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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>I Didn't Think It Was Too Much Ask
Maggie 10:18 AM 10-16-2014
But apparently dcm did. I found out yesterday morning that 7 of my 8 kids will not be here tomorrow. There's no school for kids or teachers and most of my families have at least one parent who is a teacher another mom who works retail and she is also off tomorrow. That left me with one SA dcb so I text mom last night and let her know he will be my only one on Friday and ask if she could try to find back up. She texted back and said she will try but only had one person to ask, I say ok thanks. This morning she says she doesn't have an answer yet but will let me know I say ok that's fine. I get a call at around 10 and its her telling me she found someone but in the future could I give her more then a days notice for my days off. What! It was an unexpected opportunity for a day off of course I'm going to ask for it. She has been with me for 7 years and I have never taken a sick day or have even gotten up late causing her to have to wait for me. (she's my first arrival @ 6:15) but have many many times been left waiting for her because she got up late or forgot to tell me she was off. I have gone above and beyond for her so many times over the years and this just really rubbed me the wrong way. Does anyone think this was too much to ask?
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Josiegirl 10:26 AM 10-16-2014
She could have done it nicely, or she could have said she couldn't find care. But she didn't have to act all passive aggressive about it. Try not to let it ruin your day; it never hurts to ask when an opportunity arises like that. I would have probably felt a bit bitter about her remark too.
I just reread your post and if you found out yesterday a.m., maybe you could have texted her then, thereby giving her a bit more time to find someone?
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Annalee 10:29 AM 10-16-2014
I have a dcb3 that has always been here if I am open....he has a dad that does shift work along with a schoolage sibling....Many times he will be the only child I have and he is a good kid, but I am thinking why do they do this when they KNOW he will be the only one so I asked and they said "if i pay, he will come"...so he only misses when I close
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cheerfuldom 10:34 AM 10-16-2014
What does your contract say about notice?

Other than that, I would just leave things alone. Try and give the notice you can and then after that, ignore snottiness from daycare parents. Don't let this mom ruin your day.
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Shell 10:41 AM 10-16-2014
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
What does your contract say about notice?

Other than that, I would just leave things alone. Try and give the notice you can and then after that, ignore snottiness from daycare parents. Don't let this mom ruin your day.
don't worry about it. So you were supposed to open for just one kid?! My contract doesn't exactly specify how much notice I give, but I try to give tons of notice, BUT I would have taken the day, too. Enjoy your day off!
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Soccermom 10:46 AM 10-16-2014
Sounds like a case of DCP confusion where the DCP thinks they are your boss and are slapping you on the hand to avoid future slip ups from you as their employee.

I would have "politely" texted back - I apologize for the short notice and appreciate the fact that all my parents have back up providers. Being my own boss and owning my own business sure makes it difficult to take time off so I have to jump on the opportunities when they come up. It sure is great to be able to care for families who understand. Thanks again!



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MyAngels 10:50 AM 10-16-2014
I can see your point, but I can also hers. It was short notice and she could easily have said she couldn't find someone but instead arranged a last minute backup and simply asked for more notice if you can in the future. I would just tell her that this was a rare situation and that you will give as much notice as you can if it happens again in the future.

Enjoy the day off
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Cradle2crayons 10:56 AM 10-16-2014
I see both sides of this also.

However, if I'm being paid I would have never ever asked a parent to seek backup care. As a parent this would have really rubbed me the wrong way. So I understand why she was irritated.

As a provider, I rarely get any days off. I even work weekends most of the time. I know how great days off are.

Are you getting paid tomorrow by this dcm??
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Blackcat31 11:00 AM 10-16-2014
Originally Posted by Maggie:
But apparently dcm did. I found out yesterday morning that 7 of my 8 kids will not be here tomorrow. There's no school for kids or teachers and most of my families have at least one parent who is a teacher another mom who works retail and she is also off tomorrow. That left me with one SA dcb so I text mom last night and let her know he will be my only one on Friday and ask if she could try to find back up. She texted back and said she will try but only had one person to ask, I say ok thanks. This morning she says she doesn't have an answer yet but will let me know I say ok that's fine. I get a call at around 10 and its her telling me she found someone but in the future could I give her more then a days notice for my days off. What! It was an unexpected opportunity for a day off of course I'm going to ask for it. She has been with me for 7 years and I have never taken a sick day or have even gotten up late causing her to have to wait for me. (she's my first arrival @ 6:15) but have many many times been left waiting for her because she got up late or forgot to tell me she was off. I have gone above and beyond for her so many times over the years and this just really rubbed me the wrong way. Does anyone think this was too much to ask?
*said with a kind heart and good intentions*

I think DCM has every right to be upset. I totally understand you wanting to take advantage of an unplanned day off however, we (child care providers) sell/offer a service and parents buy or purchase those services.

I don't think it's right or fair of us (general us) to be upset when parents get annoyed about services not being available on short notice.

If sudden closures or closures without a lot of notice are something that regularly happen, then it should be something that is discussed thoroughly during the interview so that families that don't have a lot of back up options available for them can make an educated decision in regards to whether or not they can manage that.

I think the DCM could have been a bit more polite but again, it's hard to tell what her actual thoughts/feelings about it were since you are the only one that actually knows her, but I still think she was well within her rights to ask that you try to notify her farther in advance the next time.

If she called at 10pm, that tells me she had a tough time finding a back up provider so her tone may very well have been the frustration she faced having to scramble to find someone that was available and willing on such short notice.

I think it's great when we, as self-employed business owners can take advantage of the perks of this job ~ one being unexpected time off but at the same time we have to remember that parents DO count on us to be available on the days they originally contracted to use our services.
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Maggie 11:07 AM 10-16-2014
Originally Posted by Soccermom:
Sounds like a case of DCP confusion where the DCP thinks they are your boss and are slapping you on the hand to avoid future slip ups from you as their employee.

I would have "politely" texted back - I apologize for the short notice and appreciate the fact that all my parents have back up providers. Being my own boss and owning my own business sure makes it difficult to take time off so I have to jump on the opportunities when they come up. It sure is great to be able to care for families who understand. Thanks again!


Those were my thoughts too and pretty much what I told her when she called. I also let her know that my "day off" will be spent working on my 12 hours of required training that needs to be done in the next couple of weeks.
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melilley 11:15 AM 10-16-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
*said with a kind heart and good intentions*

I think DCM has every right to be upset. I totally understand you wanting to take advantage of an unplanned day off however, we (child care providers) sell/offer a service and parents buy or purchase those services.

I don't think it's right or fair of us (general us) to be upset when parents get annoyed about services not being available on short notice.

If sudden closures or closures without a lot of notice are something that regularly happen, then it should be something that is discussed thoroughly during the interview so that families that don't have a lot of back up options available for them can make an educated decision in regards to whether or not they can manage that.

I think the DCM could have been a bit more polite but again, it's hard to tell what her actual thoughts/feelings about it were since you are the only one that actually knows her, but I still think she was well within her rights to ask that you try to notify her farther in advance the next time.

If she called at 10pm, that tells me she had a tough time finding a back up provider so her tone may very well have been the frustration she faced having to scramble to find someone that was available and willing on such short notice.

I think it's great when we, as self-employed business owners can take advantage of the perks of this job ~ one being unexpected time off but at the same time we have to remember that parents DO count on us to be available on the days they originally contracted to use our services.
I agree with this.
I personally wouldn't ask a parent to try to find other care because I will only have that child, especially the day before. I will kind of hint around like "oh, it looks like L and B (my ds) will be the only one's here today", of course hoping that they will take their child home (never happens).

The bolded part above is exactly why I have never had an unexpected day off. Sure, I've had days (not many) where I should have had multiple kids, and ended up only having one, but never a day where all of them didn't show up.
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Cat Herder 11:42 AM 10-16-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:

I think DCM has every right to be upset.

I don't think it's right or fair of us (general us) to be upset when parents get annoyed about services not being available on short notice.

she was well within her rights to ask that you try to notify her farther in advance the next time.



we have to remember that parents DO count on us to be available on the days they originally contracted to use our services.
This is simply the truth.

Going above and beyond for her in the past has no relevance. It is only special to you. Never do special if you are going to resent it. Give gifts without expectation and don't keep score.

TBT, she could have simply said no. She felt guilted, manipulated and pressured to agree. But she did come through for you. You asked a favor, she did not owe you one.

I get the excitement, but for her it was just another work week. Maybe if it was an emergency closing I'd get your frustration, but for a fun day?
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Controlled Chaos 11:43 AM 10-16-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
*said with a kind heart and good intentions*

I think DCM has every right to be upset. I totally understand you wanting to take advantage of an unplanned day off however, we (child care providers) sell/offer a service and parents buy or purchase those services.

I don't think it's right or fair of us (general us) to be upset when parents get annoyed about services not being available on short notice.

If sudden closures or closures without a lot of notice are something that regularly happen, then it should be something that is discussed thoroughly during the interview so that families that don't have a lot of back up options available for them can make an educated decision in regards to whether or not they can manage that.

I think the DCM could have been a bit more polite but again, it's hard to tell what her actual thoughts/feelings about it were since you are the only one that actually knows her, but I still think she was well within her rights to ask that you try to notify her farther in advance the next time.

If she called at 10pm, that tells me she had a tough time finding a back up provider so her tone may very well have been the frustration she faced having to scramble to find someone that was available and willing on such short notice.

I think it's great when we, as self-employed business owners can take advantage of the perks of this job ~ one being unexpected time off but at the same time we have to remember that parents DO count on us to be available on the days they originally contracted to use our services.


As a parent, I would have been pissed. Because if she couldn't find coverage and sent dcb she would have felt like a jerk when she did nothing wrong.

Not saying you don't deserve or need the day off we all do

I have offered parents a discounted day if their kid was the only one, if I had a lot to do. Of if you don't mind me taking jr on errands or having SA kid help me with some chore like stuff I will buy him a special lunch and only charge you 1/2 rate. I have done this the week of Thanksgiving or Christmas before. Parents loved it. They appreciated I was open and liked me treating their child as one of their own and the kids liked the extra attention.
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Play Care 11:44 AM 10-16-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
*said with a kind heart and good intentions*

I think DCM has every right to be upset. I totally understand you wanting to take advantage of an unplanned day off however, we (child care providers) sell/offer a service and parents buy or purchase those services.

I don't think it's right or fair of us (general us) to be upset when parents get annoyed about services not being available on short notice.

If sudden closures or closures without a lot of notice are something that regularly happen, then it should be something that is discussed thoroughly during the interview so that families that don't have a lot of back up options available for them can make an educated decision in regards to whether or not they can manage that.

I think the DCM could have been a bit more polite but again, it's hard to tell what her actual thoughts/feelings about it were since you are the only one that actually knows her, but I still think she was well within her rights to ask that you try to notify her farther in advance the next time.

If she called at 10pm, that tells me she had a tough time finding a back up provider so her tone may very well have been the frustration she faced having to scramble to find someone that was available and willing on such short notice.

I think it's great when we, as self-employed business owners can take advantage of the perks of this job ~ one being unexpected time off but at the same time we have to remember that parents DO count on us to be available on the days they originally contracted to use our services.

This is the very reason I pay close attention to the school schedule and plan accordingly. If I do wind up with just one, then that's what happens. I'm still getting paid by everyone...
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Rockgirl 12:29 PM 10-16-2014
I've had days when I've realized I would only have one kid, and wished for that day off. I've also done the casually mentioning it to the parents...."Looks like it'll just be Suzy & me tomorrow!" Sometimes they do offer to take them elsewhere, but when they don't, those have been some of my most fun daycare days. Especially true if you are able to transport....taking one kid is easy! I've run errands, gone to lunch, etc. It makes the day pretty special for the child, too. I still have kids a couple of years later say, "Remember the day we went to McDonald's and Target?"
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NightOwl 12:34 PM 10-16-2014
I think I would've offered her a discounted rate for the week since it's a rare occurrence. But I don't think it's unreasonable to ask. Because that's what you did, you asked. You didn't say, hey, guess what! Don't bring your kid! You asked her to see if she had back up care. She could've said no.
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Thriftylady 12:40 PM 10-16-2014
Of course it is to much to ask. After all we are just simple SAHM's trying to make an extra buck or two right? I hate it when people act this way.
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Kimskiddos 02:20 PM 10-16-2014
Originally Posted by when is naptime?:
I've had days when I've realized I would only have one kid, and wished for that day off. I've also done the casually mentioning it to the parents...."Looks like it'll just be Suzy & me tomorrow!" Sometimes they do offer to take them elsewhere, but when they don't, those have been some of my most fun daycare days. Especially true if you are able to transport....taking one kid is easy! I've run errands, gone to lunch, etc. It makes the day pretty special for the child, too. I still have kids a couple of years later say, "Remember the day we went to McDonald's and Target?"


This is me too. A couple of summers ago I had a 4yo dcg and ended up having just her at least 1 day each week. We mostly just ran errands, always went somewhere for lunch, even one day to the movies. We had the best time and yes, it was some of her favorite times of being at DC.

But I do LOVE those occasion days off! Had this very scenario this past Monday. Texted the dcm on Friday after work to let her know her son would be the only kiddo. He stayed home with dad.
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Josiegirl 02:36 PM 10-16-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
I think I would've offered her a discounted rate for the week since it's a rare occurrence. But I don't think it's unreasonable to ask. Because that's what you did, you asked. You didn't say, hey, guess what! Don't bring your kid! You asked her to see if she had back up care. She could've said no.
Exactly this.
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Maggie 04:14 PM 10-16-2014
Had it been any other parent I probably wouldn't have asked unless I knew they had the day off but normally this mom has plenty of backup available. She has a grandmother, a sister and a bff who are available for my vacations or when her kids are sick. There have been many times over the years where she would tell me the day before or the day of that since there is no school dcb is going to so and so's for the day. Over the summer there was a day I only had her son and she said you should have told me he would be your only one I would have asked my sister to watch him. I don't feel it was wrong or unprofessional at all for asking she could have just said sorry I tried but no one was available and I would have worked as usual.
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