWAYS tell them that I will decide which child I am going to take on such and such date.

I NEVER interview and sign up on the spot.

ALL of my "the place has been filled" messages are polite and to the point....and truthful. I thank them for considering my daycare and for coming to the interview. There is no reason to be rude. They do not need to know I did not particularly like them or their child.

I know that if I went to a job interview, I would just want a "sorry the place has been filled" letter. Not a "sorry, but you wouldn't fit in here because you're overweight and your shoes are the wrong color"....even if they were being truthful.

Sometimes it's OK to be tactful and polite while still saying no.

Thanks Nannyde....you get it.
I think where the confusion started is you saying to the op something about interviewing others for the spot and from her post it doesn't look as if she was going to be interviewing others for the spot. She didn't indicate that anywhere so telling the couple about interviewing others looks like she would be lying.
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Old 06-28-2018, 09:42 PM
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I just stated what I do when interviewing. I don't interview unless I have an opening. If I have an opening, I want it filled...so yes....I would continue to interview until I found a good family. I may interview 10+ families. Nine of them get a short, identical, polite message telling them thank you for their interest, but the spot has been filled. I don't spend forever telling each parent WHY I didn't choose them.

That does not make me a liar or unprofessional.
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