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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Never ending whiner.............
jacky 02:13 AM 06-26-2008
Hi, i currently have a 2 yr old in care for approx last 12mths.To put it nicely, the child i feel has been overindulged with parents attention & now is talking in a whining/nagging tone for everything.(i have had alot of other issues with the child as well, but nothing enough to may me terminate care)HELP.Today, child finished lunch, said "Jaaccky, i finnissheedd myy luunnchh" whine, whine.What would you do to help the child take on a more positive/acceptable tone when communicating? Its driving me nuts!!
DinTx 10:53 AM 07-03-2008
It's just a bad habit, but can become permanent.
Demonstrate the difference in normal and whiney voice and let him know you won't respond to whiney requests. The trick is being consistent with your boundary.
In your best whiney voice say something like, "Youuurrr whiiiinnnniiinnnggg. stop." Then model normal voice and say something like, "Use your words."
Or, "Noooo whiiiinnnniiinnnnng", "use your words", everytime he starts a sentence with whining. Or something as simple as, put your hand up and say "stop, ask/tell me with your words" in a normal tone. Keep the direction short, simple, to the point.
If he's requesting something, tell him you'll get it for him when he asks with his words, or normal voice. If setting a boundary leads to a tantrum, then utilize time out seperate from the group. Whining and tantrums are anti-social behavior and the other kids shouldn't be exposed to it. They catch on quickly, as you are aware.
It would be more effective if the parents were on the same page and making the same requirement of him at home, but he can learn there are different rules for different homes.
Demonstrate the difference in normal and whiney voice and let him know you won't respond to whiney requests. The trick is being consistent with your boundary.
In your best whiney voice say something like, "Youuurrr whiiiinnnniiinnnggg. stop." Then model normal voice and say something like, "Use your words."
Or, "Noooo whiiiinnnniiinnnnng", "use your words", everytime he starts a sentence with whining. Or something as simple as, put your hand up and say "stop, ask/tell me with your words" in a normal tone. Keep the direction short, simple, to the point.
If he's requesting something, tell him you'll get it for him when he asks with his words, or normal voice. If setting a boundary leads to a tantrum, then utilize time out seperate from the group. Whining and tantrums are anti-social behavior and the other kids shouldn't be exposed to it. They catch on quickly, as you are aware.
It would be more effective if the parents were on the same page and making the same requirement of him at home, but he can learn there are different rules for different homes.
daycaremom1998 03:47 PM 07-03-2008
Hi Jacky,
I must tell you that I agree 100% with DinTex. You really need to nip this behavior now before it spreads to the other children. If you set the boundaries, this little guy will quickly fall into line. I agree that stopping the child as soon as they start speaking in this voice by telling them to use their "big boy/girl voice" and then not responding to the child's request until they do so is completely acceptable. DinTex is also right that this may lead to tantrums, and I agree that you might have to use timeouts separate from the group; but I bet that once you start doing this and sticking to it, the behavior will change very quickly. Be ready though for the child to start behaving much better for you during the day, and then doing a complete 180 when mom or dad come in the door.
Hopefully mom and dad will be supportive and use the same technique at home. They might realize that the child does this, but they don't know how to fix it; so working together would be wonderful.
Good luck
I must tell you that I agree 100% with DinTex. You really need to nip this behavior now before it spreads to the other children. If you set the boundaries, this little guy will quickly fall into line. I agree that stopping the child as soon as they start speaking in this voice by telling them to use their "big boy/girl voice" and then not responding to the child's request until they do so is completely acceptable. DinTex is also right that this may lead to tantrums, and I agree that you might have to use timeouts separate from the group; but I bet that once you start doing this and sticking to it, the behavior will change very quickly. Be ready though for the child to start behaving much better for you during the day, and then doing a complete 180 when mom or dad come in the door.
Hopefully mom and dad will be supportive and use the same technique at home. They might realize that the child does this, but they don't know how to fix it; so working together would be wonderful.
Good luck