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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>dh is the parent who had off and still brought child to daycare (vent)
Nickel 10:30 AM 12-06-2012
I am so stinking mad right now!!! mil came to visit us from New Jersey. We haven't seen her in over a year. She also doesn't speak English and I don't speak Spanish. So it is very interesting to say the least. She came in last night so DH took the day off today to spend with my his mom and our youngest dd. Oldest dd is in school until 3pm.
Both children were up until 10 last night. I was already angry about that because I tried to get them to bed at 830 but NOOOOOO.
Then I went to bed at 11 and was up early and ready for work. I still had all of my dcks today. Dh was suppose to be spending time with dd and mom. What is he doing? SLEEPING!!! SINCE 830. It is now 12:30 and I got all my kids down for a nap early. Luckily the infants were picked up early this morning as dcms both had class and both got done early
BUT, dh has been in the bedroom since 8am. Am i wrong to be LIVID??? I think if he is off work that he should be around and spending time at least with the children, or even his mom! He IS that parent that took his child to daycare eventhough he was off. I did not expect him to help me out with the dcks at all today, but I did expect him to do SOMETHING!!!
Oh, and Why is he sleeping? because he was up until 2am playing a video game!!! Now, before you form your opinion, my husband also works long hours and is away on business a lot. So the children almost never see him. They are usually in bed by the time he comes home and is getting ready to leave when they are up. (he usually leaves for work between 8 and 9 am) he also works some weekends, so when he is off I fully expect him to spend time with the children.
It ticks me off tremendously that he chose to stay up all night and sleep all day when he could have gone to bed at a decent hour and been up with his family! Am I being too hard? The day is almost over. By the time dd wakes up it's time to go get my oldest dd. Then she has homework, snack, dck get picked up, dinner, and bed. It's dark here by 6:30 and I am trying to wind them down by 7 so they get to sleep at a normal time. So to my, the day is pretty much over by 630. because after dinner we have to clean up and prepare for bed. and I have really been trying to get them in bed by 8 so they are alseep by 830...
Sorry this is so long, I just really really needed to vent. I feel a little better, but I am still really really angry.
Heidi 10:34 AM 12-06-2012
All I can say is, you're not alone, and you're not wrong!
DH's grown daughters, hubbies, and kids came on Sunday for our Christmas. DH thinks Saturday night (montly poker night) is a good time to stay out until 4am, and then be cranky with me the next day because I still had to go out and get presents for HIS (technically) grandchildren. "I thought you took care of that yesterday".
Wow...just wow dude!
So...again...you're right. Let 'em have it sister!
DH's grown daughters, hubbies, and kids came on Sunday for our Christmas. DH thinks Saturday night (montly poker night) is a good time to stay out until 4am, and then be cranky with me the next day because I still had to go out and get presents for HIS (technically) grandchildren. "I thought you took care of that yesterday".
Wow...just wow dude!So...again...you're right. Let 'em have it sister!
Scout 10:42 AM 12-06-2012
I feel your pain a lot of the time. I also feel very lucky most of the time! We take what we can from them I guess! Is your MIL mad?? I would be hurt if I were her.
Nickel 10:50 AM 12-06-2012
I am glad I am not the only one! GRRRRR!!! I mean, i guess I am lucky in some senses, he DOESN'T drink, smoke, or go out partying with his friends. He actually is mostly a hermit and keeps to himself. We get into arguments all the time because he is like this on weekends, holidays, etc.
As for his mom. I dont know if she is angry. She did go in there and try to wake him up at one point but then his work phone rang and he was talking to someone so she left him alone. After the phone call he went RIGHT BACK TO SLEEP!!!
I get that he works a lot of hours, but come on. He has never had to get up in the middle of the night and take care of an infant and then work 12 hours. He's never known the pure exhaustion when a child is sick all night long and won't sleep and then you have to drag them to the doctor early the next day. Maybe I spoiled him by taking over all the child care duties. And I KNOW what being tired feels like. I know what fatigue feels like. So I get being tired. But why not get up, spend time with your family and then take a nap when the children nap? I mean, they sleep for 3 hours....
But nope, I swear he does it on purpose, He sleeps when theya re wake and is awake when they sleep. Except for right now.It's going on 1 and he is still in bed!!!!!!!!!!
As for his mom. I dont know if she is angry. She did go in there and try to wake him up at one point but then his work phone rang and he was talking to someone so she left him alone. After the phone call he went RIGHT BACK TO SLEEP!!!
I get that he works a lot of hours, but come on. He has never had to get up in the middle of the night and take care of an infant and then work 12 hours. He's never known the pure exhaustion when a child is sick all night long and won't sleep and then you have to drag them to the doctor early the next day. Maybe I spoiled him by taking over all the child care duties. And I KNOW what being tired feels like. I know what fatigue feels like. So I get being tired. But why not get up, spend time with your family and then take a nap when the children nap? I mean, they sleep for 3 hours....
But nope, I swear he does it on purpose, He sleeps when theya re wake and is awake when they sleep. Except for right now.It's going on 1 and he is still in bed!!!!!!!!!!
Sugar Magnolia 11:04 AM 12-06-2012
Sounds like my teenage son
DaisyMamma 11:26 AM 12-06-2012
I would have woken him up. I would have been mad, yes, for sure!
EntropyControlSpecialist 11:34 AM 12-06-2012
I can't imagine having a husband who does that. 
((hugs))
((hugs))
MyAngels 03:24 PM 12-06-2012
Personally I would have hauled his a** out of bed at 8 a.m.. 6 hours is plenty of sleep. It is incredibly rude (not to mention hurtful) to sleep his mother's visit away. And don't even get me started on the rest of your points .
Hope your day got better after he woke up
.
.Hope your day got better after he woke up
.
MarinaVanessa 03:36 PM 12-06-2012
Originally Posted by Nickel:
As for his mom. I dont know if she is angry. She did go in there and try to wake him up at one point but then his work phone rang and he was talking to someone so she left him alone. After the phone call he went RIGHT BACK TO SLEEP!!!
Can you sign language to your MIL to watch (point to your eyes) the DCKS (point to the kids) for a little bit (pinch the air) please (put your hands together and pray) and then finish with a big smile .... while you run over to DH and yell at him to GET OUT OF BED NOW!!!!!! And then come back and say thank you to your MIL. I'm sure she'll understand what's going on and will probably be ok with it As for his mom. I dont know if she is angry. She did go in there and try to wake him up at one point but then his work phone rang and he was talking to someone so she left him alone. After the phone call he went RIGHT BACK TO SLEEP!!!
.Oh duh, I speak spanish. Write this down and give it to her or say:
Puede cuidar a los bebes un poquito por favor. (can you watch the babies please)
And this is how you pronounce it.
poo-eh-de coo-eeh-dar ah lowes beh-behs oon po-key-toe poor-fuh-vore.
It's worth a try
laundrymom 07:28 PM 12-06-2012
I just gotta say ......
I LOVE you!
I do. I really do.
I LOVE you!
I do. I really do.
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
Can you sign language to your MIL to watch (point to your eyes) the DCKS (point to the kids) for a little bit (pinch the air) please (put your hands together and pray) and then finish with a big smile .... while you run over to DH and yell at him to GET OUT OF BED NOW!!!!!! And then come back and say thank you to your MIL. I'm sure she'll understand what's going on and will probably be ok with it.
Oh duh, I speak spanish. Write this down and give it to her or say:
Puede cuidar a los bebes un poquito por favor. (can you watch the babies please)
And this is how you pronounce it.
poo-eh-de coo-eeh-dar ah lowes beh-behs oon po-key-toe poor-fuh-vore.
It's worth a try
Can you sign language to your MIL to watch (point to your eyes) the DCKS (point to the kids) for a little bit (pinch the air) please (put your hands together and pray) and then finish with a big smile .... while you run over to DH and yell at him to GET OUT OF BED NOW!!!!!! And then come back and say thank you to your MIL. I'm sure she'll understand what's going on and will probably be ok with it
.Oh duh, I speak spanish. Write this down and give it to her or say:
Puede cuidar a los bebes un poquito por favor. (can you watch the babies please)
And this is how you pronounce it.
poo-eh-de coo-eeh-dar ah lowes beh-behs oon po-key-toe poor-fuh-vore.
It's worth a try
Nickel 07:43 PM 12-06-2012
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
Can you sign language to your MIL to watch (point to your eyes) the DCKS (point to the kids) for a little bit (pinch the air) please (put your hands together and pray) and then finish with a big smile .... while you run over to DH and yell at him to GET OUT OF BED NOW!!!!!! And then come back and say thank you to your MIL. I'm sure she'll understand what's going on and will probably be ok with it.
Oh duh, I speak spanish. Write this down and give it to her or say:
Puede cuidar a los bebes un poquito por favor. (can you watch the babies please)
And this is how you pronounce it.
poo-eh-de coo-eeh-dar ah lowes beh-behs oon po-key-toe poor-fuh-vore.
It's worth a try
Can you sign language to your MIL to watch (point to your eyes) the DCKS (point to the kids) for a little bit (pinch the air) please (put your hands together and pray) and then finish with a big smile .... while you run over to DH and yell at him to GET OUT OF BED NOW!!!!!! And then come back and say thank you to your MIL. I'm sure she'll understand what's going on and will probably be ok with it
.Oh duh, I speak spanish. Write this down and give it to her or say:
Puede cuidar a los bebes un poquito por favor. (can you watch the babies please)
And this is how you pronounce it.
poo-eh-de coo-eeh-dar ah lowes beh-behs oon po-key-toe poor-fuh-vore.
It's worth a try
You are Awesome!!! 
I gave up and let him sleep. He woke up at 2:45 and I left him at home with the kids while I went and got my oldest dd from school. He had the nerve to be mad at me! Whatever. I did leave at 5:30 and go to an awesome Christmas Party for Girl Scout troop leaders! And I had a lot of fun, SOOO... I feel better. Still upset and still upset that he doesn't see what he did as wrong. I don't even know how to explain it to him.
In any case, I did stop by Auto Zone and get the headlight fixed on his car
(Whoever has the kids has the suv so I took his car and the headlight has been out for almost a month). I asked the guy how hard it would be and he replaced it for me I LOVE when things like that happen! I even tried to tip him and he said no, he couldn't accept it.
littlemissmuffet 07:34 AM 12-07-2012
Originally Posted by Nickel:
I am so stinking mad right now!!!
mil came to visit us from New Jersey. We haven't seen her in over a year. She also doesn't speak English and I don't speak Spanish. So it is very interesting to say the least. She came in last night so DH took the day off today to spend with my his mom and our youngest dd. Oldest dd is in school until 3pm.
Both children were up until 10 last night. I was already angry about that because I tried to get them to bed at 830 but NOOOOOO.
Then I went to bed at 11 and was up early and ready for work. I still had all of my dcks today. Dh was suppose to be spending time with dd and mom. What is he doing? SLEEPING!!! SINCE 830. It is now 12:30 and I got all my kids down for a nap early. Luckily the infants were picked up early this morning as dcms both had class and both got done early
BUT, dh has been in the bedroom since 8am. Am i wrong to be LIVID??? I think if he is off work that he should be around and spending time at least with the children, or even his mom! He IS that parent that took his child to daycare eventhough he was off. I did not expect him to help me out with the dcks at all today, but I did expect him to do SOMETHING!!!
Oh, and Why is he sleeping? because he was up until 2am playing a video game!!! Now, before you form your opinion, my husband also works long hours and is away on business a lot. So the children almost never see him. They are usually in bed by the time he comes home and is getting ready to leave when they are up. (he usually leaves for work between 8 and 9 am) he also works some weekends, so when he is off I fully expect him to spend time with the children.
It ticks me off tremendously that he chose to stay up all night and sleep all day when he could have gone to bed at a decent hour and been up with his family! Am I being too hard? The day is almost over. By the time dd wakes up it's time to go get my oldest dd. Then she has homework, snack, dck get picked up, dinner, and bed. It's dark here by 6:30 and I am trying to wind them down by 7 so they get to sleep at a normal time. So to my, the day is pretty much over by 630. because after dinner we have to clean up and prepare for bed. and I have really been trying to get them in bed by 8 so they are alseep by 830...
Sorry this is so long, I just really really needed to vent. I feel a little better, but I am still really really angry.
Hubby and I are night owls... but during the week, I need to at least try and be in bed by 11pm or my days feel just way too long! Hubby and I have an agreement because we have different weekends than eachother usually (I'm off Sat and Sun, and he's off two random days of the week) that he can stay up as late as he wants for one of those nights a week but he must be up by at least 10:30am and help out around the house/daycare. The other night he needs to come to bed with me - but he's free the next day to go out or spend the day here doing whatever he likes without having to help around the house/daycare. I am so stinking mad right now!!! mil came to visit us from New Jersey. We haven't seen her in over a year. She also doesn't speak English and I don't speak Spanish. So it is very interesting to say the least. She came in last night so DH took the day off today to spend with my his mom and our youngest dd. Oldest dd is in school until 3pm.
Both children were up until 10 last night. I was already angry about that because I tried to get them to bed at 830 but NOOOOOO.
Then I went to bed at 11 and was up early and ready for work. I still had all of my dcks today. Dh was suppose to be spending time with dd and mom. What is he doing? SLEEPING!!! SINCE 830. It is now 12:30 and I got all my kids down for a nap early. Luckily the infants were picked up early this morning as dcms both had class and both got done early
BUT, dh has been in the bedroom since 8am. Am i wrong to be LIVID??? I think if he is off work that he should be around and spending time at least with the children, or even his mom! He IS that parent that took his child to daycare eventhough he was off. I did not expect him to help me out with the dcks at all today, but I did expect him to do SOMETHING!!!
Oh, and Why is he sleeping? because he was up until 2am playing a video game!!! Now, before you form your opinion, my husband also works long hours and is away on business a lot. So the children almost never see him. They are usually in bed by the time he comes home and is getting ready to leave when they are up. (he usually leaves for work between 8 and 9 am) he also works some weekends, so when he is off I fully expect him to spend time with the children.
It ticks me off tremendously that he chose to stay up all night and sleep all day when he could have gone to bed at a decent hour and been up with his family! Am I being too hard? The day is almost over. By the time dd wakes up it's time to go get my oldest dd. Then she has homework, snack, dck get picked up, dinner, and bed. It's dark here by 6:30 and I am trying to wind them down by 7 so they get to sleep at a normal time. So to my, the day is pretty much over by 630. because after dinner we have to clean up and prepare for bed. and I have really been trying to get them in bed by 8 so they are alseep by 830...
Sorry this is so long, I just really really needed to vent. I feel a little better, but I am still really really angry.
This works for us.
We also have an agreement that BEFORE he plays video games he needs to make sure I don't need any help/there aren't any chores to do and WHILE he's playing video games if I need something/have to say something that he pause the game immediately and refocus his attention to me/what I need.
This also works for us.
Sometimes setting boundries in a relationship helps to eliminate problems before they even begin!
I would be upset if my husband thought it was fine to sleep all day under any circumstances - but especially if he was supposed to be spending time with his mother and our child, and even took the day off to do so! And even more so if he was often away and didn't see his children as often as most dads do!
I think your feelings are very valid. I also feel bad for his mother. I hope you guys are able to talk about this and prevent it from happening again! *hugs*
crazydaycarelady 07:55 AM 12-07-2012
I can't believe he slept until 2:45! What does his mother think? Also if she came to visit he should be entertaining her since you are working. I'd be soooo mad!
MarinaVanessa 09:44 AM 12-07-2012
Originally Posted by crazydaycarelady:
I can't believe he slept until 2:45! What does his mother think? Also if she came to visit he should be entertaining her since you are working. I'd be soooo mad!
That's what I was thinking I can't believe he slept until 2:45! What does his mother think? Also if she came to visit he should be entertaining her since you are working. I'd be soooo mad!
.I'd be embarrassed that MIL came all the way to visit and DH spent the day sleeping especially if there was a language barrier between her and I and I couldn't "entertain" her (talk to her). Why'd he stay home then?
I hope his mommy mentioned something to him