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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Bathroom Issues with 4 Year old
Unregistered 08:26 AM 12-03-2014
I have a 4 year old DCG who frequently will pee her pants and then say she needs to go to the bathroom. These are by no means accidents as she is soaking herself down to her feet and on the floor. I have been dealing with this off and on for quite awhile now. She was fully potty trained at one point, but now seems to go in spurts where she makes no attempt to get to the bathroom. She will do the same thing at home on occasion. I have never had a situation like this with any other child. I feel like I have tried a lot of things to get this to stop, but it is hard when we can't figure out what is the reason behind it. She goes to preschool twice a week for 2 1/2 hours and has never done this there. Any advice on what to try would be greatly appreciated!
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therov 08:42 AM 12-03-2014
Could it be a UTI? I knew a five-year-old that had mysteriously regressed, according to her father. I asked him if she had been checked for a UTI. Lo and behold, that was the problem...
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Kimskiddos 09:01 AM 12-03-2014
Ruling out UTI is a good place to start. I had a very feisty, manipulative 3.75yo dcg who went through of phase of purposely wetting herself (she had been fully trained for over a year). What finally worked for me was taking away all big girl privileges. I told her until she can keep herself dry she would only be allowed the little kids stuff, because big kid stuff was only for kids that use the potty. It worked in just a couple of days.
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ColorfulSunburst 09:47 AM 12-03-2014
I would start to send her to bathroom every 40 minutes/an one hour (choose your number) as I do with children who are in the process of potty training. For me it is more simple than cleaning up and change her after every accident.
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BrooklynM 10:10 AM 12-03-2014
How long has this been going on for? Is there anything in her life or routine that changed at the same time? Was there a new child starting daycare, a move at home, etc?

As far as a UTI is concerned, there are at home tests that you can get from the store and you could test her urine, or the parents can. What are the parents saying about it? Is she just playing really hard and holding it? When she does pee was she just in the middle of active play or does it happen when she is sitting/quiet, etc?
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Unregistered 10:46 AM 12-03-2014
Can you have her take responsibility for the accident by helping you clean it up each time? If there is no medical condition, that's what I would do. I would try to keep a pleasant attitude b/c its not a punishment, but just kindly have her put her dirty clothes in the bag to send home, get her own clean clothes from her cubby, & help with the clean up. I found with my own ds that when he had to be responsible (ie., putting wet clothes in hamper, getting his new clothes out himself, & getting out a cloth for me to use in the clean up of floor, furniture, etc.) taking time to potty became less work than having the accident. I think sometimes they just don't want to stop playing to go. If the accident takes more time say from playing than stopping to potty would, that seems to encourage them to use the potty.
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Hunni Bee 11:38 AM 12-03-2014
I have had kids that "enjoyed" the drama of wetting themselves, getting to put on different clothes/underwear, getting special attention from me, having extra bags to take home.

I started making sure they had the most boring clothes to put on (no character underwear, ugly sweats etc.) and making sure we did something fun while they were changing.

Usually does the trick.
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Heidi 12:10 PM 12-03-2014
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Can you have her take responsibility for the accident by helping you clean it up each time? If there is no medical condition, that's what I would do. I would try to keep a pleasant attitude b/c its not a punishment, but just kindly have her put her dirty clothes in the bag to send home, get her own clean clothes from her cubby, & help with the clean up. I found with my own ds that when he had to be responsible (ie., putting wet clothes in hamper, getting his new clothes out himself, & getting out a cloth for me to use in the clean up of floor, furniture, etc.) taking time to potty became less work than having the accident. I think sometimes they just don't want to stop playing to go. If the accident takes more time say from playing than stopping to potty would, that seems to encourage them to use the potty.
I agree with this. Keep the drama minimum, just "well, once you have clean clothes on, you can come back and play". Having her help clean up (but not if that's fun for her) makes sense, too. These are natural consequences.

Hunni Bee has a good point, too. If she's into "cute" clothes and changing for fun, make sure that there are only boring things to change into.

I am 50 years old, and I can honestly remember doing this at 4 or 5. I was potty trained (old school) at 15 months or so, but I did not want to stop playing long enough to go potty. Eventually, I guess I just outgrew it.
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