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spud912 01:26 PM 03-31-2011
So my daughter is just about 2 years old and is a terror! She is the child who you would dread having as a daycare child and would criticize the parenting. However, to my credit, she was literally born as a firecracker. She started throwing temper tantrums as early as 6-8 months old and began hitting and biting at around 8-10 months old (out of frustration). She wants to do things that older children and adults do, but by herself and without help. When it's not perfect, she throws a huge temper tantrum.

Lately, she has been sick with ear infections and is currently on antibiotics, causing diarrhea. At first, we could blame her particularly crabby mood on the illness, but she has been on the antibiotics for 5 days now and we can't really blame the illness (as it is almost gone). I am really hoping that it is from the illness and not a phase she is going through, but she has been so hard to manage lately. It's been so bad that my mom came and took her yesterday. She was better with my mom (maybe a change in environment?), but today it started horrible with non-stop temper tantrums for hours on end! Normally people would recommend ignoring it, but I can't when she is throwing things and hitting the other dc kids and myself. Meal times are horrible because she throws food everywhere and screams.

I don't know what to do with her anymore. I would re-direct her, but then the other children may think it's favoritism because she doesn't get punished when she hit or pinched them. Luckfully, she has not biten any of the dc kids yet, but she did bite me and my dh so I can see that it's only a matter of time! Time outs don't work because she gets out of them repeatedly and laughs at me. Recently, I have just been putting her into her room and locking the door until she cools off. I told my mom that if she were a dck, I would have termed her long ago. She stressed me out so much today that I actually broke down and cried. I feel like she tests me nonstop all day every day!

Please, does anyone have any suggestions?
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youretooloud 01:37 PM 03-31-2011
If this is honestly new and worse since she got sick, I'd still blame an illness, or something else making her miserable. She sounds miserable to me anyway.

The fact that she can pull herself together for a few hours with grandma still sounds like she's not very happy... but, grandma can do those special grandma things for a while to keep her slightly content.

I know you need to do something right now... and, I have no idea WHAT, other than try to be patient for a while and let this whole thing get out of her system, (including the medicine)

Infections don't always respond the way we think they will, so perhaps the medicine is keeping it at bay, but not making her feel better yet.

I feel bad for you though... it's probably like walking on eggshells with her. You can't look at her, you can't not look at her, you can't talk to her, you can't not talk to her...nothing you do makes her happy.

Is there a large playpen, or pack n play that you can fill with toys and a sippy cup and pillows for her? Maybe she'll like to just sit somewhere of her very own and just chill out for a while.
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momatheart 01:46 PM 03-31-2011
I would put her in a playpen or pack an play she may climb out but tell her when she acts like this she can go in here. Or sit on a chair. You may have to sit and hold her onto a childs chair or something but stay consistant she will hopefully get the point. Try not to let her see your anger or frustration. Fake a calmness I have had too at times.

If after awhile this doesn't work I would go back to the dr maybe the medcine isn't working right.
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SandeeAR 04:09 PM 03-31-2011
Originally Posted by spud912:
It's been so bad that my mom came and took her yesterday. She was better with my mom (maybe a change in environment?),
Could it be that Grandma has been there and done that with you and is MUCH firmer than you are?
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spud912 04:36 PM 03-31-2011
Thanks for the feedback, everyone. I want to say it is her infection and diarrhea. I listened to her stomach and it has been rumbling.

Originally Posted by SandeeAR:
Could it be that Grandma has been there and done that with you and is MUCH firmer than you are?
Well, I really cannot compete with my mom. She has had 6 children and worked both as a foster mother and child care provider for years. However, she watched my daughter for the first 18 months of her life while I worked and she said that she never had a child in her care with as much of a temper as my dd.
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Tags:biting, hitting, tantrums, terrible 2's
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