My kids were woken up in the middle of nap time by a surprise inspection. The DHS ladies had a few things to say regarding broken toys in the backyard that needed to be removed, no menu plan, or emergency numbers posted. Also i have no log for when my own kids or myself are in the daycare. Which is crazy sine they are always with me anyway. Apparently the new regulations or things i did not know about with my last agent are putting me in the hole here. Then the bring out the complaint filed regarding me posting things on face book about wanting slap customers upside the head at work or about being depressed. Completely false and breaking down my character for sure. Guess i need to be careful what i post since someone is out to get me. I have talked honestly and opening about thinking of working full time but i cant because i dont want the twins in daycare away from me. If i am depressed its when i miss my family in CA. This just hurts me deeply. Im not going to even tell my wife about this cause she knows i tend to be too open about feelings at any given moments. Still it could be anything or anyone and there is no way for me to know so it just breaks my heart. I dont want to do this anymore, im so tired of DHS being nosy and coming here telling me how i should be doing things differently.

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How old are your twins? How long until they go to Kinder?

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They turn three in August! So hopefully i can get them in preschool next spring. Course then i have to find a job too

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hey, it's o.k. you just barely started and those are very minor violations.
They know when you first start out sometimes you have to get used to doing paperwork, notices, etc.
I would however find a close friend to confide in, PM one of us or one of your friends that you really trust when you need to talk about things that someone can use against you. That's very sad that someone would do that.
They must have a very lonely life and have a lot of time on their hands to mess with you and start this.
Hugs and keep your head up..you are doing great!

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There's a light at the end of the tunnel!

Either your business will pick up and provide all the income you need, and things will just fall into place. Or, you will have the option to find a different job at that time that will make you feel less anxious (about income) and stressed (about DHS, parents, kids, income)!

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Last year I had 2 licensors (usually only one comes out) show up unexpectedly saying they had received a complaint call. They looked around etc and then I find out that this person had about 10 complaints of me, and it I knew it had to have been a neighbor, tho don't know why. I know how you're feeling, and like pp said, you can PM if you need to talk. Sometimes other daycare owners understand better than our spouses/SO's.

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I explained to them that the only issue is my second job, it makes me down sometimes but its never going to carry over to my weekly job. I love my kids and being able to play with them and the other daycare kids that come here as well! I just need to get rid of that second job hopefully after Christmas.

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I feel you 100%. I am in Oklahoma and DHS is out of control. I literally just got off the phone with my DHS monitor, I posted yesterday about a complaint received. They have way to much power, IMHO. So I really do feel for you.

Can they honestly find a reason that you posting on FB is even a valid complaint ? I wouldn't even think it was enough to come out, and that they would have ruled it out immediately ?!?

A few years ago, we had a mom who was out to get us. Two complaints - one over Facebook. We has to term her step-daughter, and everything stopped. So my advice would be to be as cautious as humanly possible.

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Am I clear? Someone filed a complaint based on a couple of things you said on fb? OMGosh - that is ridiculous! A bad day does not make a bad life!

I have a couple of local dcfriends and we talk on the phone everyday. They are my saving grace. I imagine it might be harder for you, being a man, to find a friend like that, but I can PM you my number. I could not do this without my lifeline phone calls.

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Those violations are pretty typical. I think they feel like they've wasted their time if they don't write you up for something.

As far as venting on facebook.... NEVER vent on facebook. Ever. Say only nice sappy sugary things, even if you don't mean it. Then vent on a private board only. (this isn't really private, but it's not anybody you really know) Daycare.com is safer than facebook. You need to vent...and you deserve to say how you feel... just don't say it on facebook.

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Dave, please know that what I am about to say comes from a good place and I am not trying to be hurtful in any way, but I must be honest with you.

1st, the minor violations, well, those are small issues, but ARE issues none-the-less. Fix them and take it as a learning experience.

I do not know what you posted on FB, but it is NOT SAFE to post things you don't want the world to know about on FB. It is defintiely not wise to post things like wanting to slap a client or that you are depressed....it iIS going to make people wonder about your ability to provide care.

That being said, there have been a few time I wanted to repsond to your posts about being depressed, but haven't because I didn't want to hurt your feelings. It is important that you deal with your depression, especially if you are working with children. I would never imagine you to hurt anyone, I am sure your heart is in the right place, but people suffering from depression do things they wouldn't normally do....wether it is hurting another person, forgetting to tend to important taks that result in safety issues, etc.......So, saying, on an open forum, that you are depressed is going to raise red flags when you are working with children.

I am so sorry you are going through this, and I hope that things change for you soon. But, pleae, do seek help if you are feeling depressed. For yourself, and for your children

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I appreciate your advice and help guys. I imagine a great deal with be better for us when i am able to stop working my second job. And a lot of what i deal with im pulling from my wifes struggles with her new job, so you never can tell. But it is never sufficient information what is posted online to determine the mental ability of anyone. At any rate this is all just the Lords way of showing me the areas i need to work on, and i trust He has his reasons. So ill push ahead just fine.

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Dave, I feel for you in all of this. This is a tough business to break into, and you have the added pressure of being a man in a typically woman dominated field. Try to stay strong,remember that you are doing this for your children, and remembver there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

I have struggled with depression, both severe and minor. You CAN be depressed and still accomplish all you need to. That being said, I think as caregivers we also forget to care for ourselves (I am guilty of that every day...could you pass the cheetos?). It is so difficult to take the time to figure out what will be best in this busy hectic daycare world.

Hang in there, and know that it will get better - it always does!

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Glad i have my best friend, even though he lives in CA i can always call him up and talk to him. Rode around in circles today with the kids in the car so i could have a few minutes to vent to him. Really between him and the Lord i should just keep all my upbeat comments for everyone else. Life is insane for us all at times but its good to have those in our lives who can encourage us so thanks for the help girls. Its just another day and another reminder that i must be doing something right!

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That is an awesome idea. I would be venting all the time though.

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Then the bring out the complaint filed regarding me posting things on face book about wanting slap customers upside the head at work or about being depressed. Completely false and breaking down my character for sure. Guess i need to be careful what i post since someone is out to get me. I have talked honestly and opening about thinking of working full time but i cant because i dont want the twins in daycare away from me.



Even at other jobs your bosses or potential bosses will look you up on facebook, there are a few solutions: 1) you can have 2 facebooks- 1 for daycare families and and 1 for only family and friends that is on private for only them to see. 2) have one facebook but never post anything that you wouldn't want to hear from someone who watches your children {if the tables were turned} 3) just have one and have it on private at all times and never add daycare parents- but this may make you seem closed off and like you have something to hide which is bad for your bussiness and your image.

Because when it boils down to it that is what this business boils down to: your professional image. That is what makes parents decide if you are the right person for the job of watching their "precious cargo" (couldn't find anything more cliche sounding than this lol). But most people want someone who isn't a "Negitive Ned" and that can cost you potential families because negativity rubs off. But just like ruin you it can also help you if you have daily post about today's curriculum or activities or funny anecdotes (not disclosing names course) or maybe posting about an idea for a possible field trip.

The rule of thumb is when you send positive messages out into the univeres you get possitivity back.

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People dont understand there is a big difference between being frusterated with the way rude customers are on weekends and having a stressed out wife who is watching the kids while im at work. Guess it comes easier for me to deal with the little ones then it does her. context is everything

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I think every one needs to vent, and sometimes I vent on facebook too. I try not to get specifc though and will say generalizations such as. is it Friday yet? I feel like I got run over by a MAC truck, etc...

It's healthy to vent, That being said, my facebook page is private. Only friends can see my posts. I don't accept every friend request either. And i do not friend my daycare families. I did however create a seperate page for my families. They are my friends there and I only post pictures and very brief comments. And everything there is set to private only friends can see except for photos of my empty home (no kids).

As for the depression, is it feeling down and depressed, or major depression. i too struggle with depression and understand feeling hopeless. If that is the case, I urge you to talk to a medical professional. You do not have to live your life thinking that feeling sad and lonely is the norm. I lived that way for years before I sought help and realized I didn't have to feel that way anymore.

I wish you the best and I am truely sorry that your inspection didn't go as well as you'd hoped. I commend you greatly for staying home and taking care of your little ones, opening a home daycare AND working a second job. I feel for you, as I've read other posts regarding dhs. Some of there rules and regulations are ridiculous. I hope things look better soon. I can relate with the spouse hating their job as well. We are in the same boat and it's not always easy to just "find another job".

Hopefully things will look up soon. I know things always get stressful around the holidays. Hang in there, this too shall pass. And when you are already down, the only way to go is up

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It is funny how children will sometimes listen to one parent better than another! My youngest dd doesn't listen to my husband at all! She laughs and thinks he is playing.

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Not medical depression thankfully. Though that does run in my family I am way to laid back to allow it to be serious. I am just so overwhelmingly in love with my wife that any little thing that upsets her, upsets me. Its a strange thing, that is why i hold on to so much and keep it inside if i dont need to let it out. Also why i choose to live here in OK with her family because every day when i miss my CA family i know all of the feelings that i am keeping her from having to have by living near hers!
So its not that i ever post anything about me feeling depressed. Some posts are in relation to hating working weekends, being irritated at rude customers... but it is the fact that my page is open to only friends to see so it had to be one of them which again is annoying cause i do not know which. Of course there could be the off chance someone just felt concerned, maybe it was a good wake up call to me though cause personally i have not been devoting myself to Bible study like i should be lately, have not been giving over my feelings to God and remembering he bore all of them already.
I feel bad because i have not been christlike like i want to be always. I have been concentrating so hard on trying to be real and transparent, i have forgotten about being like Him as well, and in the process reveal my weakness covered by His strength. Christ is my savior and my Lord, my God and my King.
Maybe that is why i am not preaching to adults yet, i love kids and hanging out with them so this is the path i am on. I just have to except the process and realize there are teaching moments for me to learn from daily.

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never post things on facebook. That is why you come here to complain keep it private.

ok broken toys.... yes they should have ben removed if they were a hazard. next time you will do better. You kids will break lots of toys in the years to come.

Menu posted. post one no dates. Will they really know if it was this week? better make your menu rotate a 4 week cycle. then it is already printed up and on Monday you just change the already printed menu. It makes meal planning easy also.

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Is it your usual worker?

I'm in Oklahoma, too, and I've noticed that different workers can (and will) interpret different things in the licensing book differently. Or some can even make up their own rules as they go. I've seen it happen. If you ever have a question about what your worker is saying, ask to see it in the reg book.

I know that we have to have our emergency numbers posted, but I've never heard about posting the menu.

Attendance... My worker said that I have to keep a hard copy for her to look at. For myself, my day care kids, and my own kids, since they're enrolled too.

I would also keep anything business off Facebook. Period. It's just always a good idea in general to keep business life and personal life separate.

Also, try to see if there's a home daycare assoc near you. Mine has been great and has really helped me.

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Yeah i don't post anything on FB negative about my work with the daycare. I know better. I do post plenty how annoyed i am working my weekend job which is my problem apparently. I told them that and gave them the reasons for any posting to be of such related to that job not the day job. I love my kids, im doing this for my kids. I enjoy other kids too which is why i am in school to be a school teacher! Its something i have put off getting ready for till now, but thankfully im in the right direction now

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