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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>4 yr Old Baby, ugh!
melissa ann 03:59 PM 06-10-2010
I'm so sick of gramps treating his 4 1/2 yr old grandson like a baby. He carries him from the car into my house. (Sure, he's small for his age, like 36 in and like 25 lbs, but that's no excuse) then today, he laid him on the couch because he was still tired. What! As soon as g-pa left , I got the boy up. Otherwise he won't nap after lunch and will be a big pain by 3:00 because then he will be tired. Boy cries and gets clingy when being dropped off. At pick up he wants g-pa to pick him up, carry his artwork etc. I tell him,he can carry his own things. He talks in a baby voice, and is all whiny. I DO NOT put up with that. I tell him he's 4 1/2 and it's high time he started acting like it. Some days are better than others and when he does a puzzle by himself, he's like look I'm a big boy. I did it. And I ALWAYS give him lots of praise to encourage the big boy behavior but it goes right out the door at 5 pick-up time.
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Greenshadow 04:46 PM 06-10-2010
I have a similar thing going on with the lil girl I mentioned in the previous post about her going potty. Her mother coddles her SO BAD!! It almost makes me want to throw up having to listen to her say goodbye. Seriously. She talks in this strange pipsqueak voice and squishes her daughters tummy and body and says things like "Ok, bubbles, momma's precious baby girl, I have to go but I'll be back soon, my scrumptious bubbakins! I could just eat you up!" No kidding. Everyday. So the lil girl whines and acts like a baby the whole time. As soon as she is done throwing her fit and her mom leaves, she straightens right up and acts "normal" again. She doesnt act like that with me because she knows it falls on deaf ears. I just wish her mom would stop doing it because its not helping her any. No wonder she doesnt pull up her own pants before/after potty...she has mommy slave to do it for her. Oh boy.
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melissa ann 05:18 PM 06-10-2010
I hate all that baby talk to the kids. I have never, never talked baby talk to my kids. It shows too. My son turned 3 in April and speaks understandable. And no, I'm not the only one who can understand him. If you ask him a question, he will answer and you will be able to know what he says. As for the 3 yr dcg, I have a hard time understanding her. She is 2 months older than my son.
Dc kids know I do not put up with the baby act. Heck, sometimes the 14month old behaves better than the 3 and 4 1/2 yr old. How sad is that?
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Greenshadow 05:20 PM 06-10-2010
Yep, same here. My own kids dont get that treatment from me. I surely dont give it to the daycare kids. I love kids and I love caring for them but I see no need to talk to them that way or treat them as though they were the most important things on the planet. Its hard to watch. It really is.
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momma2girls 06:13 PM 06-10-2010
I once had a 4 1/2 yr, old girl still wearing pullups at naptime, and wetting in them almost every single day. Was always carried in by her Mother, and whenever we see them out in public, they are still carrying her, almost 5 yrs. old!!! UGHHH!!!!!!!
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Momma In MT 06:22 PM 06-10-2010
I have that same kid. LOL!! He dad walked in today and the whining, bossing her dad around began. I looked at her and said, "hey Suzie Q you don't do that all day and you aren't going to do it now." I said it in a very firm voice, and it actually worked. :-) Dad looked at me and said thank-you.
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professionalmom 06:35 PM 06-10-2010
Originally Posted by melissa ann:
I hate all that baby talk to the kids. I have never, never talked baby talk to my kids. It shows too. My son turned 3 in April and speaks understandable. And no, I'm not the only one who can understand him. If you ask him a question, he will answer and you will be able to know what he says. As for the 3 yr dcg, I have a hard time understanding her. She is 2 months older than my son.
Dc kids know I do not put up with the baby act. Heck, sometimes the 14month old behaves better than the 3 and 4 1/2 yr old. How sad is that?
Baby talk? Please ... when my 22 mth old DD acts up, I tell her that the behavior is "inappropriate" or "that is NOT appropriate". No baby talk here.

Now she talks a lot but in her own language, but I think that has a lot to do with the many ear infections she has had - fluid altering what she hears, so she is speaking what she heard but it's a little off. We are getting tubes in later this month.
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misol 08:38 PM 06-10-2010
"She talks in this strange pipsqueak voice and squishes her daughters tummy and body and says things like "Ok, bubbles, momma's precious baby girl, I have to go but I'll be back soon, my scrumptious bubbakins! I could just eat you up!"

OMG! This would drive me NUTS!!!
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Janet 11:26 AM 06-11-2010
I never, ever do the whole baby talk thing in my house. I didn't use it when they were babies and I never will. I didn't use baby talk with my daughter either. I think that when babies are spoken to, there is absolutely no need to speak in that creepy high pitched baby talk voice and no need to make up words or to intentionally mispronounce words. I hate that. All of the kids in my care that I've had since they were babies are all totally understandable. My own daughter was talking in complete sentences by the time she was 2. No joke, it was easy to have a 2 way conversation with her. I'm not saying that my kids don't use slang because they do, but they are speaking and they are easily understood. I credit a lot of that to just speaking to them as I would another adult.
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Vesta 12:01 PM 06-11-2010
I have a 4 year old that turns it on when his grandmother picks him up.
The first time he did it, my husband was in our office and came out after they left asking what in the world was that.
This kid is VERY articulate, with a large vocabulary and knowledge about things that sometimes surprises me.
But when grandma shows up, ooooh boy.
High pitched, kind of creepy, whiny voice "Graaaammeeee" "Grammy, up, pick up"
"Grammy, me go now" "Grammy, carry" "Grammy, lookee"
Blech
He will also do a infantile cry when he is dropped off by "grammy", that stops as soon as she is out of earshot.
In his defense, mom is deployed, and he is bounced between kind of strict aunt and uncle, very permissive grandma, inattentive dad, me, and state pre-K.
With all that bouncing he is still a very, very, well behaved child, never have a problem with him.
Every once in a while my husband will look at me and let loose a "Graaaammmeeee".
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DCMom 12:14 PM 06-11-2010
I think we all have had one of those, haven't we?? The baby talk thing drives me over the edge, I can't stand it!

My current one is a boy, he will 5 in July. He is a big kid~4ft tall and a good 40-50 pounds. He carries two blankets everywhere he goes, still comes in every morning with a sippy cup (while mom is carrying him) and still needs reminding/help regarding the bathroom among other things.

And she wants him to go to school in the Fall. Good Luck.

Why do parents hold their kids back like that? They live up (or down) to your expectations. When he is here, he is expected to participate with his age group and at least TRY to complete the activities. When he does, he VERY proud of himself and shows his mom who gushes for 10 milliseconds and then is right back to talking to him in that gushy, sing-songy voice as though he were 2 **sigh**

Poor kid.
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Janet 12:20 PM 06-11-2010
It's been my experience that every single child that I have ever dealt with that was "babied" by parents, grandparents, etc. was either an under-achiever or not very bright. I'm not inclined toward thinking that these children weren't smart. I think it was just that the bar has been set so low for them by their parents, etc. that they don't know how to aim high. I feel bad for them because life isn't going to get any easier. They struggle with their relationships with others because they don't know how to compromise. They've always gotten their way so it's hard to grasp the concept that they can't always get their way. It takes a lot of work to "de-program" this kind of mentality in children, but it can be done.
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melskids 03:10 PM 06-11-2010
i had to share a funny story.....

i'm not very close with my dad's side of the family, and i only see them all about once a year. we were all at my aunts for new years this past january. my cousin married a burly 6foot3, 250 pound red neck blue collar beer drinking deer hunting monster truck driving hick of a mountain man (ok.. you get my point...lol). their 5 year old started whining because he wanted to be picked up (AT 5 YEARS OLD)and this brutus of a man turned and looked at his son and said in the most high pitched girly voice

"aww... wust da matter babyyyyyyy? you want uppy?" i just about died.
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Greenshadow 03:23 PM 06-11-2010
Originally Posted by misol:
"She talks in this strange pipsqueak voice and squishes her daughters tummy and body and says things like "Ok, bubbles, momma's precious baby girl, I have to go but I'll be back soon, my scrumptious bubbakins! I could just eat you up!"

OMG! This would drive me NUTS!!!
It DOES drive me nuts! I want to throw up everytime she starts doing it! LMAO!!!
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Greenshadow 03:27 PM 06-11-2010
Originally Posted by melskids:
i had to share a funny story.....

i'm not very close with my dad's side of the family, and i only see them all about once a year. we were all at my aunts for new years this past january. my cousin married a burly 6foot3, 250 pound red neck blue collar beer drinking deer hunting monster truck driving hick of a mountain man (ok.. you get my point...lol). their 5 year old started whining because he wanted to be picked up (AT 5 YEARS OLD)and this brutus of a man turned and looked at his son and said in the most high pitched girly voice

"aww... wust da matter babyyyyyyy? you want uppy?" i just about died.
OMG! Thats hilarious!! Sad, but hilarious!!!
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gkids09 09:59 PM 06-11-2010
I have one very similar to this, except he's five and going to kindergarten this year...He hasn't always done this, but the past month or so he has started talking like a baby ALL THE TIME. He whines to his mom and dad or grandmother every single time they come. And they baby him. It is RIDICULOUS. I finally started telling him that I was not going to listen when he talked like a baby. And literally, just yesterday, he started whining and I stared over him at another kid, he kept whining until suddenly, it hit him that I wasn't listening because he was talking like a baby! He then talked in his normal "big boy" voice, and I immediately answered. It all has to do with the way they are treated at home. I even got a kid who just graduated kindergarten to tell him how much everyone will make fun of him if he goes to "big school" crying and talking like a baby. lol
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Former Teacher 05:19 AM 06-12-2010
Years ago I had a 5 year old boy who also talked in the whiny squeaky voice that would drive me INSANE. Well whenever I would call his name, Wesley, he would ALWAYS say in his whiny voice "whatie?". I would correct him CONSTANTLY and tell him "no Wesley, it is not WHATIE, it's WHAT?" Funny thing is, is that he only said whatie when you called his name.

Anyway, one day dad was leaving and he forgot to give Wesley a kiss. Wolsey said in his high pitched voice "Dad...dy!". Dad turned around and you guessed it...WHATIE?

I wanted to throw up.
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originalkat 05:43 AM 06-13-2010
OH mY Gosh! I dont have ant baby talk problems right now like the ones you all mentioned...but I cant imagine having to listen to that every day. I dont blame you for wanting to throw up! I would HATE having to hear that!
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fctjc1979 06:42 AM 06-13-2010
I guess my voice does go up a little when I talk to kids because the younger the kid, the more they tend to respond to higher pitches, but no way does my voice go up an octave and a half like some of these people. And no way do I use baby words. There is no such thing as a baba, binky, banky, or passy in my house. Although we do use the word tummy which technically isn't the correct term, but nobody's perfect.
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melissa ann 07:51 AM 06-13-2010
Originally Posted by Janet:
It's been my experience that every single child that I have ever dealt with that was "babied" by parents, grandparents, etc. was either an under-achiever or not very bright. I'm not inclined toward thinking that these children weren't smart. I think it was just that the bar has been set so low for them by their parents, etc. that they don't know how to aim high. I feel bad for them because life isn't going to get any easier. They struggle with their relationships with others because they don't know how to compromise. They've always gotten their way so it's hard to grasp the concept that they can't always get their way. It takes a lot of work to "de-program" this kind of mentality in children, but it can be done.
The 4 1/2 yr boy in my care, is the not the brightest light bulb in the pack. G-pa is not helping matters. I have been getting the boy to start writing letters. Everday it's the same though, he will just sit and stare. But after about 10 mins or so when he realizes he won't get to play until he does the work, then he does it. I always help him trace the letter we are working on, then he traces it by himself then does it without tracing. At home, it's playtime 24/7. When the dcb is doing his preschool work, my daughter is doing her work to prepare her for kindergarten and my 3 yr old wants to do work too. So it's not like dcb is the only one at the table doing work.
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Tags:4 year old, grandparents
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