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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Frustration Continues
melissa ann 10:56 AM 10-21-2011
Yesterday DCM picked up her child right at 5pm. Exactly when I close. Girl was horrible. Crawling on the floor around her mom. Mom grabbed all of girl's things and said she was leaving. Girl said she was staying here. I told her, then you will be here by yourself because we are going out for supper at a relative's and we have to be there at 5:30. Girl kept crawling on the floor. Then mom said to girl. In the mornings you complain about coming to "my name's" house and now you don't want to leave. Finally at 5:15 they got out of the house. We were a few minutes late for our supper. Really annoyed. Mom asked if she napped and I said yes. Well, mom goes to bed at 8:30 and girl wants to stay up. OH, well, not my problem. She's napping now. In fact, she was the first one to fall asleep.

Oh, and yesterday, she ripped my tablecloth. I heard a noise and I asked her what was that and she didn't answer. I walked over to her (she was standing next to the table) and she put in 2 big rips. She wouldnt' answer when I asked why she did it. I told her do you want me to come to your house and rip your things. She then yelled and said you dont' know where I live and I don't like your tablecloth. It's a halloween one. I had it on since last week and only now she doesn't like it. Not that I care. At lunch, since it was just her and my son, I made chicken nuggets and fries. A rare treat. My son and I like to dip our french fries in mayo. She dipped her finger in my son's mayo on his plate. She's 4 yrs old. I have a 2 1/2 yr dcb who behaves better than her.
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Heidi 11:03 AM 10-21-2011
Originally Posted by melissa ann:
Yesterday DCM picked up her child right at 5pm. Exactly when I close. Girl was horrible. Crawling on the floor around her mom. Mom grabbed all of girl's things and said she was leaving. Girl said she was staying here. I told her, then you will be here by yourself because we are going out for supper at a relative's and we have to be there at5:30. Girl kept crawling on the floor. Then mom said to girl. In the mornings you complain about coming to "my name's" house and now you don't want to leave. Finally at 5:15 they got out of the house. We were a few minutes late for our supper. Really annoyed. Mom asked if she napped and I said yes. Well, mom goes to bed at 8:30 and girl wants to stay up. OH, well, not my problem. She's napping now. In fact, she was the first one to fall asleep.
Oh, and yesterday, she ripped my tablecloth. I heard a noise and I asked her what was that and she didn't answer. I walked over to her (she was standing next to the table) and she put in 2 big rips. She wouldnt' answer when I asked why she did it. I told her do you want me to come to your house and rip your things. She then yelled and said you dont' know where I live and I don't like yourtablecloth. It's a halloween one. I had it on since last week and only now she doesn't like it. Not that I care. At lunch, since it was just her and my son, I made chicken nuggets and fries. A rare treat. My son and I like to dip our french fries in mayo. She dipped her finger in my son's mayo on his plate. She's 4 yrs old. I have a 2 1/2 yr dcb who behaves better than her.
I say if mom isn't there by 4:50, have dcg put on her outdoor things, and take her outside to wait with her (holding her hand if she's an eloper). Then, hand her over to mom outside, and say buh bye! Sweetly.

I assume by then everyone else will have left? Do you have someone to keep an eye on your own son while you do this? Otherwise, I guess you'd have to take him out with you.
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wdmmom 11:05 AM 10-21-2011
The longer you let her run circles, she'll run game. Clearly her mom lets her, you don't!

My kids know not to touch other kids, their plates, their clothes, the toys they are playing with, etc.

I wouldn't spend 15 minutes doing a departure. I have 5 kids and I don't spend 15 minutes on all of them! I would have picked up the girl, handed her off to mom and shut the door.

As for the tablecloth...I don't do tableclothes...especially ones that I don't want ruined. That's just a chance you take. On the other hand, she should have been placed in time out and told about telling the truth.
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morgan24 11:12 AM 10-21-2011
I have picked up a dck who was crawling on the floor and didn't want to leave and told them that they weren't staying, opened the door and set them outside and said good bye. The look on dcms face was priceless. I would of removed her from the table for sticking her fingers in someone else plate and told her must be your done since you can't keep your hands to yourself. I think at 4 she is pushing your buttons and I would come done on her over every little thing until she decides it's not worth it to misbehave at your house.
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melissa ann 11:12 AM 10-21-2011
The tablecloth just came from the $1 tree. I did put her time out.

Mom just texted to see if her daughter napped today. I didnt' respond yet. But she is still sleeping since about 12:30. Mom will be furious.
But if she's sleeping, then she's tired. Parents don't understand that the kids play hard and by lunch are exhausted.
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Heidi 11:16 AM 10-21-2011
Originally Posted by melissa ann:
The tablecloth just came from the $1 tree. I did put her time out.

Mom just texted to see if her daughter napped today. I didnt' respond yet. But she is still sleeping since about 12:30. Mom will be furious.
But if she's sleeping, then she's tired. Parents don't understand that the kids play hard and by lunch are exhausted.
Hey, Melissa, ask her if she'd like to have a birthday party at her house for 10 hours a day, 5 days a week, for 8 children who haven't had a nap!
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cheerfuldom 11:22 AM 10-21-2011
let mom know that naps are required at your house and there is no exception. if she doesn't want her daughter to nap, she needs to find another daycare that allows non-nappers. put it in plan simple words for mom and keep going about your schedule. if she is causing too much stress, interview for another family and let this one go.
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wdmmom 11:29 AM 10-21-2011
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
let mom know that naps are required at your house and there is no exception. if she doesn't want her daughter to nap, she needs to find another daycare that allows non-nappers. put it in plan simple words for mom and keep going about your schedule. if she is causing too much stress, interview for another family and let this one go.
Ditto!!! It's not up to mama if her kids sleeps at your house or not. It's yours! I require naps. Any child that doesn't require a full afternoon nap wouldn't be a good fit in my program.
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iheartkids 11:33 AM 10-21-2011
If you really can't stand this girl then just tell the mom it's not working out. Evidently you are not getting along with her and unless you change your mindset to HELP her instead of getting annoyed by her then it's just going to get worse.
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melissa ann 11:43 AM 10-21-2011
Originally Posted by iheartkids:
If you really can't stand this girl then just tell the mom it's not working out. Evidently you are not getting along with her and unless you change your mindset to HELP her instead of getting annoyed by her then it's just going to get worse.
I didn't say I couldn't stand this girl. For the most part, this girl does behave pretty good for me. It's just when her mom is around, she's a totally different person. Because she knows she can get away with it with her mom.

I did text mom to say yes, she napped.
Mom replied. Oh, okay. that's fine. I guess she was tired.

Why is it when kids don't want to go to bed, right away the answer is eliminate naptime at daycare? I guess it couldn't be because her mom and dad are seperated and are having issues. Or mom has a bf who also has a little girl. No, that can't be it. Must be the nap.
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cheerfuldom 01:08 PM 10-21-2011
they want you to eliminate nap at daycare so you get the "wake" time and they get the child on the "sleep" time. they don't want the child to be up at night or even much of the evening and the easy solution for them is for the provider to keep them up and hopefully the child will pass out exhausted when they get home. they don't care or understand about you having to be working 10 hours a day with no break, thats not their problem.

as for pickups and dropoffs, you need to force it to be short and sweet. meet mom at the door, hand out the kid, say goodbye and close the door. mom will make the pickup much faster when she is forced to take the kid to the car asap. also there is no chance for the kid to be bad at the transition because there is virtually no transition, its straight from provider to mom, no lag time.
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Tags:4 year old, bad behavior, control freak, nap - required, rude
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