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  #1  
Old 03-29-2021, 11:17 AM
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Default Starting New Kids

Does anyone else have a HARD time starting new kids? I struggle with it so much. I have extremely high anxiety so starting new kids makes it a thousand times worse! I can't continue to do daycare if I keep finding reasons to get rid of new kids, but I also struggle so much mentally when I do. I did daycare for 12 years before I opened my in home 8 months ago but starting kids in my home is so much harder. I just started a new child and today is the first day she is here for nap, she climbed out of the pack and play and just stood at my door screaming. She is 2 1/2 and has been with mom since she was born so she is really struggling. Mom also dropped a bomb after I accepted them that the child gets febrile seizures so that really has me on edge. I so badly want to go back to my old crew and my old routine, but that can't happen if I want to continue to do daycare. Does anyone else have this problem?
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Old 03-29-2021, 03:32 PM
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Originally Posted by mamadaycare View Post
Does anyone else have a HARD time starting new kids? I struggle with it so much. I have extremely high anxiety so starting new kids makes it a thousand times worse! I can't continue to do daycare if I keep finding reasons to get rid of new kids, but I also struggle so much mentally when I do. I did daycare for 12 years before I opened my in home 8 months ago but starting kids in my home is so much harder. I just started a new child and today is the first day she is here for nap, she climbed out of the pack and play and just stood at my door screaming. She is 2 1/2 and has been with mom since she was born so she is really struggling. Mom also dropped a bomb after I accepted them that the child gets febrile seizures so that really has me on edge. I so badly want to go back to my old crew and my old routine, but that can't happen if I want to continue to do daycare. Does anyone else have this problem?
I started dcb3 today. I would think about laying your new dcg2.5 on a cot/mat and lay her where she can see you. This is my practice for all new kids. 12 months and up, for me anyways, works better on a cot. Maybe even give them a book, but I found my dcb3 could see the other kids and peer-learning is my best advocate; he followed the routines well due to watching my other kids. Now he was a little out of sorts during free play as he was overwhelmed by the play centers and wanting to 'do it all' today. Now the seizures that you were told about after the fact would concern me; I'm sure that is how the client planned it. That would create a trust issue with me. Good luck!
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Old 03-29-2021, 04:01 PM
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I started dcb3 today. I would think about laying your new dcg2.5 on a cot/mat and lay her where she can see you. This is my practice for all new kids. 12 months and up, for me anyways, works better on a cot. Maybe even give them a book, but I found my dcb3 could see the other kids and peer-learning is my best advocate; he followed the routines well due to watching my other kids. Now he was a little out of sorts during free play as he was overwhelmed by the play centers and wanting to 'do it all' today. Now the seizures that you were told about after the fact would concern me; I'm sure that is how the client planned it. That would create a trust issue with me. Good luck!
Thank you for the advice! I will definitely try that! Yes, after the fact really made me wonder what else she was hiding. Every day I am finding out new things and I am not impressed. Things that I definitely feel should have been disclosed in the being when I made the decision to accept them.
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Old 03-30-2021, 07:13 AM
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Thank you for the advice! I will definitely try that! Yes, after the fact really made me wonder what else she was hiding. Every day I am finding out new things and I am not impressed. Things that I definitely feel should have been disclosed in the being when I made the decision to accept them.

I had that family once, after signing the paperwork and marking no in the box for special conditions, Dcm let's it slip that the SA child has adhd. I struggled with her for months and could not figure out what I was doing wrong, if I said A she wanted B. She was here for ten - twenty minutes from bus drop off to dcd picking up every day. It was a real struggle daily. Then one day Dcm let it slip that SA had ODD too. I was pissed that she with held that info and made me struggle like I did. I would have termed if it wasn't for the fact that I had 8m baby in care too. After baby turned one I started believing that baby had odd too. Then after baby stepped on my big toe and busted my toe nail, I had it. (The nail was cracked all the way down and to grow out broken for months)

I termed and I think you should too. Use the excuse that you are downsizing Give it time with the group that you have and then look again in a few months when the market is hot in May.
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Old 03-30-2021, 08:47 AM
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Starting new kids has always been an adjustment. Each one comes with their own unique quirks.

Do you have a trial clause in your contract? I have a 2-week trial period in mine. You can have a longer time period if you like, but you can terminate anytime within that time frame if the child just isnít adjusting.

The most amazing thing Iíve noticed is the children that climb out of their pack-n-play stay better on rest mats. Go figure. Itís worth a try.

Febrile seizures occur with fever, so if youíre checking the kids when they come in and throughout the day, you can contact parents at the first sign of fever and have them pick-up the child. Any of your kids already in care can develop febrile seizures at any time. I wouldnít let that scare me as long as you make a plan with parents and donít have a history of trouble contacting them. First Aid training will help you prepare for the possibility of dealing with one. The thing they donít teach you in training is how to deal with the other kids that witness it because trauma tends to scare them too. Hopefully there isnít anything more serious dcm hasnít told you.
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Old 03-30-2021, 08:57 AM
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I have found the best way to make starting new children easiest is to make sure I have honed my interview process to weed out everything I simply cannot manage.

The better my interviewing skills got, the easier the new kid transition became.
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Old 03-30-2021, 12:22 PM
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So last night when mom came to pick up I told her I thought she would adjust really well, we would just struggle with nap. Then mom lets it out that they have a sleep trainer and have since she was a baby. And she sleeps great at night. So I was shocked, for a second I felt like that could be so helpful with nap! This morning when mom came in I asked if there are any tips I need to know for nap, maybe anything the sleep trainer suggests? She replies with, "Nope, she just doesn't nap well. We are lucky to get an hour." *cue jawdrop* So I let her come for the day trying to figure out a way to make this work. I texted mom expressing my concern, and she pulled because they didn't think she was ready for daycare yet. She has been with mom since day one and tried a very expensive private daycare, then me and ultimately decided she wasnt ready. To say I was relieved was an understatement. She just wasn't a good fit. She had so many medical needs (not previously stated) that she needs a nanny.
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Old 03-30-2021, 12:26 PM
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I have found the best way to make starting new children easiest is to make sure I have honed my interview process to weed out everything I simply cannot manage.

The better my interviewing skills got, the easier the new kid transition became.
Truth.
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Old 03-30-2021, 12:54 PM
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Originally Posted by mamadaycare View Post
So last night when mom came to pick up I told her I thought she would adjust really well, we would just struggle with nap. Then mom lets it out that they have a sleep trainer and have since she was a baby. And she sleeps great at night. So I was shocked, for a second I felt like that could be so helpful with nap! This morning when mom came in I asked if there are any tips I need to know for nap, maybe anything the sleep trainer suggests? She replies with, "Nope, she just doesn't nap well. We are lucky to get an hour." *cue jawdrop* So I let her come for the day trying to figure out a way to make this work. I texted mom expressing my concern, and she pulled because they didn't think she was ready for daycare yet. She has been with mom since day one and tried a very expensive private daycare, then me and ultimately decided she wasnt ready. To say I was relieved was an understatement. She just wasn't a good fit. She had so many medical needs (not previously stated) that she needs a nanny.
I bet you feel so much better now. I know I would.

I agree with BC too, the better I get at recognizing crazy the better the kids I get.
However, I don't do the 2-week trial for a few reasons but mainly I stressed too much during the first 2 weeks, fearing that the parent would pull. (Then it happened when I had a family who used me for care until they found a nanny, they told me that they use to have a nanny but now we're switching to a daycare.) Another reason is that the first two weeks is considered a honeymoon period and their true color come out afterward. (I just had this happen too, dcb was so good during the first 2 weeks, and then by the 4th week I ended up terming.) So instead I recommend an "at-will" contract but you would like to try the trial period, go for it.
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Old 03-31-2021, 06:42 AM
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I have found the best way to make starting new children easiest is to make sure I have honed my interview process to weed out everything I simply cannot manage.

The better my interviewing skills got, the easier the new kid transition became.
This was definitely our experience. And also allow for a transition period that all new children go through. But at the end of the day, sometimes you just have to tell a parent that it is not working out if there are too many problems.
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