Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Please Critique My Ad!
DuchessRavenwaves 05:12 PM 04-22-2014
Hi, fellow kid people! I just put this ad up and I was hoping maybe you guys could take a look and let me know if there is anything you think I ought to change. Do you see anything I should reword? I really need to pull in some kids here!
thanks!
thanks!
Originally Posted by :
Hello! I have a small, friendly in home child care on the east side near the fairgrounds, and we have openings immediately. I don't have any kids of my own, but I have years of experience and a genuine passion for child care. I love kids, and I love seeing them discover and make sense of their world!
I believe that early childhood is a time to explore, create, and learn by doing and playing, rather than focusing on a letter of the week and doing alphabet worksheets. I don't have a curriculum; kids will get enough of that when they start kindergarten. I believe rich, free play will do more to get them ready than trying to force them to start school before they actually start school!
I try to provide as many educational and sensory opportunities through play/every day activities as I can. Discussion of the alphabet, numbers, colors, shapes, animals, plants, and etc. is incorporated into our play. We sing, dance, laugh, and read! We just got a long, long roll of butcher paper, and the kids are all over that-- there's been a lot of coloring this week!
We foster strong social and emotional skills though modeling appropriate peer interactions and conflict resolution. We love to play outside! My group is small enough that we can take walks, and the kids always enjoy finding worms on the sidewalk (science!), watching the cars go by, (counting!) collecting different kinds of leaves (categorizing and organizing!), and just checking out the neighborhood (observational skills!)
We are CPR and first-aid certified, and strive for as home like an environment as possible. I want your child to feel as comfortable at my house as s/he does at yours. All families are welcome; I don't discriminate. Our numbers are low and we're pet free and smoke free. Healthy meals and snacks are provided.
$120 per week full time, $60 per week part time. Drop ins or daily rates can be discussed on a case-by-case basis. Email for more information or to set up an interview. I look forward to hearing from you!
Hello! I have a small, friendly in home child care on the east side near the fairgrounds, and we have openings immediately. I don't have any kids of my own, but I have years of experience and a genuine passion for child care. I love kids, and I love seeing them discover and make sense of their world!
I believe that early childhood is a time to explore, create, and learn by doing and playing, rather than focusing on a letter of the week and doing alphabet worksheets. I don't have a curriculum; kids will get enough of that when they start kindergarten. I believe rich, free play will do more to get them ready than trying to force them to start school before they actually start school!
I try to provide as many educational and sensory opportunities through play/every day activities as I can. Discussion of the alphabet, numbers, colors, shapes, animals, plants, and etc. is incorporated into our play. We sing, dance, laugh, and read! We just got a long, long roll of butcher paper, and the kids are all over that-- there's been a lot of coloring this week!
We foster strong social and emotional skills though modeling appropriate peer interactions and conflict resolution. We love to play outside! My group is small enough that we can take walks, and the kids always enjoy finding worms on the sidewalk (science!), watching the cars go by, (counting!) collecting different kinds of leaves (categorizing and organizing!), and just checking out the neighborhood (observational skills!)
We are CPR and first-aid certified, and strive for as home like an environment as possible. I want your child to feel as comfortable at my house as s/he does at yours. All families are welcome; I don't discriminate. Our numbers are low and we're pet free and smoke free. Healthy meals and snacks are provided.
$120 per week full time, $60 per week part time. Drop ins or daily rates can be discussed on a case-by-case basis. Email for more information or to set up an interview. I look forward to hearing from you!
Michelle 05:16 PM 04-22-2014
Originally Posted by DuchessRavenwaves:
Hi, fellow kid people! I just put this ad up and I was hoping maybe you guys could take a look and let me know if there is anything you think I ought to change. Do you see anything I should reword? I really need to pull in some kids here!
thanks!
I would put immediate openings Hi, fellow kid people! I just put this ad up and I was hoping maybe you guys could take a look and let me know if there is anything you think I ought to change. Do you see anything I should reword? I really need to pull in some kids here!
thanks!
and I wouldn't put .. we do not discriminate
Do you have references?
a website?
TickleMonster 05:21 PM 04-22-2014
Great ad! The only thing I might add is your hours of operation and how many openings you have.
TickleMonster 05:22 PM 04-22-2014
Originally Posted by Michelle:
I would put immediate openings
and I wouldn't put .. we do not discriminate
Do you have references?
a website?
I would put immediate openings
and I wouldn't put .. we do not discriminate
Do you have references?
a website?
Michelle 05:32 PM 04-22-2014
I really like what you wrote about how you teach the kids
maybe just not write you don't think kids should go to school before going to school.
although I totally agree with you about that, there are seriously people that will not choose you because of that statement
I think kids will learn the alphabet and numbers in your environment but just not in the " preschool in the box" kind of way..
so maybe just write,
we learn letter recognition, counting, sharing, and we love to do crafts and go on walks
you explain too much that is not necessary like the long long roll of paper
it's not bad, just not professional sounding..kwim?
Everything else is absolutely great!
love your passion for kids!
maybe just not write you don't think kids should go to school before going to school.
although I totally agree with you about that, there are seriously people that will not choose you because of that statement
I think kids will learn the alphabet and numbers in your environment but just not in the " preschool in the box" kind of way..
so maybe just write,
we learn letter recognition, counting, sharing, and we love to do crafts and go on walks
you explain too much that is not necessary like the long long roll of paper
it's not bad, just not professional sounding..kwim?
Everything else is absolutely great!
love your passion for kids!
TwinKristi 05:50 PM 04-22-2014
It's a little on the long, wordy side. I would cut out like 1/3-1/2 of it honestly. It sounds like an awesome program but after the first 2 paragraphs you kinda start skimming. I would also change "immediately" to May 1st or something. Immediately sounds like an empty daycare desperate to fill spots, May 1st sounds more like you have an already filled spot opening up for one lucky family then. 
craftymissbeth 06:54 PM 04-22-2014
It sounds like you have a great program, but for an ad less words are usually better. "Bullet-points" would be great in order to get the important pints across without losing the potential customer in black letters, kwim? Your ad should simply get them in your door where you can then sell yourself like crazy and tell them about all of the wonderful specifics about your program.
ABC Daycare has one opening starting May 1st!
-$120 Full-Time and $60 Part-Time
-Licensed Home Child Care (pet and smoke free)
-CPR and First Aid Certified
-Low Child Ratios (there's a better way to word this, I'm sure)
-Enriched Play-Based Learning
Call today because this spot will fill up quickly!
This is just an example.
ABC Daycare has one opening starting May 1st!
-$120 Full-Time and $60 Part-Time
-Licensed Home Child Care (pet and smoke free)
-CPR and First Aid Certified
-Low Child Ratios (there's a better way to word this, I'm sure)
-Enriched Play-Based Learning
Call today because this spot will fill up quickly!
This is just an example.
taylorw1210 04:21 AM 04-23-2014
Originally Posted by craftymissbeth:
It sounds like you have a great program, but for an ad less words are usually better. "Bullet-points" would be great in order to get the important pints across without losing the potential customer in black letters, kwim? Your ad should simply get them in your door where you can then sell yourself like crazy and tell them about all of the wonderful specifics about your program.
ABC Daycare has one opening starting May 1st!
-$120 Full-Time and $60 Part-Time
-Licensed Home Child Care (pet and smoke free)
-CPR and First Aid Certified
-Low Child Ratios (there's a better way to word this, I'm sure)
-Enriched Play-Based Learning
Call today because this spot will fill up quickly!
This is just an example.
I completely agree. I've found that my wordy ads do not get much response, wheras my bulleted ads outlining key points get much more of a response. It sounds like you have a great program, but for an ad less words are usually better. "Bullet-points" would be great in order to get the important pints across without losing the potential customer in black letters, kwim? Your ad should simply get them in your door where you can then sell yourself like crazy and tell them about all of the wonderful specifics about your program.
ABC Daycare has one opening starting May 1st!
-$120 Full-Time and $60 Part-Time
-Licensed Home Child Care (pet and smoke free)
-CPR and First Aid Certified
-Low Child Ratios (there's a better way to word this, I'm sure)
-Enriched Play-Based Learning
Call today because this spot will fill up quickly!
This is just an example.
Also, I would not list the number of openings you have available as listing only 1 opening creates a sense of urgency for the potential client.
I also would not say that you don't have children of your own as that's not entirely relevant to your ability to provide quality childcare.
DuchessRavenwaves 05:53 AM 04-23-2014
Originally Posted by craftymissbeth:
It sounds like you have a great program, but for an ad less words are usually better. "Bullet-points" would be great in order to get the important pints across without losing the potential customer in black letters, kwim? Your ad should simply get them in your door where you can then sell yourself like crazy and tell them about all of the wonderful specifics about your program.
ABC Daycare has one opening starting May 1st!
-$120 Full-Time and $60 Part-Time
-Licensed Home Child Care (pet and smoke free)
-CPR and First Aid Certified
-Low Child Ratios (there's a better way to word this, I'm sure)
-Enriched Play-Based Learning
Call today because this spot will fill up quickly!
This is just an example.
I came back to post my edited version, but I like this even better! I think I got too wordy because it appears the market is pretty saturated, and I guess I was trying to get a little more specific about what makes my place my place, you know? But using bullet points makes perfect sense! Thank you!It sounds like you have a great program, but for an ad less words are usually better. "Bullet-points" would be great in order to get the important pints across without losing the potential customer in black letters, kwim? Your ad should simply get them in your door where you can then sell yourself like crazy and tell them about all of the wonderful specifics about your program.
ABC Daycare has one opening starting May 1st!
-$120 Full-Time and $60 Part-Time
-Licensed Home Child Care (pet and smoke free)
-CPR and First Aid Certified
-Low Child Ratios (there's a better way to word this, I'm sure)
-Enriched Play-Based Learning
Call today because this spot will fill up quickly!
This is just an example.
MotherNature 05:57 AM 04-23-2014
I would leave out the 2nd paragraph..basically just state that you integrate play based learning. It's too wordy. I agree w/ the bullet points.
Laurel 06:09 AM 04-23-2014
I agree with others. I wouldn't put what you 'don't' do. I wouldn't say that you don't have children of your own, that you don't discriminate, that you don't do a curriculum.
I would word it as to what you DO do.
I agree it is too long.
Everything you are doing sounds great but the ad just needs some tweaking, imho.
Laurel
I would word it as to what you DO do.
I agree it is too long.
Everything you are doing sounds great but the ad just needs some tweaking, imho.
Laurel
jenboo 06:37 AM 04-23-2014
Originally Posted by craftymissbeth:
It sounds like you have a great program, but for an ad less words are usually better. "Bullet-points" would be great in order to get the important pints across without losing the potential customer in black letters, kwim? Your ad should simply get them in your door where you can then sell yourself like crazy and tell them about all of the wonderful specifics about your program.
ABC Daycare has one opening starting May 1st!
-$120 Full-Time and $60 Part-Time
-Licensed Home Child Care (pet and smoke free)
-CPR and First Aid Certified
-Low Child Ratios (there's a better way to word this, I'm sure)
-Enriched Play-Based Learning
Call today because this spot will fill up quickly!
This is just an example.
This! It sounds like you have a great program, but for an ad less words are usually better. "Bullet-points" would be great in order to get the important pints across without losing the potential customer in black letters, kwim? Your ad should simply get them in your door where you can then sell yourself like crazy and tell them about all of the wonderful specifics about your program.
ABC Daycare has one opening starting May 1st!
-$120 Full-Time and $60 Part-Time
-Licensed Home Child Care (pet and smoke free)
-CPR and First Aid Certified
-Low Child Ratios (there's a better way to word this, I'm sure)
-Enriched Play-Based Learning
Call today because this spot will fill up quickly!
This is just an example.
to be honest, I didn't even read a full paragraph in your ad. I prefer them to be bullet points so I can see quickly if I'm interested or not.
DuchessRavenwaves 10:24 AM 04-23-2014
Is this better? Should I cut off the intro, or leave it?
Originally Posted by :
Hello! I have a small, friendly in home child care on the East side near the fairgrounds, and we have openings for children 12 mo + starting May 1. I have years of experience and a genuine passion for child care. I love kids, and I love seeing them discover and make sense of their world!
--Warm, home like environment; smoke free and pet free
--CPR and First Aid certified
--Enriching play-based learning [social skills, numbers, alphabet etc.]
--Low child-to-caregiver ratio
--Nutritious snacks and meals provided
--$120 per week full time, $60 per week part time
--Open M through F, 7 am to 5 pm
Drop ins or daily rates can be discussed on a case-by-case basis. Spots are filling fast! Email for more information or to set up an interview. I look forward to hearing from you!
Hello! I have a small, friendly in home child care on the East side near the fairgrounds, and we have openings for children 12 mo + starting May 1. I have years of experience and a genuine passion for child care. I love kids, and I love seeing them discover and make sense of their world!
--Warm, home like environment; smoke free and pet free
--CPR and First Aid certified
--Enriching play-based learning [social skills, numbers, alphabet etc.]
--Low child-to-caregiver ratio
--Nutritious snacks and meals provided
--$120 per week full time, $60 per week part time
--Open M through F, 7 am to 5 pm
Drop ins or daily rates can be discussed on a case-by-case basis. Spots are filling fast! Email for more information or to set up an interview. I look forward to hearing from you!
Laurel 10:29 AM 04-23-2014
Originally Posted by DuchessRavenwaves:
Is this better? Should I cut off the intro, or leave it?
Much better! You can leave the intro I think. Is this better? Should I cut off the intro, or leave it?
Laurel
TwinKristi 10:31 AM 04-23-2014
Much better!!
Annalee 10:52 AM 04-23-2014
I like the bullet points version. In some workshops/trainings I have taken, they taught us that the average person only reads the first 3 sentences of an email/ad/text, etc. After that, it is just "jibber/jabber words". They say to highlight what is important with bullet points.....less is more when capturing the reader. Good luck with your daycare!
craftymissbeth 12:02 PM 04-23-2014
Originally Posted by DuchessRavenwaves:
Is this better? Should I cut off the intro, or leave it?
Is this better? Should I cut off the intro, or leave it?
it! I hope you get so many responses that you have the difficult decision of getting to pick who's best
MotherNature 12:19 PM 04-23-2014
Heh, if you were in my town, you'd be near me. Our fairgrounds is on the near eastside too. Made me look twice.
Made me look twice.
DuchessRavenwaves 12:36 PM 04-23-2014
MotherNature, for a second I thought maybe I was! 
I'm in a different midwest I-state, though.
Thanks, everybody! I put up photos, too, so I hope that will help. Now I'll just sit back and wait for the emails to start rolling in, right? Ha!
I'm in a different midwest I-state, though.Thanks, everybody! I put up photos, too, so I hope that will help. Now I'll just sit back and wait for the emails to start rolling in, right? Ha!
Unregistered 12:39 PM 04-23-2014
You don't need a ton of calls You just need the RIGHT calls