Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>I Didn't Know People Still Did This...
KEG123 10:07 AM 09-01-2011
So today one dcd says to his kids before going "Be good!" Then proceeded to ask me how the kids have been lately. I said "Well, you know, kids are kids. Dkb sometimes has a hard time following directions, but what 2.5 year old doesn't?" And he goes "Yeah, at home the soap works pretty well. We have him stick out his tongue and lick the bar of soap." Uhh... really? I honestly thought this was an outdated "technique" and so was kinda in shock. I just said "Oh..." 
Sunshine44 10:10 AM 09-01-2011
Yuck! And I do not think I could do that. Torture!
KEG123 10:16 AM 09-01-2011
Furthermore I thought this "technique" was mainly used when kids say curse words?
daycare 10:31 AM 09-01-2011
Of course this is not soemthing that a DC provider would do to thier DCK, but when I grew up I had soap in my mouth on several ocassions from what I can recall.
I also recently had a DCM tell me that her DD went to grandmas and told grandma every bad word she knew. Grandma took it well, but mom put soap in the mouth... I was shocked when she told me, but I guess that was her way of dealing with it. I am sure now days it would be considered abuse, but I don't feel that the mom is abusive, so I just left it.
I also have a book called NO David, it shows a pic of the boy david with a bar of soap in his mouth and the words read: Well daddy says it...
I think people still do it, they are just more quiet about it than beofre. It seems the way we used to get punished is no longer acceptable....
I have no comment on the changes....lol
I also recently had a DCM tell me that her DD went to grandmas and told grandma every bad word she knew. Grandma took it well, but mom put soap in the mouth... I was shocked when she told me, but I guess that was her way of dealing with it. I am sure now days it would be considered abuse, but I don't feel that the mom is abusive, so I just left it.
I also have a book called NO David, it shows a pic of the boy david with a bar of soap in his mouth and the words read: Well daddy says it...
I think people still do it, they are just more quiet about it than beofre. It seems the way we used to get punished is no longer acceptable....
I have no comment on the changes....lol
SilverSabre25 10:40 AM 09-01-2011
2.5 year old?! Poor little guy...that's awful. He doesn't understand. I feel so bad for him.
That is outdated.
That was mostly used for curse words/back talk/etc.
Sounds like they might be using this the way some people use time outs.
Maybe buy them a copy of "Parenting with Love and Logic" or the Dr. Sears "The Discipline Book" or something. Make it a gift; "Here, I know toddlers and preschooler's can be challenging; I love these, they might give you some insight!"
That is outdated.
That was mostly used for curse words/back talk/etc.
Sounds like they might be using this the way some people use time outs.
Maybe buy them a copy of "Parenting with Love and Logic" or the Dr. Sears "The Discipline Book" or something. Make it a gift; "Here, I know toddlers and preschooler's can be challenging; I love these, they might give you some insight!"
VTMom 11:08 AM 09-01-2011
I remember when me and my cousins said bad words and my aunt put soap on our tongues...Cashmere Bouquet! Being the smarty pants we are, we decided as a group that we liked the taste and continued saying bad words and begging for more soap. My poor aunt gave up in tears!
Sorry...off track...but brought back some fun memories (or traumatic in my aunt's case)!
Sorry...off track...but brought back some fun memories (or traumatic in my aunt's case)!
Sugar Magnolia 11:57 AM 09-01-2011
My husband told me once that his dad made him and his brother sit down at the kitchen table and each eat a half an onion and a half a lemon. But they were 16 and 14 at the time! And they were fist fighting, dropping f bombs and cussing like sailors, admitted they deserved it! He merely mentioned this option to our 16 year old and that was the end to his cussing....
2.5 years old though!!! What?!? That's so ugly! Teens, ok. Toddlers-messed up!!!!
2.5 years old though!!! What?!? That's so ugly! Teens, ok. Toddlers-messed up!!!!
Meeko 11:59 AM 09-01-2011
I remember the taste well........
youretooloud 12:10 PM 09-01-2011
I had a dad say one time "Ya, he's still putting everything in his mouth" (he was too old for this) "So, we sneak up and slap it farther into his mouth... feel free to use this technique"
"What.. so *I* can pay for his dental work?"
I don't see how punishing the mouth can work for any reason. Discipline is called "get off your butt parenting... it doesn't mean cause pain, it means, get up and intervene, help, teach, redirect"
"What.. so *I* can pay for his dental work?"
I don't see how punishing the mouth can work for any reason. Discipline is called "get off your butt parenting... it doesn't mean cause pain, it means, get up and intervene, help, teach, redirect"
youretooloud 12:11 PM 09-01-2011
Originally Posted by Sugar Magnolia:
2.5 years old though!!! What?!? That's so ugly! Teens, ok. Toddlers-messed up!!!!
I agree. 2.5 years old though!!! What?!? That's so ugly! Teens, ok. Toddlers-messed up!!!!
(extra words, because it wouldn't let me just say "I agree")
sharlan 12:20 PM 09-01-2011
Originally Posted by VTMom:
I remember when me and my cousins said bad words and my aunt put soap on our tongues...Cashmere Bouquet! Being the smarty pants we are, we decided as a group that we liked the taste and continued saying bad words and begging for more soap. My poor aunt gave up in tears!
Sorry...off track...but brought back some fun memories (or traumatic in my aunt's case)!
Neighbor kid love the taste of Ivory soap so much that they had to quit using it.I remember when me and my cousins said bad words and my aunt put soap on our tongues...Cashmere Bouquet! Being the smarty pants we are, we decided as a group that we liked the taste and continued saying bad words and begging for more soap. My poor aunt gave up in tears!
Sorry...off track...but brought back some fun memories (or traumatic in my aunt's case)!
pixsydust 01:23 PM 09-01-2011
I saw on the news a few years ago that a child had an allergic reaction to the soap after his mom "washed his mouth out." The child passed away.
spud912 01:48 PM 09-01-2011
Originally Posted by daycare:
I also have a book called NO David, it shows a pic of the boy david with a bar of soap in his mouth and the words read: Well daddy says it...
I have the same book and that page isn't in there. I wonder if it's a newer "edition" of the book (I bought it new a few months ago).I also have a book called NO David, it shows a pic of the boy david with a bar of soap in his mouth and the words read: Well daddy says it...
Blackcat31 02:09 PM 09-01-2011
I would think in light of the mom who used hot sauce as punishment to her 7 year old son and was charged with child abuse, I would think soap should be a really bad alternative. At least hotsauce is a viable food product.
http://abcnews.go.com/US/hot-sauce-m...ry?id=12796871
http://abcnews.go.com/US/hot-sauce-m...ry?id=12796871
Michael 03:32 PM 09-01-2011
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I would think in light of the mom who used hot sauce as punishment to her 7 year old son and was charged with child abuse, I would think soap should be a really bad alternative. At least hotsauce is a viable food product.
http://abcnews.go.com/US/hot-sauce-m...ry?id=12796871
Actually I think my parents hit the hot sauce with me when I was a kid. I think that is why I like spicy food now. Soap a couple times. My kids never cursed so maybe it takes a generation or two for it work work. (note: I never used either on my children)I would think in light of the mom who used hot sauce as punishment to her 7 year old son and was charged with child abuse, I would think soap should be a really bad alternative. At least hotsauce is a viable food product.
http://abcnews.go.com/US/hot-sauce-m...ry?id=12796871
mac60 04:26 PM 09-01-2011
Giving a child a taste of soap has been a remedy for being/saying naughty things for years and years. It is not abuse. No wonder the young kids of today, from toddlers to young adults, are disrepectful and out of control, for some reason so many think a form of discipline that was used for years and years that worked is suddenly "bad". If a child is old enough to drop the f bomb, or the bit-- word, or mouth off to an adult, they are old enough to have a taste of soap. If more parents would be proactive in discipline, society would be a much better place. 
Former Teacher 04:53 PM 09-01-2011
Oh yes I had the soap ONE time. I said the B word once to my mother. She grabbed the soap and got it wet and then put it in my mouth and scrapped it on my front teeth.
Like I said I never did it again
Like I said I never did it again
Crystal 05:04 PM 09-01-2011
Originally Posted by mac60:
Giving a child a taste of soap has been a remedy for being/saying naughty things for years and years. It is not abuse. No wonder the young kids of today, from toddlers to young adults, are disrepectful and out of control, for some reason so many think a form of discipline that was used for years and years that worked is suddenly "bad". If a child is old enough to drop the f bomb, or the bit-- word, or mouth off to an adult, they are old enough to have a taste of soap. If more parents would be proactive in discipline, society would be a much better place.
Really? You really think that a lack of "soap in the mouth" or a lack of spanking is the reason children misbehave? REALLY???????Giving a child a taste of soap has been a remedy for being/saying naughty things for years and years. It is not abuse. No wonder the young kids of today, from toddlers to young adults, are disrepectful and out of control, for some reason so many think a form of discipline that was used for years and years that worked is suddenly "bad". If a child is old enough to drop the f bomb, or the bit-- word, or mouth off to an adult, they are old enough to have a taste of soap. If more parents would be proactive in discipline, society would be a much better place.
I think the typical child who misbehaves does it due to a desire for attention. I think it is most commonly seen in children who have highly self-involved parents who are unwilling to spend the time and energy it takes to develop children who understand right from wrong, and who respect the parent because they love them rather than fear them. I think if parents would get off their phone, get off the internet, quit spending every waking moment socializing and caring for themselves and spend TIME with thier children and enact APPROPRIATE consequences for misbehavior society would be a much better place.
FTR...soap is poisonous. It may not be fatal unless there is a significant amount of ingestion, but it does cause illness.
Live and Learn 06:52 PM 09-01-2011
Soap in the mouth of a child is abuse.There is teaching discipline and then there is child abuse.
WImom 06:56 PM 09-01-2011
I threatened my own 6 year old when she kept spitting at her dad during a tantrum. She knows I mean business and stopped right away and hasn't done it since. Now if I really had to do it I would have because I said I would but I would have probably just put some one my finger not the whole bar.
Oneluckymom 07:40 PM 09-01-2011
Originally Posted by pixsydust:
I saw on the news a few years ago that a child had an allergic reaction to the soap after his mom "washed his mouth out." The child passed away.
OMG, how awful....can you imagine the parents ( I don't know what kind of parents they were) but I'm sure they thought they were doing the right thing. How sad. Soap is full of chemicals...( not meant for consumption)I saw on the news a few years ago that a child had an allergic reaction to the soap after his mom "washed his mouth out." The child passed away.
KEG123 07:46 PM 09-01-2011
Yeah and for a 2.5 year old? Who pretty much doesn't talk as it is? Just seems odd to me. I could possibly understand a cursing preteen/teen, but this situation just doesn't fit the punishment, IMO.
MyAngels 08:21 PM 09-01-2011
Originally Posted by Crystal:
Really? You really think that a lack of "soap in the mouth" or a lack of spanking is the reason children misbehave? REALLY???????
I think the typical child who misbehaves does it due to a desire for attention. I think it is most commonly seen in children who have highly self-involved parents who are unwilling to spend the time and energy it takes to develop children who understand right from wrong, and who respect the parent because they love them rather than fear them. I think if parents would get off their phone, get off the internet, quit spending every waking moment socializing and caring for themselves and spend TIME with thier children and enact APPROPRIATE consequences for misbehavior society would be a much better place.
FTR...soap is poisonous. It may not be fatal unless there is a significant amount of ingestion, but it does cause illness.
Very well said. Parenting is a demanding, time consuming and, at times, very difficult undertaking. Fortunately the rewards are worth every moment invested. Okay, now that I've jumped off the "soap" box (sorry, I just couldn't resist)...Really? You really think that a lack of "soap in the mouth" or a lack of spanking is the reason children misbehave? REALLY???????
I think the typical child who misbehaves does it due to a desire for attention. I think it is most commonly seen in children who have highly self-involved parents who are unwilling to spend the time and energy it takes to develop children who understand right from wrong, and who respect the parent because they love them rather than fear them. I think if parents would get off their phone, get off the internet, quit spending every waking moment socializing and caring for themselves and spend TIME with thier children and enact APPROPRIATE consequences for misbehavior society would be a much better place.
FTR...soap is poisonous. It may not be fatal unless there is a significant amount of ingestion, but it does cause illness.
The soap of today is vastly different than the "soap" that my mother or grandmother would have used to "wash out my mouth." I can't imagine doing that to a 2.5 year old
.
mac60 03:54 AM 09-02-2011
Originally Posted by Crystal:
Really? You really think that a lack of "soap in the mouth" or a lack of spanking is the reason children misbehave? REALLY???????
I think the typical child who misbehaves does it due to a desire for attention. I think it is most commonly seen in children who have highly self-involved parents who are unwilling to spend the time and energy it takes to develop children who understand right from wrong, and who respect the parent because they love them rather than fear them. I think if parents would get off their phone, get off the internet, quit spending every waking moment socializing and caring for themselves and spend TIME with thier children and enact APPROPRIATE consequences for misbehavior society would be a much better place.
FTR...soap is poisonous. It may not be fatal unless there is a significant amount of ingestion, but it does cause illness.
Yep, I do. But even more so, lazy ass parents. I think the parenting skills of so many today are absolutely rediculous and non existent. Gotta be Susie's friend instead of the responsible adult/parent. Just look at the Amish community....their children are typically very well behaved, and yep, they still believe in going to the wood shed when necessary. And seriously....who the hell said anything about making a child injest soap.....of coarse it would be a small dab on the finger. Gees.Really? You really think that a lack of "soap in the mouth" or a lack of spanking is the reason children misbehave? REALLY???????
I think the typical child who misbehaves does it due to a desire for attention. I think it is most commonly seen in children who have highly self-involved parents who are unwilling to spend the time and energy it takes to develop children who understand right from wrong, and who respect the parent because they love them rather than fear them. I think if parents would get off their phone, get off the internet, quit spending every waking moment socializing and caring for themselves and spend TIME with thier children and enact APPROPRIATE consequences for misbehavior society would be a much better place.
FTR...soap is poisonous. It may not be fatal unless there is a significant amount of ingestion, but it does cause illness.
Crystal 06:22 AM 09-02-2011
Originally Posted by mac60:
Yep, I do. But even more so, lazy ass parents. I think the parenting skills of so many today are absolutely rediculous and non existent. Gotta be Susie's friend instead of the responsible adult/parent. Just look at the Amish community....their children are typically very well behaved, and yep, they still believe in going to the wood shed when necessary. And seriously....who the hell said anything about making a child injest soap.....of coarse it would be a small dab on the finger. Gees.
I agree re. lazy parents. I see it frequently. (not with my child care families, just in public, generally) I also agree about being friends rather than the parent.Yep, I do. But even more so, lazy ass parents. I think the parenting skills of so many today are absolutely rediculous and non existent. Gotta be Susie's friend instead of the responsible adult/parent. Just look at the Amish community....their children are typically very well behaved, and yep, they still believe in going to the wood shed when necessary. And seriously....who the hell said anything about making a child injest soap.....of coarse it would be a small dab on the finger. Gees.
Soap is ingested when put in the mouth....it's inevitable. And, if soap in mouth happens often enough, it could become toxic.
Vesta 06:32 AM 09-02-2011
I've never put soap in anyone's mouth and don't plan on it, but this is all I can think about with this thread.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ktzt096mlxs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ktzt096mlxs
KEG123 06:45 AM 09-02-2011
Originally Posted by Vesta:
I've never put soap in anyone's mouth and don't plan on it, but this is all I can think about with this thread.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ktzt096mlxs
hehehhe...love that movie!I've never put soap in anyone's mouth and don't plan on it, but this is all I can think about with this thread.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ktzt096mlxs
mac60 08:35 AM 09-02-2011
What movie is it. Never saw that video before.
My Daycare 08:55 AM 09-02-2011
A Christmas Story
KEG123 10:52 AM 09-02-2011
Originally Posted by mac60:
What movie is it. Never saw that video before.
Christmas Story. You sure are out of the loop! One of the BEST Christmas movies of ALL time!!!What movie is it. Never saw that video before.
daycare 11:20 AM 09-02-2011
Mac60
I have to somewhat agree with this. I had to witness the most outrageous children a few months back. My husband invited some friends and their kids to go to Disneyland with us. They had this wonderful idea to carpool all in my vehicle...Stinks when you have a really big vehicle, everyone expects you to drive them around....lol
Anyway. These children ages 3 and 5 would hit, slap their parents in the face, sock them, curse at them, spit on them, kick them and often would team up on their parents. At one point it was so out of control in the car on the ride home that I decided to step in and tell the 5 year old that she would not scream in the car or we would pull over and she would have to get out. In return she spit on me and then proceeded to pull my hair. The parents always reacted, but they tried to react with words and it just was not working. In the end, nothing happened. THe parents got upset at me for trying to do something when they weren't and I asked for the parents to move her carseat to the back row so that I did not have to continue to be the victim of getting hit or spit on. I was blown away the parents did nothing..
I don't believe in hitting a child and then telling them that it's wrong to hit, but what do you do when children are this out of control? What consequence do you give them? Time out does not work and words just made it worse.
Honestly, if they were my children and they ever tried that I would have pulled over the car, spanked them and made them sit there until they could control their behavior and then apologies to every person in the car.... I would be so embarrassed if my child ever acted out like that anywhere or to anyone...
I have to somewhat agree with this. I had to witness the most outrageous children a few months back. My husband invited some friends and their kids to go to Disneyland with us. They had this wonderful idea to carpool all in my vehicle...Stinks when you have a really big vehicle, everyone expects you to drive them around....lol
Anyway. These children ages 3 and 5 would hit, slap their parents in the face, sock them, curse at them, spit on them, kick them and often would team up on their parents. At one point it was so out of control in the car on the ride home that I decided to step in and tell the 5 year old that she would not scream in the car or we would pull over and she would have to get out. In return she spit on me and then proceeded to pull my hair. The parents always reacted, but they tried to react with words and it just was not working. In the end, nothing happened. THe parents got upset at me for trying to do something when they weren't and I asked for the parents to move her carseat to the back row so that I did not have to continue to be the victim of getting hit or spit on. I was blown away the parents did nothing..
I don't believe in hitting a child and then telling them that it's wrong to hit, but what do you do when children are this out of control? What consequence do you give them? Time out does not work and words just made it worse.
Honestly, if they were my children and they ever tried that I would have pulled over the car, spanked them and made them sit there until they could control their behavior and then apologies to every person in the car.... I would be so embarrassed if my child ever acted out like that anywhere or to anyone...
mac60 02:14 PM 09-02-2011
Originally Posted by KEG123:
Christmas Story. You sure are out of the loop! One of the BEST Christmas movies of ALL time!!!
I have honestly never seen it all, but I do know he gets his tongue stuck to the post. Well, I hope that is the right movie anyways.Christmas Story. You sure are out of the loop! One of the BEST Christmas movies of ALL time!!!
mac60 02:18 PM 09-02-2011
To Daycare: Amen to your post.
meganlavonnesmommy 05:26 PM 09-02-2011
Soap in the mouth is legally considered child abuse.
I was watching a news report on the recent case of the mom who was charged for putting hot sauce in her childs mouth. And they said soap was considered child abuse also.
Not sure I agree with it, but legally its not ok.
I was watching a news report on the recent case of the mom who was charged for putting hot sauce in her childs mouth. And they said soap was considered child abuse also.
Not sure I agree with it, but legally its not ok.