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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>I've Had It!!! Long Rant/ Wanting To Term NOW!
E Daycare 06:43 AM 03-31-2011
Please tell me this is just cause or Im going to cry out of frustration!

Dcg that Ive had issues with, the one with parents coming early or late, getting a discount and then coming less then full time, chewing on everything, baby daddy drama, food problems, constantly ringing my doorbell and everything else under the sun had told me yesterday dcg would not come today. Dcm told me shed call me before 10pm if she happened to get called in and dcg would come in other then that figure dcg wasnt going to come.

10pm rolls around and no call. I go to bed and dont set my alarm because on Thursdays I only have dcg so I wake up when ds wakes up. There is no need for me to rush then. So I get up at 7:45 and get dressed so ds and I can go downstairs and get breakfast. Since I got no call or text I made plans with ds (who is 21 mo) to go to the local free play bounce house. Open from 10-3 tues-fri for drop in play. Hes all excited as I shower and keeps saying "bounce bounce" and Ive showed him videos from when we went two weeks ago so hes so happy.

Ds and I are playing in the front play room while I wait for my clothes to dry upstairs and happen to look out the front window where I see baby daddy standing on my door step!!!!

Its 10am and Im THIS close to going. We were going to go upstairs and get dressed and then leave like right now. He sees me peak and I open the door and he has dcg in the car and is like "dcm tried calling as she got called in for some overtime and I need to clean so here she is!" and drops her on the floor. Im in such shock as Im clearly dressed and my hair is done. I tell him "I have plans to go to Kentucky today" and he says "well dcm tried getting a hold of you..." as I tell him "I didnt get any calls and Ive been playing with DS so if she did call then I missed it" OBVIOUSLY!

You guys, Im so sad I almost cried. I have one whole day to myself with my son and now we cant go to the bounce place because Id have to drag a stroller in with me. My son needs help climbing on stuff and I highly enjoy climbing and sliding down the bounce toys with him and Im just so friggin upset!

I texted DH about this and he said "screw it, term them today. We will figure it out with money". My contract says I can term at will but I have so many other issues that its no problem really. The thing is, I give two weeks and I dont want them back after today at all. So do I give them a "dont come back" letter with their enrollment money or give them two weeks. Im fuming! This is the second incident this week where Im pissed. Tuesday she didnt come in till 10:30 because baby daddy slept in. I couldve done stuff then too. Why do these people have some major issues staying home with their kid? Dcm works weekends too (shes a nurse at a adult home and does PRN work) so shes hardly with dcg. Baby daddy just came back into the picture two weeks ago and its been ALL DOWN HILL since then.

What would or have you guys done with terming? Two weeks or shut the door today?
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daysofelijah 06:49 AM 03-31-2011
Unfortunately if you are beyond your initial trial period and your contract says two weeks you probably should give the two weeks notice. You can always hope that they won't come back at all. Maybe with your notice say that two weeks pay will not be required if they choose to not use the two weeks? Maybe they would go for that option.
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missnikki 06:50 AM 03-31-2011
You might want to bite the bullet on this one. I would term with 2 weeks and offer no explanation. Give a letter with date care will end and final balance. Do ont apologize.

I'm betting they will not return.
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momatheart 06:50 AM 03-31-2011
Shut the door today and move on. You deserve respect and this family has been a thorn in your side. You have your husband's blessing end it today and move on. NEXT as I like to say.

Here is what you said in your pp. My contract says I can term at will but I have so many other issues that its no problem really.
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JenNJ 06:52 AM 03-31-2011
Why did you accept her into care today? I would NOT answer the door or answer and not open the door. You are being taken advantage of bc you are letting them. 10pm means 10pm. No call, no care. They know you wouldn't put up a fight so they dropped her off. If you want her gone now, call them and tell them to come get her.
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marniewon 06:53 AM 03-31-2011
First, I would not have let dcg stay. Dcm did NOT call by the time she told you she would so you were not obligated to watch her today. I would have sent them on their merry way at the door. But, since that didn't happen, yep, term them, immediately. In fact, I would call dcd and tell him to come get her.

Type up a quick term letter and hand it to him when he picks up dcg.

I would be furious too. The thing is, most of us do daycare to better our families (more money, stay home with kids, etc) and when your own child has to take a backseat to the daycare because of these morons, that kind of defeats the purpose.

Do yourself and your son a favor and call dcd now. I wouldn't give them 2 weeks. With all the crap they've pulled, they don't deserve the respect of a notice.

Good luck and let us know how it goes!
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momofboys 06:53 AM 03-31-2011
Too bad the dad saw you peek out the window!!! I honestly would not have opened the door. I've had parents do that to me. . . tell me I am not needed & then in the morning will call me at 10 am asking if they could drop off as they now need me for a dr's appt or whatever last-minute stuff they plan to use me for. I make my plans & I leave the house. I would term, you sound mad & I don't blame you. They did not call when you required them to. Did the dad sound sorry when you said she had not called & you made plans. I think the best thing you coudl have done was to say sorry but I am on my way out the door. No one notified me & I can't take another child with me. None of their business where you were going. I know easier said then done. But honestly I would term & be done. What day are they paid through? That is when I would end it. IF they are paid through tomorrow tell them that is their last day.
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missnikki 06:54 AM 03-31-2011
Originally Posted by marniewon:
First, I would not have let dcg stay. Dcm did NOT call by the time she told you she would so you were not obligated to watch her today. I would have sent them on their merry way at the door. But, since that didn't happen, yep, term them, immediately. In fact, I would call dcd and tell him to come get her.

Type up a quick term letter and hand it to him when he picks up dcg.

I would be furious too. The thing is, most of us do daycare to better our families (more money, stay home with kids, etc) and when you have to cancel your own child has to take a backseat to the daycare because of these morons, that kind of defeats the purpose.
Do yourself and your son a favor and call dcd now. I wouldn't give them 2 weeks. With all the crap they've pulled, they don't deserve the respect of a notice.

Good luck and let us know how it goes!
Very well put! I agree entirely.
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daysofelijah 06:54 AM 03-31-2011
Oh I missed the part where your contract says you can term at will. Since that is the case I would have the term letter, any refund on deposit (or any bill for outstanding fees) and all the kids stuff ready to go at pick up today. Good riddance!
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AfterSchoolMom 06:55 AM 03-31-2011
I would NOT have let her stay...but if your contract says that you can term at will, then I don't see why you should give two weeks. However, I'd refund any prepaid money or deposits.
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SilverSabre25 06:55 AM 03-31-2011
Originally Posted by momatheart:
Shut the door today and move on. You deserve respect and this family has been a thorn in your side. You have your husband's blessing end it today and move on. NEXT as I like to say.

Here is what you said in your pp. My contract says I can term at will but I have so many other issues that its no problem really.
yep yep yep
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Lilbutterflie 06:58 AM 03-31-2011
That stinks! I would have told baby daddy that dcm told you she would call by last night 10pm and that she didn't; therefore you made the decision to close based on no children being expected. I would have turned him away at the door. Sorry, she didn't call in time.

As far as terming, I think you should go by what your contract says. If your contract says two weeks, I think you should give them two weeks notice. If your contract says you can terminate at will without notice, then term effective immediately.

Sorry they've treated you this way. Good luck!
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E Daycare 07:00 AM 03-31-2011
Thanks Guys!

My term procedure states this:

This contract can be termed by parent or provider by giving a two weeks notice in advance with a ending date for any reason. Payment by the parent is due for that notice period even if the child is not in care. The provider may ter the contract without giving notice if the parent does not make payment when payment is due. Failure by the provider to enforce one or more of these terms of contract does not waive the right of the provider to enforce any other terms of contract.

So with that saying, is that the loop hole to get me out of the two weeks?
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momma2girls 07:03 AM 03-31-2011
I would not have answered the door. I once had this happen to me, but fortunately we were leaving that day on vac. We had airline tickets to go somewhere. I didn't answer my door. They looked on my activity schedule on the door, and see my vac. started that day and took off. They never told me they came that day, and I didn't say anything to them either. I give every family notes with upcoming reminders on them, upcoming vac. days, Holidays, etc. months in advance. Then I repeat it on monthly newsletters, and the monthly calendar.
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Lilbutterflie 07:03 AM 03-31-2011
It sounds to me like you are obligated to give them two weeks notice. If they refuse to pay for the last two weeks; then you can terminate immediately.

That's how I understand it.
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momofboys 07:05 AM 03-31-2011
Originally Posted by E Daycare:
Thanks Guys!

My term procedure states this:

This contract can be termed by parent or provider by giving a two weeks notice in advance with a ending date for any reason. Payment by the parent is due for that notice period even if the child is not in care. The provider may ter the contract without giving notice if the parent does not make payment when payment is due. Failure by the provider to enforce one or more of these terms of contract does not waive the right of the provider to enforce any other terms of contract.

So with that saying, is that the loop hole to get me out of the two weeks?

Do you think they will pay you for those 2 weeks? I would say it could be a loophole but maybe not. How easy will it be for them to find a new provider? IF they are willing to pay you up front fien but I would say if they are unwilling to pay the 2 weeks upfront you have the right to term immediately. You could say fees are due in advance for the next 2 weeks until their last day of care. If they don't or won't pay then term immediately.
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countrymom 07:06 AM 03-31-2011
I wouldn't have let them stay, this is where you need a back bone. Now imagine if you had to go to the dr or something, do you think they would have cared, nope. Acually you should have called back and said to come and pick your kid up because you had to go and do something. Or better call mom and chew her head off.
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momma2girls 07:07 AM 03-31-2011
I also had to add this to my contract- your last 2 weeks of daycare must be paid upfront.
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E Daycare 07:12 AM 03-31-2011
Originally Posted by momofboys:
Too bad the dad saw you peek out the window!!! I honestly would not have opened the door. I've had parents do that to me. . . tell me I am not needed & then in the morning will call me at 10 am asking if they could drop off as they now need me for a dr's appt or whatever last-minute stuff they plan to use me for. I make my plans & I leave the house. I would term, you sound mad & I don't blame you. They did not call when you required them to. Did the dad sound sorry when you said she had not called & you made plans. I think the best thing you coudl have done was to say sorry but I am on my way out the door. No one notified me & I can't take another child with me. None of their business where you were going. I know easier said then done. But honestly I would term & be done. What day are they paid through? That is when I would end it. IF they are paid through tomorrow tell them that is their last day.

Heres the kicker, they paid for just Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday care. Today was her day off so she hasnt paid for today!

Who shows up at someones house and just drops a kid off at 10am? Im so mad that he saw me peaking out the window! Im so mad I was too shocked and nice to let him push his way in my door! Im so mad that Ive let it get this far but needed the $100 a weeks to help with groceries but its not worth it anymore. Ill suck it up, eat the cost and stop buying myself food and just feed my kid and dck. Im so mad that there are families like this out there that inconvenience other families, their own kids and lives.

I knew as soon as the father came back that it would go to crap. Im sorry I was right.

Im packing her stuff and having it by the door today with term letter in hand and will refund their deposit.
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laundrymom 07:14 AM 03-31-2011
I'd call tell them your sick,... Come immediately to pick up. If dad says anything tell him you are sick and unable to keep his child he has 15 min to pick up Then go to bounce with your child. You ARE sick. Of this treatment. Then term this evening. Do it NOW.
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E Daycare 07:19 AM 03-31-2011
Well with your advice, even though I want to term today I will do the proper 2 weeks notice. This way they can find care and I wont have to worry about them being sue happy. Now with any luck they wont show up again but I bet they will. They arent ones to miss care so I doubt they will stop bringing her. If they do Ill be really surprised!
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momofboys 07:26 AM 03-31-2011
Originally Posted by E Daycare:
Well with your advice, even though I want to term today I will do the proper 2 weeks notice. This way they can find care and I wont have to worry about them being sue happy. Now with any luck they wont show up again but I bet they will. They arent ones to miss care so I doubt they will stop bringing her. If they do Ill be really surprised!
Just make sure you get paid for today (since you say they hadn't paid for today) & REQUIRE payment in advance for the next 2 weeks. No pay, no play!
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missnikki 07:40 AM 03-31-2011
I read your contract terms, and I took it to mean that the second they don't pay what is due when it is normally due, then you can cut them off. If they are in good standing financially right now, you have to do the 2 weeks, and cannot change your payment due date (that would be THEIR loophole to get out of paying).

The first day they skip on payment is the child's last day.
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MyAngels 07:41 AM 03-31-2011
Hand them the termination letter (with two weeks notice), along with a letter that, effective immediately, your rates are doubling . Just Kidding. Sort of .
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E Daycare 07:53 AM 03-31-2011
Yeah I just typed up my letter to read that their last day will be April 14th and their ending balace is X amount. I deducted their enrollment balance so for 8 days of care they pay just a bit more then what one would pay for a full time spot in my care. Almost getting a week free since they are highly discounted to begin with, only come 4 days and have a enrollment fee to subtract. Id like to get the ending balance but if they dont come or pay, to be honest with you, I wont go looking for it.

I want to wash my hands of this family and call it a day. Or in my case call it the past 6 months.
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nannyde 07:57 AM 03-31-2011
It sounds like you are angry because you didn't say no to them. Now you are willing to give up the money. The timing of that is off. You need to "get to that place" BEFORE they ruin your day.

Piece of advice.... don't give gray times to them. If you tell them you MIGHT care for the kid IF this or that happens... all they are going to here is that you will take the kid. PERIOD They don't hear the terms... just the yes.

Best to get a definite yes and the money up front. Then you can plan your day accordingly.

You can put a BIG red CLOSED sign on your door for future situations like this. It gives you something to point to when the Dad says he wants care.

You could have just said "Oh we are CLOSED today" and pointed to the sign. If he says the Mom called say "sounds like you guys have something to talk about tonight".
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DaycareMomma 07:59 AM 03-31-2011
I would term immediately. You said they paid for Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday NOT THURSDAY.... So they haven't paid for today... Term them. You cannot keep letting them walk all over you like this. I would also call dcm and chew her hinney.
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cheerfuldom 08:08 AM 03-31-2011
I agree with nanny...rewrite your contract in a firm, no gray areas way. Do not allow this to happen again with any family. Write in that you can term at any time for any reason with no notice and no refund (thats what I have). They are doing this to you because you have let them. Starting out firm with the next family is the only way to go.
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wdmmom 08:35 AM 03-31-2011
I wouldn't have given him the opportunity to say "there you go". You seen him at the door....it doesn't mean you had to answer it. You should have known what was going to happen by opening.

If you really had no intention of watching DCG, you should have told dad NO and told him to contact the backup provider. Or...you could have contacted the emergency contacts to pick the child up.
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Angelwings36 08:51 AM 03-31-2011
I would be irate and there would be no way in blooming h*** that I would have accepted the little girl that day. I would have been straight up and told the dad "I'm sorry but your wife was suppose to let me know by 10pm last night whether she needed care today or not. She didn't call me by 10pm last night so I went ahead and booked an appointment for today as I have no other children present. (I would use the term appointment because at this point it is really none of their business what you have planned for the day)" Then I would have said, "I'm sorry but I'm just on my way out the door, I will see you guys tomorrow!"

Now if the dad decided at this point to put in his two bits and argue that he was leaving his daughter because his wife had tried calling this morning, I would have said "Sorry but the call was to be made by 10pm last night, even if she did try calling this morning it would have been too late."

If he continued to push things at that point I would have pulled out my contract...

In my contract under the category "termination" I have this phrase included...

If the childcare provider is treated inappropriately, disrespected or harassed by the parents childcare services can be immediately terminated by the childcare provider. In this case any fees paid prior will be non-refundable.

This is the only phrase under 'termination' where I have the power to term on the spot without refunding the parents and given the circumstances it would be used it I think that is only fair.

I would have then told dad, "consider this your termination." And either closed the door or walked away into another part of the house until he left to avoid further confrontation infront of his daughter.

In your case...

Does it state in your contract that fees must be paid prior to the child attending care?

If so then I would message the family today (as soon as their daughter is back in their care) and inform them that you were very disappointed with todays happenings and that being that they have not paid their fee on time for today you are terming as of now and will use the payment given to you for friday to cover today's missed fees.
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E Daycare 09:51 AM 03-31-2011
In my contract I have the following examples as what I can term for;

Lack of parental cooperation
Repeated failure to pick up or drop off the child at scheduled time

These two instances happened within this week. Ive been hanging onto this family till I can get a full timer to replace them. My paper ad drops this Saturday along with the online ad and I have my CL ad updated and am trying to promote part time care more. I have a new part timer starting next week, have my current part timer and a lot of inquires for the summer full time from teachers. I was trying to stick it out with this family a bit longer, things got A LOT better when the dad was kicked out but now that hes back its one big cluster.

Late fees out the wazoo didnt scare them so now Im going to revamp my contract AGAIN (as I made a new one for the new year) and hope my backbone grows better and better.

I know this is my fault, they shouldve had their butts handed to them a long time ago, and now their kid is the one who suffers. Or has been suffering. I tried to stick for the kid and see through all the piss and pot but now I just cant. I forget this is MY business and I cant let others run all over me.

The thing is, Ive never dealt with people like this before. I knew there were ones out there like this but holy crap, why do some people walk around like they are the only ones on earth and we are at their 24/7 call?
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E Daycare 09:53 AM 03-31-2011
Originally Posted by Angelwings36:
Does it state in your contract that fees must be paid prior to the child attending care?

If so then I would message the family today (as soon as their daughter is back in their care) and inform them that you were very disappointed with todays happenings and that being that they have not paid their fee on time for today you are terming as of now and will use the payment given to you for friday to cover today's missed fees.
Nope. Just states that even if the child does not come the last two weeks I do need to be paid. They will receive late fees and then if I take them to court they will have to pay court fees, late fees up until the court date, and the ending balance.
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E Daycare 10:00 AM 03-31-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
It sounds like you are angry because you didn't say no to them.
Very angry Nan! I cant for the life of me sometimes say no. Ive always been a "Yes" woman and Its caused me nothing but grief. Here in my business and when I worked outside the home. Im starting to think I just dont have it in me to be curt or strong. I want to be.


Originally Posted by nannyde:
Now you are willing to give up the money. The timing of that is off. You need to "get to that place" BEFORE they ruin your day.
Ive been at that place since before the new year. Ive been trying to replace them but we needed the money. We havent done taxes yet so we are still going to struggle a bit but desperate times call for desperate measures.
Originally Posted by nannyde:
Piece of advice.... don't give gray times to them. If you tell them you MIGHT care for the kid IF this or that happens... all they are going to here is that you will take the kid. PERIOD They don't hear the terms... just the yes.
YES!!!



Originally Posted by nannyde:
You can put a BIG red CLOSED sign on your door for future situations like this. It gives you something to point to when the Dad says he wants care.
Another good idea (of course)

Nan, once you decide to start running seminars on "how to grow a backbone", "heres what I do", or "Nans way 101" Ill fly out for sure!
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nannyde 10:18 AM 03-31-2011
Originally Posted by E Daycare:
Nan, once you decide to start running seminars on "how to grow a backbone", "heres what I do", or "Nans way 101" Ill fly out for sure!
That's what I'm sayin
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Kaddidle Care 12:25 PM 03-31-2011
I'm so sorry that you have been taken advantage of. Best wishes with the termination.

You need to go do something really special with your son now. (Hop is coming out tomorrow I think - that's a start. )
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Tags:backbone, taken advantage, terminate
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