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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Not Keeping Dress Down
kitkat 06:46 AM 05-24-2010
Dcg is 4 and has been here for only forty minutes and I've had to tell her at least 20 times to keep her dress down. It's not like she's lifting it up and flashing, but twirling around and lifting it (not letting the air lift it, SHE'S lifting it) and rolling around on the floor and lifting it or just rolling on the floor and it goes up, which I think she's purposely doing. I told her if she keeps lifting up her dress then she needs to put shorts on under it. I've never had this issue before, so how do you handle it?
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My4SunshineGirlsNY 07:19 AM 05-24-2010
Well the new 4 year old daycare boy I have has a hard time listening...when I tell him not to do something and he does it anyway, I give him a warning and will count to 3. If he doesn't respond, I give him a time out.

His first couple of days here I found myself repeating myself over and over and over and he wasn't listening. So when his 3rd day rolled around I started the time outs when he didn't want to listen..right now he gets 3 min. because he doesn't turn 4 until 2 more weeks.

I don't ever need to yell at him..it's simple, if he chooses not to listen I calmly put him in the time out chair and set my timer. He throws a fit, I ignore him..when his time out is over he can get up.

I think he will get the hang of this eventually. Not listening= time outs.
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TGT09 08:20 AM 05-24-2010
Originally Posted by My4SunshineGirlsNY:
Well the new 4 year old daycare boy I have has a hard time listening...when I tell him not to do something and he does it anyway, I give him a warning and will count to 3. If he doesn't respond, I give him a time out.

His first couple of days here I found myself repeating myself over and over and over and he wasn't listening. So when his 3rd day rolled around I started the time outs when he didn't want to listen..right now he gets 3 min. because he doesn't turn 4 until 2 more weeks.

I don't ever need to yell at him..it's simple, if he chooses not to listen I calmly put him in the time out chair and set my timer. He throws a fit, I ignore him..when his time out is over he can get up.

I think he will get the hang of this eventually. Not listening= time outs.
I agree. This is what I do as well. If it's things that they have been told every single day since they've been here, I don't even warn. I tell them what they did wrong and then they go straight to the corner. Right now, it's jumping off the kiddie picnic table that I keep as our craft table. They have been told so many times I'm blue in the face.
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alyssyn 08:38 AM 05-24-2010
I agree also. Time-out for not listening and shorts under the dress. You shouldn't have to keep telling her.
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tenderhearts 09:36 AM 05-24-2010
I also have a 4 yr old dcg who always wears dresses and she isn't purposely lifting her dress, but she always sits very unlady like, rolls on the floor, sits with legs wide open and I just always remind her to sit nicely, ect. but because I have mostly boys, about 3 mo. ago I did ask dad to have her wear shorts under her dress, so now I don't have to worry about it, I do remind her gently still but I think at their age they are playing and arent' going to think about that they are showing off their panties to everyone and that it's inappropriate, so just reminding them to sit lady like will hopefully instill in them eventually to be more careful.
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laundryduchess@yahoo.com 09:37 AM 05-24-2010
yep, we wear shorts or leggings (in winter) under all dresses.
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HeatherB 10:03 AM 05-24-2010
Require that all girls that wear dresses have to also wear shorts underneath.
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mamajennleigh 12:45 PM 05-24-2010
I had this problem with a dcg who was 2 but was very big for her age. She would sit, no matter what she was wearing, with her legs wide open, which wasn't a big deal when she was still in diapers, but once her mom put her in panties, she would sit on the couch and "play" in there. I told her mother that she needed some kind of barrier and that she needed to have shorts on under her skirts/dresses. Her solution was to put her in these very loose-legged, short shorts, which was no better at all. I finally cut off a couple of pairs of leggings I got at the thrift store, and put those on her while she was here. When I explained to her mother that I have a house full of boys, including my own 3 teenagers, she acted like I was saying my boys were perverts. Ugh.
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originalkat 03:08 PM 05-24-2010
I have mostly girls in my home (2 are mine and 3 are dcg) I have not had this problem but instead of worrying about it I would just tell her parents to have her wear shorts/leggings underneath. I would still remind her about sitting ladylike just for future reference though.
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Unregistered 06:50 AM 05-25-2010
Thats what little girls do when they where dresses my little girl does this also but when we go out I have her wear shorts under her dress you can ask daycare parent to put shorts under her dresses from now on and tell her why.
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Chickenhauler 08:45 PM 05-25-2010
Here's my .02....

This time of year is a very active, outdoor-oriented season at our place. Dresses are not very outdoor-play-like clothing, kids run, jump, tumble, etc and this doesn't go well with a dress (at least, a dress and not showing off everything).

I'd explain to the parents that maybe a dress (they are kind of a formal type attire) maybe isn't the best choice for kids who are active and playing, moving, on the go, outside, etc. Maybe something a bit more relaxed, like shorts.
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QualiTcare 09:19 PM 05-25-2010
i've always put shorts on under my daughter's dresses. she's six now and i still do it. my aunt used to take her to church and i did it then too. my aunt asked me why one time, and i said uhh...perverts go to church too!

it doesn't matter how many times you tell a kid, they're gonna flop around - dress or not. my grandma used to fuss at me all the time about the way i'd sit - even without a dress. i didn't see the big deal then, but now i know why.
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kimsdaycare 04:01 AM 05-26-2010
I agree with everyone else, have mom put shorts/leggings under the dress or keep a pair at your home to throw on when it becomes an issue. I make sure they don't go home with them if I think they won't be returned. I have a Kindy girl that tends to wear very short skirts, she wears shorts or leggings to school and asks to take them off here because they bother her. I have no problem with that, but she knows my rule, If I can see her underwear, I will make her cover them. More than a few times I've whispered in her ear "Blue Hannah Montana's", handing her shorts to her with a smile. She knows the drill and just goes to the bathroom to put them on I'm the panty police and they all know it.

As far as not listening, I give plenty of warnings before a time-out - until I feel I'm being ignored on purpose. For that, time-out comes swiftly and I don't waste my time negotiating it or listening to excuses. I'll usually just give them the look, point to their new home for the next few minutes and start up something fun with the ones that WERE listening. If our ears are broken, we need to make sure they are working again before playing. I tell them it's a safety thing lol!
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kimsdaycare 04:19 AM 05-26-2010
I agree with everyone else, have mom put shorts/leggings under the dress or keep a pair at your home to throw on when it becomes an issue. I make sure they don't go home with them if I think they won't be returned. I have a Kindy girl that tends to wear very short skirts, she wears shorts or leggings to school and asks to take them off here because they bother her. I have no problem with that, but she knows my rule, If I can see her underwear, I will make her cover them. More than a few times I've whispered in her ear "Blue Hannah Montana's", handing her shorts to her with a smile. She knows the drill and just goes to the bathroom to put them on I'm the panty police and they all know it lol.

As far as not listening, I give plenty of warnings before a time-out - until I feel I'm being ignored on purpose. For that, time-out comes swiftly and I don't waste my time negotiating it or listening to excuses. I'll usually just give them the look, point to their new home for the next few minutes and start up something fun with the ones that WERE listening. If our ears are broken, we need to make sure they are working again before playing.
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Lucy 11:15 AM 05-26-2010
What are the ages of the other kids in your care?

If they are all 4 and under, I wouldn't worry about it.

If they are older and are girls as well, I wouldn't worry about it.

If they are older and are boys but not even looking at her when she does this and not giggling or making comments, I wouldn't worry about it.

This is a phase and she'll quit on her own. In the meantime, what harm is it doing anyone? Unless you have boys who are older than her AND are making comments or giggling/whispering over it. If that's not happening, the MOST I would do is casually mention it to the girl's parents as part of a cute little story about her day, then add "if it bothers you, you might want to have her wear shorts, but it's up to you".

I see I'm obviously in the minority here, but I don't see the harm. It's not like she touching herself or pulling down her underwear. It's just fiddling with her dress just like someone would fiddle with their hair. I bet she doesn't even wear a dress everyday.
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Tags:4 year old, undressing
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